Do you think you're a good Mum?

[NotMostPeople]

I'm lying in bed MNing after opening some lovely cards from my dc's including one from my 13 year old in which she said her was her friend as well as a great Mum. Before the dc's got up DH was being very sweet saying similar things and I was saying that I don't feel that I deserve the title of good mum.

Mostly because I am not like my sister for example who is the ultimate Cath Kidson Mum who fusses over her dc's, does everything for them. I tend to think that my dc's should tidy their own rooms and take responsibility for getting their things ready for school etc. they are older, the youngest is 10 but I've always brought them up to be independent. The daft thing is I don't do this to make my life easier I do it because I think it's best for them. I still feel that this means I'm not a 'good Mum'. Does anyone give themselves credit for being a good mum or is self doubt a mother thing?

[racingheart]

But isn't that the essence of being a good mum: looking after them in the way that you think will best prepare them for a happy, well-lived adulthood? You sound great to me.

[akaemmafrost]

About 70% of the time. I don't always get it right but I am not afraid to apologise when I get it wrong. I work very hard at it and its honestly the hardest work I have ever done.

[Maat]

I am the opposite of Cath Kidson!

I have always done what I considered to be in the best interests of the DC at the time.

Luckily, they have grown up into lovely young men.

That may or may not be down to my parenting skills (oh, and a bit from DH) but I think I will take the credit anyway.

[EeyoresGloomyPlace]

I wish I was, but most of the time I feel like I'm playing at being a grown up until the real grown up comes along and takes charge.

I love my DDs more than life itself but some days I wonder what they will think of me when they're old enough to see through my silly dancing and realise I'm a big fat fraud.



OP you sound like a great mum, teaching independence and responsibility are two of the most important things you can do for your DCs.

[Wishihadabs]

Just asked Ds, he said yes. :) I try my best (don't we all). I think I might not be the best Mum, but I am the best Mum for my dcs.

[KatyPeril]

I think I'm an amazing mother. Others may not agree but balls to them. I always do my best.

[Maat]

That's a lovely way of looking at it Wish

[JoandMax]

I think overall yes I am. I'm maybe a bit slack in some areas but they're happy, secure, sociable little boys so seems to have worked so far - although only nearly 3 and 5 so plenty of time to mess up!!

DS2 was very poorly his first year and it was extremely stressful but I feel I coped, I got them through and am a better, more patient mother for it. I don't worry about the mess or when they sleep all night or when they potty train or when they read or all the other things friends worry about, I don't sweat the small stuff anymore!

[MomaP]

Being a good mum is the only thing I have confidence in. - sad but true.

I believe I'm a good mum, I believe there are things I could do better, eg more play time, less cleaning but overall I like to think I do my best and my DS (5 y/o) seems more than happy enough.

Not perfect, but my family and friends telling me what a good job I'm doing, bless their hearts and I believe them.

[akaemmafrost]

I don't think that's sad Moma. I will freely say its the most challenging, hardest and rewarding job I have ever done. I hate this "Mums are limited, go out and get a life attitude". I had my dc late and I had loads of jobs before I had them. This is the most worthwhile.

[Pozzled]

Yes, I do. But I've spent a lot of time believing the opposite and have only recently been able to give myself credit for the things I do well.

I don't think I'm amazing, or best mum in the world or anything, mind... But my DCs are very well loved, very secure in this love, we enjoy being together as a family, and I am doing the best job I can to raise them to be confident kind and happy. I'm ok with that.

[MamaBlue4]

I think everyone at some point doubts their own mothering skills. I used to do it and still do it sometimes when I make my own child cry for not giving into him. I think being a mum is more than caring for them and doing everything for them (not that parents who do that aren't great mums), I think being a great mum is being their for your child and learning them how to become independent and learn to do things for themselves, they'll thank you for it one day when they make something of themselves because you taught them that.

My 4 year old does his own room, straightens his own bed and helps with chores - because he wants to help mummy.

I believe I'm a great mum, I give my dc everything they need and within reason, want. I want my dc to know there's a whole world out there to be explored and they aren't gunna be able to explore it if they're stuck to me. I want them to know that money isn't that important and being kind and happy is.

I'm not perfect I shout sometimes, I forget appointments, I give them activities so I can have time to myself and not deal with them for awhile, I discipline them and make them cry but I do what is best for my children and put them first always and that's why I think I'm a bloody brilliant mum.

[noisytoys]

Yes. I used to put myself down all the time but I'm the best mum I can be - DCs can't ask for more than that (and I'm as far from a Cath Kidston mum as you can get)

[LillethTheCat]

Im trying to be a better mum. I dont think Im a bad mum, but Im trying to give my children a little bit more time than before.

My children are happy, healthy, live in a clean ish home, are well fed (apart from when they want biscuits 10 mins before tea) and are well clothed. They couldn't ask for anything more (well apart from DD1 wanting a horse, DS wanting his own private jet and DD2 wanting to play with scissors or anything else that is too high for her to reach) so yes I think Im a good mum, but do believe I could probably do better, which I am trying to do.

[Snog]

Have confidence in your own mothering, OP.
We are aiming for " good enough" and not "perfect"
I am proud to be a good enough mother to my child.
I don't need to judge other people's mothering to feel confidence in my own. There are lots if ways to be a good enough mother.

[AllDirections]

I think I'm a 'good enough' mum. I've often thought that I'm not a good enough mum but then I look at my DC (age 16, 12 and 6) and I realise that I'm better than 'good enough'. I just don't feel it a lot of the time.

I read a statement the other week that said something like 'Behind every great kid is a mum that thinks she's screwing up' I can really identify with that