Should I go for no.3?(7 Posts)
i have 2 im goin to b 25 in 3 days... i have 1 whos 2.9 yrs and one whos 8 months old the 2nd one wasnt planed and i was very shoked when i found out bt now there growing together n ave a very good bonding... ive always wanted 4 kids but i want a gap od 5/6 yrs so i gt to spend sum tym with these two its al down to how wel ur managing think it thru... i wouldnt change these two for the world bt i became a stay at hme mum... but wanting to continue with my career soon x
I had a 12yo and an 8yo when I got pregnant with DS3 - the older boys were a few days off 13 and just turned 9 when he was born. TBH it's been the best thing we ever did. Having such a big gap between 2 and 3 meant that DS3 had all the novelty of a firstborn with the confidence of having done it all before. The boys are now a few days of 19, 15 and just turned six and while there have been challenges (2 bed house being one of them!) and finding family days out that suit everyone can be hard. DS1 and DS3 have a fabulous relationship and I'm dreading how it will affect DS3 when DS1 goes to Uni in the autumn.
Thanks kday, I've begun to think maybe as I'm hitting 28 - what I would consider around the age to start having children rather than 19! - that it may just be my biological clock starting in. My worry is if I don't do it now or in the next couple of years that I will regret it.
I'm not sure I have any real advice but I have 3, aged 5, 3 and 1. I was much older than you when I started (34) so felt I needed to get a move on if i was going to have three kids.
When I got pregnant with number 3, I didn't realise how close I was to getting a bit of independence back, and I sometimes look at people with 5 and 3 year olds a little wistfully... They have two kids is school/nursery and maybe a bit of time (if they are SAHM like me). They also have kids who can sometimes play independently/together and don't need the full on input that babies and toddlers need. I envy that. No more nappies, endless hours of breastfeeding, babyproofing, putting tiny toys out of reach, hovering to make sure the newly walking doesn't crack his head open on something, scrubbing puréed carrots or other rejected food items off of hard surfaces etc etc). Your kids can play independently and don't need that round the clock watching. That said, my three are easy to take to places (soft play, the park) and they can all get enjoyment. That's harder if you have a big age gap.
On the plus side you've had some lovely "one on one" time with your DCs and because they're at school you would have similar time with the new baby. This I would envy you as with three close together I often feel like it's just a big juggling act and no one is ever getting the attention they need when they need it. There always seems to be a child on my leg demanding something and I mostly just feel torn between them.
I wouldn't have a third child because you'd "be better prepared" but think you're absolutely right to think carefully how you'd feel about going back to the start again - I would have found that really difficult having had a bit of freedom for several years. It's not selfish to enjoy that freedom. It would be a great pity to have another baby and feel at all resentful that your "freedom" is gone (albeit temporarily).
One other thing is that you'll have a big gap - the youngest will in some ways be a bit like an only child (9 and 6 years younger than his/her siblings, at least) unless you have a fourth (but that's a whole other thread!!). Good luck.
I have one dd - am 37 so late starter - I think I have really enjoyed and savoured it all. Could be a chance to do that? Depends how it was when you have your others.
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So I have two adorable children (boy aged 8 and a girl aged 5). I got married v. Young - only 18 and had my son when I was 19. My husband and I are now at a place in our lives where we're thinking about maybe having another baby.. I know it's selfish but I can't help thinking that as the kids are getting more and more independent each day this would bring me right back to start and I don't know if I could handle it! On the other hand I think we were so young when we had the kids if we did have another one we would be much better prepared... argh! Just don't know. Any help/advice would be greatly appreciated!
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