Further freakingly fantabulous adventures of the 40+ Mummies

(1000 Posts)
10000Fireflies Thu 17-Jan-13 20:13:44

For gorgeous, frolicking and fabulous 40-somethings to share the joys of becoming a Mummy, just a little bit later than most!! grin. Park your zimmer-frame next to your baby buggy, put your feet up, and come and join us in the snug.

Congratulations chairmanwow! Fabulous to meet you and dd... Hope you get home and away from the Most Annoying Family In The World (TM) soon.

Me, am 43, first DS (known as Babygoat, can climb like one) born 18 July 2012, two months early. Good pregnancy too, until the bloody HELLP syndrome that caused BG's early arrival by EMCS. Prems are age-adjusted until age two - BG has decided he wants to be caught up by yesterday.

Love the wartime ingenuity, lrm...

littleredmonkey Sat 30-Mar-13 08:26:54

CIO this morning. Poor baby monkey crying his little lungs out. Dp doing it. This hard and I am not doing it. Bbh keep me strong honey. Xxx

scarecrow22 Sat 30-Mar-13 08:33:19

lrm - am not bbd but here to hold your hand til she comes,along x

littleredmonkey Sat 30-Mar-13 08:37:22

Thanks scarecrow. Every cry is a stab. I know it's for the best he needs to self sooth. Especially as he goes to nursery but it is hard. I keep giving dp coffee and easter egg chunks to help. He is doing very well. Have u done it with your little one?

littleredmonkey Sat 30-Mar-13 08:38:29

Ladies tell me this is worth the anxiety I am feeling.

blueblackdye Sat 30-Mar-13 09:43:34

LRM, don't give up, sweet. If you want to do it, be consistent. I know it is hard, I hate to hear baby cry, let alone mine, I know how horrible it sound and they know how to twist their mouth to make us feel bad. I m here to take you out for a walk with this lovely sunshine.
As Scarecrow said, it is more cruel to give in because the crying would not mean anything. This thought has kept me going Scarecrow last night.
Come back in the snug LRM, we will keep your mind occupied with something else. Hugs to your DP as well. He deserves a star.

blueblackdye Sat 30-Mar-13 09:47:13

Sorry I wasn't on line earlier. Had difficult night with a coughing and vomiting A ! But she is better and having her morning nap atm.
DS is wonderful, had his oeuf a la coque this morning with me, dipping his little soldiers in the egg and licking his lips, I could eat him alive too.
LRM, are you ok?

blueblackdye Sat 30-Mar-13 09:48:59

Welcome on this thread Chairman. Hope your annoying neighbours have been discharged or will be soon. How is baby Wow this morning ?

scarecrow22 Sat 30-Mar-13 10:19:10

sorry lrm was a,rubbish hand holder. DD got naughty and had to put phone away and turn off Princess Holly to emphasise importance of not bashing our Apple computer/ TV with s bubble machine shock

I did CC to extend lunch nap then to get morning wake up from 5 to 6. I still use occasionally to reset morning wake up. max ever did for was 45 mins. just all ever needed before got to where I wanted. every call for me cuts my heart. your DP is wonderful to help. team work so so important for both if you. I found playing Words with Friends or Scramble on my iTouch/phone or similar a vital distraction. happy to play WwF with you if you like that sort if thing. I felt like the tricoteuse but believed it was,right in long ru. dD is 2.3 and is super happy and confident smile

Midgetm Sat 30-Mar-13 10:53:23

LRM - how's it going?

Welcome chairman - love your username. Have you broken free from hospital?

scarecrow22 Sat 30-Mar-13 12:06:21

one of the top three - if not the no 1 - baby tip I ever picked up is babies cry mire from tiredness than any other cause, even hunger.

bytheseaside Sat 30-Mar-13 12:59:38

welcome wow! hope you are happily home by now. All ok knicky? I'm 40, dd1 6 months old (another prem) very happy, tired and clueless about routines (all three of us!)

oh LRM, that sounds horrible. how did it go? watching with interest from sidelines - know we have to get naps in order at some stage, not looking forward to it ...

hi to all! spending easter bh sorting out and cleaning up... oh, and baby s celebrating by trying cucumber and mango smile

Midgetm Sat 30-Mar-13 13:00:09

Couldn't agree more scarecrow - master midge only gets inconsolable when tired.

knickyknocks Sat 30-Mar-13 14:20:52

Hi all, sorry I joined the thread then when AWOL...I didn't even introduce myself properly! I'm 41, just had my DS 9 days ago and have a DD who is 3.5 years old.

