Are you more or less happy after having children?

(111 Posts)
Jac1978 Thu 20-Dec-12 21:06:14

Honest answers please!

FamiliesShareGerms Thu 20-Dec-12 21:12:25

Different happy!

Bluestocking Thu 20-Dec-12 21:14:32

More happy.

vix206 Thu 20-Dec-12 21:14:32

Definitely happier. But also more tired and less self focused. You have to let a lot of 'me' stuff go, at least while they are small. But without a doubt, happier grin

ValiumQueen Thu 20-Dec-12 21:16:24

Much much happier, but also incredibly tired and lots to worry about including how desperately sad I would be if anything happened to one of my kids. DC3 is only 8 weeks and not well so the tiredness is not a constant. Oh and much less money, but money does not compare to the joy of little arms outstretched saying I wuv oo mummy, accompanies by a wet snotty kiss with a faint aroma of piss.

ginmakesitallok Thu 20-Dec-12 21:16:41

My children have given me some of the happiest moments of my life - they've also caused the most worry, made me tired and grumpy at times and given me grey hairs. But the happy times are worth it. (Then again, I didn't have children solely to make me happier - that would never have worked!)

hazeyjane Thu 20-Dec-12 21:18:33

The happiness I have is a more intense happy than anything else I have experienced, but the so is the anxiety (and exhaustion).

jinglebellyalltheway Thu 20-Dec-12 21:19:55

More content in a way,
but never since having kids have I felt that pure carefree happiness, where you're just in the moment and blissed out - there's always the worry, about now and about the future and about the world your kids will live in etc

icovetthee Thu 20-Dec-12 21:20:09

I'm very happy but I do have more to worry about. On one hand my children are the best thing that has ever happened to me. On the other I am anxious about their health and well being, I have less money, less time and less sleep.

If I could do it all over would I do it the same way? 100% grin

QTPie Thu 20-Dec-12 21:21:57

As a previous poster said "different happy".

Much more fulfilled, but much less freedom.... Wouldn't change it and would like a second DC... Wish that I had had them earlier (because life is too short and I wish that I had more time to enjoy him/them, but then I am almost 39....).

Dromedary Thu 20-Dec-12 21:21:59

Huge amount of fear, worry and guilt. The responsibility is too great, especially if you get something wrong which has long term implications.
A lot of frustration, not being able to do what you would like to be doing, etc.
Very hard work.
Very expensive.
Not a good time to bring children into the world.
Others have already described the upsides.

scotlass Thu 20-Dec-12 21:25:45

Definitely more happy. Agree about never having the carefree blissful feeling and always having the worry about the here and now and my DCs future. DH and I definitely have less time for each other but probably appreciate each other more now.
Simple things make me really happy now and I love seeing my children grow and blossom into their own characters.

Fishandjam Thu 20-Dec-12 21:29:04

Different happy, definitely - a kind of deep, intense joy. Generally when the little buggers are asleep.

IPreferCats Thu 20-Dec-12 21:30:48

Less happy.

I think in the long term it will change but right now definitely less happy than I was before.

What about you OP?

FergusSingsTheBlues Thu 20-Dec-12 21:31:22

Despite all the good times and the joy probably Less. Sorry. I havent slept properly in two years and this is probably the biggest factor. Second due in feb. Think it has brought out the worst in me.

Fishandjam Thu 20-Dec-12 21:32:05

PS QTPie, I managed to slalom DC2 into the world a couple of months before I hit 39, with DC1 2.5 years earlier. And I know plenty of 40+ who've done it too. So you have time yet...

brainonastick Thu 20-Dec-12 21:34:48

Both

More happy when I'm with them

Less happy in the rest of my life - restrictions on my life/loss of freedom (stuck in hated job, can't go on decent holiday, very little quality time with dh, knackered, unfit, little time for hobbies or pottering).

Wow, that's a long list of negatives (and I could go on). But the one positive (spending time with the dc) outweighs all that.

brainonastick Thu 20-Dec-12 21:36:09

Well, I think it does anyway smile

Tigresswoods Thu 20-Dec-12 21:36:33

Complete & happy

Gilberte Thu 20-Dec-12 21:42:08

On a good day, I feel very happy and proud. On a bad day much less happy.

I'm a person who cries a lot but I think I cry more now.
I am much more neurotic now.

Wallison Thu 20-Dec-12 21:42:37

Definitely happier. More so than I would have imagined. I also even get that 'blissed-out in the moment' happiness talked about upthread, which I haven't had since, well, since I was a child myself I suppose. It doesn't happen all the time, because I am a worrier by nature and now my worries are two-fold and more urgent. But every now and again, when we're mucking around doing stuff or being daft together, it will come, just because I get so caught up in his happiness and he makes me forget myself.

Without wanting to sound too precious/flowery/ick, when that happens it kind of humbles me that he can make the world seem so wonderful.

TheCountessOlenska Thu 20-Dec-12 21:44:24

Happier. Having children filled in a missing piece for me, I feel complete. (and obviously knackered, worried, stressed, trapped etc etc grin )

NagooHoHoHo Thu 20-Dec-12 21:45:11

more happy.

But I did see a pretty boy wearing a 'lets go somewhere and make bad decisions' t-shirt, and I really missed those bad old days. I'd love to be a bit less responsible.

I am a different sort of happy too.

Pretty much as brainonastick said to be honest.

I am happy with my family life, love my kids more than anything in the whole world but I do miss being young and free too!

Yama Thu 20-Dec-12 21:47:18

More. 1000 times more. (Was lonely before.)

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