Moving to Australia.....

[Helenemjay]

We are currently applying for a visa and are moving to Aussie next year, we have a ds1 who is 5 a ds2 who is 3 and a dd who is 7 months, how big an impact do you think it will have for them, does it not affect them much as they are only young, ds1 has been asking a few questions recently and by the time we go out there he will be just turned 7, is there a good age to make such a large move? has anyone ever made such a big move and had problems with their kids? do i need to prepare them for it sooner or later? any help/info would be very much appreciated xx

[yummimummy]

Hi Helen,
Sorry, I don't have any first hand advice for you re settling the kids in, but can say that I emigrated to Brisbane in 2002 (childless at the time) and love it.
Oz is a great place for families.
I have a few friends who travelled from here to the UK (for year long sabbaticals) with kids of similar ages to yours and they all had a ball and the kids settled in really quickly.
I'm sure you'll find that they will adapt much quicker than you do
Good luck

[Helenemjay]

Thanks yummimummy! im glad you like it there!!! brisbane is also our desired destination, hopefully you are right and they do settle easier!

[suzywong]

hello
I moved to Perth when ds1 was 3.4yrs and ds2 11 mo

TBH it did take ds1 a while to move in. I think it was the huge let down for ds1. We made such a big thing about the move, told him all our things we being sent there from London on a submarine, and b*88er me they blocked the Suez Canal at the time and our things, well his toys and effects, took over 3 months to arrive. Being without his familiar things and without his mates etc etc threw him and I got a lot of bad behaviour in terms of testing my boundaries so be prepared for that.

Of course your oldes child will be in grade 1/pre primary so that will be instant acquaintances and access to toys etc, your other sone may be eligible for Kindergarten and your baby won't know a thing.

So all I can say is play the move down, have a budget to go to a toy shop and stock up and expect a period of 4-6 months to settle

But, once you're settled it's the best place for kids on earth.

[threebob]

Would your 3 year old end up in school in the UK and then be too young for school in Oz and end up back in Kindy? Maybe not as I live in NZ and only have a 3 year old and could be completely wrong - but that would be quite a big impact.

Our next door neighbours have teenagers but their son was peed off at starting secondary school in the UK only to come here and still be at primary school.

[suzywong]

but threebob, the difference between reception in the UK and Kindy down here is only that there is more space to play, where as the gap between secondary and primary is bigger and has more impact.

Kindy here is wonderful, emphasis on play and socialising and being active.

[ghosty]

threebob, I don't get that because my DS is in started Year 2 here in February but most kids his age in the UK are still in Year 1 (until September).

Hi Helenemjay -
We moved to NZ when DS was 2. There was some settling down to be done (tbh it took DS a while) but in the end it was worth it. I think it depends on your children really and what their personalities are. DS had been in pretty much full time nursery in the UK and was then stuck with me with no nursery and a whole new place, new country etc - it did make him very clingy but he is 6 now and is a fab kid and really happy.
If you are going to do it then definitely do it now - my parents shifted a lot when we were kids and it is fine up to a point but once we were teenagers it got hard.
DH and I are always open to opportunities and if some other move happened in the next few years we would do it but I wouldn't want to move my children once they are heading for adolescence and would want them to stay in one high school until they finish.
HTH

[ghosty]

Yeah, agree with suzy - nothing wrong with going from reception to kindy IMO.
My neice is starting full time school in the UK in September 2 weeks after her 4th birthday - if she lived in NZ she would have another whole year of playing and if she went to Oz she would have longer ...

[suzywong]

yes it certainly makes you realise the value of playing. Hello ghosty how are you?
Over here school isn't compulsary til Grade 1 which is the year they turn 6 and 7. So although in WA there are kindy and PP places for every child that wants one you can take them out for as many days as you want.

[ghosty]

I am very well ta suzy
Recovered from your party??

[suzywong]

yes thanks
everyone loved it so I am told. Don't want to see the endless pictures dh took of everyone as I will be scowling with a saggy face like thunder.

[hannahsaunt]

Hi Helenemjay - we did it last year and it has been fab. Like Suzy said though, our ds1 who was 4y10m when we moved went through quite a long spell of "challenging" behaviour which mostly resolved when he started preschool. Beware the system though - prep starts in QLD next year so those who will be 5 before 30 June 2007 (or thereabouts) will do a year of prep (from 1 Jan 07 to 31 Dec 07, entering grade 1 in 2008) and those turning 5 after 30 June won't be eligible to start prep until Jan 08. Shouldn't affect your ds1 but may alter into which grade he slots on arrival. School has been fab for friends all round, likewise kindy with ds2 and the mulititude of fantastic things to which small children can go. Check out kodaly music for children in Brisbane; it's v good. Also gymbaroo.

