Those 'Firsts' you don't write in the baby book. . .(160 Posts)
First steps, first words, first haircuts, great baby book fodder.
Today, DS (14mo) had another first that I won't write in the book:
In Mothercare, took DS out of pushchair to try something on him. He started walking a month ago and now wants to walk all the time, so I let him stay out and toddle (wasn't busy in there). Turned my head for a few seconds to look at something, looked back and he was gone!
Cue mad dash around area in a wild panic, mind thinking the worst, 'there's no one in here, how could he have been taken?'. After an eternity (15 seconds), spotted his arse sticking out from under a clothing rack where he was hiding, not two feet from where I'd been.
So, first time lost in a shop: 21 October 2010
And I can't remember the exact date, but we had a 'First shit in the bath' a few months ago.
Other 'Firsts' you'd like to forget? Confess them here!
One first I clearly remember - the first christmas play. DS standing at the front row of "angels" age 4 years 1 month, alternating picking his nose and eating it and playing with his willy with his hand down his trousers. Got that one on video for the ritual humiliation when he brings his first girlfriend home
The first ever poo- <shudder>
The first time we played hide and seek and I thought "ooh DD is bit quiet" (aged about 15 months) she was under the table calmly attempting to swallow a 2 pence piece.....
Followed up by first frantic call to NHS direct.
The first proper tantrum in public. Wrestling with a 1 and a half year old and losing badly. Buggy goes over as you try to cram them back in while everyone walks past tutting, and the only person who stops to help is a drop dead gorgeous builder....
First time DC kicks a stranger in the face. A stranger mummy quite fancied.
First time DD nearly got hit by a car when she forgot how to stop her scooter. Cue my hysterics when I get there just in time. Mind you this was also first time she said "I love you mummy" off her own back
First anaphlatic shock
first peadiatric appoint - Pead was a twat but ds peed into his mouth.
First exploded nappy, and accompanied first 3hour clean up of nappy innards from child, child's cloths and cot, floor and everywhere else.
first time they discover how babies are made (the mechanical aspect ie penis in vagina bit) combined with the first time you realise that you really really have to check the contents of the science information book you have let them look at because you didnt know they could read that well.
Ds' first realisation that you have to left the errection subside in the morning before you can get dressed.
the first time they get brought back by a policeman
the first time they make grandmother puke because the describe in detail how to gut a fish. Complete with all gore and explanations as to what each internal organ does/did for the soon to be fried for tea fish
The first time you realise they are never going to believe in things like father christmas and the tooth fairy
God help me when he gets to be a teenager the kid is only 6.
First time you attempt to tell them off (DD pulling phone wire out of socket, say NO! loudly, DD looks at you, repeat three times, DD cries, --Mummy immediately picks DD up and cuddles-- Mummy stays strong and enforces her discipline.
DD's first period, THREE DAYS OLD! Blumin BF hormones, good job myself and huge portion of family is nursey otherwise would've crapped myself.
First time DD - 18 mo - farted on my lap and then forced another 3 out because I was laughing so much - yesterday!
First time he got travel sick...on a long distance train, voluminously sick down my top, it went all down in my bra and collected in pools, all down my back and in my hair, all over the middle of the carriage floor...
Stripped of naked in a soft play area.
Thank god I did my keigels as can barely see from crying and laughing so much.
Thanks for a great start to my day
DS first 'there's been an incident' at nursery was deciding to have a pee up the garden fence, just missing his key workers feet
DS1's first "open" usage of the word "Penis"
HE's always known what the proper word was since he was young, but always referred to it as a "pee-pee" in front of me and around his brothers - so they call it the same thing. He's said the word to me often enough in quite, private conversations but nothing more.
But yesterday I had the delight of hearing him yell
"DS2 STOP SITTING ON DS3's PEEEEEEENIS"
at the top of his voice, next to the dining room window, which is single glazed, at the front of the house and lets even "normal" conversations filter through.......
