It does get easier??

[Roopoo]

Hi
Just looking for reassurance more than anything. I had bad pnd last time so any memories are a little fuzzy.

DS is nearly 10 weeks old.
He has just recently started crying more for no apparent reason.
I'm a doer and find it so hard not to be able to do anything as the second I leave his side he cries. I.E sterilising, having a wee etc..
To be honest and I know this will sound awful. I hate it. I think it is soul destroying. I feel like im on a leash.
Im not depressed as Im aware of the signs etc but feel sad a lot and have a frustrated cry in the shower when DH comes home.

I know it's awful and I should be grateful for what I have but Im thinking about going back to work early. DH thinks it will get easier but I just seem to have a constant headache and brain fug.

Sorry I sound like a bitch. I know I should be loving it but im not.
Does it get easier?!

Obviously it does as my DD who is 4 is amazing now but I just need reassurance...
Ramble over....

[Roopoo]

I should add that Im pretty crap at reading his tired signs.
Ive also failed at establishing any kind of routine.
I think the only thing I have realised is that I am missing my maternal gene....

[Loislane78]

Gets easier :). I'm still tired but at 20 wks it's wayyyyyy easier than it was (for me anyway). Don't beat yourself up - its really hard and no one will think you're anything other than human for feeling like that.

I think crying does start peaking around that time and then settles a lot so hang on in there :)

Perhaps a slight change in mindset, I'm a doer as well and understand how it's frustrating but you need a huge reduction in expectations of what you can achieve on a day or else it could get you down.

Wouldn't worry about routines too much yet. Look out for little yelps and obviously yawning for tired signs. Theycan't stay awake more than say an hour, 1.5 max. at that age (sometimes less) so try that maybe.

Post back, there's always loads of useful advice on here :)

[SquidgersMummy]

Honestly the crying and ability to cope without mum for a few mins does get better - sling or carrier will save your sanity and babies love watching hoovering, doing laundry and the like. I do think it's just something you also get used to. And you get amazingly quick at doing stuff in any free time. I am a doer - honestly leaving the baby right now won't work - its hard to think of it as such but your baby is just really bright - but with very limited memory - so feels vulnerable when you're not there - sling etc helps or take the car seat or a nest type seat with you so you can sing and clap etc whilst doing stuff - I even had an audience on the loo! More secure baby feels not better in long run. I too shed many tears in the shower when DH came home. Did me good. It's bloody hard work - but it does get easier. Hugs xx

[waterrat]

it gets much, much easier and so much better and more fun.

EVerything you describe is fleeting - temporary and part of the newborn phase.

I was talking with my NCT friends today about what a relief it is that now they can sit up (they are all 8 months) and play on the floor - and starting to crawl - basically they are not interested in mum now, they play indepndently for long enough to get coffee/ talk/ check emails!

you know as you already have one...that part where they cry randomly ends at about 3 months...well, it gets better and better .....looking back it was such a short time...so glad it's over!

[GemmaReeto]

It most definitely gets easier. I think I cried most days for the first 4/5 months. I felt exactly like you. No one prepared me for the fact that babies just cry even if you have done all you can practically do for them. The clingyness can be suffocating.
My LO is 13 months now. She has been in and out of clingy stages to be honest but its MUCH easier now she can follow me about.
Just hang on in there!

[Tolly81]

Yes definitely easier. I can't say I enjoyed the first few months but enjoy it much more now. You put a lot in at the start and dont get much back, especially with a clingy baby. A lot of the crying stuff gets better at about 3 months. If you're a doer then a sling would definitely help you feel better and get stuff done, even if it's just having a cup of tea! Also as pp said get a safe sitter thing - I got a cheapy one from mamas and papas for 20 quid which had a vibrate function which seemed to calm her down and sat her in it while I had a shower and got dressed, singing and clapping like a mad thing but it kept her entertained long enough for me to feel a bit more human!

[debbie1412]

Roopoo
We have dc2 9wks, no routine not even close, won't self settle or be left for any amount of time to get a few jobs done. You'll be fine, il be fine, we'l all be fine. It's just bloody hard work right now. Oh and my house is a tip. X

[sharond101]

It gets better than easier, it gets fun. My DS was so clingy he wouldn't tolerate me leaving him so I could go to the toilet. I felt trapped. He wanted held and amused all the time. My niece, born shortly after DS, was the opposite and it made me feel worse. Now he is becoming more independent and I so much appreciate a little space to do things that need done. He is so much fun to play with and we interact so well. He is still clingy but that can be sweet too as it shows he still needs me so much.

The thing that helped me at that stage was encouraging a nap routine. After 1hr 30mins of wake time I put him down for a nap. This reduced the crying and gave me some way of knowing there will be a time I can do x,y or z.

[Roopoo]

Just managed to nip on and see these replies.
Thanks think I was having a really bad day when I wrote the original post.
Still dont enjoy this phase but am not as desperate as I was on Friday..

Now if I could just encourage him to nap in his basket rather than on me then I could start getting stuff done