Fantastic 40+ Mums

(1000 Posts)
Hpbp Wed 10-Oct-12 19:57:03

Mum of 2, DS1 nearly 4yo and DD2 almost 11 weeks. I hope to find here advices from experienced mums so that I can avoid mistakes... I made some with DS1 and my life sometimes is hell, it is hard to unlearn wrong behaviour, so hard.
At the time being, DD2 is a very sweet baby, she is easy to decipher, cries are always related to some kind of discomfort and I managed to learn what they mean, or almost. Only one issue with her ATM is that she rejects bottle feeding even with expressed milk. I'd like to be able to escape a bit from the house to get a haircut or a facial. And I am sure DH would like to feed her sometimes too.
I struggle a bit more with DS1, who is usually a good boy, energetic, happy and loving. But after school, getting him to take his bath is a battle and falling and staying asleep all night are big issues. The problems did exist before but now with the recent arrival of his sister, the intensity has increased. Or maybe they are the same but to me they seem bigger and need to be addressed quickly so that I can look after both without raising my voice.
All advice are welcome. I need help here.

Also I'd like to invite all the graduates from the Fantastic 40+ Mums to be thread to join. You have been truly fantastic and so supportive during my pg. I hope to be able to keep on sharing with you this wonderful parenting adventure.

10000Fireflies Sat 12-Jan-13 11:38:16

Morning all!

BFF having an uncharacteristically early nap - from 0945-1130 so far. Managed to get loads of housework done! Yay!! RocknRoll. Though with idiot neighbour banging around in garden not sure how long sleep will last.

BBD thanks for the invite. I will see how I feel nearer the time, if that is ok. Amongst other things, my Mum is threatening to come up and 'help' this week. Usually such visits get rather fraught as we have different ideas of what is healthy eating, and she is also not able to do as much as she used to (to be expected at 77), but it makes her remarkably tired and when she gets like this also becomes a bit weird and bitchy!

I will keep everything crossed for you too Madmiss and Scuba. Someone else has said the same already, but I will repeat that even by the four week mark you are already past a lot of the worst risks. This is because the stats include pregancies which fail before many women know they are pregnant. I know it doesn't make sense when I put it down in writing, but I trust the friend who told me this as she works in a related field.

Madmiss you must have had a very glamorous time in Paris by the sounds of it. I have barely heard of 'Strictly Kosher' though.

Oh, another famous sighting which made me giggle - Nigel Havers jogging past. I am sure he was just out for some attention. And there is a comedian too who's a bit crap and whose name escapes me every time. Goat I'm in West London which is why I associate with such glitterati. grin

Goat well done on getting the kid into cot!! DH and I figure that every minute BFF is in cot is better than being in our bed.

I have been reading sleep threads which is useful. I am trying to work out what it the best sleep pattern to work towards to DS.

Big hugs for seaside. Sounds really tough. Am I right, was she prem? Do they adjust the dates for jabs in those cases? Have you any more to go or is this the last one?

How's LRM? You've been quiet the past few days. And Fjord. What about everyone else.? Well, better get on and make the most of this mega-nap or I'll be cross with myself. Catch up later. FF xx Damn. He's awake. Oh well. V cute little gurglings coming from cot.

13.5 hours in the cot. shock got up four times to him but that's not bad for the first night I think. And if he hasn't insisted that bedtime was 5pm rather than his usual 7 I could have slept until 8!! Roll on! And DH was in our bed for the first time since August...
Jabs are at real age not adjusted, ff as they reckon prems need it probably more than full termers. They will even do them in hospital if the baby is not yet discharged. The only bummer is not being able to use calpol until the weight is up enough (we were fine by the third lot). Am not looking forward to the BCG in February though.
seaside that sounds exhausting.

blueblackdye Sat 12-Jan-13 12:38:32

I hateBCGvaccination, very glad it is only once, you need toholdbaby arm for 30 seconds which last like 10 minutes, then the blister, the white discharge, so glad when eventually it becomes dry and leave a red scar. Anastasia had it at 1 month, on the inside of her right upper arm. DS had it when he was 9 months, on his right shoulder.
I am trying to keep Anastasia occupied in themorning between 9 and 11.30 hoping that will make her sleep longer at lunchtime. We shall see, if it does not work I will go back on the 1.30h awake time and 45 min nap.

