Fantastic 40+ Mums

(1000 Posts)
Hpbp Wed 10-Oct-12 19:57:03

Mum of 2, DS1 nearly 4yo and DD2 almost 11 weeks. I hope to find here advices from experienced mums so that I can avoid mistakes... I made some with DS1 and my life sometimes is hell, it is hard to unlearn wrong behaviour, so hard.
At the time being, DD2 is a very sweet baby, she is easy to decipher, cries are always related to some kind of discomfort and I managed to learn what they mean, or almost. Only one issue with her ATM is that she rejects bottle feeding even with expressed milk. I'd like to be able to escape a bit from the house to get a haircut or a facial. And I am sure DH would like to feed her sometimes too.
I struggle a bit more with DS1, who is usually a good boy, energetic, happy and loving. But after school, getting him to take his bath is a battle and falling and staying asleep all night are big issues. The problems did exist before but now with the recent arrival of his sister, the intensity has increased. Or maybe they are the same but to me they seem bigger and need to be addressed quickly so that I can look after both without raising my voice.
All advice are welcome. I need help here.

Also I'd like to invite all the graduates from the Fantastic 40+ Mums to be thread to join. You have been truly fantastic and so supportive during my pg. I hope to be able to keep on sharing with you this wonderful parenting adventure.

How is everyone doing? I had a lovely sleep last night thanks to DH taking Kid for a few hours. (Not insomniac, hpbp just blessed with a very very slow feeder!) I feel newly rejuvenated and ready to go spend lots of money in the nearly new sale...

Nothing interesting to report really... I found a prem group this week which I went along to, only one other mum there, as the NNUs don't tell parents it exists! Such a shame, it was so great to talk to someone else and realise that the good the bad and the ugly really weren't your doing! There were also lots of ideas for the kind of stimulation a prem needs. Kid is certainly getting to that stage now.

littleredmonkey Sat 20-Oct-12 14:51:17

hi ladies,
hpbp - found the thread, thanks honey

I can hardly keep my eyes open today, liitle wee and poo machine kept us on our toes lst night, so could sleep for a week, hope i can get a second wind later. baby red monkey is sleeping on me after providing him with late lunch.
ps - decided I am crap at putting a nappy on today, leaked three times on him and outfit and all over his moses basket bedding. my washing machine has never been so busy. we bought a dryer the other week an so glad we did,

off for some zzzz

Hpbp Mon 22-Oct-12 11:31:48

wink LRM, ahhhhh nappy change ! Soon he will use his hose on you too, especially when you are super smartly dressed to go out ! Welcome tomotherhood ! But you will love it, I am sure.
Xxxxx

lrm I feel your nappy pain... Kid has such skinny legs that you have to be really careful how the nappy goes on! We have also had the fountainous arc across the nice new carpet... and I don't mean he weed!

littleredmonkey Mon 22-Oct-12 18:36:34

Hpbp- You made me smile with the smart clothes, I am such as casual girl I only own 1 dress and a skirt which I have worn only once this year. I really enjoy slummin it in my jim jams!!!

Goat - Dylan is a slow and reluctant feeder any tips that you have used to getting more into gear.

Tips required ladies. Baby Dylan is not keen on going to sleep during the day. I have it down to a fine art in the evening ( should not have said that !!). I feed him during the day and he has no of it. When we put him in his basket his little legs go like mad and he is wide awake. Do I assume he knows night and day now? I will have my first day on my own on Thursday looking forward to it and scared at the same time.
I had a dream we all met up last night for coffee and we all had badges on saying our names. The badges were huge.

