Fantastic 40+ Mums

(1000 Posts)
Hpbp Wed 10-Oct-12 19:57:03

Mum of 2, DS1 nearly 4yo and DD2 almost 11 weeks. I hope to find here advices from experienced mums so that I can avoid mistakes... I made some with DS1 and my life sometimes is hell, it is hard to unlearn wrong behaviour, so hard.
At the time being, DD2 is a very sweet baby, she is easy to decipher, cries are always related to some kind of discomfort and I managed to learn what they mean, or almost. Only one issue with her ATM is that she rejects bottle feeding even with expressed milk. I'd like to be able to escape a bit from the house to get a haircut or a facial. And I am sure DH would like to feed her sometimes too.
I struggle a bit more with DS1, who is usually a good boy, energetic, happy and loving. But after school, getting him to take his bath is a battle and falling and staying asleep all night are big issues. The problems did exist before but now with the recent arrival of his sister, the intensity has increased. Or maybe they are the same but to me they seem bigger and need to be addressed quickly so that I can look after both without raising my voice.
All advice are welcome. I need help here.

Also I'd like to invite all the graduates from the Fantastic 40+ Mums to be thread to join. You have been truly fantastic and so supportive during my pg. I hope to be able to keep on sharing with you this wonderful parenting adventure.

10000Fireflies Wed 02-Jan-13 00:59:22

I'm feeling guilty now. Maybe I give the homeopathy more of a go. The calming aspect sounds good.

Goatbongohohoandjinglejingle Wed 02-Jan-13 01:22:48

ff 2nd! smile
Thank you very much for allthe replies about teething! Have been wondering about Sophie ff as have had her recommended before... Does this model have the irritating squeak?! Love the idea of a baby toothbrush, will get onto that immediately.
We are using the Teetha powders which are chamomila missM no idea if they are helping but i hope so, plus bonjela and calpol. I always feel madly guilty using the calpol, but sounds like I shouldn't really. Not sure about the watermelon, scarecrow as BG is a prem and has had the usual prem tummy problems that have only just begun to resolve, rendering me entirely paranoid about what goes in - but that's a fab idea for later ones!
He finally went down about 10 to the strains of Mr Mozart. smile just woke and chomped his way through a bottle in record time.

10000Fireflies Wed 02-Jan-13 01:57:53

Goat It's the 15th. It feels good to be younger than anyone these days!! smile. There's no squeak on the Sophie with the two D rings on it, so you'll be safe there.

Likeing the idea of frozen watermelon. Scarecrow. Have had carrot mentioned in the past.

DS woke again... Managed to get him to sleep again with a quick feed. Desperately trying to do stuff. Cleaner coming tomorrow and I want some clear surfaces for her to clean!!

I need to add some more resolutions:
* to get DS to sleep in his cot all night
* to get one of the spare bedrooms sorted out asap so he has his own room
* to stop talking so much to my Mum. Only ends in tears.

Oh oh. Poppet moaning again. Poor lovely. Better get on in case he wakes again. Night all. FF xx

scarecrow22 Wed 02-Jan-13 06:48:48

I forgot Bonjela, also good. And re Calpol, have you ever had toothache?? If so can you really say you are willing to have it with no grown up paracetamol, let alone insist your LO does? Is rotten pain- and it is baby paracetamol. I felt guilty too, but over time realised that I hardly ever need to give it and when I do it seems only fair! Really motherhood is far too full of guilt and we must all take a stand <waves Calpol spoon in place of gigantic bra>
On that note, is Calpol sold with syringes now? If not get (with rubber insert for bottle)- again , er, at least one major chemist cains sells.

Goatbongohohoandjinglejingle Wed 02-Jan-13 08:52:33

We give the calpol with a latex teat, but the syringe is a good idea - loads of those knocking around because of prem medications!

knottyhair Wed 02-Jan-13 08:55:49

Can I ask a stupid question, does anyone give Calpol to babies under 2 months? It says over 2 months and weighing at least 4kg - Rosa is that weight but obviously under 2 months. Not that I've any need for it at the moment but I was going to get some "in case" the other day but had forgotten that it says over 2 months. I guess even early teethers are over 2 months, so maybe it's not an issue?

littleredmonkey Wed 02-Jan-13 09:06:15

ey knotty. I asked pharmacy staff for advice. There is a medical journal they use to help with measurements. Justinom ass em honey.

10000Fireflies Wed 02-Jan-13 09:09:58

Knotty I'd check something like that with your Doctor. I refer to 'Your Baby Week by Week', in which the author suggests that you dose baby up with Calpol and ibuprofen simultaneously and keep them topped up. I wasn't happy with that idea until I'd spoken to Doc. (DS was really sick btw with a VERY nasty cold, teething and stomach upset).