I found getting their rooms ready asap was v helpful so they knew that this was home from day 1 (or soon thereafter). We talked about the move endlessly to ds1 for at least 9mo in advance and he was very clued up on where we were going and why and what he would be doing and where he would go to school etc - making it all as familiar as possible in advance.

Now we have to do it all in reverse as we leave in 11 weeks Nothing to do with Oz (though TNQ could do with more shopping!) but commitments back home need to be fulfilled. We'll be back though (I hope).

[suzywong]

come to Perth next time HH

[threebob]

See I knew I'd get it wrong! Wouldn't the child be a bit off about going from "school" to "kindy" though? I realise that educationally it doesn't matter, and personally I prefer that they start school later as all evidence seems to point to that being a good thing.

[SueW]

We went to Oz after DD had done a full term in a quite structured nursery - she was 3.9, had learned some words, insisted on reading them in every bedtime story.

Got on plane to Oz, decided she didn't want to read any more. Went to Kinder - 11 hours a week instead of approx 20hr/week. Loved it. Came back to UK into Reception, breezed in, picked up reading like duck to water.

IMO they are fine if you feel good about it and present it accordingly. If you are anxious they will prob pick up on it, leading to more tension all round. Usual stuff really :)

[suzywong]

that's interesting SueW, about the reading.
And another good point about kids picking up on your vibes. Which leads to anothe good point which is - don't neglect your own TLC needs when making such a huge move. It is easy to do the usual mother and partner/wife - and in my case daughter in law as well - role, making sure everyone else is settling in and find and dandy at the expense of your own well being. Because it is stressful, becoming and expat etc etc and as the lynchpin of the family you need to take care of yoursel as if you have a wobble then the repercussions go throughout the family.

That sounds completely drama-queenish and serious, but what I mean is that you should take a step back to review your progress and needs as an immigrant/newbie in your new country and you will be like a fish out of water for a while as it is all so new. So get your partner have dinner dates with you , at home with a takeaway, so you can talk about how you are doing, make some time for yourself away from the kids for a coffee and a haircut and if you feel stressed let him know take your needs in to account as you really won't have anyone else you can offload on and who understands you or knows you closely for a good few months when you arrive.

God that sounds like I'm on the analysts' couch and just yacking lke a burning martyr but I think that low stress for every family member is the best way to help your children settle in.

[SueW]

Yes, yes, yes!

I posted on another thread onight about how DH went out to Oz first and was supposed to find somewhere for us to live but instead i arrived two days before DD's birthday to find us in serviced apt with no aircon in mid-Dec, no plans for Xmas, and shortly afterwards surrounded by noisy Aussie Open officials and fans. Ultimately I said if we had nowhere to live by 31 Jan I was changing my flights from Aug to Jan and coming back to UK.

I had no clue about anything, no contacts, etc. All got better when I got intro'd to DH's colleagues' families (house on fire stuff).

LOL suzywong over haircuts. I spent A$84 every four weeks on having my hair cut (no colour). I get it done in a salon once a year in the UK!!!!

[hannahsaunt]

Suzy's right about looking after yourself - dh really pushed me to get ds2 a daycare slot so that I would have some time (0845 - 1130 once a week) to do whatever - swim, read, drink coffee, leg wax etc just to get a break, keep things in perspective etc. You will be the one that keeps it all going.

Perth; now there's a thought. We have friends in Perth. Dh is listing towards Sydney or Melbourne (it looks like we will have to do 6mo away in 2 years time). Persuade me.

[suzywong]

It's beautiful

The Swan and Canning rivers dominate the place and form a huge ox bow lake on one side and a series of gullies and harbours on the other, and then there's the Ocean.
Perth city has everything you need, and then there's gorgeous Fremantle, the old harbour town, for you more European, hippy laid back approach. Margaret River down south, the vast northern hinterlands to explore. Lots of interesting expat people knocking about. Great schools, cheaper housing than the East, though only just. and it is closer to the UK.

A very civilized 23 degrees and clear skies this fine late autumn day. It's beautiful.

