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What is a nice age gap.....

37 replies

mum2sam · 24/04/2006 22:20

Im feeling broody again ds is 18mths and a very active child lets just say he keeps me busy Grin. I would like to have another child at some point so ds and the nb will be close as they get older. What would you say would be a nice age gap??

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Imafairy · 25/04/2006 09:20

Mum2sam - in my experience EVERY age gap seems to be a good one (at least according to the Mums ). There will be 2.75 years between my two, which for me is great - DS is old enough to have some idea of what's going on, and we have been able to devote lots of time to his 'firsts' and watching him grow into a little boy. I have a friend who has less than a year between hers, another who has 4 years between hers, and both love their gaps.
I guess that doesn't really help you at all, does it? Wink

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lockets · 25/04/2006 09:23

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crazydazy · 25/04/2006 09:28

There is 2 years 4 months between my two and tbh I found it hard as really DD was still very young when we had DS, she was still a baby herself but felt as though she was cheated out of her babyhood in a way. I wanted to leave about 4 years between my two but fate decided differently.

Its great now though as they are 6 and almost 4 and play wonderfully when they are outdoors, they also fight like mad but the good outweighs the bad so now I am glad it happened that way.

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robin3 · 25/04/2006 09:30

Crickey Lockets, you're a very brave lady.

I'm more of a coward....there will be 2yrs 6 months between DS1 and DS2 and in the past few months DS1 has become so much more self-sufficient and communicative which I hope will really help us all when baby arrives. DS1 is also out of nappies now and likes to help change other babies nappies etc. He also has a whole load more attitude but then he's two!

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sunnydelight · 26/04/2006 14:18

4-5 years in my opinion, but it doesnt sound like that is going to work for you Grin

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Xavielli · 26/04/2006 14:52

I've just had baby no2 and DS is only 16months old. It's a lovely age gap. Not possible for you though obviously!

Personally I think you should go for it, your family will cope with a new addition whatever the age gap between siblings is. I think it depends on the disposition of the eldest child as to whether or not there will be any jealousy. I do think it is a good idea to have them close together as baby 1 will never remember baby 2 not being there!

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izzybiz · 27/04/2006 15:43

i have 11 years between mine and it worked perfectly.

i dont suppose you want to wait quite that long though!!

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poppiesinaline · 27/04/2006 16:07

short gaps and long gaps both have pros and cons. Only you can decide what would work best for you. Dont have a small age gap though just so the kids will 'get on'. Whether siblings are close or not (whether when kids or adults) is due to personality mostly not age gap IMO.

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matnanplus · 27/04/2006 16:35

It is personal but i have worked for many families who have a small gap with 16-24 months between children and it has worked great.

I find the 16-18 month gap great as as they grow they are friends and days out with 2 children and 1 adult are fab as both can do so much together where as a 3 year gap means a tough time planning a daytrip both can equally get fun from

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SenoraPostrophe · 27/04/2006 16:36

yep - a 19 month gap def works, but is blimmin hard work. i'm hoping a 2.5 yr gap will be easier!

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Cadmum · 27/04/2006 16:39

We have 2,3 and now 4 year gaps. I used to be convinced that 2 was ideal but now that the gaps are surrounded by amazing, real people, I think that the actual gap is less important. Sometimes you don't get to choose... (Having had 3 late miscarriages, I am delighted with the children that we have.)

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Nemo1977 · 27/04/2006 16:39

2.2yrs between ds and dd and it has worked very well for us. Looking at starting ti ttc again soonish but dd is only 4mths so will be very small gap. Like lockets would like mine all close together etc.

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bubblepop · 27/04/2006 18:37

3 year gap is nice

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Twiglett · 27/04/2006 18:39

3 years .. great and fairly easy

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JoolsToo · 27/04/2006 18:42

it doesn't really matter does it?
you have a baby, you love it, ones you waited years for, happy accidents, 1 year, 2 years whatever - que sera Smile

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desperateSCOUSEwife · 27/04/2006 18:43

agree jools
it doesnt matter
as they come and then leave homeSad

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JoolsToo · 27/04/2006 18:49

dSw without a Grin! not allowed!

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Angeliz · 27/04/2006 19:11

DD1 tuened 4 3 days after i gave Birth to dd2.
That age gap has worked wonderfully. They adore each other and there have been no problems at all.
There will be a 17 month age gap between dd2 and new baby and that scares me a little but i'm looking forward to it. I haven't really worked out age gaps either time, just when it felt right and we wanted another.

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Angeliz · 27/04/2006 19:12

Just to clarify, dd1 had her 4th Birthday 3 days after i gave Birth to dd2.

I must learn to type!!!

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notasheep · 27/04/2006 19:27

cant really plan our age gaps can we?

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rarrie · 27/04/2006 21:19

I wanted a 3 year age gap. I figure that DD has had her babyhood, and will now be old enough to be a good big sister and nursery fees will be reduced by the time DC2 starts.

I'm lucky that I was able to plan it exactly - Got pregnant first month trying with both of mine, and I planned it so they are both born in Nov. (If DC2 comes within 2 weeks either side of the due date). I think I'm very lucky to be able to do that though!

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mum2sam · 27/04/2006 21:30

I have a 9 year age gap between me and my brother with me being the younger and i cant say we are very close. I would have another baby now but ds is a pain in the butt at night time so i may plan it for when ds is due to start nursery.

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Xavielli · 27/04/2006 21:44

There are 15 years between me and my eldest brother, 13 years between me and my sister and 2 years between me and my other brother.

We are all really close... just goes to prove that its nothing to do with age really... just the disposition of the siblings.

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pebblemum · 27/04/2006 22:10

I have a 6yr gap between my two boys. At first it was a blessing as ds1 was old enough to understand what having a baby would mean ie sleepless nights and he was able to play an active role in helping me with ds2. Now though the age gap is a pain as they both like different things. If we plan a day out ds1 (9yrs)wants to go to theme parks and ds2 (2.7)wants to be able to run around. The same goes when we are on holiday, it is hard finding things to amuse both without dh and I having to take one boy each. The plus side of the age gap is ds1 looks after ds2, he is very protective and when they arent arguing like cat and dog they are very loving to each other.

It would have been nice if there was less of a gap but that couldnt be helped unless i had an immaculate conceptionGrin I think no one can say when you should have another baby, only you knows when the time feels right. Also age gaps dont determine how close the siblings are. There is 12yrs between me and my big sister and 8yrs with my big brother. I am closer to my sister even though she left home when i was 5 and my brother was still there when i was 14

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Chuffed · 30/04/2006 10:52

I have 21mths between my two and ds is only 4mths old. Agree with those that say very little jealousy, and hopefully they will get on, if not they will at least be in the same age group for doing things on the same wavelength.
I wanted a small gap and if we have another want another small gap, I had 6yrs between myself and sister and can only really remember the negatives of growing up, always being told to be quiet when she was having her afternoon nap, being able to do things that much earlier than you were allowed to after you waited for so long. We are quite close now but it took until she became older and then there didn't seem so much of an age gap. So I wanted different but often you can't choose so agree with Jools in that if you have 2 beautiful children no matter what the age gap it will end up being the right one for you.

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