Hard to take Parenting advice from Parents

(9 Posts)
lola88 Tue 21-May-13 21:34:51

My mum just pretty much tells me everything's wrong last night it was leaving 16mo DS in his cot until he fell asleep because it's cruel though he wasn't even crying, MIL does this look that says you have no idea what your doing which is actually worse at least my mum just puts it out there n I can tell her to shut up.

QTPie Mon 20-May-13 23:05:16

Still, my favourite, from my mum... whilst I was still in hospital and DS was just days old... "oh he is a lovely baby. You were a lovely baby, but you turned into a horrible child". Luckily her cousin shut her up - after she repeated the same thing again - because I was on the edge of throwing her out of my hospital room... angry

The other (also from my Mum) when DS was really ill (about 10 months old) and just cried loads, no matter what I did - so I just held him close and cuddled him. He very very very rarely ever did this (this was maybe once of twice...)! But my mother said "can't you calm him down? I could ALWAYS get through to you and calm you down". Wonderful, that didn't add to my stress levels...

rrreow Mon 20-May-13 22:25:21

Oh and spoon feeding DS and following every bite with an over the top "well done! good boy!" despite the fact that he eats and can feed himself perfectly well.

rrreow Mon 20-May-13 22:22:04

Comments (never quite negative, but definitely judgemental) about 'extended' breastfeeding. I put extended in inverted commas because I fed DS until he was 14mo (it was his choice to stop) which I'd hardly even consider extended.

Lots of 'How does he eat, because you were a terrible eater at that age'.. gets my back up a lot that one.

MoelFammau Mon 20-May-13 01:15:42

InLaws: Telling me that DD (2 last week) should've been potty trained months ago. Expressing surprise at the fact it takes 20-30 minutes to put her to bed. DD suffered appalling silent reflux and it still flares up so she likes a nice slow wind down to bed to help her settle.

Own parents: Dad is brilliant. Mum and sisters expressed extreme disapproval that I breastfed DD past 4 months (I carried on to 22mo but didn't tell them). Also they then accused me of child abuse when DD aged 7-8 months chomped through Xmas dinner rather than eating mush. That one really upset me. They literally screamed at me that I was going to kill her. DD sat in the middle sucking on a bit of chicken, oblivious.

DD is a fab eater, DSis's kid (4mo older) still only eats beige mush and crisps. So fuck it. Bt it still hurts, that reaction. I think they still believe I was damn lucky not to have killed her and that I was ridiculously irresponsible. And that thought upsets me a lot.

Heigh ho.

Jenijena Sun 19-May-13 21:32:32

My dad is insistent on assuming my life has been turned upside down and I should have had a dog as it would have been easier. My life is fine of only he'd bothered to notice and since about 6 weeks I've been surprised about how 'me' I feel.

Jenijena Sun 19-May-13 21:31:49

My dad is insistent on assuming my life has been turned upside down and I should have had a dog as it would have been easier. My life is fine of only he'd bothered to notice and since about 6 weeks I've been surprised about how 'me' I feel.

MamaBear17 Sun 19-May-13 21:22:39

My MIL insists I should give DD exactly what she wants all of the time to keep her happy.

My own mum tells me that if I have another baby I shouldn't even attempt breastfeeding in case I suffer from the same problems as I had this time around because mix feeding probably caused my dd's colic. (I had primary lactation failure - common in first time mothers but your body tends to know what it is doing second time around).

They both seem to know better when it comes to discipline.

However, the important thing is that, whilst I love my parents and inlaws, I can choose to ignore them and often do!

What Parenting have you been given from your own or your DH/DPs Parents that you find really hard to hear?

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