I'm OK though exhaustion starting to take it's toll a wee bit. Popped out to the shops today just to get fresh air but felt a bit weird whilst out. Almost felt like I was going to pass out sad. My bits are much better (sorry TMI!!) but definitely not quite right yet. Got home and just wanted to collapse on the sofa. DH being fab, and now not letting me move from the sofa.

DS doing OK, he feeds about every 3 hours, but last night was really unsettled between 3 and 5am. With DD getting up at 6.15 it's probably no wonder I'm feeling shattered. I'll have an early night tonight and that should help.

chairman lovely to see you on here! Sorry to read about your ward neighbour. You'd think the closed curtains would give people the hint to pee off but unfortunately no.....

LRM oh I huge hugs, it's so tough but you're doing so so well. I realised with DD that there were things we had to do to make life better for everyone including her. Keep going my love you're doing so well smile

ChairmanWow Sat 30-Mar-13 17:36:01

Thanks for the warm welcome. We're still in the hozzy but I now have earphones grin. Hell is indeed other people (like the woman who spends all day chatting incessant shit into the phone, starting this morning at 5am angry). But I can at least block them out now. And there's a rumour of freedom tomorrow!

Baby Wow is still Wow! And big brother Wow is being really sweet and can't take his eyes off her. Am pinching myself that my family is complete. Can't believe it at my age. I feel so lucky. The only thing not going so well is the feeding. I'm not producing much at all so am topping up. Hopefully I'll get more in over the next couple of days. DD gets frustrated and won't suck for long, or she falls asleep. Will keep expressing and see what happens.

LRM big hugs. We did CC with DS because it was taking 1-2 hours to get him down for each nap. Started at 6 months and I remember so well sitting there having to listen to him screaming. It's horrible, but it's just tiredness and frustration in baby language. I feel we did DS a massive favour because he's great at self-soothing now and is a much happier boy because he gets enough sleep in the day. Hang in there thanks

blueblackdye Sat 30-Mar-13 19:35:28

LRM, hope you are well after this first day. The most difficult is behind you. Give it a few days, don't give up as yet. I know you can.
Chairman, I hope freedom is round the corner, how is DS ? Not missing you too much ? Or is it the other way round, you missing him !?
Knicky, with 2 LO, it seems like a pair of hands isn't enough, it never stops, I run from one to the other all the time, so I nap when I can, 10 min here, 15 min there... Some days, I just can't then I m very cross ! I m going to bed early tonight too and I don't care if some people think I am useless (yes, yes, I had remarks on my early nights!)

About me, 42 yo, DS is 4y and 5 months old, DD 8 months old since yesterday, quite straight forward planned pg, except 20 week scan showed short long bones and I chose to have amnio at 26 weeks but all was clear and DD is as perfect as her brother, VB at 39+2. Met wonderful Ladies on the 40+ Mums to be thread and followed them on the Grads one. DD was this angel BF baby, very content, self soother, sleeping through from 10 weeks and well until 6 months, back on CC for almost a week, getting there... The question is : for how long !? But not losing hope. smile

eagleray Sat 30-Mar-13 23:13:44

Sorry - I didn't introduce myself properly with a biog last time - I'm 41 and had DD1 in Jan after a straightforward(ish) pregnancy.

Good luck with the BF Chairman - I'm still a bit traumatised by those early days of BF hell when still in hospital. My supply was poor, DD refused to latch on and then over the first few days lost enough weight for us to be forced to introduce formula. The first time I used a pump I managed to express a teaspoonful - it was woeful.

Fast forward 8 weeks and the formula has been all but done away with (if DP starts to panic about DD starving then I let him give her 50ml in a bottle but other than that, she doesn't have any now). It's not been easy though, and you have to do what's right for you, your sanity and your baby. I think I was so offended at being written off (and at not having particularly good support when I was in hospital) that I was determined to prove them wrong.

Day 2 of Baby Eagle's first holiday today - we have a tiny cottage in the wilderness! Took her to the beach today - it was sunny but all of 4c and I had to BF in the sand dunes. Thankfully the boobs have thawed out now.. The cottage isn't very baby-friendly but I figured it didn't matter too much as we are all still alive and got over the hurdle of that first trip away.

Hang on in there LRM - hope you have survived today ok.

