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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

I am such a crappy parent :-(

21 replies

magnolia1 · 13/09/2005 15:56

1st thread Ive started and its a horrible one

At the beginning of the holidays Dd2 and Dd3 (twins age 6) had their ears pierced. Today was pe and the 1st time dd2 had to have them taken out. Well she screamed so hard when we had to put them back in and in her frustration wacked me!!

I got so angry I sent her upstairs so we could both calm down
She now says she doesn't want them anymore and although I would never force her to have them. She asked for months before hand and I was honest saying it would hurt but she still wanted it and was fine when we originally got them done.

So do I just leave them and let the holes close up? And what if she changes her mind and wants them back in but the holes are closing up?

I now feel so upset that I could become so angry over something as silly as earrings although her hitting me didn't help

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spacedonkey · 13/09/2005 15:59

Hey, you're not a bad parent!

I had exactly the same situation with my dd. We just left it and let the holes heal up - no big deal. She had them done again about a year later when she was a bit more grown up and could handle the discomforts involved better!

kid · 13/09/2005 16:20

Like SD says, just leave them to close up. If she wants them done again in the future, then you can make a decision then.

Otherwise, do you think you could attempt to put them in while she is asleep?

magnolia1 · 13/09/2005 16:28

God no She is such a loud screamer if I woke her she would wake the whole street

I think I will just leave them. He twin sister maid a bit of fuss when hers were put back in but she is ok about it being done on pe days. The weird thing is Kira made no fuss at all when she had them done so I though out of the 2 it would be her sister who changed her mind.

Oh well not to worry. Have just asked her if she wants to try herself but she has said she was silly to have them done ans will wait till she is older How sweet and grown up

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kid · 13/09/2005 16:34

My DD is 6 1/2 and also has her ears pierced. She wears studs but doesn't have to remove them for PE. She makes such a fuss when I take her earings out to clean them (which isn't often) so I know how difficult it must be for you to put them back in. It hardly seems worth it if you have to go through it every single week!

magnolia1 · 13/09/2005 16:47

Pe is 3 times a week so i really can't do it that often

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aloha · 13/09/2005 16:50

Not a bad parent (unless you had a dummy ) and I agree, let them decide. If the hole closes up, then it's not really a big deal. I am appalled at what makes me see red sometimes, I really am. Got very angry with ds for not posing properly for a photograph recently and feel very ashamed of that.

ScummyMummy · 13/09/2005 16:58

I lost it totally with my two for giggling (in what I interpreted as a very colluding disrespectful way) while I was telling one of them off for saying something unrepeatable this morning. When I reflected on what had made me so mad I just couldn't think what I was playing at... It's so hard sometimes isn't it? I really don't want them to say this word ever, ever again but I've given them no clear idea of why not, just shown them that I am more childish than they are when really roused. So loads of sympathy to you with dd magnolia and you with ds aloha.

magnolia1 · 13/09/2005 17:29

Thank goodness its not just me

My problem is I tend to lose it a bit more than I think I should

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kcemum · 13/09/2005 21:29

Ihad the same problems with d2 earrings, the only way we found them easier to put in was to wet the stem of her earrings, this worke well and we've not had any problems for the last year (unless you count the time that she got the earring back stuck in the hole and hd to have it remove in A&E )

Tortington · 13/09/2005 22:50

why not apologise to her in the morning and just say " i lost my temper and i'm sorry"
i do this when i lose the plot - it is appreciated and often i get a consecending pat on the back ( who is the parent here!) and a " it's ok mummy"

then ask if she wants to keep them.

maybe buy some other stud type earrings for weekend wear just as a guilt pick up thing!

Mytwopenceworth · 13/09/2005 22:52

Her ears, her choice. My opinion, fwiw (ie nothing!!) is do what she says. If she doesn't want them back in, put them in a drawer and let her ears heal up.

magnolia1 · 13/09/2005 22:56

Have had huge cuddles with her tonight

Bless her she appologised to me for making such a fuss and I appologised too.

She is adamant that she doesn't want earrings now (rolling eyes emotion) so her sister will have an extra pair

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Aero · 13/09/2005 23:05

I will tell dd this story next time she pesters me as she has been doing on and off over the summer. They have to remove them for PE too and there's no way she'd cope with that, despite thinking she can! I've told her she can have them done when she goes to big school, so just another six years to wait. I can see we might have more than a few conversations with her begging and me refusing!

magnolia1 · 13/09/2005 23:11

Definately show her this but I have to say. Dd1 who is 10 did exactly the same she had hers done at 5yrs and refused to have them put back in so they closed up and she had them re done age 8yrs. Told dd2 about it but it didn't put her off... now look shes the bloody same [rolling eyes]

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Aero · 13/09/2005 23:13

lol - sometimes as parents, we just can't win!

Empress · 13/09/2005 23:20

Is it me or is 6 a bit young for ear piercing? if they're too young to manage their own earrings surely they're too young to have them in the first place? Ooh, please don't come after me, MNetters ...too late, I can see the angry mob on the horizon, fingers poised over keyboards...i think i'll go to bed!

Ulysees · 13/09/2005 23:23

you're not bad at all mags. I lost it with ds1 yesterday (shouting) and he went to school sad It was only over him not being able to find something in the morning. Felt sooooo guilty as he's not likely to be tidy living with dh and I

magnolia1 · 13/09/2005 23:24

Pmsl!!!! Yes go to bed right now before the linch mob arrives

I agree with you that they should be able to look after their ears but you can't know if they will be great at it like Twin 1 or to scared like twin 2!!

DD3 (twin 1) has no problen with it and they both got them done at the same time so no its not too young in my opinion but it does depend on each child as I have learned

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magnolia1 · 13/09/2005 23:26

Ulysees: Thanks, I know its awful when you shout or get angry with them and then they go off somewhere before you get to make it right

I did that with Dh this morning and had to turn around and go back to say sorry

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mymama · 14/09/2005 07:24

Are you allowed to put tape over them for PE??? This is what most netballers do.

magnolia1 · 14/09/2005 10:19

Nope no tape allowed. The holes are closing up already so I don't think she really has the option of changing her mind now !!

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