Fantastic 40+ Mums

(1000 Posts)
Hpbp Wed 10-Oct-12 19:57:03

Mum of 2, DS1 nearly 4yo and DD2 almost 11 weeks. I hope to find here advices from experienced mums so that I can avoid mistakes... I made some with DS1 and my life sometimes is hell, it is hard to unlearn wrong behaviour, so hard.
At the time being, DD2 is a very sweet baby, she is easy to decipher, cries are always related to some kind of discomfort and I managed to learn what they mean, or almost. Only one issue with her ATM is that she rejects bottle feeding even with expressed milk. I'd like to be able to escape a bit from the house to get a haircut or a facial. And I am sure DH would like to feed her sometimes too.
I struggle a bit more with DS1, who is usually a good boy, energetic, happy and loving. But after school, getting him to take his bath is a battle and falling and staying asleep all night are big issues. The problems did exist before but now with the recent arrival of his sister, the intensity has increased. Or maybe they are the same but to me they seem bigger and need to be addressed quickly so that I can look after both without raising my voice.
All advice are welcome. I need help here.

Also I'd like to invite all the graduates from the Fantastic 40+ Mums to be thread to join. You have been truly fantastic and so supportive during my pg. I hope to be able to keep on sharing with you this wonderful parenting adventure.

10000Fireflies Sat 24-Nov-12 20:36:21

Evening all. midget just 'awwwww' your DD is too cute. I hope DS manages to be half as cute.

Been hoping DS will drop off to sleep soon. I've fed him to sleep twice already tonight...Bless him. He was gripey as hell yesterday, as he has been over much of the past couple of weeks. Of course, when I spotted the tops of his top incisors this morning, I felt a bit guilty! So proud of little poppet - 22 weeks and has 6 teeth!

I'm sorry, this is a bit of a self-indulgent post. Been busy as recently, plus brother has had an accident last week and still in hosp. Am knackered.

Oh, DS up... Give up on bed time tonight. I'll take him with me when I go, which won't be long.

Hugs to you all. Oh, and loving the iced cat head idea!!
ff xx

ValiumQueen Sat 24-Nov-12 20:39:40

Hp hopefully MN helps a bit with the loneliness. I can relate to that. I live about 20 miles away from work, and all my colleagues are local to work. My colleagues are the people I feel closest to as we have moved around a lot over the years. My best friend is in Canada, and my other friends are down south. I have tried to make friends with other mums but as soon as they know you are going back to work they do not seem to want to bother as I will not be available to play date etc. MN has kept me sane, and I do feel I have a few 'friends' on here. Is that sad?

Driving myself silly worrying about co-sleeping tonight. Hope the little cherub sleeps in his cot.

ValiumQueen Sat 24-Nov-12 20:42:04

FF sorry about your brother. Is he getting better?

Hpbp Sat 24-Nov-12 20:57:56

Ff, hope your brother recovers soon
VQ yes you do have friends on here. You have given me so much support and made me laugh so many times. Hope to meet you if you ever leave Scotland for a qick visit to London. Hope to meet every one else too. I keep in mind the idea of meeting up. Just need a bit of time to get used again to London life.
Was wondering if anyone knows if Fjord and Exexe are fine ?

Midgetm Sat 24-Nov-12 21:53:57

HP not heard from either of them in ages. Been a bit worried about them, fjord has been MIA since Not long after her rather epic birth. May PM her. London is here waiting to welcome you with open arms!

FF that sucks about your brother. Hope he is on the mend soon.

So tired I can't even watch the Killing what a looser!

ValiumQueen Sat 24-Nov-12 22:00:53

Ditto Hp thanks

Yes, we need to gather exexe and fjord back into the fold.

After a horrible day and truly vile evening, Babygoat has slept angelically for four straight hours and is now smile cutely at me. Maybe I won't send him back yet!

hpbp prems have two ages - their real age, and the age they would be if they had turned up on their due date. This second one is often their developmental age. So BG is 18 weeks old, but was due 15 September and often acts like a 10!week old ( and often doesn't as well, but hcps like to ignore that!)
Welcome back to London, and good luck with the move! It would indeed be lovely to meet up when you feel settled.

vq this thread is indeed a great circle of friends,and I certainly say more about some things here than I do to anyone in RL. I have wonderful friends but oddly enough I am the only mum amongst us. (also might have to do a rant soon about certain members of the family making me feel like a crap mum but that is another story..) And this thread keeps me sane at night, too! Great news about the weight gain, btw.