Knicky - keep resting! I did too much in my first couple of weeks and looking back really I should just have stayed in bed.

Happy easter to you all

somewherebecomingrain Sun 31-Mar-13 10:41:16

It's all gone very quiet on the mums to be thread. I think many of the prolific posters have now has babies! Except me and scarecrow and badmissm. So peeking up above the parapet here.

eagle your holiday sounds fantastic. Also your determination with the BF. chuckles at 'I let dp give 50ml if he's worried' ah the child inside the man. Sorta lovely!

knicky I hope you saw my last message on the mums to be thread? Please look if u can if not. How is KK? I've been following his nightly changes with interest - sounds like he's got potential to be a good sleeper.

scarecrow been a bit wrapped up in myself so head out of bottom - it's you and me next girlfriend! !!?** how are you feeling?

lrm hugs and handholding re cc. It's gotta be done and I just know in my heart it does no harm. My attachment oriented dp made me wait until 9 months not to go running in every time ds cried - and it was me who had to do it of course - and it sent me slightly mad. It's a two steps forward one step back thing in my experience but it gets you where you need to go in the end.

bytheseaside I will be cozleeping too I suspect so look forward to chatting to you about that.

Waves to goat, midget, vq ,*mrsw*, fjord

knickyknocks Sun 31-Mar-13 12:29:58

It has gone a bit quiet on the mums to be thread - hope everyone is OK over there.
somewhere just saw your last post on there smile. Baby KK is doing OK, he's on a sleeping marathon today but not surprised as the last 2 nights have been poo. He's been really unsettled between 3 and 5am and with DD getting up at 6 it's been exhausting. That said, he's proving he can sleep whole blocks of time - today he's already done a 4 hour nap, had some food, and now napping again. I'm still hopeful this will prove to be a good omen as at the very least it shows he CAN sleep for blocks at a time.

Going to try and have a nap this afternoon - haven't really managed to so far - you'd imagine given my older years that daytime napping would come easily but apparently not. The only sure fire way of getting me to nap instanteously is if DH puts on one of the many police documentaries he loves so much (you'd think that he sees enough of his job not to warrant more of the bloody stuff when he gets home...sky cops, boat cops, US cops, traffic cops, frontline cops, cops blinking coppers......I'll get him to put one on, the titles are usually enough to get me into a deep sleep grin

eagle agree your holiday sounds fab. Think you're very adventurous to have gone away with such a little one. I don't think we managed to go anywhere till DD got to about 9 months old! Hope you're having a lovely time. Mind that freezing weather and the BF - you're a hardy woman!!! grin

chairman long live the headphones! God, I had one of those women next to me, nattering all day long on her mobile. I prayed for it to run out of battery but it never bloody did. Why didn't I think of headphones?? Hope you manage to break free by the end of today.

bbd you're so right - 2 really are a handful, but it's more to do with interrupted sleep with DS and early mornings with DD. Not a good combination. DH is helping out where he can and I'm trying my best to not begin any 'I'm more tired than you' competitions (I'd win though grin)

BadMissM Sun 31-Mar-13 13:21:46

waves to everyone Am fine, just having a slightly bonkers family Easter with DH's family.... unused to this as mine are antisocial at best of times....

Chairman Mentally adding MP3 and earphones to hospital bag planning now...was spoiled in France with DD, had single room....

Off to DH's mad sister's in a bit.....

littleredmonkey Sun 31-Mar-13 13:46:39

Hi to all a quick hello then sloping off. Em yesterday well what a f@&big disaster. He cried for 2 hours and did not stop so we stopped it was fecking horrendous. We are doing a different approach by pick up put down leave and return the other was not happening for us. So failed but bugger me he slept 7:15 till 6:10 without a wake up or feed first night he has slept through.
New approach also failed so took him out in the pram. Big poo
Never mind will try again Monday.
Things to be thankful for. He is healthy. He has a good appetite. He sleeps at night. He has a lovely smile and laugh. He loves playing. He just doesnt like to day nap on his own yet. Could be worse.

ChairmanWow Sun 31-Mar-13 14:19:19

eagle thanks for sharing your BF experience. It's really given me hope. I've had an okay level of support. They run sessions here but they're all in the week and not on bank hols. MWs come when buzzed though. I quite like their attitude here though - very 'can do' about getting things up and running but with no snotty attitudes to topping up with formula. When I had DS, who was tongue tied one of the MWs said no formula at all, he will have enough body fat to last til his 5 day weigh in. He didn't, and ended up hospitalised with 15% weight loss and severe dehydration. We never got established as my supply didn't come in despite a month of trying. However I've just hand-expressed 2.5ml from my left which is vastly more than I ever managed last time. Am hopeful that my supply is on its way.

