DD1 is feeling left out ! Tips to stop it.

[Angeliz]

hi all.
Well i thought it was all going so well. The girls adore each other. DD1 (5) has been a total star always to dd2 (1) and my concerns about her feeling like this were obliterated when i see how much they adore each other.
I am having another baby in August/Sep and tonight dd burst into tears when i told her off for something very minor. She then went on to say that i never have time for her anymore and that when the new baby comes it will be him, then dd2 , then her!
I think she finds it hard that she is in School all day and dd2 gets to go to the beach/park whatever with me. Today i took her a change of clothes and we all went straight to the beach.

Have told her that just me and her will go to the Cinema over the weekend and then for lunch.

I feel really sad about it. Any tips or advice welcome. Maybe it was all going too well.

[Angeliz]

Will return to this. Baby stirring!

[Posey]

Dd was my only one for 5.5 years and I was very conscious she may feel ousted. She adores her brother who is now 3, and I know she sometimes thinks its unfair that we go off to the zoo or whatever while she's at school.
I do try to make the effort to have time just with her, so she and ds have bedtimes an hour apart. I also try and do say a small shopping trip just with her and then we go to a nice cafe as we did pre-ds. Also dh will take just her to the science museum, her absolute favourite, even when I would love him to take both, just so she can do her thing for a change.
That said, its part of family life having to put up with doing things for others but she knows that, Just keeping on reassuring her, letting her know that you understand how hard it is for her will make a lot of difference I think. As long as she knows you are taking her feelings seroiusly. She sounds like a very nice, clued in child and you sound wonderful. You just want to do all that you can for each of them and sometimes theree is not enough time.

I think I've bleated on enough and don't know how much sense I've made, but hope it helps.

[Angeliz]

Ahh Thanks Posey
It is very hard. It's made me worry more than ever about how number 3 will fit in. Which is actually something i didn't worry about. I feel pretty chilled about the whole thing, love them all but obviously didn't have a clue she was feeling like this.
I will try to make more quality time for her.

[Maddison]

Hi Angeliz

Posey has summed up what I would have written, just wanted to add that I try not to tell my DS1 much about anything that I will be doing while he is at school, that way he doesn't really know if he is missing anything.

[Maddison]

He is also 5 btw

[Posey]

Been pondering this a bit more as I know it is something that bothers us.
Much as I do sympathise with dd, as I said we do have to do things we don't want to. So if she's moaning too much I then point out how much ds gets dragged around for her, taking her to and from friends' houses, swimming lessons, Brownies etc.
Its trying to keep the balance isn't it? Sometimes the scales will go in ones favour then flip the next week.

[Angeliz]

Thanks
I do try not to say too but obviously sometimes she knows.
Just had a chat with DP who agrees we need to keep the balance. I haven't actually done anything just me and dd1 for ages!
Am looking forward to it!