Normal to feel exhausted/stressed with newborn and toddler?

(37 Posts)
Winetime1981 Mon 20-May-13 19:35:55

My DS is 25 months and my DD is six weeks tomorrow. I'm just getting into the swing of looking after them both after DH going back to work.

I don't stop. All day. And then when DH gets home it's running around doing things I've not been able to do in the day. I feel like every day is a marathon.

I went to a toddler group today and I found it really quite stressful. My friend was there with her six week old and totally unflapped and calm while I was being leaked on by an overflowing nappy of poo, leaking breast milk everywhere after lopping a boob out and trying to stop my son hitting other children repeatedly. When I was a new mum I was even more of a mess, I keep thinking; I've done this before! It should be easier.

Please tell me I'm not abnormal and this level of stress and exhaustion is common!

Littlemissmagnet Tue 21-May-13 18:54:47

Yes I am same DD 3 months and DS 3 years.Ruby you described me to a tee. DD fed all day until recently in the last week or two I notice I have breaks where I can give my three yr old some well needed attention.

Currently pretending I am really interested in mouk throwing a few relevant comments in DS,s direction aware feeding time is now impacting on bath time! Which will make for a great bedtime!
Last week made it to a 9am group for first time in a month and it was cancelled due to staff illness!!!

I bribe him to get him out to pre school and thank god for pre school at the same time. I have no family nearby so is my only break.

The only downside I have no baby group I can to go to during pre school so I know no baby's the same age as DD. Has anyone else had this problem with no 2?
On the other hand it seems to be getting easier more normal for us and DD is sleeping better now than my DS ever did. Only up 2 times a night compare to every 2.5 hours!

Sorry its a long one yes I hope too it is normal to be this tired.

Slw8000 Tue 21-May-13 19:06:21

I too am expecting number 2 in August, ds will be 20 months. When I think about it I am terrified of 2 under 2 so I am mainly burying my head in the sand! I don't think standards can get any lower in our house, can't remember the last time I used the Hoover and its fish and chips for dinner tonight. Dh is away 2 nights a week and those nights I quite like as I can stare aimlessly at the tv and go to bed at 9.
Thank you ladies me laugh and I feel better about the arrival of number 2, I look forward to the new levels of mess in our house!

CassieTheCockatoo Tue 21-May-13 23:51:34

Good tip for white buttons recall -thanks!

In the first few weeks with DC2, we used to put DC1 to bed at night and whenever DC2 finished a feed we would put him down and go and have an evening nap! It kept us sane! This meant we could all be found asleep at 8pm and then back up when the baby woke for a feed again. We would sometimes have dinner at 10pm when we were up again to maximize our evening nap time!

It gets better and quite quickly too.

RubyrooUK Wed 22-May-13 00:40:34

I actually had to work tonight. Big event, important for job/career that I was there.

Externally, there I was. Posh dress, styled hair, make up....smiling, chatting, performing....accepting congratulations on my lovely nine week old DS2.

In reality, it took military precision: a list on my phone of how all relevant timings and when I could escape to breastfeed; importing my mum from another country to look after DS1 at home; my DH juggling DS2 in another room at the venue; three bottles of expressed milk (two immediately vomited back up); one breast pump in a steriliser bag; curling hair with a baby on the boob; control tights to hold in post-baby belly; concealer hiding dark shadows revealing that DS2 woke up three times last night and got up at 5am while DS1 woke up twice and got up at 6:30am......

God I am so tired.

jollyhappy Wed 22-May-13 00:52:40

RubyrooUK Thank you for your lovely posts!

As someone with a new born and a toddler I find myself going bonkers.

My toddler has the free childcare and it is just not worth it by the time I get him out the door it is time to collect him. Today it took so long to get anywhere I missed every appointment and then thought stuff it I'm going to stay out all day with the toddler and baby to minimise house mess.

moremintsliceplease Wed 22-May-13 11:52:45

So nice to find this thread - I have DS 2.10 and DD 3 weeks. She feeds constantly and only naps on me so feel v guilty as used to do so much with my PFB all my jeans were worn out on the knees from playing so much and now it is tv while I feed and saying no or later constantly to my DS. Was wondering howothers were coping!

winetime1981 Wed 22-May-13 12:02:59

Cbeebies makes me feel less shit than random cartoons as I feel it's at least marginally educational. Although Justin Fletcher does creep me out...

AlfieBear87 Wed 22-May-13 14:10:57

I have an 18mo and an 8 week old. I am tired.

My 18mo is currently trying to cut all his teeth in one go and is tired and in pain. It's horrible seeing him suffering but not being able to give him all my attention due to ds2 being a limpet baby.

Similarly it's horrible listening to ds2 crying whilst I'm trying to get lunch/tea/medicine for ds1.

But when they're both happy and smiley it's an amazing feeling and I wouldn't change it for the world smile

winetime1981 Wed 22-May-13 14:20:10

When baby is on your lap and toddler snuggled up beside you grin

Or when DH comes home and you have a family hug smile

winetime1981 Wed 22-May-13 14:20:39

grin at 'limpet baby'

winetime1981 Wed 22-May-13 14:21:28

Rubyroo you're my hero

RubyrooUK Wed 22-May-13 16:51:37

Hahaha. I am not a hero. I am an extremely tired woman whose baby has extracted 20 breastfeeds so far today in revenge for not being able to non-stop cluster feed last night. (The poor child only had 10 feeds between 6pm and 6am, poor deprived baby.)

The toddler is at nursery but I am already dreading his lovely but rampant return shortly, when he will demand orange processed food and command all the remote controls, my phone and my iPad.

He will ask to watch the first five minutes of Toy Story on a loop. But ONLY the first five minutes. He will tell me off for eating chocolate like a junior body fascist - "no mummy, just one choc for you". I will weakly allow all these things to occur. And go to bed as soon as humanly possible.

grin

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