Lovely ladies - I need some advice. DS produced a lot of bright green runny poo this morning. It was almost fluorescent! Sorry if tmi this early in the morning! Any one else had similar?

littleredmonkey Wed 02-Jan-13 09:19:42

I thought baby monkey is teething two weeks ago he had all signs then stopped. Hope baby knotty ok

Ff good to hear from ya. Good luck with new years resolutions. Mine is to get baby monkey to sleep during the day without scteaming the house down. Lose 4 stone. Be able to run a mile easily. Not want biscuits every two minutes.
Does any one find it a struggle having the house a tip. Still not dyed my hair. I did do an hours walk yesterday and 30 mins x trainer. Legs ache like mad today but I will go for another walk.

littleredmonkey Wed 02-Jan-13 09:21:43

Sorry knotty not ass ask. New years resolution proff read messages before

blueblackdye Wed 02-Jan-13 09:55:32

Just a quick reply to FF and will be back later.
Re Runny fluorescent green poop, Anastasia had it for a few weeks. Paediatrician said not to worry unless fever too. If no fever, it is just that digestion is faster than usual. It came back to ocre, orange afterwards. Doc also said if no fever, the only poop colour that requires immediate action is white. But if fever and green, good to seek medical advice, could be stomach bug.
Welcome back btw.
Have to run now. Catch up later.

littleredmonkey Wed 02-Jan-13 10:24:08

Ff. Same reply as bbh. Baby monkey had it for two weeks. Poo turned yellow again. He had a cold so ended that way. Gross green. Dont worry unless fever and not feeding

littleredmonkey Wed 02-Jan-13 14:02:48

Ladies feel a bit feed up today and can't shake it. Combination of bored and fed up. I think as dp has gone back to work just fed up of crying from baby monkey for no reason and constantly watching the clock for sleep and feeding. Sorry to moan just overwhelmed by it all today.

10000Fireflies Wed 02-Jan-13 14:22:25

Hello again. Finally getting a little bit of me time again. Baby FF has been pretty whingey all day. I resorted to putting him in the Bjorn and carried him around while I did housework. Seemed to work - stopped the whinging/crying. Then was all set to go out and he fell asleep on me!! So I have the oven on, chicken and baguette ready to go in. Yum. Can't wait.

Thanks for the info on green poo. Think it all makes sense and ties in with his poppetiness. Found something non-foodie in his nappy which I will inspect in a bit too!! (Gillian McKeith has much to answer for!! Dying to know what he got his hands on and ate while I wasn't looking!

Lrm - sounds like our NY resolutions are pretty much the same. Yes, I am tearing my hair out with the state of house. V difficult with a baby who doesn't sleep. I have concluded that if I cannot get baby sleeping better during day or from 7-10pm, then I will have to do housework overnight for a while until shite sorted. Which is what I did last night. Not sure if I feel so bad considering. I had the same issue with daytime sleeping. Can't remember what I did - I think they naturally fall into daytime sleeping pattern eventually, but you can do training with them and I have seen some great success with this in others. I haven't had the time or energy for it though. Can baby monkey go in a doorway bouncer yet? I think they're good for tiring LOs out a bit. Baby FF does not find bath time tiring at all - he is more energised and perky than ever after one.

Guffing on again. Sorry!! DH got me a lovely new computer which lets me type v fast, when baby lets me anywhere near it.

So glad baby sleeping, but want to go shopping and get some treats for me. boo hoo!

blueblackdye Wed 02-Jan-13 14:31:21

Oh LRM, so sorry you feel down today. I am feeling lonely too now that DH is back to work and DS to nursery, the house is so quiet. I have a room full of crap to sort out and just can't deal with it. Shame you are far away, we could have had a coffee ! I went out this morning to baby clinic to weigh the little mademoiselle, she is only 7kg ! I don't know why, was expecting more... Have come across funny ideas on nappyfree baby, have been searching the web for thigh high socks, can't find any in the uk whereas in the usa there are plenty !
DH says I am just trying to keep myself busy with new projects... I can't live without an on going project, hum hum. What else a SAHM can do ? smile

littleredmonkey Wed 02-Jan-13 15:00:29

Thanks bbh. Virtual coffee for us both. O feel better played with little one and made up baby walker he cant use it for months but what the hell. I am desperate to get my sewing out and start making my soft toy monsters but baby time first.

littleredmonkey Wed 02-Jan-13 15:21:57

I think I am so use to working it is strange to be at home all day. Also saw home as a place to chill out watch a film read u know now not got a minute. Love my little fella but find it hard some days. Keep having very small spells of crap what was I thinking. Does anyone else feel like this sometimes.

littleredmonkey Wed 02-Jan-13 15:36:26

Sorry ladies doom and gloom. Goat can I come to NZ with ya. Which island u on?

Bbh. How was your birthday.