Hello ff lovely to see you again. Wow, six teeth! So that is the next stage to look forward to...

midget your DD is obviously more romantic at heart than your DH!! grin

seaside wonderful news about the sleep and getting out socially. I am hoping - WAIT FOR IT - To dye my hair tomorrow.

Yoohoo lrm hope you are ok.

Oh bugger. This post has taken an age to write as am running to the loo... sad DH has had to take BG. Think I have tummy bug now, noooooooo!!

bytheseaside Sun 25-Nov-12 02:06:20

vq yes you have friends here! I certainly feel like i do. my rl friends all live far away like you, which makes this even more of a lifeline some days. Why are you worrying about cosleeping particularly? I am too as we have to do it, and it is lovely, but risks with prem baby scare the pants off me in light of day.

Hpbp sorry you feel lonely. maybe some nice baby groups are order?

goat hope u r wrong about the bug... You need to be well enough to dye hair tomorrow. mine still looks rubbish.and your family know nothing , you are not a crap mum

midget ah, very sweet dd!

ate curry out tonight! On downside it was only waitrose cafe ... and baby seaside demonstrated she didnt really know how to behave in waitrose yet, doing some loud yelling and farting, plus some particularly frenzied feeding which made discretion impossible... Ah well, we got out the house ...
I've been wondering about exexe and fjord too. hopefully they are just too busy,

Feels like it might be a long night for us. hope someone else might be awake for chatting

littleredmonkey Sun 25-Nov-12 02:25:41

Mmorning bythesea I am up bm is not sleeping so good. We had partner brother and wife show up then his mum and dad. It was a bit like pass the baby. I fed him a bit rushed and not his usual two places. He took ages to settle. Ended up dp doing skin to skin to calm him. He keeps waking up up every hour this evening. I am feeding him think he got mega stressed with everyone. he keeps getting his feet out his bbaby gros and socks in his basket then kicks his blankets off. Have changed him to better fitting suit. Stupid 0-3 months dont always fit right. Socks on feet. He is on thr boob so hopefully he will settle.

Goat. Hope your tum is ok! I am going to buy a hair dye on town Sunday when it goes on will be a different story

bytheseaside Sun 25-Nov-12 02:31:42

LRM I've just put baby s in new pea green swaddle. looks so cute but she's on to me and has started grunting and punching her arms ... all quiet now ignore you don't hear from me again its worked! She went to bed b chilled after 2 hours of watching the killing haha

bytheseaside Sun 25-Nov-12 03:49:58

... well it worked for an hour

seaside going out twice in two days is imprssive! Doubtless baby s was simoy celebrating!

lrm the difference in sizings is stupid sometimes. Tonight Kid is in a tiny baby sleep suit for babies up to 7.5lb. He is 11lb. It fits fine. Then there are 0-3 month suits that no longer fit. He has mega long legs and not such a long body so It is hard to find all-in-ones that really fit properly. Oh and he hates socks, they come off pronto by rubbing his feet together. Almost as much as he hates hats (definitely related to me, no swapped babies in the hospital here)

littleredmonkey Sun 25-Nov-12 05:26:19

Omg I feel like crap soooo tired may go lick cats head !!!!!!
Baby monkey is on a mission. Operation hourly wake involved is pissing his nappy kicking off his covers off and alerting everyone to his presents :-D. May apply for role in a zombie film as I look stunning

Baby on boob ! Nature should have ensured breastmilk contains a sedative
Plus farting on me now is just rude. He will produce his little hand soon stating " pull mu finger mummy "

littleredmonkey Sun 25-Nov-12 05:29:03

Ps voodoo hungry. McDonalds pancakes and a pile of hash browns

littleredmonkey Sun 25-Nov-12 05:31:25

Pps baby monkey is cute as a button

littleredmonkey Sun 25-Nov-12 05:32:19

Can't stop thinking about hash browns?

bytheseaside Sun 25-Nov-12 05:51:58

Baby seaside joining baby monkey in nocturnal awakeness ... 3 nappy changes in last hour, i mean really! I've just sent dp down for tea and choc biscuits but now i want mcd breakfast too, darn it.
Baby s is so cross with the green swaddle have filched pink one out of laundry instead to try
goat our sizing is all over the place too. still in micro nappies but green out of several newborn babygros ... and has a big head in most brands smile

And what does the cat think of his role in this?... grin

Kid has been polite and let me sleep off this tummy thing. I feel a bit better, if still alarmingly seasick if I stand up. Pleeeeeze fates let me dye my hair today...