[hex]

We made a move to Australia (Melbourne) 2 years ago and came back after 18 ths. We were lucky because we had both options: staying as permanent residents or returning to full time work, same house in UK. Chose the latter. Why? Well we had a baby out there and wanted to be close to family (I don't know your situation regarding grandparents but it became increasingly important the child-grandparent relationship when we were so far away). Also, the issue of secondary schooling was a big one and (at least where we lived, issues of health care - having to pay for children's prescriptions same price as adults, etc). I have to say though that our dd1 (then 2.5) had absolutely no problems settling in - she is someone who loves change though.) Toys weren't a big problem - there's lots of cheap one dollar shops where you can pick things up - and toy libraries. Besides, the adventure playgrounds are so much better. I was concerned to get her into some kind of playgroup/kinder and this helped enormously (for me too in getting to know other people). Australians are incredibly open and friendly and you will have no problem making friends. Food and wine were better. But there is not the welfare state history and people are expected to fend for themselves more. Lots manage it perfectly successfully - and others don't. I found Australia fairly atrocious on things like disability rights, and some forms of racism seem to be more explicitly articulated (found this odd because Melbourne was very multicultural in lots of respects). I think your kids will be fine but moving and getting to know new systems (tax, eductaion, health, utility services, banks - where youpay for everything!) is stressful and takes time.

[eidsvold]

How did I miss this....

We moved to Aus ( well home for me) when dd1 was almsot 2 and dd2 was 19 weeks in utero. Dd1 took to it like nothing.... she did not really know my family - had only met them once. She loved being able to get out and about more ( due to weather) even though we arrived in winter. We got dd1's room sorted pretty much first and that helped. ALthough she is pretty flexible and was happy as long as dh and I were there.

Going to playgroup and things like that helped settle us in - most of my friends were still working or had moved to other cities so in essence I had to start again.

On the whole the Oz lifestyle is very family friendly and lots of outdorr open play space, opportunities to do great things.

Sorry jsut saw that you are hoping to come to Brisbane.

For your 3yo - they will be eligible to attend kindergarten

\link{http://www.candk.asn.au/\here}

\link{http://education.qld.gov.au/\school info}

\link{http://www.ourbrisbane.com/\brisbane info}

hope that helps.

[Helenemjay]

Wow thanks everyone! well as far as my family go my sister and her dh and their 2 small kids (her ds is 3 and her dd is almost 1) have also decided to go out there at the same time as us (or as close as poss) and my brother is also hoping too, my aunt has a very good friend in melbourne and is hoping to go and live with him when her kids are a little older! the only person that insists she will not go is my lovely mum and step dad we are very very very close and see each other every day and chat on the phone txt several times a day and so if she doesnt go i will be so sad, she is almost 70 and health problems will definately stop her flying out their more than once so it would be a firm goodbye pretty much if she did stay here as for schools im lucky as my kids are really quite flexible and there isnt much that really bothers them although we have never moved to the other side of the world before [terrified emoticon!] the only other thing that bothers me is my indescribable fear of spiders [shudder] the moment i step off that plane i will make sure i am armed with mega-strength instant death bug killer 24/7 i may even learn to sleep with my eyes open just in case [bbrrrrr]

[robinpud]

Interesting discussion. Dh is going to be working for a year in central Sydney so we are busy planning it all, where to go for a holiday first etc. Ours is pretty straight forward as we have accmomdation in place. we know we are only there for a year so don't plan on telling the kids unitl the autumn, we go in dEcember. THey need to settle into school here and to have a resonable understanding of the time scale involved.

[sunnydelight]

I'm totally with you on the spiders Helenemjay. I posted yesterday on the travel section as we're hoping to move to Sydney within the year, but I really need to get my head around the spiders. Ironically my arachnaphobia made me postpone my trip to Oz 16 years ago for six months, and when I did go I met (future) DH at a party. If I had gone when I should have we would never have met!!!! Still terrified of spiders though.

[eidsvold]

look I never saw a redback until Christmas 2004 - poor dh - he found it in the girls pool which was being brought out for the kids to play in.. He comes to ask me if the ones with a red back are poisonous!!! D'uh - well they won't kill adults but can kill wee ones ... but really they are in dark horrid places and have certain times of the years they are about. Not sure about the old funnelwebs though

[eidsvold]

lived here my whole life ( - 4yrs in the UK)