Why am I the only parent I see carrying a screaming toddler?

(55 Posts)
NuzzleMyScratch Sat 09-Feb-13 20:21:21

DS is just 2. He likes to go walking which is great. My rules are that he must hold my hand if we are walking along a main road, crossing any road, and at any other time I see fit.

Most of the time he's happy to oblige but sometimes refuses, if there's something very interesting he wants to get to (like a bus or horse across the road) or if his interpretation when he should hold my hand doesn't match mine!

My tactics are that I will ask him to hold my hand, tell him if he doesn't hold it I'm going to pick him up, and then pick him up, screaming and kicking.

I see no one else doing this! Am I alone?

QTPie Mon 11-Feb-13 16:17:51

I go there occassionally.... DS NORMALLY good, but has his moments. Unfortunately he likes being carried (at just 3), so I go for the "undignified, sack of potatoes carry style" (so he doesn't see being carried as a good thing). Normally a few "are you ready to walk and hold my hand now?" along the way make him rethink ;)

BertieBotts Mon 11-Feb-13 13:23:29

Although pre-warning was very helpful. Before you even get in sight of the road saying "there's a big road coming up soon and I need you to hold my hand" seemed to work for DS 95% of the time.

BertieBotts Mon 11-Feb-13 13:21:41

I had exactly the same rules! Hold hands or be carried/go in the buggy.

The worst one was when he would hold hands happily for the first half of the road and then suddenly go floppy and I'd be manhandling the buggy with the other hand so would have to carry him by his wrist to the other side of the road hmm

I've seen loads of parents carry their DC across a road if they won't hold hands, though. Especially screaming ones!

gourd Mon 11-Feb-13 13:15:41

Heh heh! Normal! I usually ignore/say well, mummy's going to the cafe now to eat cake" or whatever and shouty-floppy girl will get up fom the ground and follow me. She usually has a "moment" or two every time we go out but luckily they only last a minute or two as long as I dont interfere or try to reason with her. Just carry on as usual or say I'm going now or look at that, and she stops. Distraction often still works with ours at nearly two and a half, though not always. The promise of going on a ride (I dont put any money in) when we are out at the shopping centre also stops any moment she may be having - she just gets up and goes towards the ride (I point to one that is in the direction we need to go!). Being tired or hungry doesn't help (and that's just me!) and having snacks in the bag seems to help avoid a lot of tantrums, but carrying her when she gets tired is becoming more and more unpleasant for both of us due to her imense weight, so more and more lately we have to sit down on a bench or in a cafe for a rest instead.

UniS Sun 10-Feb-13 23:14:37

You are not alone, we have thankfully grown up past that stage. I used to sling DS over my shoulder like a sack of spuds if I needed to remove him screaming from some where.

PickledInAPearTree Sun 10-Feb-13 23:09:52

The best thing about the little life ones is that incredibly cruel little rain hood inside it. Hlarious!

notcitrus Sun 10-Feb-13 23:04:29

I couldn't carry ds - so had to take a buggy 'for my bag' just in case for ages! The little life backpack worked in the sense that he hated it so would walk rather than wear it.
He wasn't a runner, thankfully. But rapidly decided tantrums were way too much like hard work so would just lie down on the ground...
Now 4 he will let me drag him but scream while it happens. Suspect dd may be a runner so she's getting reins as soon as she can toddle.

nappyaddict Sun 10-Feb-13 21:07:34

Convert Oh I'm near Stourbridge if you know it?

cranverry Sun 10-Feb-13 15:20:22

Oh definitely no alone. The other day I had to carry my 2 year old out a book shop screaming. I also had my 11 month old in a baby carrier at the time and she was most bemused.

Leo35 Sun 10-Feb-13 14:22:57

Could you let him carry the backpack and use reins as well?! So many familiar scenarios on this thread - particularly that this doesn't stops at 2.5, or 3 but keeps on rolling. Perhaps less frequently, but enough to keep you on your toes!

