Need some advice- sleeping, eating, behaviour.

(4 Posts)
dottyladybug Thu 25-Apr-13 18:18:58

I need advice with everything really. I am not really sure where to start.

My DD is 2 next week and will not sleep through the night, seems to be addicted to milk (at home not at nursery), will hardly eat (probably for all the milk) and screams form the most part of the day (again when at home not at nursery).

obviously my own mistakes have caused this and up until a couple of months ago I just did whatever to try to keep DD happy but I have had enough and I now need to sort this out as we are all miserable (I presume she is from all the screaming).

as soon as we wake up DD cries for milk, I offer food, still cries for milk, I offer another breakfast option, still cries for milk. I give in and give 3oz of milk. DD finishes this milk and asks for more I offer a 3rd breakfast option, she won't eat it. she cries for milk again and I try to ignore it for maybe 20 mins or so but it then give in and give another 3oz of milk.

Mon/Wed/Fri DD is at nursery 9am til 12pm. she doesn't ask for milk here and hasn't for around 4 months. She will always have lots of snack with water.

When not at nursery I always try to fill up the day with park/swimming/local zoo/soft play/out in the garden or for a short walk around our area so DD is not stuck inside and bored but no matter what we do when it gets to about 10am she starts crying for milk again. I offer snack and she won't eat it. I give in and give 30z of milk and then after she will eat about 1/3 of what I have given for snack. I give the sakes sort of snacks she gets at nursery and they always say she ate a lot and asks for more. I even asked then how they cut up the apple (skin on/off, cubes/wedges), and cheese so I could offer exactly the same but she still won't eat it.

At lunch and dinner she hardly eats anything and as breakfast we normally go through 2 options with hardly anything eaten. Straight after lunch DD wants milk. she has around 4oz and goes to sleep. AS SOON as she wakes up we get the crying for milk again I offer snack which she NEVER eats in the afternoon and I again give in and give 3oz of milk. We repeat this after dinner too.

Milk before bed as She won't settle without. Around 11pm she wakes half of the time she settles again without milk the other half she asks for milk and won't settle without. We repeat this at 3-4am and so the day starts again.

All through the day DD cries a large amount of the day, normally just low level whining but 7-10 times it is proper full on screaming. I have been using a time out when this happens but I can't see any improvement in the 3 weeks I have been using it.

I need to sort this out. I am starting to really dislike being a parent. I know it is my own fault and this makes me feel worse, like I have failed my DD. I am starting to think about putting DD in nursery for the two weekday mornings she doesn't go as she is obviously happier there that at home.

I don't know where to start and I am worried DD will be hungry as she won't eat and I stop the milk.

Thanks

MegBusset Thu 25-Apr-13 18:22:39

First of all have you ruled out any health issues? (reflux or intolerance/allergy etc).

mummy2benji Thu 25-Apr-13 22:26:09

My ds1 has had a lot of eating problems following severe reflux and feeding phobia as a baby, so I do sympathise. He didn't even start weaning until he was 15 months, and although he is making steady but slow progress he still has a limited diet at 4 1/2. As a parent you can't help but worry about their food intake, or lack of, but children do continue to grow and develop on poor diets. This is only my suggestion, but I would try meeting her halfway - a bigger bottle of milk first thing and at night before bed, and no milk during the day. If the day is intolerable, possibly 2-3oz after she has eaten her lunch or mid-afternoon. But only if she eats her lunch. I agree that all the milk is probably affecting her appetite and willingness to eat. A bottle morning and night will give her calcium and fluids and be good for her, and will maybe keep her calmer for the morning. It sounds like she isn't getting enough to satisfy her when she gets up, so is continuing to scream and protest. If she has a good sized bottle and satisfies what she wants first thing, she may behave more reasonably afterwards and be a little more receptive to the 'no milk during the day' rule. It'll be hard at first, but you need to stick at it, much like getting rid of a child's dummy. Try not to let her see that you are stressed out if she refuses her snacks or lunch. If you persist for a few days you may find you suddenly start winning. Good luck!

worldcupbaby Fri 26-Apr-13 03:29:22

My dd1 was very attached to her milk and would have picked it over food... we just slowly weaned her off it, offered food instead of milk and didnt back down. Offered her the milk after food instead of before etc It will be hard at first but if u dont back down she will get there eventually x

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