Hpbp Mon 22-Oct-12 21:29:35

Goat, oh no, did you manage to clean the carpet ? I chose to put bamboo flooring in the flat and we have no rug atm, anticipating pukes and potty training, hum hum...
LRM, allright, forget smart cloth, lets say work cloth, when you are ready to leave the house and Dylan needs a last minute nappy change, this is when these things happen, you are in a hurry and less cautious about keeping the nappy over his willy, you turn your head one sec to grab a cotton wool and pshiiiiit, wee all over the place if not on you !!! I don't know how many times I got caught... Keep a mop next to the changing table. You can always clean quickly the floor with the mop under your foot.
On a more serious note, do you close the curtains during the day when you put Dylan down ? Have you tried swaddling him ? Does he nap in the same place he sleeps at night ? I found ot Anastasia naps better/longer in her night cot. I also have a cot in the living room but she would not sleep for more than one cycle whereas upstairs, she could go for 2 cycles sometimes. I have not been able to find out whether it s the light or th noise that wakes her up. I was told that the Moro reflex can be very strong and would wake them up so swaddling could be helpful.
You will be allright on Thursday, make sure DH prepares your lunch/meals before he leaves, have water and snacks handy and books or remote control as well. If you can, have a shower too before Dylan wakes up for the day.
Meeting up for a coffee would be lovely. Indeed.

catdoctor Mon 22-Oct-12 22:02:44

Evening ladies, have been away having a chemical pregnancy so strange mix of glum plus hopeful - at least I can conceive.

Had a teenager in my cons room tonight staring at me blankly when I suggested her cat needed to escape from Colditz - aarrgghh.

I have really got to think about potty training DS but he still does 3,4 even 5 poos a day - so the healthy diet backfires, literally! Not sure I've got the nerve for this yet!

Catch up soon

catdoctor really sorry to hear about the chemical pregnancy, they are difficult to deal with despite being short lived - I had one last October so my sympathies.

hpbp DH got up and attacked the carpet with cleaner there and then, saving the day.
As for clothes, I was in work clothes today for the first time in ages, and DH looked at me and said 'Gosh, I remember when you used to wear normal clothes!' blush Well, I guess it's a while since I was in anything but accessible tunic and leggings!

lrm no tips on the slow feeds, unfortunately. I just wait him out and eventually he saunters up to the finish line. Oh, and kid too doesn't like daytime naps, mainly because he is a nosy baby and hates to miss anything. But exhaustion catches up with him eventually...

Hpbp Tue 23-Oct-12 09:23:10

Catdoctor, take it easy. Don't give up hope !
I waited until DS1 was 3 yo to start potty training, I did wait until he was ready and willing to do it. No rush ! But he had a potty since he was 2 on which he would sit, completely dressed just to get used to it. For once, I agreed with Gina Ford's method !

Hpbp Fri 26-Oct-12 08:00:12

Oh oh, I treated myself with a very girly changing bag from Lilliputiens, a nice red, pink ish one ! Anastasia is using most of her brother clothing atm sso I thought I would buy something nice for her, or me rather ! She is 13 weeks and I have started using small 6 months sleeping suits ! She does not seem so big/long though.
Celebrating since Wed DS1 4th birthday, at home, at school and over the week end as well as DH is only with us on week ends. 2 other cakes to bake. But DS1 is more interested by his pressents than eating my cakes... Oh well ! It is my fault, I never got him used to eat sweet things anyway.
Mid term next week. I am a bit scared to have both of them all day, my Mum had surgery and a bit of a cold so I am looking after 3 people. Wish me luck...

10000Fireflies Sun 28-Oct-12 20:14:12

Just dropping in for a quick hi. wink DS not settling so will be back with more when hands free. Hope you are all having a cosy night in, out of the cold and rain.

Hpbp Mon 29-Oct-12 19:32:56

FF what's happening with DS ? Is he teething ?
Anastasia is 3 months today. But I almost forgot it, busy driving my Mum back and forth to doctors' appointments. What a forgetful Mum I am ! Got some good news today, I should have ID card for her within 10 days. So we shall be home soon. DH is delighted. I am scared. And a bit sad too, DS1 really enjoys his school, he is now well settled and we will change again, one small consolation, he is going back to his nursery, at least, he will not be in a totally new environment.

Midgetm Mon 29-Oct-12 20:16:15

I found you all ok only because of the link

Marks place, scuttles off again grin

Velo Wed 31-Oct-12 16:11:32

Just marking my place in the thread although not feeling all that fantastic! I have about 5 items of clothing that I can actually wear at the moment and with all the biscuits I seem to be consuming.... oh dear.

