So...anyone else living off 3 hours sleep a night?? Sooo tired and no support from DH.

(16 Posts)
Peanutbutternutter419 Sun 27-Jan-13 06:39:48

DS is nearly 7 wo and is bf. he likes to feed every 2 hours approx but it can take anywhere up to 40 mins to settle him back to sleep after, which means im awake for about a hour per feed and its really starting to affect me. Ive currently been awake since 5.15am and DS has only just gone into deep sleep enough that i know its worth me getting back into bed properly.

DH works really hard during the week so i dont disturb him but during the weekends if i wake him to ask for help as i cant keep my eyes open then he gets so grumpy that its just not worth it. He is great with DS during the day but is very selfish when it comes to night.

Dont know how much longer i can live on this lack of sleep. I have tried so hard to nap during the day but i just cannot switch off enough and then feel like i should be using that time to doing chores.

Ive just had enough really!! :-(

getoffthecoffeetable Sun 27-Jan-13 07:00:28

Sorry to hear you're so tired. It does get better.
When DS was that age I expressed straight after his 7pm feed then did the baby whisperer dream feed. Went to bed straight after expressing then either DH or I did the dream feed then straight back to bed. Because you feed them while they're asleep it doesn't take long to feed them.
Also, after Saturday morning second feed DH was up by then and would take DS out for a couple of hours while I slept.
You could also try starting to stretch out time between feeds assuming that baby has no weight issues. Try 15 mins later and add 15 mins on per week until you get to 3 hours.
Am by no means an expert, this is just what worked for us. Good luck.

Flisspaps Sun 27-Jan-13 07:01:02

Can you safely co-sleep?

BikeRunSki Sun 27-Jan-13 07:13:40

I have no advice, just hand holding.

DD is 15 months and still wakes several times in the night. She's not bf, but she won't settle for DH. DS is 4 and tends not to settle until 9 pm and DD starts waking up about 11 pm (then 2ish and 5 ish). I went back to work 4 weeks ago and it's killing me.

Peanutbutternutter419 Sun 27-Jan-13 07:31:14

Awake again. :-( need to feed and then will reply...

Peanutbutternutter419 Sun 27-Jan-13 07:53:14

Only wanted a snack/drink! But im now wide awake again.

Thanks for advice/hand holding...its so reassuring that no matter what time it is you have support on here !
getoff i will look into baby whisperer although DS has never been good at feeding when sleeping...he just cant be bothered!

Last weekend on sat morning i said to DH to take him just for an hour so i could stay in bed. He did very willingly and had a bath with but it obv. Got too difficult to dress him as he woke me to help him just 30 mins later. :-( could i get back to sleep after that...hell no!

flisspaps i do put him in bed with me from this feed usually as he does settle a lot quicker and sleeps longer but i dont want to do it for the whole night as i dont sleep properly for worrying.

And oh my! bikerunski i really feel for you...sending sympathy hugs!

Peanutbutternutter419 Sun 27-Jan-13 07:58:00

Btw...DS just starting whinging again and DH huffed and turned over...in his sleep! Im so tired and worked up that i really want to accidentally kick him!! Argh!!

peanutbutter this may not help you but can I just say 7 weeks is so so small (ds2 is 7wks 1day) and this stage lasts a very short time in the grand scheme. My ds1 had colic and reflux and was the amazing non sleeping baby, I thought I would go insane from lack of sleep. But it did get better with time.

Now I've got ds2 and I'm a bit older and wiser (and have the big dcs who are 8 and 6 to prove it gets better) I'm trying my very best to cherish every moment. Night feeds are our snuggly time. Maybe with that thought in your head it may feel a little easier.

I don't have any advice about your DH as I'm not overly sure how much they can do when the baby is ebf. But definately talk to him about how you are feeling. Having a new baby is tough on a relationship and communication is the key.

