AIBU - husband left 3.5yr old home alone for 10 minutes

[somadaboutthis]

I am so upset. I was working today, our nanny was sick and my husband stayed at home to look after our 3.5yr old twins. They had pre-school in the morning which is just at the end of our road. One of our daughters was sick so she couldn't go. I found out tonight ( from my sick daughter) that husband had left her in the bathroom home alone while he dropped other daughter off at pre-school. She said she was ok and that she sang the 'I'm all alone song' to herself while Daddy was gone. My heart broke. Husband is out at moment. I am SO ANGRY. Why would he do this? He knows how strongly I feel about young children being left alone ( although he seems to think this just some hysterical over protectiveness of mine). He told me when they were babies that he thought it was fine to go to the local shops when they were having a nap at home! He thinks the risks of anything happening are quite low. Maybe true but why take that risk? What if she had choked on her vomit, fallen down stairs, tried to get out house to look for him? She was obviously scared. I thought he was a great Dad but now I don't know how I can trust him to look after them. AIBU to be so upset and angry about this?

[Booboobedoo]

Um, YADNBU.

She sang the 'I'm all alone song'?

I'd be fucking livid.

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

There are no words to express how furious I would be if DH did this.

[Hopeforever]

YANBU

He is acting very irresponsibly and I'm sure there is a law .......

[VinegarDrinker]

I'm one of the most laid back parents I know, but 3.5 yr old left alone? Wtf?

YADNBU

[MortifiedAdams]

I would be absoloutely fucking livid. Put her in a buggy and take her. Irrespective of whether she could have come to any harm at home, he and your dd could have been way-laid, knocked over, etc, and it would have been a heck of a lot longer than ten mins.

I would go ape shit with DH for doing this and it would.put a big question mark.over whether I felt I could trust him.

[Yika]

YANBU. The likelihood of something happening is slim but the consequences if it did could potentially be horrendous.

[MadamGazelleIsMyMum]

YANBU. I'd be furious. If my DH did this I'd be reading the riot act.

[DoesBuggerAll]

If my DW did this I'd be livid. Oh wait, she did.

[lizzie712]

Perhaps ask him what would happen to your child home alone if HE had an accident ?

[fieldfare]

Yanbu at all. What on earth is he thinking??!

[ShootingStarsss]

YANBU I would be furious, what am idiot

[frogwatcher1]

YADNBU. I'm not sure it is even legal? Why did he leave her in the bathroom and not in the lounge or somewhere (not that it would be any better but at least if she was in front of tv she would have been distracted).

[tribpot]

If he didn't fancy the trip out with a sick child, the healthy one needed to stay at home and miss pre-school. Yes, the risks are relatively low, but the consequences are catastrophic.

[DoTheBestThingsInLifeHaveFleas]

I also think there is a law..... I think you have to be 10 to be allowed to be in the house on your own. (I THINK, not 100% but a quick google search might say for definate).
YANBU at all. Anything could have happened to her, or what if DH had an accident. Plus what if she tells one someone else (nursey teacher???) and they are concerned she is being left??? Poor you, I would have been livid too.

[Sirzy]

I would be fuming.

And why leave her in the bathroom where most people have cleaning products and other things that left alone with a 3 year old could do harm with?

I don't see how he can even attempt to justify doing it.

[zippey]

It's only ten minutes and nobody died or got injured. Give the guy a break.

If you're angry don't rant but explain rationally why it wasn't a great thing to do. He will probably agree with you.

[marquesas]

Have you spoken to your husband yet? Is it possible that your daughter has made this up, it sounds unlikely even for the most lax of parents or has he done this sort of thing before?

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

Only 10 minutes?

Yep, 10 minutes to a 3 year old. Singing the all alone song.

I would rant, OP. I would probably throw things and scream as well.

[somadaboutthis]

Wow - thanks for replies. He left her in the bathroom because she had been throwing up and was still feeling sick :-( I just don't know what I can do or say to make him realise how irresponsible this is. We've talked about it before. As far as I know they've never been left alone before - but now I wonder if this has happened before ( when they were too young to tell me about it)

[LadyWidmerpool]

Heaven forbid an angry woman should rant about her endangered child.

[intheshed]

YANBU. My DH left our 3yo home alone watching Peppa Pig once while he popped to the corner shop because 'she didn't want to come' . I read him the riot act and reminded him it is illegal! He thought I was overreacting but he never did it again.

[Sirzy]

The fact she had an alone song made me wonder if she had been left alone before TBH.

I think you need to sit down with him and explain to him just how angry you are (understandbly)

[Arithmeticulous]

What if she was sick while he was out?

[frogwatcher1]

Oh goodness. It gets worse - he left her because she had been throwing up and was still feeling sick !!! Words fail me.

[TheOrchardKeeper]

The law does not set a minimum age at which children can be left alone. However, it is an offence to leave a child alone when doing so puts him or her at risk

Guidelines for children being left at home

That is a quote from the NSPCC site (just googled the law on it and that was the first site that came up...not trying to scaremonger or suggest serious abuse)

It's still walking a fine line though...