Mumsnet Talk

I am a head of year. Earrings can cause injury to others or be ripped out of ears no matter what the size and that's why many schools ban them. Most schools publish their policy on earrings and it's no difficulty for a parent to check with school before letting kids have ears pierced. I have had my fair share of girls in my office refusing to take newly pierced earrings out. We had a fab school nurse who took no nonsense and had them whipped out in no time! If you can't face doing it your self then go to the school nurse, nurse at your gp or some other gutsy professional. Your daughter is playing on your anxiety and your reluctance is only feeding her fear.

My daughter was 5 when I got her ears pierced. I had to wait 8 weeks before she'd let me near them. Even then, it took me two nights of loosening them and taking them out (whilst she was asleep). It was no fun. But like you say op, it's more the fact that it hurts them rather than playing up. I do agree with other posters though, that you will have to stand firm in the end if she is missing so much PE because of it. My daughters school were fine with pierced ears, so thankfully I had less pressure to take them out.

Just to add, I had to hold the head of the stud firmly while I twisted and gently pulled the butterfly clip at the back.

Good luck!

If they hurt then they are not healing well. More reason to get them out and not put them back in.

Ears are quite sensitive. I gave up wearing earrings for pierced ears years ago as they hurt sometimes. I think the best solution out of all these is to take her back to the place that did the piercings and get them to remove the earrings and leave them out till she is 21.

OP, the first earrings have really thick posts and can be much more stiff to take the butterflies off
Some thoughts :
Give her another pair of studs to practice with the butterfly on and off - it's hard to visualize what's going on in your ear lobe / round the back
If you help or do it for her, let her hold a mirror to see what you are doing
Have another, new pair of studs ready to put in straight away
Consider buying a new pair as bribery
Try an ice cube in a hankie to numb her lobe (probably just be a distraction but worth a try!)
If at all possible, have someone trusted but not you to have a go - only because we tend to respond better to someone less 'close' in situations like this (eg driving lessons from your parents...)
Have something intensely distracting on tv while you have a go at getting them out
Explain that if they don't come out she's obviously not ready for earrings etc etc.

Good luck.

When I read posts like this, I realise how different parenting styles can be.

This is very very different from mine. There would have been no peirced ears in the first place, but that is not the issue.

Missing p.e. for weeks

I can confidently say that it would never have got this far, but if it for some bizarre reason it had got this far, I would limit every treat going, everything. There would be no tv, no playdates, no sweets, no after school activities, no treats whatsoever in any form or fashion at all.. until those bloody earring are out. Added to which, I would say, if I take them out before the end of the day, then she can get her ears peirced when she is 13. Otherwise it will be much later.

As for ruling the roost? It makes me feel anxious even thinking of that ever happening in my house. Just like my parents, they were most parents rather than friends. My goodness, you did not play around with them. On the other hand, they were the most wonderful, loving, consistent,msupportive parents I could have hoped for. Don't get bogged down in thinking that your daughter will love you more if you don't discipline her firmly. As my mother used to say, I am your mother first and foremost, your friend a distant second.

Are they out? <hopeful>