Thanks for responding Trixie... i'd left this thread to lie because I felt it was just a surge of anger... but I'm sitting here while dh actually does some of the bloomin homework project with ds... the first bit he's really helped with. They're doing a powerpoint together. Oh no they're not, dh is typing it all and doing all the actual computer stuff because if ds does it 'it'll take ages'. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh. I've GOT to talk to dh about this but how can I do it without throwing the computer at his head? Still not sure if I'm being unreasonable. I'm out at work all day, dh does the turning the telly on childcare after school.
oh dear, how much time does he spend with him? Does he have any opportunity to see how other 8 year olds behave? I sometimes have to remind my DH that DS is only 3 and that whatever it is he is doing is fairly typical, because I get to see the others at pre-school, soft play etc whereas his exposure is rather less. I have also had to bite back the odd expletive, once he was giving DD breakfast and she was howling. It turns out he was denying her juice because she wouldn't say please. She's 18months!!! She has lots of words actually but only parrots them, doesn't really get context, so had no way of knowing why she wasn't getting the juice.
Leaving aside the enormous amount of screen time he gives ds while I'm at work. Leaving aside the fact that if ds starts playing a noisy game, he gets about 5 seconds before dh says 'shhh'. Tonight he suggested that ds might want to make his Tudor homework project about an interesting but perhaps slightly obscure point of Tudor legal procedure. It took a lot of effort for me not to go 'For fuck's sake, ds is EIGHT YEARS OLD you tosser.'