Do I replace this cuddly toy for ds aged 11?

[TomArchersSausage]

Ok this might be a bit long...

We moved and had a big clear out. Dds were very practical, kept one or two cuddly toys and seemed ready to let the others go. Ds found the whole process very hard. But we were literally submerged in the things and he understood the problem. 3 dc and 10 yrs of cuddly toys: I counted 9 big bin-liners of them!

Clearing them out was a relief because there was never anywhere for them all to go apart from the floor which was horrendously messy.

Ds kept more than dds, but was very good and only kept his favourites. All seemed ok because he still had quite a lot, I even vacuum bagged some of them so he could hang on to more and rotate them. All sorted, or so I thought..

Tonight he was in tears at bedtime, just quietly upset about one in paticular that he wishes he'd kept. This btw is 8 months after the clearout and is the first time he's mentioned it.

We had a chat and a cuddle but I can see it's on his mind. He's a lovely boy, very mature, happy at school, a delight in every way. But he does find it extremely hard to part with things esp things to do with being younger/a baby and cuddly toys in particular. I've even had problems before getting him to part with old clothes he's outgrown Given the chance he can be a terrible hoarder I guess.

Maybe I shouldn't have looked, but I notice the same toy is on Ebay for £20. I just know what dh would say: that ds is coming up for 12, that he'll get over it, that buying it is crazy after going to all the effort of clearing out all the clutter etc etc but he's more practicle about this stuff than me.

If I buy it, I wonder if ds'll be wanting everything he's ever parted with back. We really were drowning in them. I'm pretty laid back re dc/bit of chaos - that's understandable, but oh the mess before the clearout! Neither he, nor I could ever keep them tidied up, there were 100's and the mess made him unable to use his room.

I can't bear for ds to be sad, and yet should I be helping him to let things go or try and replace this for him? I wonder if it's because he's sensing he's growing up, is feeling a bit mixed up about it all and feels he's hanging on to something from a simpler time. Sats and secondary school loom large atm.

I'm absolutely sure all is well at school and with his friends, he's popular, settled and has no friendship problems. He can be a deep thinker though and mulls things over to a great extent.

[Startail]

Buy it!

I still have my bear, slept with me every night until I met DH.

I have a just 12 DD, she still has her sift toys and lots of playmobil.

15y big sister has her soft toys too. No other toys, there never really were, just paint and pastels and knitting and books. Tubs of play doh have been replaced by acrylic paint, but she's still the little girl who has to be messing with something.

[almostanotherday]

Buy it from me too

[almostanotherday]

*its a buy it from me too that should of read!

[TomArchersSausage]

Thanks for your thoughts. Argh! this is a real head/heart dilemma. He's not short of other stuff either btw. We could sell lego back to the factory for eg. Still dithering... I'll see how he is tomorrow.

[Tolly81]

I think see if he mentions it again, and if he does, buy it. If he doesn't, or if he starts talking about another toy, then you know you need to help him move on.

[mummy2benji]

I'm of the buy it camp too! He's old enough that you can say to him before you produce it, "look, you did really well parting with your baby things when we moved, and because of that I've got you one small treat..." He won't expect the other toys back I think. You're not going backwards by replacing all his baby toys and he gets to feel like you valued his hurt at losing this particular one and recognised that it was making him sad and wanted to help.

[TomArchersSausage]

Thanks all! Followed mn's good advice and it's bought. It just arrived and is waiting on his bed. I can't wait till he gets home from school now!

Dh completely understood and immediately said to get it too

[almostanotherday]

[almostanotherday]

What did DS say when he saw it?

[TomArchersSausage]

Over the moon! At first he thought I'd found the original but I explained everything and he's thrilled.

When I tucked him up last night he was cuddling it (it's a big blue 'monster') and this morning when I went to wake him up he was still cuddling it tightly. Def pleased I got it for him.

[Conina]

Aw that's really nice - it's made me smile. I would have wanted him to have it too.

[RubyrooUK]

Oh how lovely. I think if you're his age and you still remember and regret throwing that toy away so many months later, your mum and dad being smart and sensitive enough to get it back for you is just what you need.

[Startail]

Ahh!

I must go to bed and cuddle my big hairy monster ( otherwise known as DH, who has never joined the modern fad of male hair removal )

[RobotHamster]

I remember a bear i had when I was a kid that mysteriously vanished. There must have been plenty of others that had to 'disappear' but this one stuck with me.

So glad you decided to get it.

[lljkk]

Awwwww..
You are soft. I would have proposed that I pay half & he pays half to test whether he really wanted it that bad.

[secretscwirrels]

Awww, I'd have done the same.
11 can be a funny age. DS2 was very emotional at 11 and went through a phase of wanting to be little again. He watched all our old baby videos and got very weepy.
Big gruff 15 now.