Fantastic 40+ Mums

(1000 Posts)
Hpbp Wed 10-Oct-12 19:57:03

Mum of 2, DS1 nearly 4yo and DD2 almost 11 weeks. I hope to find here advices from experienced mums so that I can avoid mistakes... I made some with DS1 and my life sometimes is hell, it is hard to unlearn wrong behaviour, so hard.
At the time being, DD2 is a very sweet baby, she is easy to decipher, cries are always related to some kind of discomfort and I managed to learn what they mean, or almost. Only one issue with her ATM is that she rejects bottle feeding even with expressed milk. I'd like to be able to escape a bit from the house to get a haircut or a facial. And I am sure DH would like to feed her sometimes too.
I struggle a bit more with DS1, who is usually a good boy, energetic, happy and loving. But after school, getting him to take his bath is a battle and falling and staying asleep all night are big issues. The problems did exist before but now with the recent arrival of his sister, the intensity has increased. Or maybe they are the same but to me they seem bigger and need to be addressed quickly so that I can look after both without raising my voice.
All advice are welcome. I need help here.

Also I'd like to invite all the graduates from the Fantastic 40+ Mums to be thread to join. You have been truly fantastic and so supportive during my pg. I hope to be able to keep on sharing with you this wonderful parenting adventure.

littleredmonkey Fri 07-Dec-12 08:42:01

We have tried clutter feeding but still wakes up every two hours. Week nine and going to audition for a ginger zombie film. No make up required

littleredmonkey Fri 07-Dec-12 08:57:43

Anyone else want to audition with me. The look is messy hair not been brushed. face not washed. Bright red eyes. Biggest bags under eyes. Clothes worse then tramp. In fact smell a tad trampy! !!!

bytheseaside Fri 07-Dec-12 09:46:21

I don't need to audition, im a shoe-in!

Midgetm Fri 07-Dec-12 10:11:07

Big wave to all the zombies. MM slept ok but in more tired. How the hell does that work?

Just wanted to say I'd love to meet up. Bit sure next week is much good so let me know what I'd decided and see if I can come. I have school pick ups in n8 do north better for me central but can get there without too much bother. I will try and slot in with whatever is decided though. Be lovely to meet some of you, just a shame not all.

Off Christmas shopping with the baby. Pray for my soul.

Goatbongohohoandjinglejingle Fri 07-Dec-12 10:16:27

I must be good for the part. BG just spent the last five minutes staring at my hair and laughing hysterically. hmm

Midgetm Fri 07-Dec-12 13:19:24

grin

blueblackdye Fri 07-Dec-12 13:24:19

I am in too for the zombie look ! Adding a little of anger and madness when I run after DS on the streets !!!
Was thinking in Marylebone, does any one know about a baby friendly place ? If not why not try House of Fraser or Mamas and Papas coffee shops on Oxford street or Regents ? I can do any day from 10/10.30 except Thursday 13th. Hope to meet lots of you, and I agree with Midget, it is a shame every one won't be able to make it.

bytheseaside Fri 07-Dec-12 13:42:41

vq are things any better?

Im so envious of you ladies meeting, I dare you to go in normal zombie look

blueblackdye Fri 07-Dec-12 14:14:48

Seaside, surely we will try not to but working woman's make up will certainly not be able to cover all of it.
Taking example on you, I went out to the shop for the first time this morning. Very glad with the Baby Jogger, such a pleasure to push with one hand, had a 2.5kg bag of potatoes, minced beef, 3 courgettes, 4l of milk and that was it... Could not take more. Went to a school to pick up the supplementary form for DS. Anastasia slept all the way, yeah !
Atm she is lying on a bean bag with an activity arch on top, she is using her legs to touch the bells. So funny ! I am having a cup of tea. Firt time I sit down since this morning !
Goat, I want to hear BG's hysterical laugh smile
VQ, how is baby J today ?
Midget, how was Xmas shopping ? Did Master Midge enjoy the trip ?

