wwyd - ds pushed (fully clothed) in pool by other kid

(203 Posts)
duplotractor Sun 27-Jan-13 09:16:25

we are on holiday and I'd been for a swim in the hotel pool with my ds1. After we'd finished I was tidying uo and my ds was waiting for me - quite near the edge of the pool but he is sensible and I had my eyes on him the whole time.

Suddenly a boy - aged about 6/7- raced up and pushed ds in. I rushed in fully clothed to pull him out. I wasn't out of my depth but 2yo ds most defintely was. It was horrifying seeing my child submerged in the water.

My son was not surprisingly hysterical when I pulled him out and coughing etc.

The dad of the boy picked up his son and started hurrying away sort of poking his boy in the cheek as he went. I shouted after them "you could have killed my son". But they were hurrying fast and I wasn't really trying to catch them anyway.

Lots of people from around the pool were watching and staff came hurrying forward (obviously not wanting a scene). Suggested going to the indoor changing rooms to dry off and carried our bags for us. We were both soaking wet.

I just feel really traumatised and shaken by it now. Should I have remonstrated more with the boy/his dad or conplained to the pool attendants?? They obviously knoow what happened but should I have made more of a fuss.

WhereMyMilk Sun 27-Jan-13 10:22:17

HDee-you wouldn't apologise...seriously?

At best, poor manners. What do you think that teaches your children? That you can behave how you like with no consequences? An apology was necessary IMO but there again, I try to teach my children the right way to treat others...

5madthings Sun 27-Jan-13 10:22:38

We have no idea that the boy is poorly brought up!!! Even the best behaved children do things that are out if character and I doubt they can ban him. If it were my son I would not allow him in the pool for a day or two and he would be punished.

I have five children and some of mine have been very sensible toddlers but they can still slip and fall.mine sit down next to me away from the pool when I am sorting stuff.

I don't care how sensible a toddler is I wouldn't let them stand by the side of a pool unless they were holding my hand.

mercibucket Sun 27-Jan-13 10:33:54

Of course a hotel can ban people from using their facilities if they go round pushing fully clothed people into the pool. It's more a question of if they know who he is, in a large hotel complex obviously they wouldn't, so op will have to let it go.
And, obviously imo, any 6 year old who does this, unless they have some kind of 'issue', is poorly brought up. Quite likely they have never had to apologise for their actions, have parents who excuse their actions and minimise it with victim blaming, for instance.

skullcandy Sun 27-Jan-13 10:35:32

It is NOT your fault OP, you did nothing wrong, and all the smuggy smugs need to leave you alone.

Glad your son is ok. But, for the future, keep your DS sat on a chair/bench away from the pool edge while you pack.

HDee Sun 27-Jan-13 10:36:11

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BertieBotts Germany Sun 27-Jan-13 10:37:28

Children CAN drown in seconds so be aware - that's why you don't leave them alone in the bath even for a minute. I would be wary about a poolside more because of the slipping possibility.

I suppose at 6 if the boy didn't have any younger siblings they might not have known that most 2 year olds can't swim and it would be extremely dangerous to push them in, especially if he hadn't been taken swimming often. Still I hope the parents did impress upon him the seriousness of what happened.

KnightBusRider Sun 27-Jan-13 10:43:53

Jeez, I can't believe people are actually blaming the OP here.

She has already stated she was right there watching him and she obviously was because she had him out the pool in seconds.

Why be so bloody nasty and mean? Does it make you feel proud of yourself?

JenaiMorris Sun 27-Jan-13 10:44:27

I'm not blaming the OP.

I just find it odd that she cannot see that it is not OK to have a toddler so close to the poolside that they could either slip in or be pushed. He must have been right up to the edge.

Everything is someone else's responsibility - the pool attendants, the boy's father, the 6 yo boy himself...

5madthings Sun 27-Jan-13 10:45:22

No it doesn't mean he is poorly brought up. Children lack impulse control, he won't have understood the consequences of his actions. Children do silly things it doesn't mean they are badly brought up it means they are a child who will now hopefully be taught that what he did was wrong.

And yes the hotel can ban peoolkwand maybe for persistent our repeated bad behavior but for a one off incident from a young child who was silly it would be overkill.

duplotractor Sun 27-Jan-13 10:45:34

Well of course I wish I'd done things differently and probably won't be going back to that pool. I felt awful seeing the boy come up but not being quick enough to prevent it.

But it was a kids pool (yes I know kids can drown in hardly any water) and I was probably given my ds at least as much attention as other parents there. Always watching him from within a couple of metres but letting him move around a bit on his own - partic in the swallower part of pool.

I will speak to reception once my ds2 is awake (he wasn't at pool) and at least see what they say about a doctor. I reckon the pool attendants might know who the boy was so perhaps I will mention it again to them in unlikely event we go back.

5madthings Sun 27-Jan-13 10:47:06

Its not nasty or mean to point outthe obvious, a toddler shouldnt be standing by the edge of the pool on his own, even if she was right there. She wasn't close enough to grab him and stop him falling if he slipped.

duplotractor Sun 27-Jan-13 10:51:11

Now someone tells me about water inhalation I understand the risks but tbh I previously just thought I needed to be close enough to react quickly - not to prevent him jumping in. He has done baby swimming for 2 yrs now and never fallen in but when others have its just been about getting them out quick.

