Crying buckets over breastfeeding 6 day old. Help!

(74 Posts)
u32ng Thu 07-Feb-13 20:05:33

So I had my beautiful boy on Friday but didn't get out of hospital until Tuesday because of problems with feeding (trouble getting latched; having to express; topping up with formula).

I used nipple shields at first which helped him latch but not very well I don't think as my nipples were getting mashed flat after feeding. So decided to stop using them & had many a power struggle to get him to latch without. Managed it but each feed still starts of with a struggle as he cries his head off & goes a bit frantic. Then when he does latch it is shallow (nipple looks a teeny bit mashed when finished) & he tends to get sleepy.

I am crying SO much over this as his hungry cries really upset me, and make me feel I'm not providing. He usually cries not long after feeding & has to be cup fed formula. I am also worried that my milk supply is not being built up properly as my breasts still feel very soft after the last feed.

I just don't know how to get him to latch properly (and I do know all about the 'nose to nipple' thing etc) & make sure my milk doesn't dry up.

Help! grin(

Floweryhat Thu 07-Feb-13 20:07:38

You need rl help. Please call the national breastfeeding helpline on 0300 100 0212. They'll be able to help and won't mind if you cry. Huge hugs to you smile

Piemother Thu 07-Feb-13 20:10:05

We can be kind and supportive bit what we can't see we can't help with. You need to go to a latch on group tomorrow my love and have a feed observed. They are usually at childrens centres or ask your HV. I implore you to go tomorrow x

scratchandsniff Thu 07-Feb-13 20:19:15

For something that feels as if it should come naturally It's bloody hard work. It takes practice. It took about 6 weeks for me to feel like I had got the hang of it, and for baby too. Ask your HV to watch you feed and check the latch. Also second breasfeeding helpline or la leche league. If you haven't already get some lansinoh to rub on your nips. It's a lifesaver when you hit the cracked nipples stage. It does get easier, I promise. In a few months you'll be posting advice to someone else on here. Good luck and congrats.

PoppyWearer Thu 07-Feb-13 20:22:28

Congratulations on your baby boy!

Please go and get some help IRL. Perhaps he has a tongue tie or you have a nipple inversion that could be causing the problems. Good luck!

needsadviceplease Thu 07-Feb-13 20:23:04

Congrats on new arrival. Has baby been checked for tongue tie? Get him checked again and again and again - it can often be a cause of exactly the difficulties you're having. Good luck.

pooka Thu 07-Feb-13 20:23:15

go on www.kellymom.com too.

Loads of info.

FWIW - with all of mine, my boobs were occasionally soft after feeds. Noticeably (i.e. if dc only had one side, one would be hard, one soft).

The best way to make sure supply is being built up is to take to your bed with you lovely baby and just feed as often as possible. I'm no expert (so definitely contact an expert i.e. NCT breastfeeding helpline/LLL) but I wonder whether the cup feeding is complicating things? I dunno though...

Maybe Im a useless specimen of a woman, but I just put mine on formula.

Meh, babies were happy, I was happy. Job done.

Flossish Thu 07-Feb-13 20:26:48

Oh, what a sad post.

As others have said you need some rl help.

La leche league can be called for prompt help, or email which might be slower but you might prefer.

Is your midwife any help??

needsadviceplease Thu 07-Feb-13 20:26:55

And for tonight (ie before you can get any RL support) - keep him close, unlimited access to the breast (if you can bear it - I remember the gaps between feeds being cherished relief...) - both of you stripped off doing skin to skin if your house is warm enough. Olive oil can be soothing if you haven't got any lansinoh in.

Bf can be so hard at first - well done for coming so far.

pixi2 Thu 07-Feb-13 20:27:28

Get some help, in the meantime, make sure you are calm before a feed. Be somewhere comfortable. I used to feed on my side on the bed with dc/dd next to me on their side chanting tummy to tummy nipple to nose, nipple to nose.

It took me awhile to figure out how to feed in different places and positions but we got there. Ds had trouble feeding as he had oral thrush from my antibiotics.

pooka Thu 07-Feb-13 20:27:32

Not a useless specimen of a woman MFG.

But not very helpful. Rather snide.

MortifiedAdams Thu 07-Feb-13 20:28:44

I did a monkeyfacegrace too

Why snide?

I didnt want to waste the.first few weeks of my babies life being miserable, so I gave up within a few days and hit the formula. For me it made life so much easier.

No doctor in the land has.asked how my kids were fed for their first 6 months, hence Im a bit 'meh' over the whole thing.

If you can bf easily great, if not, dont stress over it.

