yesterday nursery really upset me. My ds is accident prone and split his chin and I had to take him to hosp Friday pm from nursery. His key worker came with (he's sort of a family friend now my dp has co-opted him). I must admit I have been to hosp so much recently with my kids or bump (accident prone ds, new dd 1month old) I wasn't taking it very seriously. Anyway my ds couldn't keep the dressing on over the next few days and the wound got a bit mashed up.
I was very grateful to nursery however and sent them a glowing reference for their website. That evening the owner took me aside and said 'your son has got NO boundaries.'
Not ' we think your son could benefit from firmer boundaries'.
Your son has got NO boundaries.
She said it was a factor in his accidents and wasn't good for him and would he would have trouble at school. She said he doesn't listen - he only listens when he wants to.
It really shit me up. I know exactly what she's talking about and in a way I m grateful, but it was the way she said it! I even revisited an occasional worry I have that he has ADHD. At the end of nursery he's the only kid running about in reception for example everyone else is standing still.
Cue lots of soul searching. Recently I've been very busy with dd and also we may have been influenced by a certain Guardian article about giving children autonomy with examples of 4yo Inuit kids using knifes to hunt seals.
Deep down me and dp are not very disciplined we are both a bit maverick and not particularly authoritative especially me. I had an awful pg and was very shouty at ds.
I just feel so gutted because I've realised my parenting is going to be judged constantly - I knew this but now it's happened it hurts.
Wierdly ds has picked up thereis something in the air and is staring to behave better
We are sending him to his room and confiscating treasured items but there are the usual problems around aligning what and how DP and I do things.
Anyone else? I feel like I need a parenting course.
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Parenting feedback - ouch - worried about my 4yo ds
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somewherebecomingrain · 15/05/2013 08:19
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