Hpbp Wed 31-Oct-12 16:34:22

Midget, Velo, welcome. Very glad to see you again !
How is Master Midge ? How about you ?
Velo, it has been a long time. How far are you in th pg ? Sorry I can't remember right now. Don't worry about weight, I put on 16kgs and within 11 weeks looking after 2 kids and BF, I am back to pre pg weight already...
FF is Jamie feeling better ?
Hope every one else is well.

Midgetm Wed 31-Oct-12 21:38:04

Evening all. Oh my goodness the biscuits Velo I can't stop eating. Breast feeding making me hungry like a wolf. I just keep eating sweet things constantly. The weight was dropping off but not sure it will be for much longer If I keep this up.

hey HP do you still have sunshine in Paris? It's horrible here. Wind is really wild and so cold. WInter is taking hold.

I feel awful. I think dehydrated but have a cracking headache. Master midge still not knowing about night and day and sleeps far too much in the day. Still he is only small so I am sure He will get the hang of it soon. How are you? How is the lovely Anastasia? It is so much harder balancing 2 kids needs isnt it? It's exhausting!

Right best go get some sleep before the feeding frenzy starts... Big waves to all.

10000Fireflies Wed 31-Oct-12 22:41:46

Hey there! Yes, hpbp, DS teething. He's 19 weeks tomorrow. (BTW he's not called Jamie- is known as baby FF on here). First tooth appeared week 16, second the following week. He was grizzly as hell this am and ramming Sophie The Giraffe into his upper gums, so assuming tooth 3 not far behind. I hope so anyway, as he's normally lovely and giggly most of the time and am not enjoying him so much when he's like this.

Also still plagued by colic. Really tiresome. Seem to have more success with Boots Colic Drops more than anything else, but every so often he has another 3-hour long screaming fit and it's really hard work.

I have been stuffing my face since having DS. V enjoyable! Have never consumed such disgustingly huge quantities of chocolate, cake, biscuits and icecream before. Haven't lost much weight as a result. BF makes me ravenous, like you Midget, for sweet things. I am trying to wean myself off them now though before I stop BF as I'm worried about what a total fatty I'll become if I don't lose the habit.

Please don't tell me it's a total nightmare looking after two kids midget. I need to maintain that sense of denial as hoping to TTC and pop out #2 asap.

Been back a week from parents, where I was Dad and cat sitting for 3 weeks. Just about managed not to go completely mad!! OMG was hard work! Had a few visits from some v old family friends and neighbours while I was there. Really lovely to catch up with them. Is funny some of the crap they come out with though. They are horrified about the concept of feeding on demand. And they keep coming out with phrases like 'oh, you've waited so long for him' and getting v excited about how old I am. But actually there are two others from my year who've had babies in the past 18 months so I'm not so much of a novelty!

Trekked to Victoria today (no frigging lifts there), lugging baby in buggy (thank god for Maclaren) plus nappy bag etc etc, about 6 flights of stairs in all. Frigging passport application rejected as neighbour 'I do these all the time since I became a teacher this year' bodged up signature. So back to square one. Waited 2 weeks for appt. Have to wait 2 weeks for another and need to travel then. Grump! V tired now. But baby fast asleep, now, so I am relaxing.

Hope you are all well. Love n stuff. FF xx

littleredmonkey Thu 01-Nov-12 05:48:35

Hi guys
Hey midget. Hope u r ok honey ? I am the same as u and velo. Biscuits and more biscuits. Need em to breastfeed it says so on the packet! !!! Will post later as baby Dylan woke up

bytheseaside Thu 01-Nov-12 14:04:52

Have just spent 20 mins catching up on last couple of weeks of posts, its been a time of crazy feeding, long wakeful nights and days where baby seaside will only sleep on me, im still barely having time to get dressed or go to the loo... I really love her, but am so tired and housebound!! and computer broke temporarily which was my lifeline
goat you are so lucky having a prem group, there's none here and i could really do with one, now I've slowed down and the reality of the early scary birth and weeks in hospital have started to hit me like a brick. How are you feeling about it? You sound so much more level than me!
baby seaside is eating like a (windy) gannet and putting weight on nicely, im so proud of her. my poor boobs though! And i have to keep Changing our clothes so we don't permanently smell of milk ... is this just us? Perhaps we are just spectacularly messy at bf
So nice to see ladies from 40s thread and new ones. wanted to congratulate you all personally, but sounds like feeding time again... with a major nappy episode 1st. sorry about your news catdoctor

catdoctor Thu 01-Nov-12 18:37:08

It's so interesting reading all your posts - I can't believe how fast the last 2 years have gone. Someone said to me when I had DS - just give in to it - and I think that's helped - no point fighting it all, just go with the flow and when you have to, endure.