Lafaminute Thu 07-Feb-13 20:34:46

FWIW I got very sick when my baby was 4 weeks old - probably better established than yours at that stage- and he was immediately given bottles (various types of whatever formula) by various other people who helped care for him til I got better - about 4 days: prior to this I had been of the opinion of breast ONLY. Well, he survived the rude introduction to the bottle and we continued a mish-mash of bottle and boob for 15 months. I wish I had been told from day one that mixing bottle and breast can work and breast and formula also work together - in my experience. When you are getting advice from la leche or whomever, bear this in mind.

girliefriend Thu 07-Feb-13 20:35:15

I don't think that was snide but rather to make op feel o.kay if she can't bf and has to ff, it isn't the end of the world even though at the time it can feel like it.

Agree with post which encouraged lots of skin to skin, def get rl support and try not to feel like this means it isn't going to work. It is still very early days, for one reason and another I had a mix feed dd from birth and was able to eventually go onto exclusive bfing.

Don't give up and congrats smile

Floweryhat Thu 07-Feb-13 20:37:43

The helpline number I gave is open for alost another hour tonight. You (or dh) can call now.

SirBoobAlot Thu 07-Feb-13 20:38:42

Skin to skin, lots of it, and get real life help ASAP. Peer support group, specialist midwife, breast feeding counsellor. Call the LLL or the ABM.

SirBoobAlot Thu 07-Feb-13 20:42:10

Also, try feeding in the bath if he is getting stressed as the water can soothe them. Get him checked for TT, and have your latch checked. Watch out for the early hunger signs.

Try and keep calm, don't stress too much.

PreciousPuddleduck Thu 07-Feb-13 20:42:56

You are doing so well, you have brought a little miracle into this world. I know how hard it is at this stage. Get the help suggested above but if you're still struggling and it is making you miserable then do consider formula. My 9 mo DD was FF and is doing so well, happy, well grown, loves her food and sitting next to me giggling whilst her Daddy tickles her. Yes, breast is best but its not the end of the world if its now working for you on his occasion. Enjoy your baby and all the newborn cuddles. (Hugs)

drjohnsonscat Thu 07-Feb-13 20:44:28

The only difference between you, OP, and me is that I was sobbing over breastfeeding my six day old six years ago! Your post brought it all back and I posted in desperation on another parenting site and got told "seek advice" so I did. It took a while and in the end what really helped was having a really lovely breastfeeding consultant come to the house every day for a few days to show me different holds. I did go to the clubs and stuff but having the one-to-one support really helped. She put me on all sorts of funny herbal teas made out of cumin seeds or somesuch and I did get there in the end.

Poor you - it really is the last thing that new mums should go through when they've just been put through the wringer by childbirth and no sleep. But just know that it's very common and there is help out there.

katekins Thu 07-Feb-13 20:50:16

I breasted my five with varying success . A couple of tips I found helpful massaging under babies tounge gently with a curved index finger can help a slight tounge tie, when I latched them on their bottom lip was at the bottom of the areole and let them sort of POP the nipple in so that there's more breast at bottom of nipple in babies mouth than top, and wake baby if you know he's due to wake for feed so he's still relaxed . Hope things improve for you try to relax . Good luck x

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Thu 07-Feb-13 20:51:16

No other advice to offer, as lots has been given - I hope you give the helpline a call.

Just to let you know that I too struggled initially, but with support I managed to get through and DD and I both learned how to do it (it doesn't come naturally even though we tell ourselves it should).

You are not alone, you are doing nothing wrong - they (babies) don't come with a manual and nor do boobs (be useless if they did as babies unable to read wink )

Get some support, try again and see how it goes.

Don't beat yourself up though - you are doing brilliantly.

JiltedJohnsJulie Thu 07-Feb-13 20:52:11

u32 please call the MWs. They are there to help you, so please don't worry about calling them. They need to watch you do a whole feed. I think asking them to check Lo for tongue tie would be a really good idea even if Lo has already been checked, its really easy to miss.

For sone reason I can't do links from youtube at the mo, but try googling youtube dr jack Newman latch. A couple of useful videos should come up smile

If you feel like you need sone additional support after talking to the MWs call one of the bfing helplines here.

Hth

Anchorwoman Thu 07-Feb-13 20:52:28

Oh gosh it's so hard isn't it? RL help from LLL or similar asap might make all the difference. And it might not. If it doesn't and you end up formula feeding then please please don't feel bad. I lasted 6 days bfing DC1 struggling terribly with v little help. With DC2 I had masses and masses of help and support and was formula feeding after 3 increasingly hard weeks. Give yourself permission to take things as they come and enjoy your new baby.

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