Evaluate my baby's day

(50 Posts)
marshmallow2468 Wed 01-May-13 21:57:03

Good evening,

I've been having a few issues with DS, wondering if you'd be so kind as to look at an average day for us, help me find solutions! 12 week old DS is breastfed, and vaguely in a feeding routine, one that was led by him rather than following a book. He just seems to have got more difficult the last week or two.

6.45am wake up, nappy change
7.00 feed
8.45ish nap (approx 1 hour)
10.00am feed if awake, otherwise feed when he wakes, usually by 10.30
11.30-12.00 nap starts (1hr approx)
1pm feed if awake, or wait to wake and feed then, usually by 1.30
Afternoon he might nap for half an hour max
4pm & 6pm feed
6.30pm inconsolable screaming starts
8.00pm feed, falls asleep on me
10.00pm into sleeping bag, offer another feed, sometimes takes it, sometimes not
10.30pm bed

I'm usually up with him once overnight for a feed. In between the times above he usually plays on play gym, sits in bouncy chair etc. Bath happens before 8pm feed twice a week.

The problems I'm having are the evening crying, becoming more fussy at feeding, and lack of afternoon nap, which I suspect contributes to evening crying. I can read his tired cues in the morning, but they don't happen in the afternoon. I worry he's not sleeping enough. The evening crying is really getting to DH, and he now seems scared of his son.

If you've read all this, thank you! I'm just feeling a bit insecure about my parenting skills right now.

meglet England Wed 01-May-13 22:05:52

It sounds normal to me and I think you're doing a grand job smile.

12 weeks isn't very old and I'm certain DD was still ratty and feeding a lot in the evenings around that time. Her evenings settled down by about 5 months.

missmapp Wed 01-May-13 22:09:51

Sounds great to me- I always used to call 6pm-7pm the witching hour as mine always screamed like mad then ( it was always the time when my mum rang aswell!!)
I used one of those rocking chair things with ds2 and that used to keep him calmer for a while, but ds just used to scream!! It does get better- but I think you are doing fab.

Perhaps put him to bed early say around 6pm. He starts screaming at 6.30pm so I reckon he wants to be asleep but it's too late so he gets overtired then finally crashes.

Fuckwittery Wed 01-May-13 22:10:49

I think the problem is maybe that he's awake for more than 2 hours after the short afternoon nap before going down for the night, Mine always went bolo at such a young age if awake for more than 2 hours.
If I read it right he's waking up from lunch nap st 1 or 1.30
Then afternoon nap is presumably 3-3.30 or 3.30 or 4
He probably needs to be asleep by 6 or at least having super quiet time

Can you stretch out the afternoon nap by having a walk or taking him out in the car then?

If 6pm isn't working for bedtime, maybe another 15 min nap crammed in and a later bedtime?

Sympathies as I remember this evening screaming well and I think I went for 4 short naps in a day and later bed. Your nights sound brilliant though.

Fuckwittery Wed 01-May-13 22:12:28

If the tired cues don't seem to be there in the afternoon, at this age I'd just try to go with the 2 hour awake rule (which he seems to follow in the morning) and try and give him a chance to sleep

babies do have a tendency to scream in the early evening - we used to take turns to walk back and forward carrying them in the house (quite quickly) until they dropped off. We generally did bathtime in the morning at that age - wasn't until they were a bit older and settling better at night that they had bathtime in the evening.

TwentyTinyToes Wed 01-May-13 22:24:51

Looks normal to me. Dd is 16 weeks and we follow a similar pattern (with a lot more night waking). I really struggle with a late afternoon nap for her because by then i am also sorting dinner for my ds. She will often sleep in the sling for a bit, could you try that? Or try the buggy or car? Being overtired at bedtime will contribute to the screaming so try either earlier to bed or to stretch the afternoon nap. The change really quickly at this age, everything is a phase.

Hassled Wed 01-May-13 22:27:09

Colic? Fits in with the pattern of evening inconsolable crying - one of mine had it and it was hideous. And then one day it just stopped - it will happen; hang in there.

Hassled Wed 01-May-13 22:29:34

And the only thing which would calm my colicky baby was getting in the bath with him. It was a lovely lull from the screaming - I'd stay in there as long as I could get away with.

SquidgersMummy Wed 01-May-13 22:31:22

Honestly you are doing brilliantly - my dd had colic - evenings were awful - their guts mature and one day it just gets better. Don't worry re a routine - if it helps and it works fine but its really early days still. And most importantly remember the mummy naps. Or cuddle up for an afternoon nap together - nothing better! smile X

marshmallow2468 Wed 01-May-13 22:32:40

Thanks for your comments. I was thinking of trying an earlier bedtime, maybe doing it gradually might work. He's often uninterested in the 10pm feed so might drop that as a start and work from there.

As for the afternoon/early evening naps, it's tricky. I could try the sling but he changes his mind daily as to whether he likes it. Something definitely needs doing there though to get him more sleep.

Comforting to know the evening screaming is normal though!

