Boundary setting for a 1yo?(29 Posts)
DD is going to be one next week. She's wonderful, bright and very mobile (walking for a month or so now). But she thinks the bin and the loo seat are the most delicious things ever. She adores emptying every drawer within reach. She throws her food on the floor with a glint in her eye and giggles when I try to tell her not to.
Originally I just assumed she was a baby and thus there was no point in trying to tell her not to do something because she wouldn't understand. But she does understand! And everyone around me is telling me over and over that I have to set boundaries and be stricter with her
including CC so she sleeps, which I'm still ignoring. But how do you set boundaries for such a little person? I don't want to get cross with her for investigating her surroundings, but I also don't want her to grow up thinking she can do whatever she wants ...
What I currently do is say no loudly when she does something I don't want her to. When she then does it again, I remove her from the situation/room and plonk her down on her playmat with some toys to distract her. This doesn't appear to be working, but maybe I just have to be consistent and keep going?
She throws her food on the floor whatever I do, seemingly. I'd really like her to stop this ... How naive am I being?!
Whatever makes life easier i say. Baby gates, jolly jumper, play pen, bouncer, baby carrier...Baby tv!!! Every parent makes mistakes but you live and learn and then do better...
The choice you make for YOUR family regarding routine, behaviour etc are your choices that you have to live with and has nothing to do with anyone else (in most circumstances).
We won't be ttc #2 until we can afford live in help. That early toddler stage is just...nuts...it's nuts...i don't know how we got through it unscathed tbh!! But we did! Lol now on to terrible two's...bracing myself!
We have no family here to help out so it's been tough! That being said, i have had to rely on my own judgement and feel so much more confident now in my own choices. I think PIL sometimes find it tough to take a step back, but it is so necessary in allowing parents to be confident in their own instinct without double guessing themselves. I wish more PIL would realise this before sticking their beaks in. Anyway sorry! Went off on a bit of a rant there lol. It's also a very precious and rewarding stage and goes too fast! Enjoy x
Sounds to me that you're already using the right techniques to define boundaries. One thing to add though... The food throwing is a phase! DS went through it as well and eventually after a few months grew out of it. I doubt telling him off for it made much of a difference.
Babies and toddlers go through phases, and as they get older they get better at one thing but then do something else. When I read through your post I thought oh I remember all this (DS is nearly 3) but he is not actually doing it any more (has moved on to other annoying things)
Around a year old is a tough stage as they have the desires and impulses of babies but are developing the capabilities of toddlers... All I can say is that things will be different in just a few months' time. I can clearly remember being at a toddler group at snack time when dd was about 13 months, she was tipping her food off the plate, trying to throw herself off the chair head first and leg it, ignoring me completely... Next to her was an 18 month old eating beautifully, responding to her mum and I just thought 'dd will never be like that!' Well, she was, and now at 2 she has so much more sense (where a year ago she was licking the bin, now she can get a tissue, blow her own nose, walk to the bin, put the tissue in and close the lid, then ask to wash her hands). I think you just need patience (lots of) and faith that she will respond and remember far more as she gets older. When dd's understanding was good enough we had a bit more success with 'can you give that to mummy please' or 'please put that back in the cupboard' than 'no' - but dd is a stubborn one, like me, and a direct battle of wills never ends well.
Ah - despite all of the baby proofing - the things that have happened in this house.... DS was about 12 months old when - right infront of DH and DMIL - he pulled a chair right over on himself: I heard the BANG! and the crying and saw the after effects... Then, when DS was 2.5, I entered the living room just as DS nose dived head first over the back of the sofa with DH, DMIL and DFIL all within touching distance. As for the time (DS was 18 months) and he ran down the drive, toppled over, hit his forehead on the concrete, spurted blood out of the hole in his head and I had to take him to A&E to get super glued back together (two hours later he was back home, in his highchair, wolfing down toast and pâté...). No matter how careful you are, things happen... it is part of growing up (especially with adventurous, physical types).
OP - you sound like a brilliant mummy and it is great that you and your DH are now on the same page (makes everything easier and less stressful...). You will be fine: read around, do you research, decide how you want to parent and you will do good
We have been lucky with DS sleeping, but when we had a rough patch (teething - 13 to 19 months) we put a spare single mattress, duvet and pillow on DS's floor, next to his cot. We would take turns (alternate nights) to go in if he cried, then just lie in the make shift bed, holding his hand through the cot bars and shushing/reassuring. That worked very well. Sometimes he wouldn't really go back to sleep and DH/I would stay there and be reasonably rested and probably get some sleep. Other times, if he fell into a deep sleep, we could sneak back to our own bed. Once he stopped teething (19 months) he slept through again straight away. It wasn't ideal or a "miracle cure", but it was gentle and worked for all of us. I believed strongly in "keeping him in his own room so that he felt comfortable and secure there". Tried CC a couple of times (through desperation), but it didn't feel right for us personally (wanted him to feel that we were there for him).
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