ValiumQueen Sat 08-Dec-12 16:40:00

Not caught up yet, but just popping on to say that J is doing a lot better. It has been a hideous week. I feel as if I have not seen the girls at all sad he is still coughing, but not so distressing, and keeping most of his milk down now (hopefully). I am also feeling less suicidal and murderous grin

ValiumQueen Sat 08-Dec-12 18:21:39

Zombie look, yes. London, no. To far I am afraid. I will be thinking of you and look forward to hearing all about it.

bytheseaside Sat 08-Dec-12 20:20:31

QV so glad things are a little better for baby j. What a horrible time you've had.

We are between nappy sizes, not really big enough for size ones, but are now getting leaks with our teeny micro nappies ... just had a back shooter that went everywhere ... never mind, i was wearing black so no harm done. terrible night again, not sure what we are going to do. me and dp rowing as we are both tired and unreasonable.

ValiumQueen Sat 08-Dec-12 20:49:14

He just puked again but seems happy enough. DD2 has just done the same. In bed. Everywhere. She is happy too. Just from coughing, not bug. I hope.

seaside me and DH are not doing well either, and we know the score being our third. It is a huge life change, and very challenging especially with a premmie and the parents being older. We are more set in our ways. Try to have a quick word with him and say you are both tired and will be snappy, but this will pass. Things will get better. That kinda thing perhaps? A quick hug in passing can help, even if you would rather shoot the bastard grin

I was furious with DH last night. J was cluster feeding and I popped him next to DH on the bed so I could have a wee. By the time I got back J was hysterical, and DH was still sucking on his ice lolly. I asked him to pick him up, saying he was likely to be sick and / or wake the girls, and he pulled a face and held up his lolly. I did not speak to him again until mid morning I was that angry. Had I said anything, I fear I might have said too much. He also pissed the bed as he is 'so very tired' WTF?

Goatbongohohoandjinglejingle Sun 09-Dec-12 06:20:24

bbd you won't hear bg's laugh at the mo as he has lost his voice. grin I know I shouldn't laugh (bad, bad mummy!) but his squeak is very funny, as is his outraged look when he hears the sound he has produced. (he isn't in pain, just volume controlled!)

seaside ahhh... I had a moment of nostalgia abut BG going from micro to size 1 nappies! We had the same thing with leakage, but ended up going to the bigger size although they practically engulfed him - seemed to wrap them around him twice! We have just gone to size 2 smile he is officially a big lump now!

vq that's just daft with your DH... Sorry to hear that you are having problems. You'd think that maybe by dc no. 3 he might have figured that babies really don't do waiting?... Some of the stories on here make me realise how lucky I am with my DH, he really does believe in equal parenting.

Looking forward to meeting up, but I think I won't make it this week. My house is finally completing sale on Thursday so I have to organise the last of the moving, and trot off to solicitors, estate agents etc. not sure at the mo when all that is going to happen exactly. What about meeting early next week?

Midgetm Sun 09-Dec-12 11:02:28

Babies place a huge strain in couples. I find it becomes a 'who is the most tired or is the most stressed' competition. Of course I always win. But VQ so tired to piss the bed? WTAF. Leave the bastard grin

Oh memories of micro nappies. Until I had DD I didn't even know they existed.

Off Into town with not one but two children. Scared emoticon. .

Midgetm Sun 09-Dec-12 11:03:18

Laughing at baby goats non existent wail. Poor baby goat hmm

blueblackdye Sun 09-Dec-12 16:13:52

Any time next week for meeting up is good. I don't have anything specific to do, a few playgroups but I can always do a different one.
Goat, let me know when it is convenient fr you. Good luck and bravo on the house sale.
Midget, how was the trip to town with 2 DCs ?
VQ, very glad baby J is on the mend. My DH too sometimes doesn't get it. I bite my tongue and go to another room instead of saying something I would regret later.
LRM, Seaside, Fjord, hope you are ok too as well as LO.
Hugs to all

bytheseaside Mon 10-Dec-12 00:12:01

vq that would have driven me crazy too, things like that make it really seem like you aren't on the same side, don't they? Sending a hug - you have a lot on your plate. Yes midget we run that competition nightly, or rather I do, and regularly announce myself the winner! blueblack I admire your poise in the face of provocation. I must start to behave more like an adult - tiredness no excuse really. I'm not being the serene, chilled out, capable mum I'd really like to be - you'd think 40 years life experience would help with all this! well, 40 years experience has taught me I'm not very good when tired ...

