Further freakingly fantabulous adventures of the 40+ Mummies

(1000 Posts)
10000Fireflies Thu 17-Jan-13 20:13:44

For gorgeous, frolicking and fabulous 40-somethings to share the joys of becoming a Mummy, just a little bit later than most!! grin. Park your zimmer-frame next to your baby buggy, put your feet up, and come and join us in the snug.

scarecrow22 Mon 25-Feb-13 13:03:15

Be gads Eagle you are one courageous lady. Many people don't leave the house before 6 weeks, let alone worry about Gina and dieting. Please give yourself some slack. I realise it is tempting to get control back but if you set unrealistic targets you will end up getting run-down, frustrated and possibly down.
Politely tell your mother to not mention your weight - it would be awful if you tried to diet and It affected your milk supply. Tbh if I were you I would eat sensibly - ie some of everything, 3 good meals a day and mix up treats with healthy snacks, drink lots of water and in a few months you'll find you and Baby E are sleeping better, getting out more and either the weight will be coming off gently and surely, or you can think about watching what you eat and your activity if you need.
As for baby books check out a few and then pick the bits that work for you. I did 40pc Baby Whisperer, 10pc Giba and 50pc instinct/trial & error. For example i tried to get DD to go 3 hours between feeds and v slowly stretched that to 4: if she cried I checked nappy, change of scene, maybe a song or two; if she still cried I let her suck my finger in case she wanted a comfort suck (v often case), and if she still cried (not often) I fed her- sod the time police! DD was happier, i was more relaxed, she was more chilled...and so it went around the circle. We had bad days, sure, but my dominant memory was a relaxed baby because I learned to see patterns and warning signs rather than force us both into some artificial routine. One day I found we had a routine -though it always evolves - one we had found ourselves.

Sorry to sound so hideously bossy. I'm sure your mum is lovely and DP's colleague well-meaning (some pple thrive on Gina) - but her questions are v unhelpful, and actually potentially will make things worse.
Plus I feel so hideously giddy I'm barely functioning so not in usual polite mode hmm

Take such good care of you and babyE xx

blueblackdye Mon 25-Feb-13 13:19:11

Eagle, talk to her, tell her what you do, things like I am going to take your nappy off, wiping your bottom now, putting red sock on your chubby left foot.... smile at her, exagerate your facial expressions, you will see that she will soon reply back with smiles or babbling. I know, don't listen to yourself, I sometimes say silly things and would not behave like that ifthere were someone else inthe room with me, but hey I am alone with A most of the time !
Re GF there are a few tips that I use but I don't follow strictly her routine and her way of doing things, I found her potty training book interesting though, I think it is good to read a few books on parenting and try whatever sounds right, each parent has his/her own style, each baby is different, if there were one unique way of raising kids, well I have not heard yet from it !
A has been regressing lately, waking up in the middle of the night, refusing to settle by herself, I just follow her pace, getting upset does not make any differene ! Last night was awful, DS woke up at 2 with fever, A woke up at 10 pm then 11.30, then 3am, 4.30 and 6.45 ! I hope she now naps for 2 hours so that I can rest a bit too.
We have introduced fish (skate wings) yesterday and chicken today. And bread with poppy seed ! She seems to enjoy spice, cumin, oregano, poppy seed... Not a blink. I find easier to spoon feed her while she holds finger food. I can tell from her poo that there is a reasonnable amount getting in. Weighing her at the end of the week, 7 months already ! Definitiely Ditched 6 months clothing.

blueblackdye Mon 25-Feb-13 13:34:17

Eagle, I meant to say as well, don't worry too much about weight, I have not done anything specific, just eating sensibly, 2 or 3 meals a day, 1/3 protein, 1/3 carb, 1/3 veggies cooked or raw and cheese or yogurt, some days with healthy or less healthy snacks, biscuits or homemade cakes, fruits, plenty of water, a very little bit of working out, actually just walking tbh ! Going up and down the stairs 20 times a day. Almost 7 months, I am 1kg less than pre pg weight. No rush, you need energy for BF. And I am convinced BF does help lose weight. Slowly but eventually.

eagleray Mon 25-Feb-13 13:47:14

BBD - that's kind of what I do at the moment, ie a silly commentary when she's having her nappy changed (think it's almost second nature as hope to talk her out of a meltdown in response to being naked!)