10000Fireflies Sat 12-Jan-13 21:03:47

Goodness, the BCG vaccine sounds awful. I thought we were done for a year until the dreaded MMR.

DS was so sleepy this afternoon that we put him to bed at around 5.30pm. Sadly he is up again, so that is another evening that I can't do any chores. Oh well.

Goat that's really tough on prems re vaccines. When I compare the thighs of my boy with some of the littlies who were term, it makes me wince enough.

No sign of snow here, but it is pretty cold and there was sleet earlier. At least it's nice in the snug. Night all.

blueblackdye Sat 12-Jan-13 23:16:23

Yep FF, I was so traumatised by DS's BCG immunisation (DH and I had to hold him down as he really had to stay still) that I beated myself fornot having it done earlier. But tbh DS does not remember so I feel less awful. Anyway in France you can have it done as soon as baby reaches 1 month, poor Anastasia, that was her first jab, it is said that babies don't remember pain but I am sure their cells do, and somehow I know she remembers something as on the fourth round of immunisation, when she looked at the GP who is a vey nice lady, she burst in tears. Fear of the woman in white ?
It took me 1h 35 min to put her down tonight, overtiredness ? Who knows ?
Hope all mums and babies are under duvet and sleeping. Xxxx

Midgetm Sun 13-Jan-13 00:09:47

Flying visit, busy weekend but wanted to say I will try and make it for meet up Friday. Must sleep. Night all.

BadMissM Sun 13-Jan-13 20:18:02

bbd am going to be a bit pushed for time, and also scared of what weather might do (is snowing here), so shall we meet up another time??? Sorry!!!

Oh bbd I am dreading the BCG now! Although BG is a hardy little soul, barely yelled at his other jabs, so hopefully will not be too bad for him.
We started weaning today. So far BG is not impressed, although it made him extremely chatty afterwards! Talked for about an hour! But I am being driven bonkers by his being "helpful" when bottle feeding. Milk everywhere except his mouth
Cot sleeping going well. Last night was great. Tonight he decided bedtime was 5:30 (probably as a result of being awake all through our usual Sunday walk for the first time ever) so I dread to think what wake up time tomorrow will be. Oh we'll, I need to be up early so I can trot off for a fun day of monitoring!

blueblackdye Sun 13-Jan-13 21:13:58

Goat, I am sorry I scared you re BCG. Maybe the UK doctors have another way of administring the vaccine, a much better way. Feel very bad now. Damn, how can I be that stupid at my age.
BadmissM, good luck for the FMC's appointment. Pas de souci !
I am so ashamed that I am going straight to bed to bury my head under the duvet until tomorrow...

bytheseaside Mon 14-Jan-13 02:44:50

thanks for support and advice ladies. today was much better. discovered baby s loves the swing! although swing is so cheap and tacky that it has broken already ... will take back and look for more reliable / £££ one now know it could be a lifesaver. any recommendations?
bbd don't feel bad, we new mummies need to be prepared! i wouldn't have a clue if it weren't for you lot
goat aah bg and his helpful drinking smile good luck with monitoring

bytheseaside Mon 14-Jan-13 02:54:15

ff grin @ Nigel havers!! i don't think anyone famous lives round here

anyone else LOVING the baby clothes? it is brilliant fun , takes me back to my tiny tears doll

there's been no poo today which means high risk of a massive back-shooting leaker tonight. quiet a risk when you are co-sleeping ...

bbd as seaside says, don't feel bad! I would much rather know that have it dumped on me on the day! That way I can make sure I have soothing stuff for BG too, so he comes out as unscathed as possible. smile
BG decided that 5pm was bedtime so I expected a bad night. But first feed at 2, second at 4:30 and he is now out of it again. Eating loads, maybe a growth spurt? Again?... I think he is doing them to both real and adjusted age to make sure he does not miss out. Daddy is 6'5" and BG is eager to catch up.
seaside fingers crossed there were no rockets!