Good luck and come find us on the Dec 2012 postnatal thread. We're all in the same boat.

littleredmonkey Sun 27-Jan-13 08:27:33

Been there as you are very hard. It does get better. Ds was the same waking every two hours so draining it impossible to think properly. I could not sleep in the day also so gave up that idea. I also clean when he is sleeping mad I know but it's what I do.
To encourage longer sleeps and more peaceful we got a ewan dream sheep. My t shirt as a sheet in the basket and hot water bottle to make it toasty when you first put him in. Take it out obviously
I also got a referral from nct and a lady visited me in my home and time to observe me bf. The techniques so showed me a better way so more productive feeding.
Day time chat to hubby. Tell how you feel. How you need his support. He may work hard but so do you day and night. Ask him to dream feed in the evening for you so you get a good four hours sleep. The difference is amazing. Ask him if he could change him and you feed him. You need his help make sure he knows how you feel
Get a friend or family member to come and help you to do some chores. Also have a good natter. to. them. It help breaks up the day cup tea and a biscuit
Get hubby to look after him on return from work so you can have a bath or shower and relax
Get the pram out a nice slow walk and some fresh air will do you both good mow the snow has gone.

oscarwilde Sun 27-Jan-13 09:02:19

Honestly, unless you can express enough to have your DH do a dreamfeed or are prepared to introduce a bottle of formula before bedtime there's not a lot your DH can do. He definitely needs to get a grip on changing and dressing by now though. A baby gro's not that complicated :-)

Do you have a spare room you can cosleep in?if you have the entire spread of a double bed to distance yourself after the feed it helps a lot. Wear warm pjs and just bring the duvet to your waist. If the baby is in a grobag he can sleep on the sheet while you snuggle up afterwards.

At 7 weeks your son is possibly in a growth spurt so he will settle down in a few days. Get his weight checked at the next opportunity and if all is good then you can start to push his feed times a little by little. Bounce him up and down, dance around the kitchen to get yourself the extra 5-15 mins. He'll be irate but will feed better for it :-)

If bf-ing is important to your husband too, explain that lack of sleep and food are probably affecting your supply and he needs to find a way to help you get more rest. My DH brought me juice, tea and a huge bowl of porridge before going out to work. If was the crack of dawn but I could at least stay in bed and snooze until the next feed was over.

Best of luck, you'll start to see things improve in phases, 8,12 and by 16 weeks it will all be a bad memory with any luck.

RooneyMara Sun 27-Jan-13 09:09:31

Hiya smile

3wo here and yes, getting about 2-3 hours a night. I co sleep because I haven't got a partner so there's loads of room.

It does get hard to cope at times, I know - I worry about driving particularly, as I'm so weary.

But I think co sleeping is saving my sanity. I might not get a bath or a proper meal all day, but at least I don't have to actually get out of bed more than once for a nappy change in the night...it really does help.

How about a co sleeping cot that goes next to the bed? Apparently it's really good for babies to be next to you as they pick up on your breathing patterns, or something - I don't know, I read it years ago. Safer apparently? Might be worth a google smile But I'm certain those little cots aren't any more risky than him being in a proper cot away from your bed.

They have some on ebay x

plantsitter Sun 27-Jan-13 09:28:34

Oh, it's awful but it DOES get better.

I'm not going to slag your DH off but he needs to help you out here. I'm sure he works hard during the week but so do you and while he presumably needs sleep to work properly during the week weekends should give you a bit of a rest too.

I could never sleep when the baby slept during the day either, but the time is wasted on chores - read a book, watch a bit of telly, anything that you find relaxing. It's not skiving, it's looking after yourself so you can take care of the baby properly.

shewhoknowsall Sun 27-Jan-13 10:05:46

My DS is 9 mths and has always been a crap sleeper but the last few wks he wakes every hour so I feel your pain. I haven't had more than 4hrs sleep since he was born (actually after 4hrs I feel refreshed! ). Try co-sleeping it really is a life saver. Kick DH out if you have to and enjoy the space. It's not ideal but sometimes you just have to do what is best for you at the time. My DD (4) was a bad sleeper as is DS so I've gotten my head around the fact that I won't sleep for another few years but your baby is only 7 wks and could easily be sleeping better in the next few weeks and it will become a hazy memory. Your DH may not be able to feed but tell him how you feel and ask for some help in other areas if he feels he can't help with the baby. My own DH was useless when they were tiny babies but once they got bigger he felt more confident.

lagoonhaze Sun 27-Jan-13 14:58:05

We adapted a normal cot into a side car on our bed. Everyone had more room and more sleep. I just cant believe I waited til 6mths in to do it.

Worth a try?

StewieGriffinsMom Sun 27-Jan-13 15:01:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lagoonhaze Sun 27-Jan-13 15:03:45

PS if you want a ecopy of no cry sleep solution pm me your email address.

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