Has anyone left DC with GP for a week at 9mo?

(47 Posts)
Cosmo89 Wed 20-Mar-13 10:13:26

We'd booked a family holiday to NYC next week. DS has been very disturbed with SIlent reflux over the past few months (now on meds, getting better) but now has had a succession of illnesses since starting nursery part time. We've all been ill for 3 weeks, and any improvement on sleep gone. We're shattered (as usual) and not shaking off the bugs.

So we are thinking of cancelling the holiday - it's a lot of money to lose but going to NYC and walking him around in the wee hours in some hotel room would be a nightmare. I'm too tired to go out on major expeditions. This has been going on for months and I'm really at a low ebb, now that constant sickness has been added to the mix.

GPs have offered to have DS instead- so we can go and rest too. It's a great offer, but I'm torn. In desperate for a break but would miss him. I worry he's too young. I worry it'll really disturb him - they his mummy and daddy have disappeared. I don't know... I'm worried about everything. I already think he doesn't quite 100% buy into me as his mum (months of Pre diagnosis stresses getting him to sleep, with me in tears much of the time, I think has put him on edge around me ) and I wonder whether it would make it worse.

I don't know. Any advice welcome- did you leave your 9mo for a week? Was it ok?

delilah88 Wed 27-Mar-13 10:37:45

what did you do in the end?

ConstantCraving Fri 22-Mar-13 21:38:26

Depends on the baby and the relationship with the GP. I could have done this with DS, for whom my mum was a second mum. Not with my DD, though, who is a clingy one, who at 3 years has only spent one night away from me. Has your LO stayed at the GP's before alone? If not, probably not a good idea as that will be a huge shock for him - and you won't know how the GP's will cope with the sleepless nights for that long... getting on well for short visits is different to looking after a sick LO for a week.
Also, if you are massively sleep deprived jet lag may not be what you need!

Karoleann Fri 22-Mar-13 21:21:30

I've left all three of mine at that age with grandparents (though not all at the same time). I actually wouldn't want to take an under 2 on a plane, too many germs and their little ears hurt too much.

The were all absolutely fine, your little one won't even remember. DS1 was much more upset with me when I was in hospital having DD when he was 4.9.

I would advise you to go. It sounds likes you really need the break and will benefit from it. If your parents are happy and he is close to them then he will be happy and you will come back refreshed. My dh and I left DD1 with GPs when she was 6 months old for a week. Yes, I missed her, but we had a wonderful and much needed holiday. My mother adored having her for the week, adored looking after her and showing her off to all her friends! For my mother and DD it was really the start of the incredibly close bond that they still have. I left DD2 (with 2 yr old DD1 too) with my mother for 3 nights when she was 3 months old and I was still exclusively bf (much expressing had been done!). DS we only managed a night away for the first time when he was 8 months. My mother adores having the children and they love staying with her but she couldn't cope with all 3 for a week so we never have time on our own for more than1 or 2 nights (rarely). Much as I adore my children time on our own is special. Take this chance, who knows when you might get another, make the most of the week away, he will be fine with beloved GPs and you will get much needed rest.

Branleuse Thu 21-Mar-13 06:34:04

id go and leave the baby if they were already close. if they see the baby a lot its not much different to leaving with a parent

Weissbier Thu 21-Mar-13 06:17:54

This is maybe a daft idea but what about he goes and stays with GOs and you have a holiday at home? If you can get the holiday costs back on insurance you could maybe find a nice hotel somewhere and properly relax, but equally not have the feeling you couldn't get back if anything was badly wrong. A long weekend wouldn't be too much for the GPs and you'd feel like new people.

