Is it wrong to have my two older children sleeping in my room? Or is this Ok?

(17 Posts)
RooneyMara Fri 23-Nov-12 11:44:53

I'm a single parent and I'm expecting dc3 in a few weeks. I've been on my own since about 8 weeks into the pregnancy.

My other children are 5 and 9 and they both have wanted to sleep near me for as long as I can remember - I was still co sleeping with the 5yo anyway so that has pretty much carried on, though he has his own bunk in the other bedroom, and ds1 has the top bunk in there.

Sometimes they both sleep in the other room, but last week I decided that rather than have them ask all the time, and try to share my double bed with both of them - which never works, as ds1 is too big now and there isn't enough room - I'd put an extra single bed in there too, so they can both be a few feet closer than when they're in their own room.

It's a huge room - bit more crowded now, of course, but it's about 20ft long including bay window and maybe 14 wide, though a lot of the way along it's narrower because of built in cupboards, en suite etc.

So we have the double along one wall, then the single right behind it 'head to toe'.

Also there is a cot in there now! Not much room really.

But I wondered if this is Ok of if, God forbid, the HV or midwife saw this arrangement and was shocked - well would they be shocked? Would they think it was overcrowding, and bad for the children?

As I said they have their own room across the hallway, but they just seem to want to be in with me atm. I imagine they might beat a retreat once dc3 arrives due to noise and getting woken up all the time smile

Thoughts appreciated x

RooneyMara Fri 23-Nov-12 12:35:33

Is this just too boring smile

sorry. Just wanted to be sure it's not frowned on, iyswim

I think it's fine!

As long as you're ok with it I don't see a problem with it.

brainonastick Fri 23-Nov-12 12:57:03

I can't see why it would be frowned upon, it's how most of the worlds population sleep.

Your older two have their own space if they want it, and mum if they want you. So long as you're all getting enough sleep, sounds fine to me.

RooneyMara Fri 23-Nov-12 13:00:27

oh thankyou all thanks

I feel better now - reassured!

Yes we all sleep better I think, funnily enough... no more long-legged-child-at-end-of-bed scenario grin

Leafmould Fri 23-Nov-12 13:29:46

The dc have a choice about where to sleep. That is not overcrowding. As long as they get enough sleep and are happy with the arrangement, I can't think what justification anyone could use to frown at you!

Good luck with the baby.

Pyrrah Fri 23-Nov-12 21:26:04

Millions of people across the world have this arrangement.

Independent sleep is the stranger choice tbh and only really pushed in Western countries for some unknown reason.

fattybum Fri 23-Nov-12 23:59:50

Mine are 4 and 6 year old boys, both in with me. Main reason is cos we live in a one bedroom flat, but I reckon we could be in a four bed house and they'd still be in with me! It works for us.

ZZZenAgain Sat 24-Nov-12 00:03:26

I think it is ok, if it is what you all want. Don't really see how it concerns the midwife or HV

RooneyMara Sat 24-Nov-12 06:49:21

Thanks, guys.

I guess I am already worried that people will think badly of me, having another baby in a two bedroom house. I've been asked if we'll have enough room, by one of the teachers, and took it as a bit of a hint - obviously I'm clearing out a lot of stuff, but I worry about ds1 needing his privacy as he approaches teenagerhood and I'm stuck as to what to do when that becomes a problem. (except move of course - but I doubt we could afford anywhere bigger)
I'm really glad that no one on here is being judgy about it or concerned, they do seem to sleep really well, big boy in the single bed and 5yo still in with me at the moment...then when babykins arrives I suppose 9yo will go back in his room for some peace and 5yo can go in the single! (I hope)

Fatty I think you're right, even if we did have extra rooms they would probably want to do the same thing smile so I'm glad that the big room is big enough, iyswim.

Bonsoir Sat 24-Nov-12 06:58:11

I think it's fine - what matters (the only thing that matters) is that everyone gets a good night's sleep and wakes refreshed in the morning. I think that independent sleeping can often help with that, which is why it is promoted, but I don't personally attach any sort of necessity to it.

FWIW my DD co-slept with us until she was almost five, and she still (aged 8) sleeps in a room that has a connecting door with ours, which we leave open. Her head is only centimetres from mine at night - there is just a wall/bedhead between us.

RooneyMara Sat 24-Nov-12 07:03:13

That sounds nice, Bonsoir.

Ds1 did go to sleep in his own bedroom from when he started school, really - so at 5ish. It was fine...it's just that I've been a bit ill through this pregnancy and I think he feels concerned, and needs to be nearer, like children do if their parents are ill or in pain etc. (it's the wrong way round - he shouldn't be worrying about me - but he does)

I hope it will all settle down once the baby is here.

Bonsoir Sat 24-Nov-12 07:14:52

Good luck smile and carry on sleeping wherever you all sleep best!

RooneyMara Sat 24-Nov-12 07:17:32

Thanks smile

aw your DS sounds a really caring little boy, bless him.

All sounds fine to me, you do what you have to do to get sleep!

RooneyMara Sat 24-Nov-12 09:13:59

Yes he is a proper gem smile

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