5madthings Sun 27-Jan-13 10:53:50

I am verysuprised the pool guards didn't get him checked out tbh.

It happened and was a shock to both of you, hope he is OK.

Water safety isn't always taken as seriously as it should be, as a parent its always good to expect the unexpected!

ProphetOfDoom Sun 27-Jan-13 10:54:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Also, the kid who did the pushing may have been as young as 4 but big for his age (I have a tall DS who was often mistaken for being quite a bit older than he was) so I don't think it's relevant or useful to rant about how 'badly brought up' he must be. All kids do at least one horrendous thing in childhood because they are kids and haven't got much in the way of impulse control or common sense.

Sorry you had such a fright OP, but shit happens and at least you and your DS are all right.

FlouncingMintyy Sun 27-Jan-13 10:57:29

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HyvaPaiva Sun 27-Jan-13 10:57:43

The child who pushed him in needs to have it explained to him as dangerous. The parent of that child should have apologised and helped you, as well as dealing with their child.

You however are taking no responsibility for the fact that had you sufficiently watched your son and sufficiently kept him out of danger's way, this wouldn't have happened. He's TWO! Sensible and careful he may be but he's two. And I for one won't listen to it being 'bad form' to question someone's parenting. Fact is, you don't stand a two year old next to a pool ever and those who talk this away to placate the OP are just as wrong.

hmm

larrygrylls Sun 27-Jan-13 10:59:53

As ever on here, so much hysteria.

Why on earth should you not let a 2 year old stand on the edge of a pool in your sightline? What is the worst that can happen? He falls him and you jump in and get him out. How on earth does anyone supervise young families of more than one? Assume both parents are there all the time? Pay for help? On holiday, with my 3 and 2 year old, they can potter around where they like as long as I know I can quickly get to them if they get into trouble. Children need to learn awareness of safety issues themselves and that means allowing them to take some risks. A paediatrician interviewed recently said the prevalence of older children in A&E after accidents was due to the mad safety culture we have now. Little children are not allowed to make little mistakes and so consider themselves invulnerable and take big risks as they get older.

A 6 year old should not push a 2 year old he does not know in the pool. How is that ever excusable? If he has special issues, he needs appropriate supervision. If not, he is clearly not well brought up and I would have thought the hotel should take some sort of sanction, at least a formal warning to his parents or something that he would be banned if it happened again. I would be so furious if a big hulking 6 year old pushed my 2 year old into the water. I would not consider it "high spirits" or anything like that. I would at the very least expect a major apology from both the child and his parents.

And, as for hospital for a 2 year old swallowing water, why? Human beings are designed to occasionally choke on water and survive. If every time I accidentally breathed in water while playing in the pool with my brother as a child, I was taken to hospital, I would have spent most of my holidays there. Sure, if I was sick or showed some symptoms of being unwell, but not otherwise. The toddler just needs some big cuddles, some reassurance and a nice drink and something to eat when he calms down and then get on with the holiday.

JenaiMorris Sun 27-Jan-13 11:02:23

There is no such thing as an NT child who is entirely predictable. Some are less impulsive than others, but none can be trusted to never do ridiculous, dangerous things.

When he was about 5, my own ds ran out into a side road, something I swore he would never do, because he was so aware of road safety and so sensible near traffic. It only happened once, but without wishing to be melodramatic once is all it takes. (He was fine btw - just scared the hell out of me!).

Anyone witnessing that would have been quite justified in thinking that I was naive, a little negligent even.

I don't keep him strapped to my side of course (well, not at 12 wink ) or wrap him in cotton wool - but it was a wake-up call.

ProphetOfDoom Sun 27-Jan-13 11:02:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FlouncingMintyy Sun 27-Jan-13 11:05:47

As ever, on here, too much victim blaming (don't we all love it?) and not enough sensible advice for the op.

Op I would ask the hotel management to speak to the family of the boy who pushed your son into the water. This incident needs to be followed-up so that the child, who is still only 6 after all, realises just how serious this could have been and is in no way a funny joke or prank at all. His dad may have disciplined him, but then again he may not. I am quite sure that the hotel would not want a drowned toddler on their records so they need to follow this incident up.

Hope you are feeling a little better now.

seeker Sun 27-Jan-13 11:10:16

If either of mine had pushed a toddler into a pool when they were 6 it sure as hell wouldn't have been "just one of those things"! Can't believe people are saying all this "oh he was only little" "he didn't realize what he was doing" and incredibly, "I would have done the same as the father"

Jesus wept!

Nishky England Sun 27-Jan-13 11:11:23

Larry- a child falling in and being pulled out is not the worst that can happen in that scenario.

"I never make mine say sorry, and I really don't think I'd have hung around in this situation for long either. I'm not the sort of person to stand and take a roasting for something out of my control.

Sorry is just a word. What would seeing a hysterical, soaking wet child and mote have achieved?"

Unbelievable. If your DC, for whatever reason, nearly kills someone, you wouldn't hang around the situation for long either. That is charming.

Sure, OP was right there watching him. But surely she could have let her 2 year old stand somewhere safe while waiting for her, and not right at the edge of the pool? I am sure it would be perfectly feasible to supervise her son if he was standing on the other side of her while she was packing their stuff, or sitting on the sun lounger? If he was further from the pool side, the other boy would not have been able to push him in, and the whole experience avoided.

As for the other family, maybe they were mortified, and does not speak English?

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