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Parenting

What do you do when your baby is sick and wants to be with you all night?

19 replies

Ironmaiden · 07/03/2006 13:05

I've had to co-sleep on and off since christmas with my perpetually sick dd (9.5months) as she becomes so clingy and wakes looking for me if I put her in her cot to sleep. Everytime she gets better then I have to wean her back into sleeping alone again and I feel like I'm going round and round in circles. It upsets us all.

Just curious to know what other mums do with their sick babies at night? I need dd to sleep alone for my own sanity and she IS an excellent independant sleeper when she's well!

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lucy5 · 07/03/2006 13:17

I dont mind co- sleeping but friends of mine have slept on a matress by the cot in their baby's room.

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Flossam · 07/03/2006 13:19

DS is generally healthy, but if he is poorly and wants to be with Mummy and Daddy then he can be. I worry less, and he sleeps better.

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Anchovy · 07/03/2006 13:25

We've had issues relating to this with DD. In general I think it is best for all concerned if she sleeps along in her own cot in her own room. When she is ill however one of us will obviously go into her, although I don't tend to pre emptively (other than checking before going to bed) unless she is coughing , crying or groaning through the monitor. If she is distressed she needs cuddling etc - and usually the easist thing to do for all concerned is to take her into the spare room bed with one of us. The bugger however is when she is getting better and she decides that it is much nicer sleeping in the spare room bed with DH or I.

In your shoes I would have her in with you when she is genuinely ill, but be firm on other occasions (I know - eaier said than done at 2.15am!) so that it is very clear that the cot is the norm and in with you is the exception.

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FairyMum · 07/03/2006 13:26

They sleep with me. Like Flossam, then I also worry less.

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Ironmaiden · 07/03/2006 13:27

But how do you get them back in their own bed after they're well again???

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Enid · 07/03/2006 13:31

I put them in with me. But they aren't often that ill.

dd1 slept with me for two nights a few months ago and she is 6.

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harpsichordcarrier · 07/03/2006 13:33

if they want to be in with you, have them in with you.
really, a sick nine month old needs you, I don't think there can be any argument about that.

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Flossam · 07/03/2006 13:35

Ah, DS has pooh bear who he is usually delighted to see in his cot. He has always had some kind of toy which is loosely and mainly associated with sleep. Smile

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MamaG · 07/03/2006 13:36

I agree, I'd just put her in with you and if she won't go back to sleeping in her cot, then so be it - I had this with my DS, I just couldn't let him sleep alone when ill, so have ended up with him in bed with me at some point almost every night. It's not ideal, but I can't bear to think of him being ill and alone.

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Bozza · 07/03/2006 13:36

If they are genuinely ill they come in with me and DH goes on the settee - unless it is DS when he goes in DS's bed but it never is DS. So DD comes in with me for odd nights when she is ill - but I don't mean just a cold. She has had a very heavy cold and conjunctivitis and came in with us from 6am on Saturday. She is dreadful though. Wouldn't sleep until 8 so I stayed in bed with her which suited my hangover and DH took DS for breakfast.

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Ironmaiden · 07/03/2006 13:52

DD has had (since new year) an ear infection, chesty cough, throat infection, vomiting and diohrrea, a viral infection which has an itchy rash with it and now another sore ear and throat, currently on anti-bs.

Obviously she's needed me a lot in the last 2 months but so long co-sleeping has made her so clingy, I'm hardly able to leave the room without her freaking out. She used to be so independant, I was really proud of her, but now she needs me there 24 hours a day and it's got a bit much for me.

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Poppyshed · 07/03/2006 14:08

Hi, if she needs me I stay up with her. There's no question about that. But you do have my sympathies, it is exhausting, (emotionally as well as physically), caring for a sick child. Like a lot of the kids on this thread my 13 month old dd has had various illnesses and infetions over the past few months and it's been tough. But that's all part and parcel of being a parent and I'm sure our folks did it for us. I must admit, I am more appreciative of them since I became a parent myself!

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Passionflower · 07/03/2006 14:20

DD's are allowed in bed with us if they are really ill/have a nightmare etc. We've never had a problem with them going back in their own beds once they're better.

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goreousgirl · 07/03/2006 14:26

Ironmaiden. Huge sympathy!! One of the best purchases I made (ebay £22) - was a fold down foam chair bed. I actually got it for my dd (6) to have in her room - but it's edged its way into ds's room (21 months)- and now, I sit with him at night to settle him, but if he's ill, I pull a duvet over me and hold his hand through the cot whilst I sleep on the chairbed. Once he gets better, he's happy just to stay in cot as normal.

Neither of my two are particularly independent - but he's a lot better than my daughter was - and we had her in our bed all the time!

Best of luck

Big cuddles to dd - hope she's better soon.

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Callisto · 07/03/2006 15:30

"co-sleeping has made her so clingy" I doubt very much that this is the case - more likely she has just reached the clingy stage. My dd sleeps with me every night and is very independant.

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Callisto · 07/03/2006 15:31

Also, if she is still poorly of course she will be more clingy. She's only a baby after all.

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Ironmaiden · 07/03/2006 18:57

You're probably right Callisto, but I've reinforced her clinginess by sleeping with her.

I've read back my original post and I sound very me me me! I'm just gutted I lost my great sleeper, thats all. It's no big deal where she sleeps as long as she stays as happy as she is.

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mousiemousie · 07/03/2006 19:00

Always have dd sleep with me if she is unwell in order to keep a close eye on her...dp sleeps in her bed!

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mousiemousie · 07/03/2006 19:02

i think if you have a child who is basically a good sleeper then there will be blips when they are unwell or teething...but only blips, things will always go back to normal after a short interval...and in my opinion the child needs you at night sometimes!

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