shouting at my baby and feel like a bad mum

[CarolinaMoon]

my ds is 12mo and has started to have quite forceful wants, as opposed to needs, about things - like, I'll be cooking and he'll demand in a really shouty, grating fashion to have a feel of the raw mince I'm about to cook.

This is fine sometimes, but I find it really hard to deal with if we're both tired and end up screeching "just wait fgs, it needs to be cooked" or whatever. And he's obviously too young to understand about waiting.

I guess I should just ignore the really whiny stuff, but it really pushes my buttons and I don't want to turn into a screechy harridan type of mum, particularly as ds is a nice, smiley baby most of the type.

Any tips gratefully received, thanks .

[CarolinaMoon]

"time", not "type"

[Twiglett]

pick him up take him out of the room and leave him there .. he'll follow you in but it might stop him...he will soon learn that whiny behaviour gets nothing

give him a plastic bowl or saucepan and some wooden spoons to clatter around whilst you cook .. you can put different things in his bowl .. like pasta or rice that he can play with

or give him a chocolate biscuit or messy yogurt and that will shut him up

they all do it

[flashingnose]

Distraction, definitely. And a muzzle .

[highlander]

I'm going through the same thing ATM. DS is getting over a virus, is teething and is very, very clingy - on top of the usual 14mo behaviour! I'm knackered, DH is working late every night and I yelled at DS in the street today when he pulled his booties off. I feel so crap when all DS wants is a bit of TLC I guess.

I have 2 kitchen cupboards that he is only allowed in when I really can't pick him up - my desperation distraction activities!! Kitchen roll, rolls of freezer bags, cling film, tin foil, bag of flour etc etc. He makes tons of mess, I get a bit narked at it (silently) but he does enjoy it and I can get 30 mins of peace to cook. Often when he is whinging, he will give up after a few mins and amuse himself by dragging stuff out of drawers, or filling the bin up with veggies.

What absolutely does not work for DS is giving him toys to play with - it has to be grown up stuff!!

Muchos sympathy

[hermykne]

carolina
are the times in the day when he gets like that? and is it when you are doing something adult specifically.
what i try to do with my 2 is when their mood is good and they are busy , usually am, i get ironing done etc, then i try and get dinner organised, as predicatably around 5pm my dd gets tired and ds just wants food or is acting up like yours. are you at home with him?
i get mine out every afternoon even for 5mins (in the rain) and it just distracts them and gives us something to occupy our minds with, when we get back - "did you see the windmill...blah di blah"

i would the same as you , end up cursing, and just wonder why it comes to that, and it ends up being such an effort on my part to be continualy consistant with them. its hardddd work

you are allowed the odd FFS imo!

[CarolinaMoon]

thanks for the advice and sympathy .

you are right about cooking during the day instead, hermykne - will have to get myself a bit more organised I think to avoid the flashpoints.

[vivie]

my dss are 12 months and 3 and I have really hard times of the day too - getting meals ready is a real stress sometimes. I try to feed them whatever dh and I ate the night before, warmed up in the microwave and then all I have to do is make them some fresh pasta or something.

My 2 really like to stand on a chair turned round so they can lean against the work surface and 'cook' with me. If I'm not using it I switch the microwave off at the wall and give them a small bowl with a few bits of carrot / raisins / shreddies or somthing and a spoon and they spend ages stirring and 'cooking' it. Ds1 has a blunt knife and a board and will chop (mash) mushrooms quite happily. Both of them also like washing up. Ds2 has to be really closely supervised in case he steps off the chair but ds1's pretty steady now.

[Passionflowerinapeartree]

Re kitchens, I found the only answer was a stairgate on the kitchen door. Baby on sitting room side - me in kitchen doing cooking.