I can't wait for September and Reception to start. Four long years of being constantly vigilant with DS2 have taken their toll....

Convert Sun 10-Feb-13 14:01:46

I'm near stafford nappyaddict

nappyaddict Sun 10-Feb-13 10:30:02

Convert Where in the Midlands are you?

NuzzleMyScratch Sun 10-Feb-13 10:23:35

Thank you everyone, I've loved reading your tales of torture! DS has a backpack, but he'll only carry it by the handle, refuses to wear it....

TepidCoffee Sat 09-Feb-13 23:46:14

Our Little Life backpack has been an absolute lifesaver with this - my DS absolutely refuses to hold my hand ever, unless he's dragging me somewhere to the telly

He hated normal reins, but doesn't seem to notice the backpack at all.

He did spend an hour on the train shouting at every other train we went past as we travelled via the busiest station in the UK the other day, though. Even the tenth train in so many minutes. And the twentieth train...you get the picture [knackered emoticon].

MiniEggsinJanuary Sat 09-Feb-13 23:42:45

Of course you're not alone, OP! We never see each other as we are deafened by the screaming! I once had to pick one of my DC up and carry him out of the toy department with his arms flailing and legs kicking. As DH held other DCs and lift door, DS managed to punch be across the face (accidentally) and all I heard was a man saying "ooh - bet that hurt". Felt like saying that I could get DS to punch him too if he was so interested!

trikken Sat 09-Feb-13 23:38:28

my three year old is a bolter and screams she wants to be carried instead of walk. I have 6 yr old ds who isnt well behaved when walking too. I find the school run a nightmare most days.

steppemum Sat 09-Feb-13 23:37:45

only reason you haven't seen me is that mine are past the toddler phase!

Startail Sat 09-Feb-13 23:34:37

No screaming, DD1 was just firmly strapped into walking reins the second she left her car seat.

She's only still alive because she instinctively knew roads were dangerous.

Never ever would she hold hands. She's more likely at 15 to hold hands than she was at two.

FrantasticO Sat 09-Feb-13 23:32:31

You are def not alone!
Other parents like me are frog marching their children to the car...or debating why the two older siblings are NOT to wear makeup being that they are 4 and 8
All good, return to manhandling toddler.
At ease.

ledkr Sat 09-Feb-13 23:26:07

Yes pickled babyators hehe

PickledInAPearTree Sat 09-Feb-13 23:25:54

Toddlers are so bloody weird!

wiltingfast Sat 09-Feb-13 23:23:32

Did you not see me in the play centre earlier today carrying my screaming almost 2yo under my arm while speaking to my screaming 3yo in (what I hoped was) a very firm but calm voice?

We did later all manage to cross the road holding hands...

MerryCouthyMows Sat 09-Feb-13 23:18:47

Because you are too busy carrying a screaming thrashing toddler to notice all the rest of us doing the sane thing? grin

I can assure you you are not alone. 3/4 of my DC's regularly ended up being carried kicking and screaming away from wherever I was.

The fourth one decided not to 'do' the terrible two's at 2yo. Or 3yo. No, he waited till he was 4yo to start the terrible two's. Try carrying an angry ball of rage that is twice the size of an average two year old!

(In his defence, he has SN's and severe GDD, so developmentally at 4yo, he probably was at a 2yo's level - he didn't take his first steps till 3y7m, or say his first word till 3y6m.)

But still, he lulled me into a false sense of security and made me think that he was just going to skip that stage, and then BAM! There we go with the incandescent rage over a cutted up banana...

Yika Sat 09-Feb-13 23:08:58

Oh, I'm so glad I saw this thread! No way can I let go of dd, 28 months. She bolted when going through security on a weekend trip last week, under the security conveyor belt to where I couldn't reach her. She laughed. But I had the last laugh cos then I mercilessly strapped her, screaming and kicking, in the pushchair till we got to our seats.

PickledInAPearTree Sat 09-Feb-13 23:04:18

Jesus no!

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