DD(8) is usually fairly calm and sensible, model student etc. but whenever she has friends to play she totally changes and is loud, cheeky and rude. I understand there is an element of showing off in this and I not saying I don't want her to have fun but it has got o the point where I dread her having friends to play. I have observed her with her friends and see that she is the ringleader to any madness so i cant blame them. We have talked about it and she realises she has behaved badly but then does exactly the same next time. I was planning on having her birthday party at home this year but I'm just dreading her behaviour will just ruin everything. Any suggestions welcome
Oh - how far away is her party? I would tell her that before you even consider having a party for her anywhere she has to prove that she can behave & if you have a party & she misbehaves then they will all get sent home - party or no party.
Of course they get a bit silly when they have friends around - but rude & cheeky are not acceptable.
I have tried the ultimatum thing 'behave or they go home' and eventually things do calm down. As I said she is normally no trouble but the silliness just gets out of hand. I feel like horrible shouty mum whenever friends come around.
Her birthday is in 2 months and I'm having serious second thoughts after today's experience with just one for a play date!
I think that you need to make it very clear that when you say it, you mean it. Tell her, before the next play date, that "one warning, then they go home" (you might want warn he parents if they have to collect that they are likely to be needed early). Might be worth reminding everybody that this is what you will do when they arrive (your DD, her friends, the parents).
Then, once she starts misbehaving, give your ONE WARNING and then send them home (no back tracking). Sounds like she needs to know that you mean business.
Don't think that you need to get "shouty": just be very calm, very clear of the consequences, be firm and follow through with what you have threatened.