Mumsnet Talk

DH has just sent DD (7) to her room for giving him a dirty look after he told her to move up on the sofa. I saw the look and it was just an I'm angry but I'm not going to say anything' look rather than a scowl. When she was going out the door he pushed her head to steer her out the door, not hard but it was unacceptable.

We then had a massive row because he said I am a hypocrite and have been telling the DC off all day, which I have, but for what I feel was blatant cheekiness and not listening to me.

I am so angry with him, do you think he has a point or am I being UR?

Personally I don't believe in sending children to their room when they are being naughty.

Don't know if that helps.

His reaction to 'a look' seems excessive but the problem here is more the fact he pushed her head. Why?

He said he was 'steering' her out of the room. It wasn't a 'push' but I didn't like him steering her by her head. I do send her to her room when she mish=behaves but i think this was really OTT

'Pushing' her head as she leaves the room sounds like a childish, immature shove that a child would do if they were having a tantrum. Tell him to grow up and not to 'shove' his children.
Bollocks to the 'steering her out of the room' - does he not think that, at 7, she is maybe old enough to 'steer' herself out of the room?
FWIW, YANBU.

Did she need steering out of the room??

Try and rationalise it with him- would he want you to manhandle him when HE was angry? Why was she upset about moving up on the sofa?

Sounds like a massive ott reaction tbh.

If my dd had done that I would have probably just said 'please don't look at me like that when I ask you to do something...'

and that would be that.

If the kids have been playing you up all day though maybe it was the last straw and he was fed up.

Get yourself a copy of 'how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk' it has some really good tips for dealing and communicating with kids when they are driving you mad!!

sending to room for a scowl will depend on family rules and values

"steering by the head", if someone did that to me I would want to punch them in the face - it ignites extremely strong feelings in me of control, disrespect and abuse (I have no personal background in this, I just cant stand it, it is degrading and insulting)

was she in danger of missing the door without his guiding hand?

No?

Then it was a shove because he was pissed off. Not a helpful act designed to stop her banging into the door frame or trying to walk through the wall.

Sounds like everyone was in a bad mood. Kids playing up, you telling them off all day, her shooting him a look for something as simple as asking for space on the sofa...

Which can happen. It can settle - it's an atmosphere that affects everyone and before you know it, everyone is shouting at/grumpy with everyone else. Everything's a big deal.

The way to deal with it is to break it. Go for a walk, play a game, something to break it up.