I reckon being older made me better at this - I didn't feel I was missing out and life experience told me that however hard things are, time passes.

Now I have a real live toddler with attitude. I'm more bothered in a way now as I think I could get things wrong in how I handle stuff, whereas when he was tiny it was hard buit the choices seemed simper or non existant. Anyone know what I'm blabbing on about?!

We finally stopped breatsfeeding about 6 weeks ago - so glad it just peetered out, no hysterics. Last night the little bleeder grabbed me though and latched on - quickly stopped and said 'there's nothing coming out, try the other one' . Shall I put that on his 2 year assessment form where it asks for examples of forming sentances?!

TTFN

littleredmonkey Thu 01-Nov-12 19:14:34

Bythesea. I know what u mean no time for the loo. Even thought of taping a load of his nappies together so I can use them. Also spend more time in Jim jams with seriously scarey hair even the positive looked at me gone out the other day. It's new baby. Knackered chic look. My poor guy has a cold bless him and only 8 weeks old.

Hpbp Sat 03-Nov-12 18:41:41

Good evening Ladies.

DH is on hols for a week, the first week since Anastasia arrived. We are planning to do nothing, just staying home and being together. Hope his presence will allow me to sit down and eat properly with civilized manners, I have been swallowing food for the past 3 months !

So this morning we brought Anastasia to the pediatrician for her 3month check up, 5.9kg and 61.5cm, very tonic, holding head quite well, big chubby cheeks, still lots of hair, started smiling, sucking her fingers, following me as I cross the room with her big black eyes, all good, nothing to report !
Then we went to order catering for her christening next week end, it is going to be a Japanese meal followed by a piece montee for 35 of us. I have no idea how I will store the food if there s any leftovers, hope I did not order too much.... And I had a lovely 30minutes of body scrub. It was heaven !
Tomorrow, I am not going anywhere, DH and DS1 will go swimming, I will try to catch up on sleep...

I almost made up my mind on the pushchair, it will be a Baby Jogger City Mini GT. Has anyone used a Summer Infant Snuzzler even if baby lies flat in the pram so that its head does not go all over the place ? Would love to hear your feedback.

Midgetm Sat 03-Nov-12 23:01:00

Evening all. HP so glad you have some time with your DP, it must be lively after all the coping on your own you have done recently. I hope you have a lovely time. I beat go get to bed. Stinking cold here too and master midge is coming down with it. Such a pain in the bum.

ValiumQueen Sun 04-Nov-12 09:05:48

Greetings. Only took me 11 days to find you! I have not read the thread yet.

Baby Jacob was born via ELCS on 25/10 weighing 9lb 1/2 oz. He is the youngest of 3, with sisters of 6 and 2. I am 43 and had my tubes tied during the section as my family is now complete.

I am exclusively breast feeding and have had hastle from MWs about his weight. This has had a really bad effect on my mood as we were sent to the hospital and told to either give formula or express, measure, then give in a bottle. I have refused to do this as he is feeding really well, is bright and alert, and is peeing and pooing for scotland.

My BP went dangerously high on friday so again back to hospital. I am now on bed rest which is impossible with three kids.

I will catch up on thread, then bring biscuits x

Midgetm Sun 04-Nov-12 09:31:48

Vq your experience with weight is the same as mine. I've also ignored them as it effected his latch. He is now fine and I could have totally messed up by breast feeding if I'd have done what they said. And they all contradicted each other! Makes me mad that a first time mum would have probably done what they said and really struggled to bf exclusively angry

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