goat poor baby! we also spend much time laughing at baby seaside's various noises - so much fun to be had. Ah, yes, we too are doing the wrap-around nappy! it's massive, makes her legs look all teeny again. Doing a better job of catching the yellow stuff though. Why is it yellow? Milk's the only thing going in!

lrm are things going better? velcro still sticky? mine's more like superglue!

up late researching cameras tonight -- we've been relying on mobile footage of baby so far, which is shocking, really especially as we are both quite interested in photography. It's been a more harmonious day anyway, prob because I had 5-6 hours sleep (an hour at a time! - aaargh) DP and me ever more reliant on Ewan to sooth our shattered nerves in the early hours, bless that sheep. baby s still pays no attention though

blueblackdye Mon 10-Dec-12 07:55:01

Seaside, I am not an adult when it comes to fighting with DH, but I ve forced myself to shut my mouth to avoid massive arguments, tears and screams. Also because of the presence of DS, I try to avoid, if I can. Of course staying calm is all easier when I had enough sleep !!!
Little lady's poo hereis bright orange. She has gone down to a rythm of 2 a day, which is great, but they are so big.... On Sat morning, it went all the way up to her neck, yuk. Managed to get cloth cleaned, with no orange shadow, very relieved...

littleredmonkey Mon 10-Dec-12 08:00:25

How r baby goat and bythesea are squeaking better today.
Bythesea. Had a rough day. He did not feed at all well all day. Would not nap. Dp took him into town christmas shopping he always sleeps in his pram or content looking about he cried loads. I went to lunch with friends first time in nine weeks. Dp came for coffee at the end of the meal. Poor baby monkey cried then was transfixed by the restaurant noise. When he was taken out the buggy the surrounding people all at the same time went ahhhhhhh he is so cute which made me and dp so proud we have such a little cutie.
Me and dp fell out Saturday. I have been so grumpy lately maybe the lack of sleep! !!! He is being very good and letting me get sleep. I will try not to be such a cow. Last night's sleep was from 7-6. Got nearly 8 hours in that time so cant complain. Dp did 9 bottle he then went to 1. My boobs where going to explode when he started crying crap o had to change my top as a tad wet. Ended up with a towel on me
Cant make London trip. When r u meeting? When u do could use your phones for live chat so those that cant attend can be there in spirit but join in the chat

littleredmonkey Mon 10-Dec-12 08:04:08

Midget. Dip dp Lolly next time in a laxative power never mind pissing the bed he will shit his pants.
Sorry evil idea :-D

blueblackdye Mon 10-Dec-12 08:29:23

LRM, I will check if house of fraser has wifi, if so, we can try skype or facetime as some of us have iPhones, I suspect !
Anastasia is still asleep ! Yeah ! Had a shower already ! Improvements...

littleredmonkey Mon 10-Dec-12 09:30:31

I am still in bed with baby monkey. He is having his morning sleep on mummy. It is so much nicer not being over taken by with thoughts of why is he doing that? What does that cry mean? Stress stress!

blueblackdye Mon 10-Dec-12 09:50:04

Very true! I try to remind myself that babies cry because it is their only way of communication, not that there is something wrong but it is hard when one has tried everything and baby is still saying something.... I went to check on Anastasia 3 times already within 2 hours, why is she still sleeping ? Is she breathing ? Stupid Mummy !!!
Boiler has been making strange noises. Please please tell me there is nothing wrong with it.

Midgetm Mon 10-Dec-12 12:41:23

Quick one as have to leave the house again today (over achieving) but Friday is best for me as I am chock a block here with jabs and drinks and trips to town. Not sure if that suits anyone else?

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