Also is doing cute. Ha! Don't think I am going to fall for it... Ooh,look at his big eyes and little dimples!

Midgetm Sun 25-Nov-12 07:57:56

HP I am in north London. Don't be lonely - lets meet for a coffee.

littleredmonkey Sun 25-Nov-12 08:36:12

Bythesea. Very impressive on your outings. Off out for lunch so excited as not McDonalds in the car!
Hp. U have friends here

10000Fireflies Sun 25-Nov-12 19:59:20

Hey, thanks all for asking about my bro. Am a bit worried about him. Think he is on the mend, but he's had a nasty head injury.

I'm sorry, not taking much in today so sorry for not keeping up v well with you all. Had meant to say Hpbp - please don't feel lonely. There should be lots of mum and baby groups in London. I guess it will be difficult for you though leaving your Mum and coming back to London. Have a look at the NCT website. I've been doing lots of mum and baby groups. Have found people to be really friendly - not what I expected at all. Plus, whenever DS and I are out we always end up chatting to someone new which is nice. Am in West London. Am a bit miz at the moment, but could be up for meet too if anyone wants and they can put up with my long face!! ;-)

Soooooo tired. Love to you all, and will try to catch up properly soon. FF xx

Hpbp Sun 25-Nov-12 20:00:47

Thank you every one. You all rock. I do have friends on here. And we shall definitively meet. Give me another 2 weeks or so. Midget, I'll be back in London in a week, coffee with you is a happy thought.
Fjord, Exexe, drop us a quick line to let us know you are allright but super busy. We are all thinking of you.
Goat, are you feeling better ? Was it tummy bug ? Hope it is not too bad. Did you dye your hair in the end ?
LRM could you sleep a bit today ? Have never seen an orangutan in a zombie movie yet ! This is an idea you should think of, might bring you lots of money to share with all of us of course, for nappies, prams, bouncy chairs, cars...
Seaside, Goat, for what it is worth, I have been using 6 month vests for Anastasia since she was 13 weeks, with some brands she would fit perfectly in 6 month sleepsuits, vertbaudet and petit bateau, both French but available in the UK, with others, length wise they are a bit big on the legs but arms are good as well as waist, john lewis' are too wide. So regularly I try bigger size on her to make sure I am not missing anything. She has received so much girly cloth as presents, family and friends knew that I'd reuse some of her brother's stuff so they bought mainly dresses, tights, hair accessories !!! My pediatrician also measure and weigh her every month, at 3 months, she was 5.880 kg and 62cm, that also helps what size to choose.
DH realised this morning he forgot to buy a return ticket to London for tonight. So last minute ticket cost is 4 times what he usually pays, ouch ouch ouch ! I wonder who's got baby brain in my couple smile

Hope you all get a good night sleep. xxxxx

Hpbp Sun 25-Nov-12 20:09:03

Ff, I'll be glad to put up with your long face smile
When taking DS to nursery, I met a few nice Mums. You are right, I have to kick myself and go out to meet the outside world. I am still in the primary maternal preoccupation as Donald Winnicott described and hence a bit fearful, moody and sad. But I am so blessed to have your supports, Ladies.

bytheseaside Mon 26-Nov-12 00:14:39

Hpbp fearful moody and sad pretty much covers it! So how long does it last ...? Baby seaside way too thin for john Lewis really, but i love the feel of the cotton and she looks so cute in the baggy plain white gros i have for night time. she's an old fashioned baby, logos and patterns don't feel right to sleep in some how

ff sending hugs, it sounds frightening but things will pick up and you will feel better able to cope with everything

night all. May be back to chat if tonight pans out as usual ...

littleredmonkey Mon 26-Nov-12 00:25:42

Bythesea. Morning hope u do get some sleep. I am desperate this evening can hardly focus on the key pad.

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