Mumsnet Talk

I'm so embarrassed. am a member of the schools PETA and have been for 3 or so years. I go to most of the meetings, get involved in fundraising and help out at school fairs etc when I can. I'm not friends with any of the other women but thought we all got on OK.

most of the PTA don't work so they also have a coffee morning in the am. Have never been before as I work full time and am lone parent to 5 so time is limited. Yesterday my meeting was cancelled as I was at the school gates son I thought I'd nip for coffee with them before getting on as I do crave adult company and am lonely at times. anyhow, no one knew I was going and when I arrived they were in corner of coffee shop so I queued first for my coffee and whilst doing so heard them laughing about me, suggesting I had lied about working and querying the father of my youngest. Stupidly I stood there .....one of them saw me and looked horrified and then I just left the shop.

I can't face these people.......it must have been going on for years. I'm so upset and feel awful. One of them has text me asking me to ring her and 2 of the worst one's have deleted me from fb.

"i can't face these people"...... Then don't! Seriously, i think there are a certain breed of women who join the PTA just to have a little clique and if you don't fit in the watch out. I rejoined my schools PTA this year because i wanted to do my bit again and then one day i turned up at the school fair prep to find much whisperin in the corner and them all exaggerated eye rolling saying we weren't allowed to prep til the morning. So off i went, only to have one of them catch up with me an say, oh no we are setting up really, but we didn't want X there (she walked in just as i did) because her kids are a pain in the arse. I left with X, who yes, is a bit of a gobby mare and her kids ARE a bit of a pain running around etc. I helped at the fair the next day but vowed that it would be the last time i helped out. I am 42 years old not 12! I don't need it. Neither do you, they are probably just jealous of you to be fair.

Google that brilliant dolly Parton song harper valley PTA and play it loudly to them

You probably do get on okay with the majority. The majority probably just politely smile and ignore the silly, bitchy comments that certain women make and know in the back of their minds that things are probably said about them when they're not present.

It hurts when life throws things like this at you. Don't let it stop you doing what you want though.

Honestly, there is more to life than worrying about the PTA. I really feel for you - I have fairly well founded suspicions that I'm often up for discussion, but I just have to let it all wash over me. I also get the reverse - being criticised for being on the PTA & 'wasting my time' on school events when there's nothing in it for me . There have been a million upsets in our PTA - & we are generally all quite nice!

Kidder this is disgusting behaviour. You have nothing to feel embarrassed about. Hold your head up high - they are the ones who should feel ashamed.

Do you really care what these people think of you? They sound petty and narrow minded.

I would guess they have deleted you from FB, incase you out them. Sending you a huge (sorry MN) hug. x.

Utter bastards. They are not worth a minute more of your time. Vile

You probably do get on okay with the majority. The majority probably just politely smile and ignore the silly, bitchy comments that certain women make and know in the back of their minds that things are probably said about them when they're not present.

this is completely true. I know thats hard to see right now, but it is.
I wouldn't leave. I'd go back and make the ringleaders feel awful by my constant presence. If you drop out it makes it easier for them. They are just silly stupid women who are still in the mentality of playground bullying. Hold your head up high and rise above it. Their little lives must be very lacking to feel the need to be like that.

If it were me, I would email the PTA and the school head, resigning, and stating why. But I sometimes like a row. What a bunch of nasties. Keep your chin up and never feel ashamed when being judged by people like that - they are not worth it.

Gosh, they sound awful. Didn't want to read and run. I'm sorry they have spoken about you in this way. I don't know if I have any helpful advice for you as you have done nothing wrong. Those parents at the cafe however would benefit from some advice on how to conduct themselves! I suspect their comments stem from insecurity - you hold down a job, are lone parent to five and are a member of the PTA, you sound like supermum! This in no way excuses their behaviour though.

This incident reflects badly on these rude people and not on you, and they'll know it. I imagine they'll be mortified and rightly so. You on the other hand have nothing to be ashamed of and can hold your head high. If I were you I'd not mention this to them as it would give them a chance to apologise and make themselves feel better. I'd be civilised and polite but cool towards them, I think this would make them squirm sufficiently.

As hurtful as their words were, it doesn't matter what these people think of you. Try to put it behind you.

Good grief. I thought people grew out of that kind of thing.