Pregnancy X birth X parenting: Are those processes related??(8 Posts)
First I would like to greet you all and say that I am VERY excited and happy to be here. I am completely new to Mumsnet ( or any other mums' forum etc). This is the first time I ever write on a forum so I am a bit nervous and excited at the same time. It feels like the first day at school! Any tips on how to do it welcome pls!!! Okay..., let me be brave and give it a try!
I've been thinking about how all the "becoming a mum" processes could possibly be related. Birth, Pregancy and Motherhood.
Personally, I think the way my pregnancy was is related and affected my labor, my whole birth experience, that affected my postpartum experience and all that reflects the way I've been coping with motherhood and parenting my child. I feel there is a connection there, what do you think? Would you like to briefly share your own experiences?
I can see that happens some of my friends as well but would love to hear more opinions and experiences. That would help me understand this as I would really like to write about it one day...!
If no time or no mood for much writing, simply 3 words discribing :_
1) your pregnancy ( or the memory you have about it),
2) your birth experience/ labor,
3)the mum you are now/ or how you've been coping with motherhood/ or how mother have been treating you.
That would more than do!
1) Pregancey. I was very bad at it. Spent most of it being told to lie down.
2) Birth. I was very bad at it. It hurt. A lot. They would not give me drugs due to hospital policy of no painfree births. Finally got a c-sec just at the point where I was going to do it myself eith a rusty hairgrip.
3) Motherhood. Muddled through the early bit. Hit my stride at 4ish. Bit less muddling, due to child not constantly banging its head, jumping off things and running into roads any more. Would have been nice if he had slept through the night before 6 bleeding years old, but all things considered he is a lovely kid and hasn't tested my parenthood limitations too much. Was born that way, cannot take credit. Love being a mum of 12 yo boy. It Is brilliant. Think I am pretty good at it, most of the time, probably. Slight aprehension about the teenage bit cos of a "potential nemisis" issues.
4) Subsequant children. None. Please see "birth" section.
3. Impossibly hard work
1. Piece of cake
2. It'll happen one way or the other, and it's not you who decides how
1. Hard work as puked for 17 weeks but actually loved the feeling of being pregnant and having my baby inside me.
2. Not too traumatic - 13hr labour, epidural, head coming out rather awful but quick.
3. Loved it but have struggled and lost the plot at times - first with ds's feeding difficulties as a baby / infant and repeated hospital admissions. Then with worrying about him and being a complete wuss when it comes to him having needles, falling and hurting himself etc. I have to force myself not to be anxious about him charging round the park or riding his bike and doing normal boy things. He is now 4 and we have lots of fun together.
4. 2nd preg the same as my first but even harder work as dh working very long hours and I had 3yo ds to chase too. Also hospitalised with chest pain which thankfully turned out not to be serious. 2nd birth worse than first! Very fast 3 hours total, dd flew out with her hand up by her head and no time for me to have any pain relief. I am much more chilled out mother this time round though.
The three have nothing to do with each other, except in the simplest cause-and-effect manner.
Thanks guys for taking some time to get back to this post. It is so incredible to see imagine that i can comunicate with other mums and get to know so many different opinions about the same thing!- it sounds obvious but very exciting for me. THANKS!!!
1. I enjoyed pregnancy once the sickness stopped at 20 weeks. Loved my massive bump. Hated the last 3 weeks. But it was Easy.
2. Middling - it was fucking painful. But I did it.
3. Had PND and psychotic episodes in the months following LO's birth. I was convinced he wasn't mine (couldn't remember birth), so spent the first 5 months 'going through the motions' until his 'real mum' would come and get him. Now, at 9 months, love him to bits, and feel like I'm a bloody brilliant mother. And he is gorgeous!
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