Leaving attached baby

(5 Posts)
opalescent Thu 16-May-13 08:53:43

Really nervous about this. Ds (21wo) is a lovely calm baby, but has gone berserk the last couple of times I left him with anyone else for longer than 1/2 hr. he intently follows me around with his eyes as I move about the house, as if he's afraid I'm going to bolt for the door!
I'm supposed to be going back to work 4 full days a week in 5 weeks time. Paternal grandmother I'd found childcare (god love her), but I just can't imagine how he'll cope with it initially.
I'm supposed to be going out for a couple of hours tonight, over bedtime. I'm nervous that he'll cry and miss me, and dp will get anxious and bedtime will be a disaster.
Please tell me to get a grip, and reassure me that ds will get used to being without me please also verbally slap me round the face, and insist that I don't cancel tonight!!

opalescent Thu 16-May-13 08:54:50

Paternal grandmother is doing childcare.
No idea what happened there.

Tailtwister Thu 16-May-13 09:39:33

Firstly, yes he will be fine and it's lovely he will be looked after by a family member.

How involved is his Grandmother atm? Will she be caring for him in your home? Bedtime has always been the most tricky time for my DC. Tbh I would try him leaving him for a bit at a time when he's more relaxed (not tired or hungry). Use the next 5 weeks to spend as much time as possible the three of you together. Gradually leave him for short periods, extending the time bit by bit. Eventually build up to a whole morning, then a bit longer until you're getting a full day.

His Grandmother will have different ways of doing things and he needs to adjust to that. Eventually he will settle and the two of them will develop their own little routine.

opalescent Thu 16-May-13 16:23:48

Thankyou so muchsmile
He sees her probably 2-3 times a week, and has done since birth. I'm always there though, and he does continually crane his neck around her to look for me!
She is lovely, and very practical & realistic when it comes to babies, which is reassuring.
I feel so much for mums who don't have the luxury of family providing childcare, it must be so much more stressful if you have to go straight into using a nursery.
I'm going to go out tonight and let dp do bedtime, fingers crossed it all goes smoothly!!

sparklekitty Fri 17-May-13 16:50:12

I have a very attached DD who is almost 8mo. I'm going back to work in 2 weeks and my DM will be looking after her.

We started practicing leaving her with DD a few months ago, the first time I had to come home early as she got so upset! Since then she's been fine. She's been going to DM on the 2 days I will be working but only for a few hours at a time, we've slowly increased this so that she has now had a full day away from me.

I think just try to go slow(ish)and increase the amount of time you're away each time.

Good luck

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