VQ. How's the little ones cough? My legs achy from that bloody x trainer. Did an hours walk today weights at 5. I am too old for this shit I want to win the lottery and let them suck the fat out my ass. It would keep a McDonald's French fry machine supplied for weeks

knottyhair Wed 02-Jan-13 15:36:54

Oh yes LRM! I love Rosa to bits and wouldn't have it any other way, but defo have moments. She wasn't planned at all (we had definitely decided to stop at one) and life with just an 8 year old is completely different to that with a tiny baby, and although DS loves her to bits as well, I do feel guilty that he's had this massive change thrust on him when we told him we wouldn't have another! So you're not on your own feeling like that xx

littleredmonkey Wed 02-Jan-13 16:00:58

Thanks knotty hard work this mummy stuff. I am sure I will get my head around it just hard when u feel shit and guilty all at the same time

blueblackdye Wed 02-Jan-13 16:13:00

It is hard work and our life has changed for ever, we will never go back to where/what it was, we don't have any control over anything and we have never been at our optimum as yet. This baby has made us mum, with the joys and the responsibilities, we will have moments where we would like to be elsewhere but trust me, the best happens everyday and there is even better to come, if it can be any better.
One of the good things is to have all of you around, we understand each other and that is already a very good thing to my life.
LRM, take pics, write notes, observe baby Monkey, times flies and you will soon forget the hard days. One of the things I do is to go out with baby to change air and spirit. At least for 5 minutes !

10000Fireflies Wed 02-Jan-13 16:57:34

Oh gawd. I must seem so insensitive. I keep crossing posts with you lot. LRM sorry to hear you're feeling crap. Sadly, I think it's normal. What isn't normal is admitting it. My antenatal group friends were horrified a while back when I was complaining about being bored.

Feels a bit strange for me too today BBD. DH back to work after nearly two weeks together. Is longer than he took for paternity leave.

DS woke just as I posted last message. So I picked him up and let him snooze on me for a couple of hours. Think at the moment is just important he gets enough sleep daytime. Will work on locations and timings.

So, I didn't get my jolly this avo, but maybe LO will be all the better for a good rest, and I will have a better time tomorrow. In the meantime, cracked, and opened metre of chocolate. Three bars of 340gs.... oh oh.

LO awake now but seems less grouchy at the mo.

This thread needs a snug like the 40+ conception group. Anyone want to join me on the sofa by the fire for a large hot choc, with cream and marshmallows and a big slice of lemon drizzle cake? FF xx

blueblackdye Wed 02-Jan-13 17:55:08

FF I am in ! Let me just dig out my wool socks, a shawl and baby Anastasia and I will join for all evening. I am sure LRM and VQ will too. How about Goat, Midget, Seaside, Knotty ?
We should not feel bad about our sad moments. It is a hell of a job and we are still learning how to cope. It is my first 2nd baby and I need to learn how to deal with 2 DC and DH and new feelings of being at home, not earning money...
After 5 months I still need to adjust to the new role. Parenthood is not always plain sailing, people forget how hard it is, and we will one day forget that too.
Re sleep in cot and all night, I had to train Anastasia, it was horrible for a few days as I had to let her learn to settle on her own. But I had no choice and she is now brilliant. We have a proper evening, grown up time after 7.30pm. As Midget pointed out previously, timing is important, around sleep time, put baby down before he is overtired in the cot, let him play on his own and he will fall asleep by himself eventually.
What I learnt with this 2nd baby is that starting around 3 months is far easier than later. With DS, we made the mistake and it took us about 28 months ! no kidding, this is why he has a big double bed now, we had to stay with him until he fell asleep and at night, he could scream until we joined him in bed, we ended sleeping with him... nobody wants that to happen again. no wonder why the age gap is 3years and 0 months !!!!
my birthday was good, hanging out with friends at home, letting kids run around transforming the house into a war zone and DH cooked, that was good !

blueblackdye Wed 02-Jan-13 18:01:11

my birthday gift just arrived: 1 week in Marrakech at the end of Jan, all inclusive, direct flight and a baby club, anyone wants to come along ?

scarecrow22 Wed 02-Jan-13 19:42:08

LRM you are brave and wonderful for admitting what so many feel. Tbh with all that sleep deprivation and hormonal stuff, let alone life change and emotions, it would be strange if you did not feel so sometimes. I not trying to belittle it - everybody has a different mix and reaction and it can be ghastly - but I would love it if you could lay aside the guilt. It is because you have given up your body, heart and mind to your LO. Ask for help, talk to us/friends/DP/family, and it will, will pass.

Good advice BBD about getting out for walks too - reminds me of walking every afternoon to get DD to do afternoon (4pm) nap for months (always treated myself to a hot choc as was winter). Mmmm, nice memory now!

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