welshcake30 Thu 21-Mar-13 00:15:19

have only just read that your child has silent reflux and maybe a bit unwell this is rather a different ball game sad you will probabbly drive yourself mad with worry! so would have to maybe agree with delilah x

welshcake30 Thu 21-Mar-13 00:06:18

i would definatley go , i left mine at this age and flew to jamaica ,since then we have left the children every year for two weeks and they have been perfectly fine and im sure we have all certainly felt the benefit of some time apart . you are not just a mum and dad your a couple and sound like you need a break take it with both hands , my children are now 9 and 7 and we will not be leaving them again for some time why? i hear you ask .....belive it or not now is deffinatley the very best time for you to leave them as they arent going anywhere unless their gps are! and that's alote less worry for you , when their older they are busy with after school clubs, social life etc and getting gps to ship them here , there and everywhere is a challenge!and for them to be out and about when your thousands of miles away is an even bigger challenge on your brain ! do it go and enjoy when you return you will be itching to do it again i promise x

Iggly Wed 20-Mar-13 21:09:24

No way. Not a baby with silent reflux (I've had two). The meds don't always work (you can break through episodes eg caused by certain foods).

Your baby needs you - you're his mum. Don't think that he's uneasy around you - he'll be picking up on your stress.

Is he FF? If so, have you looked at hydrolysed formula? Reflux can be triggered by cows milk so normal formula could be making him worse.

As for sleep - you need to tackle it in shifts. DH and I did it so we'd both get 5-6 hours a night in one chunk plus broken sleep. This really helped. As did sleeping in the day.

I'd would take him with you.

blacktreaclecat Wed 20-Mar-13 20:15:17

DS is 9 months too, generally an easy baby but I wouldn't leave him for a week. I would happily leave him for a night or 2. He sees my parents at least 3 times a week so I think he would be fine with them but they would be tired after a couple of days and I would miss him lots!
Hope you do get a break of some sort though, sounds as though you need it!

waterrat Wed 20-Mar-13 20:11:18

I don't think you should leave him - you don't feel comfortable with it, and he isn't sleeping well - I could not leave my 11 month old for a week.

Forget the money side of it - it's spent now and you must do what is right for all of you. I would feel a week is too long for my own child to be without his parents.

You all need a rest - cant you stay with your in laws and have some rest while they help with your son?

You don't want to go to NYC so just let it go !

neontetra Wed 20-Mar-13 20:02:03

I first left dd over night at GP's when she was eight and a half months. Everyone concerned loved it! My MIL does do regular childcare for us, so I felt confident dd would be OK. I personally can't leave her for more than a night at present because I'm bf and pumping all the time etc would just be a faff, plus I'm worried she might self-wean which I don't particularly want right now. But if you don't have these issues, and think you could enjoy yourself and wouldn't be too anxious about it, I'd go for it.

delilah88 Wed 20-Mar-13 19:59:06

Good! I hope my solution works!

Cosmo89 Wed 20-Mar-13 19:55:23

That might work Delilah- thanks for the suggestion. I will look into it - might not be easy, as the week spans the Easter weekend, so shortening it would mean we'd be talking Easter Saturday. But you don't know until you ask do you! Ill call BA tomorrow.

I think I'd feel much better about taking ds if he didn't have this hacking cough (the one that wakes him up). 3 weeks he's had it now. Dr says he's not giving antibiotics as it may (or may not!) be viral. I know that it's best not to take them and build up immunity but seriously? 3weeks?

delilah88 Wed 20-Mar-13 19:40:25

Why don't you change the return flight so you're only going for a weekend to NYC? It won't cost too much to change and NYC 4/5hr flight is not too long for a short break. Then you can leave your child for a shorter time and still go. You can literally just stay in the hotel room, sleep, and order room service! It sounds like you will lose all the money if you just cancel and I think this is a good compromise.

Cosmo89 Wed 20-Mar-13 19:18:21

Sorry, Sally- it's me holding the gun.
If envisaged exactly that holiday you described when we booked it.

We have has months of very little sleep- we are both shattered and, yes, we are both ill. Neither of us have managed to shake a series of bugs which, added to the sleep deprivation, is laying us low. There isn't an issue of excuses-. I was looking forward to the change. But I'm not going to live out our day to day existence over in NYC. Too depressing. So you're off the mark on that one. I can't have the holiday you're talking about - I wish I could.