bytheseaside Mon 14-Jan-13 05:45:31

were doing double growth spurts too i think

bytheseaside Mon 14-Jan-13 05:50:47

all still safe on nappy front smile

blueblackdye Mon 14-Jan-13 21:12:22

Oh this weaning thing is stressing me out, I need advice. Anastasia grabs things and puts them in her mouth, she stares at my mouth when I eat, she holds her head but does not sit unaided, she is 25 weeks, good weight on 50th centile, but she keeps pushing her puree out with her tongue. I tried baby rice, yogurt, banana cooked and pureed, carrot cooked and pureed, she seemed to enjoy only carrot. Should I keep on, insist with pureed food ? Or should I go on the finger food line ? (I m not a big fan of BLW though) or should I wait if she is not ready ? How long should I wait ?
It snowed last night and all afternoon today but it did not stick. Hope it will stay like that as DS and DH are flying back tomorrow, I can't wait to see them.
DS has asked to ride his bike with only 2 wheels and he made it straight away ! That is after 4 months of balance bike, 2 or 3 hours a week on week ends, I am very impressed with the balance bike and its incredible speedy result.
How is every one doing ? You lot have been very quiet. Hope everything is ok.
Goat, monitoring and BadmissM Harmony results, all good ?
Good night every one

bbd how clever is your ds! It will be the motorbike next wink

We have started weaning too. I gave him some sweet potato on my finger, which seemed to work better than the spoon for a start. We used a spoon for baby rice this afternoon and about half stayed in. I would love to know if there is a way to get more down him and not on him! Not sure how many changes of clothes I have that fit me at the moment!!

BadMissM Tue 15-Jan-13 16:01:42

Yayayayay! FMC results are all good, both Harmony and Nuchal! So might just get some time to enjoy this pregnancy now!!! Breathing enormous sigh of relief!

badmissm what fabulous news! thanks and wine (always ok for babies in the snug) to celebrate!

bytheseaside Tue 15-Jan-13 18:32:49

thats great bbm! its so wonderful when you can actually enjoy being pregnant - took me an age to get there ... then baby s came so early i had barely any time at the happy stage.

I'm watching your experiences with weaning with interest - i hadnt thought it would happen so quickly, but i guess it will! luckily i have lots of straggly old tshirts at the ready

how is everyone? I'm sleeping better - but only because I'm going with the baby body clock and napping all morning to make up for missed night. oh well, i feel better. baby s weighing in at nearly 10lb now - has come such a long way since her teeny tiny start, makes the constant feeding worth it. and i was so cheered that she didnt get my chest infection (touch wood).

blueblackdye Tue 15-Jan-13 20:16:50

BadMiss, I am very happy for you ! Enjoy your pg. Off to bed, I am on my knees. DS is back, houray !

BadMissM Tue 15-Jan-13 21:38:26

10000 Fireflies I used to work in an English Language Bookstore in Paris, so met lots of strange people... outside London or Paris, you don't bump into so many famous people smile

Midgetm Wed 16-Jan-13 09:41:22

Hello old ladies. Great news bad miss. Have a wine. Enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can. I feel sad thinking I will never be pregnant again. I am weird.

BBD I would leave the weaning and start again in a month. I think it's much better when they are sitting up properly and when they are ready it is not a battle.

So are we having a three way meet up Friday morning? I was at st pancreas last night and nearly booked us a table.

At least a three way! Think ff might come if she can?...

hilbobaggins Wed 16-Jan-13 23:01:26

Hello all, hope I am in the right place. I'm 45, mum of beautiful 5 month old DS Thomas (surprise pregnancy!) New to motherhood and LOVING it but keen to connect with older mums like me (have met some nice mums through NCT but honestly feel like a bit of an ancient oddball sometimes) and finding it hard to do so IRL. Also new to mumsnet so just finding my feet around here. So delighted to find this 40+ thread and hope to learn from / with others on this amazing journey.

Welcome, hilbo you are definitely in the right place! Congratulations on your DS. Come and join us old ladies (as midget calls us smile ) and don't forget to bring your snacks...

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