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So embarassed by ds's behaviour today

6 replies

myermay · 22/04/2006 22:36

Hate to say it but was so ashamed by ds's behaviour today. He's 3years 5mths and pushed a little 18month old boy off of a ride on toy too give his friend instead. He tipped the little boy backwards and he wacked his head really hard on the floor.

We were due to leave shortly anyway, so once i'd told him off i told him we were going home as i can't behave like that. He went into an enormous rage,kicking and screaming. Eventually i had to carry him out whilst he was screaming blue murder - People were staring, my friend had to help me out with my baby, as there was no way i could push the pushchair and restrain him at the same time. Even when we got to the car, he was going mental - took at least 40 mins to calm down.

Sounds awful, but i was so embarassed, and really disliked him afterwards. made me feel worse that the friend whose house it all happened at, her kids NEVER seem to play up and are never aggressive to other kids. Also didn't know the other 3 mums there.

I know it's just kids stuff, but surely at 3 and a half he should know better. Feel partly responsible as ds was tired and perhaps i should've gone on a playdate. I just really feel like i'm struggling with his behaviour atm.

Sorry to rant, just came away from it wondering where i've gone wrong with him. I'd say 80% of the time he's a darling but for me he's like bloody damien!

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dandycandyjellybean · 23/04/2006 10:41

can't help as my ds is only 6 months, but can imagine how you must feel Sad so bumping this for you till someone else with more helpful advice comes along.

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christie1 · 23/04/2006 23:19

every kid does it. If it is happening all the time, you need to look at whether you are giving him limits and dicipline. But alot of kids have an aggressive phase. You did hte right thing, move him out as fast as possible. My darling dd at a playgroup took a ball and bounced it off a childs face (on purpose and at a close distance). The childminder screamed bloody murder. I picked her up and left with her screaming under one arm and a baby under the other and, the next week, went back again. Just stayed close to her until this phase ended, and it did. It is embaressing but all kids will do it,so ignore the mom's who thing their darling will never do that, they will.

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NotAnOtter · 23/04/2006 23:43

myermay ..dont know if this helps but my ds3 was 3 in january which makes him about to turn 3 1/3 ! I have WORSHIPPED him up until now when i find his behaviour soo draining. he does not sem to take no for an answwer and is happy to have huge and loud paddy when over tired and things not going his way.
In a shop on friday he was being awful and i apologised for his giddyness to another customer with an older boy she said ' its totally normal its just how you deal with it that matters' Blush i dont know what that meant but do know that i sympathise with you and as long as you are aware that your son is being a pain then people will see you are dealing with it and you need not be ashamed HTHSmile

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Anoah · 24/04/2006 09:05

Myermay, my little ones have gone through this phase. I think it sounds like you handled it really well. I'm sure the other mums understand, I'd bet that their kids often act up just like your son did, and they probably thought that you handled like a pro.

I don't believe in the terrible twos for me it has been the terrible threes and fours.

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myermay · 24/04/2006 10:45

Thanks you all for your replies. i don't know why i let it upset me so much, i guess i felt humiliated infront for these people i barely knew. I think i'm really firm with him,his dad isn't really, i have to be. He's so determined, defiant & doesn't seem to get the message when i say no (he obviously has loads of wonderful qualities too Smile. But i knew he was overtired, so perhaps should've avoid load, busy places as he gets so excited and starts to do things like pushing etc. But as dp say, you can't keep making excuses for him, just because he's tired.

I've had a word with dp & told him that he must toughen up on him whn he misbehaves and how we're going to deal with it. Also spoken to a friend whose son was a nightmare until he was 4, and is now an angel. So like you all say, hopefully it's just a phases and the majority of kids get like this.

Notanotter,that was a strange thing for the women to say! wonder what she meant be it? it's always easy to judge someone elses parenting isn't it, but when it happens to you it's a whole different ball game. Not easy this parenting lark is is! Grin

Thanks again

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alittlebitshy · 24/04/2006 10:50

i know just what you mean.

my dd was (is? not sure, been off nursery over easter til today) in an aggressive phase and it makes me feel so differently about her, and i then feel so crap about myself for that. I keep being told that it is normal for them to push the boundaries like that, it is how we deal with it that counts. with my dd withdrawal of privilidges is the best punishment - she sees consequcnes that effect her - but different things work for different mums!!

good luck - keep us posted, rant all you like. I did a few weeks ago, that's for sure!!!

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