Sleep advice please!!!

(12 Posts)
AmIGoingMad Thu 22-Nov-12 08:38:24

Hello! Our 22 month DS is fabulous but for the last month sleeping all night in his cot is not happening!he was I'll a few weeks ago so ended up in bed with us for a few nights. Now, every night he wakes and works himself up to the point of being sick sometimes to come into our bed. I know it's our own fault but need to do something to resolve this- I'm 9 wks pregnant and struggling and DH is brilliant but its draining us both. We were taking him into bed for an easy life but none of us get any sleep when he comes in. We're both working so need to function in the day too! Last night tried sleeping on futon in his room when he woke to at least get him to stay in own bed all night- we still had major dramatics and am aware I'm probably just creating a different problem!!!!
Sorry this is long! Please help! X

HardlyEverHoovers Thu 22-Nov-12 08:52:04

Hi, I'm going through the same thing. My DS is the same age and has been a good sleeper mostly, but a holiday seems to have disrupted him. I used to put him in his cot and leave him and he'd go to sleep after a little cry and much chattering, then he'd wake up once in the night, i'd feed him and put him back in his cot where he'd snuggle down and go to sleep (I know lots of people would not feed him at this point but I didn't mind).
Now he screams blue murder at being put in his cot, and it took 5 hours last night to get him to sleep! In those 5 hours I looked at the Gradual Withdrawal Method (you can google it) which seemed a better option than controlled crying (also we have had compaint from neighbours about crying!).
This involved creating a step by step plan towards independant sleep. So for example on night 1 you could put him back in his cot when he is fast asleep, night 2 when he is drowsy and hold his hand until he's asleep, and so on until you are at the point you want to be at.
My DS eventually fell asleep last night holding my hand as I lay curled up on the floor next to the cot!

QTPie Thu 22-Nov-12 11:39:55

I would persevere with the "sleeping in his room" thing (that is what we have done through teething/illness/jetlag - as soon as DS is "over" the problem, he sleeps through again: secure and happy in his own room... But we are always prepared to go back in if need be). Then, if he doesn't start settling again naturally, look at something along the lines of the "gradual withdrawal method" that HEH suggests above (SuperNanny uses something similar).

The most important thing is to get him feeling secure and confident in his own room again smile

AmIGoingMad Thu 22-Nov-12 18:00:34

Thank you! I'm going to stick to the futon tonight and look into the gradual thing. I'm just so shattered I'm desperate for a good nights sleep! Please do keep the advice coming and thank you for responses so far! smile

Marmiteisyummy Thu 22-Nov-12 18:15:17

Just the age my DS started with this. For him it was the time of imagination development and he was getting nightmares and became scared of the dark, having slept all his life in a pitch black room.
Night light really helped (we used a gro clock which has become invaluable fro extending morning wakings too now, ds 2.5).
Also, have you thought about putting him in a bed? Advantage would be that he could wander to you before working himself up and you can then either put him back to bed and wait with him while he falls asleep (or get in if you buy a single (which IMHO is def the way to go!!)) then go back to your own room, or let him stay til he falls asleep and then return him. we did gradual withdrawal in the evenings for getting him settled and cuddles overnight. Disadvantages of a bed are pretty obvious but you have to bite the bullet at some point!
FWIW, ds now goes to sleep on his own, from fully awake and sleeps though til about 6. I did find that the quicker I got to him when he woke, the quicker he went back to sleep.
If you go with the bed option then these cot bumpers are brilliant.

Very best of luck, sleep deprivation is soul-destroying.

Marmiteisyummy Thu 22-Nov-12 18:19:11

Oh and some sort of light/stars projector like this is also very reassuring.

AmIGoingMad Thu 22-Nov-12 19:19:12

Thanks! Both products look great too. Yes- I've been wondering if we're at the bed stage! He has a cotbed at the moment with sides still up as a cot. Umming and ahhing about turning that into a bed or buying a single straight off- we'll end up using the cotbed as a cot for dc2 and whilst that is a long way off- only 9 wks pg. now!- maybe if we go straight for the single he'll b less likely to think new baby has stolen his bed when the time comes! So many things to think of in this sleep deprived haze!!! He's just gone down now tho so I'm going to have majorly early night to pre empt any night issues!!!

AmIGoingMad Fri 23-Nov-12 19:49:27

Last night not great- even with one of us in room on futon he's still crying for hugs/ wanting us to rub bk. we are very tactile with him in the day so it's not like he's trying to get hugs at night cos he doesn't get them in the day. Have tried a Thomas nightlight now- hoping that will help a bit!

Marmiteisyummy Sat 24-Nov-12 20:40:39

Any better with a night light?
Don't despair you will get there, he may just be going through a very clingy phase.
Having done the cot to bed thing I'd definitely start by just taking one side off the cotbed. The sides make the child feel quite secure and I made the mistake of taking both off straightaway. See how it goes and then make the next step taking the other side off, then single bed, just make sure it's a low one like this one or this one (I took ages to choose between these!).
Be prepared for the inevitable excitement of being able to get out of bed. Took my DS about 6weeks to settle easily in the evenings and not constantly try to get up (sorry). Everything I've read suggests any bed changes should be at least 3 months before new dc arrives, one of the reasons I stuck with it (20+1 so I feel your pain on the exhaustion front!).
Good luck. Keep reminding yourself that the day will come when you have to drag him out of bed to go to school....

AmIGoingMad Mon 26-Nov-12 07:26:03

We've had to abandon plan at the moment as poor DS now has that evil sickness diarrhoea bug! It's madness here at the moment. Really struggling and in tears most of the time. Going to docs today to c if he can sort me out x

Marmiteisyummy Mon 26-Nov-12 18:26:24

Oh I'm sorry that sounds awful. Glad you've gone to see doc, hope they can help. Just do whatever you have to do to survive. You could always cosleep with one of those bumpers (or a rolled up towel) under the sheet to give your DS a bit of separated room in the bed, so you get kicked less!

You'll feel better in a few weeks too, 9/10 weeks was the peak of my pregnancy hell this time (so far).

Wishing you well

AmIGoingMad Tue 27-Nov-12 15:19:16

Thanks for your words of kindness and support. Been signed off work for 2 wks to start with as on edge of burnout. Now have the evil bug myself too but at least one things been removed from my brain- to do list for a little bit .
Thanks again x

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