How young is too young for nursery

(7 Posts)
ems147 Tue 02-Oct-12 15:04:51

I'm currently on mat leave with dd2 due back in April (end of the paid 9 months) and I'm mulling over what to do regarding childcare for her when I go back or if I go back. With dd1 my partners mum had her when I worked in the week ( only part-time) and her dad at the weekend. This arrangement lasted for nearly a year but fell through as his mum couldn't commit, her husband works away sometimes with the job he has and she has to go with him. but it's completely unpredictable and would often get let us down the night before I was due in work and with no other back up available I wud hav to ring in work an not go in, so shortly b4 dd1 was 2 we decided to put her into nursery to elevate the stress this would cause us and my work. Plus we also thought it would be a good thing for dd1 to hav the opportunity to start socialising with children her age.
Dd2 will be 9 months in April and I have a nagging worry she will still be so young, maybe too young and I don't know if I could put her into nursery at that age, it's the same opinion my partner and his parents have. And she would love to have her but I just couldn't cope with the unreliability of her having her.
Realistically we need my extra income even though it isn't a lot as its only part time.
I would be grateful for anyone's opinion.

wfhmumoftwo Tue 02-Oct-12 15:14:43

This is really subjective and there is no right or wrong answer. Sometimes needs must anyway.
My own 2 children went full time to nursery at 9mths and 5 months and both settled in really well very quickly. I have friends who put their babies in at 3 months and 6 months, as well as those who left it until 2 or 3yrs. From my own experience, those who put them in younger than 1yr actually settled much quicker as they didn;t really know any different - those who were 2 ish found the separation much harder.
That is just my own experience and others will disagree.
Ultimately only you will be able to decide what you are comfortable with and this will also depend on the nurseries in your area. Have you considered a childminder if nurseries are making you uncomfortable?

Cillitbanger Tue 02-Oct-12 15:17:08

I would think she would be fine, in my experience it will be easier for her to start nursery at 9 months that at say 11 months or a year old when separation anxiety starts to take hold. My DD1 was in nursery full time from 11 months and she thrived there. It took her about two weeks to properly settle but then she has never looked back, however my friend's DD started at 8 months and settled within 2 days. I have always put this down to friend's DD being that bit younger. Hope that helps.

Bundlejoycosysweet Tue 02-Oct-12 16:15:50

I think nursery might be easier for some children. DS1 started at 6 months for two days a week and settled great and loved it, DS2 started at 9 months again for two days a week and also settled fine. However DD who is going to a childminders due to it being cheaper is really struggling and she is 8 months.

I wonder if she would feel happier in the slightly more hectic and distracting environment of nursery. Anyway my point is I really don't think 9 months is too young for nursery, especially if you find the right setting.

CPtart Tue 02-Oct-12 16:40:28

My first DS went at 4 months and my second at five months old (both part time). No problems at all. Now 9 and 7 years old and outgoing confident boys who went off to school without a backward glance.

Pudgy2011 Tue 02-Oct-12 17:20:49

DS went to daycare full time from 18 weeks (is 1 year now) - he absolutely loves it.

We put him into daycare when I first went back to work with a view to employing a full time helper but when we realised how good they were with him and how happy he was, we decided against having a helper. He learns far more at daycare with other babies than he ever would at home.

His daycare also encouraged me to drop in whenever I wanted (I work around the corner) to see him and have a cuddle, especially in the early days, more to appease me than him. He's never been clingy, is learning early how to share and loves being around other kids. I have absolutely no regrets and will do the same with any subsequent babies.

I think it completely depends on how you feel and what you feel is right for your baby, there is no right or wrong answer. I would have thought that the earlier they go and get used to it, the better though as it becomes part of their routine.

ZuleikaD Tue 02-Oct-12 18:40:22

Mine hated nursery and it was rubbish - never the same carer two days in a row and she never settled. It was a miserable 5 months for all of us and with hindsight I would definitely have used a childminder.

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