Does guilt go hand in hand with being a parent?

(6 Posts)
Coffeeessential Wed 05-Dec-12 11:32:31

Since having my daughter 8 years ago, I am constantly worrying about the kind of parent I am and whether I am doing the best for her...in fact, I seem to spend most of my time feeling guilty for something or other. My greatest fear is her turning to me as an adult and telling me I have done a bad job.
My husband doesn't worry and feel guilty like this - he just gets on with it! Does anyone else spend their lives feeling guilty? And does it ever go away?

nananaps Wed 05-Dec-12 11:36:57

YES!! Frankly!
Guilt guilt guilt guilt at every turn!

I think its because you care so much about doing it all right.

General rule of thumb for me in my head is that i am doing a good job if i am not doing anything that my parents did sad.

BlueberryHill Wed 05-Dec-12 13:21:08

Not too that extent, moments every now and then.

I subscribe to the 'good enough' parenting idea plus someone in America, Shermer? who ways that within a given range of normal parenting i.e. not abusive, your children will turn out fine. Try to feel less guilty, take a lead from your DH and enjoy it more.

I feel guilty a lot too.

Especially for DD1 who I had with my ex. So DD2 has her mum and dad together but DD1 gets shipped off two nights a week to an utter prick. I worry she feels left out or that she doesnt know I love her or that she doesnt see how hard Im trying to give her a good life.

I don't really, and when I do, it's just fleeting. I am only human - thats what I will tell their psychologists!

I think they are shaped more than by just me and as long as I'm in the good area, which most parents are, then that's fine.

niceupthedance Wed 05-Dec-12 14:20:42

Only on the rare occasions when I am going out on a jolly and he doesn't want me to.

Other stuff I don't have a choice about.

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