Your nighttime wakenings sound worse than mine! I find I fear the night ahead as really dread being woken out of a deep sleep, but then it's generally never that bad when it actually happens. Last night we didn't get to bed til 1am (but she slept from 11pm) then was awake at 4am, 6.30am then 9.30am. But of course it seems to vary a lot each night. I don't know how you cope with 2 little ones - I can't imagine going through all this again!! Hope DS is feeling a bit better now?

Anastasia is enjoying a very sophisticated diet - I hope this means she will appreciate all sorts of foods as she grows up. There is definitely something sad about moving on from a clothing size - Baby E has outgrown her newborn things and I find myself going through them selecting which ones I'll keep as souvenirs!

Scarecrow - thanks for your kind words. DM rather cleverly manages to lace these conversations re my weight with mentions of things she's knitted for the baby so it makes it harder to challenge her over her comments (could she really be doing this on purpose??)

I really should be looking at some baby books and getting some ideas but I really feel as if my brain has been stolen right now and can't seem to take in much beyond Homes Under The Hammer on tv each morning blush

I will PM you as been thinking of you but very hard to converse on the 40+ thread these days as it moves so fast (but so nice to see so many people having fun on there!)

BadMissM Mon 25-Feb-13 20:15:59

I did ridicolous bilingual commentary of everything with DD...ex-H said people would think I was mad..but once you've got over the embarrassment is fine!!!

BadMissM Mon 25-Feb-13 20:16:15

er...ridiculous, even....

scarecrow22 Mon 25-Feb-13 21:06:09

Smiling (with a bit if hormonal tearfulness smarting!) at running commentaries. I did that and sang songs - ditties I remembered, ones I vaguely remembered and learned off google, ones I made... Like you I found it kept things calm, esp if DD was going to voice an objection. She is super chatty now - the risk you take wink another great benefit.

Also don't remember my DD smili g at all before 5 weeks, and not regularly/ on demand for ages. She ia a v cheerful soul. They are all different in timing and personality.

BBD esp like bi-lingual commentary. I sometimes talked to DD in French or Portuguese as she liked the change of tone. A Brazilian acquaintance came over one day and said "Es Una princessa, e as princessas nao choram" (*) in the lovely song-songy way brazilians talk and she was mesmerised. Worked for months !
( * "you are a princess, and princesses don't cry")

Hope you don't mind me gate-crashing so much. Is helping me get my head into baby space smile

blueblackdye Mon 25-Feb-13 22:04:23

Scarecrow, I like your stories, very cute, keep them coming.
BadMiss, with DS, I spoke VietNamese when on my own with him, now he mixes French English and/or Viet Namese, very funny to listen sometimes, esp when he invents his own words, the other day he asked me to tie a knot and said "Maman, est ce que tu peux me tailler le lacet?" It took me 20 sec to understand he combined to tie and verbe a l infinitif ER - tie-er .... Or playing with his cousins "tu dois le die-er, le mechant"
Eagle, yes I hope my culinary efforts will pay off and she won't be a fussy eater, we shall see ! wink
DS went straight to bed after nursery. 6pm, he was fast asleep, with a bit of fever. Fingers crossed it s just tiredness. Just checked, he does not seem to have temperature anymore.
Hope we all sleep well and for a long time tonight.

<crawls onto thread and waves feebly>

<goes to crawl back off then discovers floor is lovely and comfy and falls gently asleep in the middle of lots of lovely conversation>

bytheseaside Tue 26-Feb-13 11:38:01

Poor goat ! We will help you onto comfy sofa

bbd aaah your ds and cute language!

scarecrow you are welcome in here smile love the princess thing, and wish i could do a Brazilian accent

eagleray don't worry about baby books. i buy them then don't get chance to read them ... advice on here is as good

eagleray Tue 26-Feb-13 23:42:27

Poor you, Goat - hope you have the strength to come back again soon. Meanwhile, I hope you're getting lots of rest.

BBD - hope your very clever multi-lingual DS is feeling better now

Scarecrow - am reassured by what you said about your DD not smiling til 5 weeks. I had another enigmatic smile this morning during nappy changing then mostly glaring for the rest of the day nothing to do with the woollen hat I tied onto her head Lovely to see you on here by the way - I gatecrashed loads before Baby Eagle arrived as think it was an important part of the preparations for my new life!