Anyway, enjoy the rest of your holiday! Sounds wonderful.

LRD sorry it's proving to be so hard. We only found it worked with DS if we did it every time he went down for a nap. DH couldn't face it one Saturday about 5 days in (when I was making some progress) and by the Monday it was worse than ever. My advice would be not to chop and change or DS won't understand what you're doing. Honestly though, do stick with it. It really pays off once it works. thanks

We're being discharged this afternoon. I could weep with gratitude. My own bed. No wittering phone woman (who puts on a really simpering voice when she's talking to her partner. Grrrr). Only 2 kids waking me up instead of an incessant relay. And - this just in - no woman texting every 5 mins with her keypad tones turned on. Wahey!

...And finally, having realised that I am no longer pregnant we have renamed Tuesday Cheeseday in our house. I'm going to the deli round the corner for a smorgasbord of stinkies, DS is going to nursery and it'll be us, DD, beaucoup du fromage and a load of crap telly all day. Can't wait!

<Wave to Knicky, BadMissM and Somewhere, undergraduate thread buddies!>

blueblackdye Sun 31-Mar-13 21:35:02

LRM, it is not pleasant to hear baby scream, I quite like the pick up put down technique and lengthen the duration between 2 pick up, I find it easier for me than CIO, first time with A it took me a couple of days but it eventually worked, this time, I had good results on day 2, it has now been 10 days and she has a cold, coughing and runny nose, naps are perfect but nights are more challenging. So if I may, don't give up now, otherwise all the pain DP and you had today and yesterday... Give it another day or 2, baby M is a very clever boy, he will get it. Talk to me on the phone if you want or to us on here.
Chairman, very happy you are home ! At last ! I bet you can't stop staring at her and kissing her. Enjoy, you have the famille parfaite or ideale !
Wave to every one. Bedtime now as I never know what the night holds for me, is it DS or DD, or both ?!

eagleray Sun 31-Mar-13 23:58:09

Sorry it didn't go so well LRM. Monday is another day and I'm sure you'll turn a corner soon.

Great that Baby KK is getting some 4 hour stretches of sleeping Knicky - it's more than we're currently getting hmm As for napping yourself - I really struggled with this in the early days after the birth but got into the swing of things around the 4 week mark I think - great that you've got DH's boring documentaries to lull you off to sleep!

Somewhere - not long now! Very excited for you

BadMissM - hope you're surviving the crazy family easter

Chairman - hope you are all safely at home now - no more awful phone woman. And good luck with the BF - funnily enough, we had tongue tie and weight loss but felt the formula top-up thing was forced upon us (the opposite to your situation). My main gripe was getting lots and lots of conflicting advice but very little continuity/consistency. Good news re the expressing - I have tried to block the hand expressing I did in hospital out of my mind as it is possibly one of the most humiliating experiences of my life. Oh, and my supply continued to improve long after it had been written off so hang on in there!

BBD - hope you are having a peaceful night

We had another day on the beach today - I BF'd Baby Eagle while DP had a swim in the sea. And there was 2ft icicles on the cliffs behind the beach! This trip away has been quite therapeutic as it's taken my mind off the endless routine off feeding/changing/sleeping. That still happens, of course, but we've done these things in cafes, on the beach, in the car and so on so I feel like I've got my life back just a tiny bit. It's also a rehearsal for travelling further afield - if I don't get some sun/warmth soon I will go insane

I'm almost fully recovered now from that awful flu (apart from weeing myself during a coughing fit the night before last) and DP has pointed out tonight that I am HUGE, and probably put on even more weight while I was ill. So I've really got to get my eating/exercise sorted out once and for all, with no excuses (BF or not, I'm a really unhealthy weight). LRM - I'm looking up to you as my inspiration

littleredmonkey Mon 01-Apr-13 13:22:46

Today is another day and dp has a cold and baby m has a blocked nose. Bummer! !! Oh well try Tuesday. I tried putting him down after he dropped off on me no chance lady cry cry cry so put him on the boob blanket over him and here we lay. There could be worse things in life laid in bed with my baby fast asleep

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