SquidgersMummy Wed 01-May-13 22:53:28

Ps - I found my switching to soya milk really helped the colic - worth a go as if it helps its pretty obvious within 24hrs ish. A friend suggested it as helped her chap. Think milk passed on thru breast milk is hard for them to digest. The cheap uht stuff was bearable. When she started weaning I went back onto dairy no problem. Might be worth a go. I looked into Infacol etc - I know some people swear by it but there's no evidence base to it and I didn't find it any help at all. X

marshmallow2468 Thu 02-May-13 08:14:25

Those of you who suggested a 6-7pm bedtime, how does that work logistically? I'm not comfortable with putting DS to sleep in the bedroom alone at that time as per SIDS guidelines. We wouldn't have eaten then. I'm trying to fit everything in so that DS is happy, DH is happy, we get to eat food and have at least a few minutes of conversation.

Bedtime after the 8ish feed might work better, but then I'd worry that he wasn't getting enough food by missing the 10pm feed and would wake up more. I've read that more sleep leads to more sleep, but for some reason I don't believe that!

As another question, does anybody think attempting to re-time some of his feeds might help? That's the routine he fell into, so that's when he's offered a feed. But I reckon the late afternoon/evening feeds could possibly be altered gradually. Maybe. Who knows? I'm just worried I'm getting everything wrong for my family!

TheDetective Thu 02-May-13 08:36:28

Sounds fine to me, but agree that it sounds like he would benefit from an earlier bed time! Some people put their babies to sleep downstairs with them in the evening, and take the moses basket up at bedtime.

I didn't, I put him upstairs with the baby monitor. It depends on what you are comfortable with.

I was happy to do this with regular checks.

I think just put him down at 6ish. He's screaming by 6.30pm so should've been asleep already? You could try a) sling but not guaranteed he'll sleep or b) put him down in a Moses basket and have it near you but shielded e.g behind a chair or something so he's not too disturbed by your movements.

marshmallow2468 Thu 02-May-13 09:27:25

Right, I've decided on a plan of action:

1. Attempt to make afternoon nap longer in the hope of not being exhausted and screamy at 7.
2. Try earlier bedtime. Might do this gradually in the hope of eventually having a reasonable bedtime.

Thanks for all your comments.

teacher123 Thu 02-May-13 13:13:34

I think an earlier bedtime might help. With DS Through lots of trial and error we 'found' his bedtime! It was 5.45pm until he was about 9mo. He is just over a year and we can now stretch it to 6.45 on really special occasions! He has never been able to sleep with lots of distractions, and he refused point blank to settle downstairs with us in the evenings. From about 6 weeks we would bath him at 5.30 and attempt to have him settled by 7pm. I would then eat dinner and go back upstairs and play on the iPad/go to bed/read until bedtime. From about 3mo I would pop in and out of the room all evening, never leaving him longer than about half an hour. Then from about 5mo he was in his own room and generally settled off by 7.

WallaceWindsock Thu 02-May-13 13:37:31

From your posts I think you're doing a great job. However I would suggest that you start waiting for him to demand feeds as opposed to offering them. At this age babies can start to leave bigger gaps between feeds as they take more milk at each feed. Equally they will have times where they have shorter feeds and shorter gaps. This enables them to adjust their own sleep - babies will have stretches of time during the day where they will have a longer stretch of sleep and other times where they are more awake and alert. Going back to basics and feeding on demand for a few days may show that he wants bigger gaps between feeds and therefore sleeps better in the afternoon, or he may want shorter gaps in the morning and then nap better after lunch.

MamaBear17 Thu 02-May-13 19:54:14

I always found a bath helped my colicy dd. I would bath her, then use some lavender oil (the Johnsons one) and do a bit of baby massage. My dd screamed all day though and settled from about 7pm. Good luck; I agree with the others, you are doing a great job!

Fuckwittery Thu 02-May-13 22:42:12

How did your evening go to tonight?

marshmallow2468 Fri 03-May-13 10:32:46

Went quite well, thanks. Good long afternoon nap and no screaming in the evening! He had a bath, and then a feed, and went to bed about 9.30, so a bit earlier than usual and with one less feed. He slept through until 4.30, quick feed and back to bed until 7. So I'll be making a real effort for a good afternoon nap every day, and then make bedtime earlier than normal again.

My eventual aim is for no screaming when we're trying to have dinner, and bed by 8! Then when he's in his own room we'll try and make bedtime earlier again.

ppeatfruit Fri 03-May-13 10:43:07

Maybe try him with a little baby rice and BM ?He could be hungry (he'll soon tell you if he's not grin) DS was cramming his fists in his mouth after BF at 12 weeks and he loved his first solids.

ppeatfruit Fri 03-May-13 10:44:18

He's a very healthy 25 yr. old now BTW!

SecrectFarleysNibbler Fri 03-May-13 22:27:41

My PFB is now 18mths. The first 6 months was like playing a video game - just as you think you have mastered level one and got it down pat - baby moves you all on to level two! New rules, routines, worries ect! And then the next level and the next!!! It seemed to level out at around 6- 8 months. You are only at 12 weeks!!! They are nocturnal for the first 3 months! They love to cry all evening! You HAVE to,adopt the mantra - " this is not forever" ! I look back now and those first weeks are now a distant memory! Go with the flow and do what you need to do for all of you to get through but keep in mind it is only for a short time!!!!!!!

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