Today I walked into town with baby in sling - overall a success as she didn't fall out and we managed to do some food shopping and also visit an art gallery! I felt vaguely like a human, but then got really hot and tired walking around so treated myself to a bus trip home and then went to bed.

Got my 6 week check coming up in a couple of weeks - feeling a bit depressed about the episiostomy as it still feels a bit funny sad I guess these things take a bit longer than a month to feel normal again?

blueblackdye Wed 27-Feb-13 12:36:35

Eagle, yes episiotomy can slow things down a bit, but 6 weeks in the scale of things is not that long smile You must be proud of getting into town with a 4 week old baby, at that age I did not go anywhere with A, except to the paediatrician !
Well done.
Goat, has baby G agreed with A to be difficult at night ? i think it is a conspiracy
against their Mums. Last night I had to hold her from 8.45pm to 1.30am, it has never been that bad, I tried to put her down several times, awake and sleepy, nothing worked. Of course this morning she woke up at 10.30 ! I don't know when she managed to make me feed her to sleep. But anyhow, I have decided that from now on, she will have to relearn to fall asleep on her own. Starting now, at nap time, at the moment I can hear her playing in her cot and calling me softly.
I have given rice today to A. As I suspected, she is ready for lumpy food, she liked it, opening her mouth wide. But I am still scared of choking.
Work-wise, something has come up, part time bookkeeper and accountant freelance position that could lead to a permanent job, hopefully part time, it is a start up, my former MD has recommended me to these people. I have to look at hourly rate and freelance. Any one has knowledge on freelance ? Advice of any kind is welcome.

blueblackdye Wed 27-Feb-13 12:44:02

Also had a long talk with DH. Managed to stay calm and keep a neutral voice. I think he got it this time that I am a Mum and also a person who deserves respect and support. We agreed on how to tackle some tantrums from DS. 3 first steps: getting dressed by himself in the morning, taking bath after nursery when Mummy says so, falling asleep by himself after book and cuddle. 3 stars a day for a week and he will have a treat on Sunday... He wants a rocket !
DS is feeling better, runny nose and coughing but no more fever... I now have to make sure he does not share his germs with his sister!

scarecrow22 Wed 27-Feb-13 14:28:30

Bbd, well done in the firm, calm chat. Trying to remember how old your DS is- 4? From language def older than my Dd... I was wondering about a star chart for her. Like you would start with positive actions (rather than 'not negatives', which I imagine children find a lot harder to understand).
My sister once read something that interested me: that children take years to understand negative instructions - they tend to hear the 'thing' rather than the "not" - so to try and make instructions 'positive', as in "stay on the pavement" rather than "don't go in the road". No idea if 'scientific', but it makes sense to me.

Eagle grin at description of a successful trip being one where LO does not fall out of sling! Am in awe at your trip. What was gallery exhibition?

Goat, poor poor you. Has it got to point where you can call in proper help - get DP to take time off work and help? Call in a relative? I imagine if you went to Gp they would send you to bed - try that if needed? Anyway, thinking of you and so hope things turn soon.

scarecrow22 Wed 27-Feb-13 14:32:14

PS BBD think Somewhere on the mums-to-be thread is freelance in writing reports etc area, so should have wise advice. Another newer member, CycleCamper, also a nanny taking on odd short jobs at mo so poss also a 'freelance'?

blueblackdye Wed 27-Feb-13 14:37:26

Scarecrow, I will talk to CycleCamper, thank you.wink

scarecrow22 Wed 27-Feb-13 15:23:35

Just realised "Somewhere" not obviously a poster, but she is. I think been freelance for a while. Good luck x

blueblackdye Thu 28-Feb-13 19:56:28

Goat, how are you doing ? Is it getting easier ?
How is every one else ? And the LOs ?
A is 7 months tomorrow, gosh, time has gone so quickly. DS cried tonight because he wanted to be 10 ! What he does not know is that he will be 10 before he realises. I want him to stay my little boy but he is already so grown up. Since Sunday we have trained him to fall asleep on his own, he has to pick a book, reads it on his own, we then come to kiss good night, switch off the light and go. Tonight DH has a work drink, I am on my own, DS has been a good boy and is now fast asleep while I feed A. I can't believe he followed the instructions without protesting. I m so proud of him. I know it seems very casual but from where we came, it is a huge massive improvement. I have to remember to tell him in the morning how proud I am.
Hope I will manage to put A down as easily as that too.
Mr Sandman, please come to all our houses and work your magic on our babies and us.

eagleray Thu 28-Feb-13 22:21:47

Bless your DS BBD - of course he will grow up so quickly. Sounds like you have a fab bedtime routine with him - you've got every right to be proud! I hope DH has improved his behaviour too now?

