How do you deal with The Toddler's Litany: 'No! No! No!'?

(11 Posts)
eversomuch Thu 24-Jan-13 11:35:50

DD is 22mo. Her vocabulary is increasing at a tremendous rate (yay!!!) but lately her favourite word is 'no'. Almost every question or request is answered with it.I try to be patient and keep my cool; try to distract her and then try again, but it's sometimes so hard and frustrating. I also have a 12-wk old baby, so my energy levels and patience aren't always what they should be as I try to give them both the attention they need. DD, btw, has adjusted really well to DS's arrival, so I don't think all the no-no-no business is jealousy -- I assume it's just a toddler thing. But some advice would be appreciated.

How do you deal with a toddler's constant chants of 'no, no, no'?

valiumredhead Thu 24-Jan-13 12:45:07

Don't ask questions, just directions and ignore the 'no's' - it's just their way of asserting their newfound independence. It'll pass.

rrreow Thu 24-Jan-13 15:22:28

Don't ask a question unless you are prepared for the answer to be no. (If you weren't, then it wasn't really a question anyway).

So if DS needs a nappy change I don't ask him if he wants one. If we have to go out, I don't ask him if he wants to go out. I just say things like "Let's go change your nappy!" (sometimes a bit of notice helps: we'll change your nappy soon. 1 minutes later: OK it's time to change your nappy now) "Let's go do some grocery shopping!"

Then other things he'll have the freedom to choose. "Shall I read you a story?" "Shall we play with your train set?"

DownyEmerald Thu 24-Jan-13 21:05:28

We sometimes found with dds repeated negatives, treating it all as a huge joke and coming back at her with the same thing super exaggeratedly and dramatically had her in fits of giggles quite quickly. And mixing it up with "yes, yes yes" occasionally.

Lightened my mood anyway.

neolara Thu 24-Jan-13 21:10:31

All of my 3 dcs went through this stage. By far the most effective response was to tell them that they couldn't do whatever I wanted them to do. E.g. "Put your coat on" "NO!" "Yes, don't put your coat on. No, don't. Definitely no coat. Don't go near it. Don't touch it. Put it down! If you put it on, I'll cry. WAAAAAAAAH! You put your coat on!" etc. Just make it a huge game where they get one over on you. For many, many months this was the only way I could get dc3 to do anything. In fact, she's now 3 and it still works brilliantly.

eversomuch Fri 25-Jan-13 03:49:47

Thanks, everyone. Will keep these suggestions in mind.

LetsKateWin Fri 25-Jan-13 04:08:45

I love your suggestion neolara. Very funny.

wanderingalbatross Fri 25-Jan-13 10:31:37

My 20mo DD does this too - I often just cheerily say "yes yes yes" in response with a big grin and pick her up to do whatever needs doing. Or else I say "okay, I'll do it by myself" and leave the room to go wherever we need to - she inevitably follows me as she doesn't like being left alone.

I've also started saying simply "X then Y", e.g. "shoes then walk" if she won't put her shoes on as she likes to go outside. Not sure if she's really too young to comprehend this though?

eversomuch Sun 03-Feb-13 16:16:41

The reverse psychology approach is working pretty well, so thanks again, neolara. I've started saying things like, "i'm taking the baby upstairs, but you can stay down here" or "i'm going to tidy up now but you don't have to help" and most of the time she'll exclaim, "Me!" and run to do the thing I said she didn't have to. smile

SneezySnatcher Sun 03-Feb-13 17:11:11

I just say "Shall Mummy put your coat on or are you going to?"
That way, she gets a choice but both work for me!

I found USA pardiatrician Harvey Karp's book 'The happiest toddler on the block' great for toddler communication tips and tricks. It is written a bit cheesily but gosh it really, really works. It's on amazon as Ebook and paperback.

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