lots of general questions - comments please

[knat]

My 2.3 dd goes to bed at around 7.00pm/7.15. She's been getting up around 8.30am/9.00am. Although at the minute she is waking in the night not necessarily havingto get up to her but quite restless. I know everyone will think I'm mad but is this too long - she doesn't have a nap in teh day and i'm letting her sleep as i think she needs it if she's having disturbed sleep durign the night. i just think by the time she's had her milk and breakfast and dressed it's 10.00am. She's goes to pre-school later in the year so should i be trying to get her into a shorter sleep cycle? Or worry about this later!!!! The other thing is she has a bottle of milk on getting up and then her breakfast. At the minute not eating much breakfast as i assume she's having it too close to her bottle if iwaited to give her breakfast it would mean not being ready till even later!!! I tried not giving her a bottle when she got up as she was getting up later but she didn't like it and when she's had the 9oz she often asks for more so not sure about reducing the amount of milk plus she's not a big drinker - will have a cup of water during the day and another 9oz milk before bed. Any suggestions?

The other thing is at mealtimes she doesn't feed herself (can but doesn't) because she has to have distraction ie a book or colouring or something. I know some people say that as long as its a positiv experience it doesn't amtter at this age but i know on House of Tiny Tearaways etc they say not to do this and just to concentrate on the eating and i do wonder whether i'm making a rod for my own back and should somehow take the bull by the horns and if she doesn't eat she doesn't eat??? I don't know!!!!

[SoupDragon]

For a start, ditch the bottles and give her milk in a beaker with her breakfast.

[Bink]

Sleep times: wouldn't worry now - should think she'll start waking earlier naturally as the mornings get lighter. And maybe needing a bit less sleep too. Why doesn't she have a daytime nap? Is it because she's dropped it?

If she doesn't start waking a bit earlier, I'd start by moving her bedtime to an earlier time, rather than waking her in the morning.

Breakfast/milk: mine didn't have morning bottles beyond 12 months. They got a small drink in a lidded cup, which they took with them to breakfast (so gradually became part of breakfast instead of part of waking up). Don't know what others will say, but I don't think she needs a bottle. She might be grumpy about giving it up but if you agree she doesn't need it you will just have to persevere!

Distractions at mealtimes: yes, you are making a rod for your back. See above re if you agree, persevere.

[wannaBe1974]

I wouldn?t worry too much about sleep either at the moment unless you are also concerned about her energy levels during the day. If she?s having this much sleep and is still tired during the day then might be worth having a word with your GP but seriously I wouldn?t be too concerned ? think most of us wished our kids slept till 9:00 each morning.

Agree with what others have said ? ditch her bottle in favour of a beker and give it to her after she?s eaten breakfast not before. It seems she?s filling up on milk and is therefore not hungry for breakfast.

Also agree re feeding ? you are definitely making a rod for your own back. I would start to get tough on her and tell her she needs to feed herself and that you?re not going to do it for her, try walking away from her, pretend you have to do something else quickly if she has a tantrum and insists you feed her, she might just give up then and realize that in order to get the food she will have to feed herself.

Good luck

[knat]

thanks everyone so far - keep them coming. She's nto that fussed about food or drink so i tried putting the milk in the same sort of cup as her water but she won't touch it out of that. I've tried leaving her to it with food but as i say she's not that fussed about food either so it doesn't seem to bother her. I know that if i let her go without at some point she will have the message i suppose its the old thing of not wanting her to go to bed hungry and also if she doesn't eat her tea not giving her something afterward so she doesn't go to bed hungry.

She's not having a daytime nap because she's generally dropped it unless she gets up at around 7 ish then she may have one.

[jenweber630]

I agree with the bottle - she's far too old for this and I think getting her off that is a good start. As for the sleeping, she'll be able to adjust to a new sleep schedule with school starting and that shouldn't be too bad - though definitely start talking to her about it a few weeks before she will have to get up early - maybe think about getting her to pick out her own alarm clock that she can set the night before when you get to that point so she can have a little control over the whole thing. As far as eating, definitely focus on eating. However, to get her to do this initially, you may want to tell her that as long as she keeps eating, she can have the activity close by to do once she's done eating and make it a bit of a reward at least initially for eating her meal herself. If she likes to watch telly while she eats, let her watch as long as she takes a bite every 30 seconds (you may need a timer initially). Anyway, it's just some thoughts - I hope you get things sorted out!

[knat]

thanks janweber. Well morning bottle dropped !!! Seems to be ok at the moment - first cuple of days she was a bit grumpy and on Saturday murmed bottle at me but i distracted her and she then ate her breakfast. Eating - still have some distraction but i'm emcouraging her to feed herself whilst reading/looking at book etc. I might load spoon/fork and then she takes it off me and puts it in her mouth - so getting there very slowly. Will keep persevering. Thanks

[mogwai]

could you eat together and get rid of the distraction? That way she can copy you like a "big girl"?

[cece]

wow 9 oz in one drink is a lot.... no wonder she isn't eating her breakfast!

ds same age has one lidded cup of milk a day at bedtime. The rest of the day just has water or juice. Either in lidded cup (if out and about) or in a plastic beaker (at meal times sitting at the table) When he still had milk at breakfast he always had his food first then milk later on.

As for sleep ds goes to bed about 7.15 pm but I have to get him up at about 7.30 am for the school run. He has an hour or so nap in the afternoon.

I would start now and make gradual chnages to her sleep pattern. What time will she need to get up? Wake her 10 mons earlier every week so that by the time pre-school comes it won't be such a big shock!

ds feeds himself always (in fact has a paddy if I try to feed him) and uses knife, fork and spoon reasonable well. He has nothing else on the table and concentrates on eating. But having sadi that he has always been a VERY keen eater with a big apetite. He has to sit at the table for meals too unles there is a picnic in the garden during the summer!

[knat]

we do eat together but she's not itnerested in copying me!!! She does always sit at the table and i have found her a little bit better at eating when she's got finger foods which she's really into at the minute -so maybe the independence is coming?


I think as the lighter mornings come the sleep may sort itself out - the last couple of mornings have been before 8.00am so that's better (although i'm not complaining of havinga lie in!!!)

Will persevere with the eating andfeeding front - at least made a start with thedropping of the morning bottle.