Jayne266 Wed 20-Mar-13 19:02:57

I wouldn't personally I wouldn't enjoy myself. But has you dc stayed over with GP at all? This might help you feel relaxed if you did want to go.

Sallsaysyes Wed 20-Mar-13 18:43:14

I don't have children so I am inviting people to shoot me down. But I do travel, and it is one of the things that intend to carry on doing if I can have a child.

You will have such a wonderful time in NYC. You will be able to find lots of things to do such as going to nice cafes, walking around Central Park or Chelsea high line. There are lots of areas with small shops/food markets you can explore. You can get some really good books on kids NYC.

I think it sounds like the thing you need MOST is to get away and have some family time. Me and my husband work very long hours, always feel run down and poorly,a holiday is always the best cure. I really think you feeling unwell is a terrible excuse and you are more anxious of the change. Does your husband also not want to go?

I think it is one of those things you will always regret and it sounds like a good excuse to spend some time on your marriage/family depending on what you decide to do with your little one.

You will make some wonderful memories.

ilovepicnmix Wed 20-Mar-13 15:40:47

I wouldnt leave my baby for more than one night, and he's ages with yours. I think I would miss him too much and would feel guilty. That's me though and sometimes I think I've got it wrong as a lot of my friends regularly leave their babies with grandparents to go off and do lovely adult things. Id go with your gut feeling. My worry for you would be that youd get to ny and just want to come home.

Thurlow Wed 20-Mar-13 14:15:48

I think I left DD at about 9mo for 3-4 days with my parents, they all loved it, DD didn't show any signs of being annoyed or upset that we had left her.

I would probably go. It's a lovely offer from your parents. If they're clear on how many night wakings there might be, then they have made the decision to cope with it. I stay at my parents with DD quite often and my parents did the dreamfeeds, night wakings and early mornings (even though it left them shattered by the end of the visit!) because they knew it was for a finite time, and they could sleep for England once DD had left. Your parents might be thinking the same thing too.

I think the only thing that I would want to be sure of first was that, very worst case scenario and your parents aren't coping or your DS is still poorly, you could afford to fly at least you or your DP home.

willyoulistentome Wed 20-Mar-13 14:12:29

Hmm tough one - I'd be loathe to lose out on the price of the holiday, and it's very kind of the GP to offer, but presonally I would not leave a sick baby to go on holiday. He won't remember it later, but I would have thought he is old enough to miss you at the time.

Exhaustipated Wed 20-Mar-13 14:12:04

Could the GPs afford to come with you to NYC? Have the baby in their hotel room some/most of the time?

Or just cancel and do it again at a better time. Perhaps baby could go to GPs for a weekend so you could just rest at home but be close by if needed?

bamboozled Wed 20-Mar-13 14:10:56

Sorry, guess its your DH's parents - but makes no difference -Go, go, go!

bamboozled Wed 20-Mar-13 14:07:41

How lovely of your parents. Yes, go, have a rest and have a fabulous time. Your ds will be spoilt rotten, your parents will love having him and you get a break. It's a no brainier, in my opinion.
I left dd at 7 months as we had to go to Chicago for 6 days and it was the best thing we could have done. I got in such a panic about it, thought she would feel abandoned, I wouldn't enjoy it etc - but it was blissful!!

ubik Wed 20-Mar-13 14:02:07

Do you know...if he is better I would be tempted to go. You and your husband could have time together, sleep, feel like a couple again -this is important when you have a difficult time with a baby and it may help the two if you cope better when you get back.

You will miss him, you really will but it may do you the world of good too. FWIW I had to go away for a week when DD3 was13 months and she shows no obvious signs of harm. When I came home she kind of stared at me for 5 secs then put her arms out and we had a big cuddle. She was fine after that.

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