I'm finding the days are going so fast - very little time to do anything between the feeds and nappy changes. High points this week have been a visit from a sling consultant today who showed me how to tie a soft wrap sling confidently. Also had a visit from a friend last night who had a MMC after several rounds of ivf around the time baby eagle was born. I was devastated for her (she's 43 so you can imagine how tough things have been for her) but she's trying to be positive - it also made me appreciated Baby E that much more as often it can be hard to be positive about things when you get so tired.

This afternoon, we have both passed out on the sofa under a velvet blanket while A Place in the Sun plays on the tv - heaven!

BF seems to be improving - have cut the formula by a little bit and milk production seems to be going up quite a bit. Can certainly express a lot more in a shorter time period, which is exciting! And we've had another weight gain this week - Baby E is tracking the 50th percentile perfectly now, which gives me great confidence in the slightly haphazard feeding routine we have!

Hope you are all having a restful evening

blueblackdye Thu 28-Feb-13 22:41:37

Oh oh Eagle, I am so happy for you, you are doing so well, baby E is thriving, this is fantastic news. Poor friend of yours, she must be devastated, I can't find any word and can only imagine how hard it must be. Tell her not to lose hope. There is a 40+ ttc thread on here, I think.

blueblackdye Thu 28-Feb-13 22:42:42

Yes, DH behaves better too. I m glad that peace is back at home !

bytheseaside Thu 28-Feb-13 23:30:03

hello smile we're fine too! very sleepy day today after busy day yesterday. Also seem to be feeding at least hourly

good work baby eagle and bbd's little boy

blueblackdye Sat 02-Mar-13 21:45:49

Good evening Ladies, time flies so quickly, hardly have a sec to post. How are you all doing ? Nothing to report on my side.
Weighed A, she is 7 months and 7.74kg, slightly above the 50th centile, all normal. She is definitively happy to eat lumpy food, still enjoys chewing brocolis florets, had egg noodles with sesame oil, salmon, avocado, fusili this week. I find it hard to find menu ideas. Or is it because my brain is frozen or out of order !!! She seems to have cut down her milk intake too, of course I don't know for sure as she is still BF. but she spends less time on breast at lunch time and 3.30/4pm. This is very new for me as DS was mix-fed. Can't remember which bottle he dropped first.
Lost 1.5 kg of pre pg weight, I just don't enjoy food as much as before! What is wrong with me?
Off to bed. Good night all

eagleray Mon 04-Mar-13 20:49:26

Gosh - bit quiet in here of late?

I hope everyone is busy resting or sleeping peacefully smile

Great to hear that the adventures in food are continuing for Anastasia, BBD

Seaside - hope the hourly feeding has subsided!

We've had quite a busy day - drove to a shopping mall at lunchtime and managed a BF session sat in the car park, accompanied by a takeaway latte and cake! I forgot the changing bag though and while we were at the till in Boots Baby E managed to do an almighty fart and poo session which stunk the place out!

This afternoon we went for a nice walk in the woods with the sling (have had a lesson from a sling consultant now in tying it so Baby E wasn't in danger of falling out this time). It's funny how people respond to seeing a baby in sling - lots of smiles and a few people chatted to me in the park too - bit like having a dog I suppose..

Looks like we will have a few new joiners soon as there's rather a lot of due dates this month - looking forward to seeing the newbies on here!

blueblackdye Tue 05-Mar-13 10:54:21

It is indeed very quiet on here. Also hope it means rest and sleep for every one. On my side, A has been very difficult to settle lately. We had a better night yesterday but she did wake up a few times to feed, every 4 hours, just like a newborn ! Had DS slept, I would have had slept better!
But it is glorious today so we are out for a long walk in the Heath. Gosh, so many Mums with LO around here....
We ought to organise a meet up this month, before Goat resumes to work.
Hugs to every one

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