OP - my ds2, aged 23mo at the time, got lost in Meadowhall shopping centre, in Next to be precise. He'd decided to climb out of the car-thing that we'd hired to push him round in supposedly to entertain him, and next thing, gone.
Me : almost hysterical, running round the shop like a loon, they put three staff on the doors and stopped anyone going in or out.
Him : trots about for a bit, then decided to take himself round the back of the cash desk (realising they couldn't see him from the front) and said "I've got out of the little car but I really need to find my mummy back now". Said shop assistant picks him up, he points me out, job done.
oooh, pmsl - ohhh such fond memories
first poo on the carpet (please don't tell me it's just my lot who have done it?)
playing with "Happyland" and the farmer tells the fireman to 'piss off'
First time your little darling tells the grandparents what Daddy said when someone drove out of the side road in front of him
first time they eat someone else's lunch or biscuit as well as their own...
ooh I'm a parent now and can join in some of these!
first A&E trip was at 3 days old when he was jaundiced and had low blood sugar and wouldn't wake to feed
first major poo leak on public transport was yesterday on a train from Leeds to London on my own with him (he's 3 months) - and the baby changing cubicle was out of order... had already changed one nappy on the floor in the vestibule, but had to ask the guard on this one who took me all the way through first class with poo practically dripping through my fingers to the baby change toilet there.
I can't remember my exact response but it was followed by 'I know you have been reading magazine problem pages and I told you not to'
marriednotdead - sounds like a very difficult question !
ooohh too many horrendous memories all involving my two ds bums and willies.
Ds1-peeing in park-'look mummy amt I clever' (shock)
In the pet food shop, hearing the proverbial "uh-ohh mummy" turning round and seeing steam resonating from Ds1 trousers.
On holiday and hearing Ds1 chant " nanannanana" as he moons them, (they had just arrived that morning, maybe he was welcoming them!!)
And lastly, Dp explaining very proudly that he had taught Ds2(18mths) to trump on command!!
Like the idea of an alternative baby first book!
One "first time" that I won't forget in a hurry is when both DS's were in our bed early one morning playing/chatting when DS2 (age 2) launched himself backwards and straight onto my face (I was lying down in the bed) and fractured my nose!!
First (and only) time dh left in charge of dd at service station with friends. Too busy talking sport with his mate to notice that dd had fled the scene and was in the shop by the door to a service station on the m6. She was 18 months, I was having a wee stop and dh was meant to be holding her but put her down so she could have a run around , the thoughts that went through my head at the time - out onto the road on her own, someone taking her......Divorce was mentioned. Since then she has come to the loo with me.
(DD could only have been further away if she had gone up the steps to services on the other side of the motorway.)
First time DS1 uttered a recognisable word. Driving along a country lane, another vehicle passed us on the other side. "Car," he said. I was so excited, but wasn't sure if I'd heard correctly. Then it happened again. "Car," he said. And again. "No, that's a van," I said. "Van," he repeated. He was able to spot the difference and correctly identified cars and vans.
Got a bit more complicated with other vehicles.
"Lorry," I said. "Nanu," he repeated.
"Landrover," I said. "Nova nova," he repeated.
Can't begin to spell the weird utterance he made for 'tractor'.
First major poo-leak on public transport... followed by full change of clothes and nappy on our laps (thank god there were two of us) - DD 4 months (it was a train)
First hysterical trip to A&E with new born, leading to....
First (and hopefully last) paediatrician's evil look which I knew she reserved for morons worried mothers and mentally put me on a list of munchhausen by proxy suspect, weirdos.
First free-fall/ no-nappy poo: luckily I had my foot on the peddle bin and DS's poo arched nicely in.
First baby projectile vomit, leading to... first 'find the noxious substance': saw said vomit leave DS's mouth at a million miles an hour, reached for cloth, where had it gone? Low and behold: DS's top pocket.
And now we know why they put pockets on baby clothes
First time the little petted bottom lip slowly rolls out and they start to cry - I never realised this really happens and can't remember at how many months old but it is soooooooooooo heartbreakingly cute (as long as they aren't crying at anything bad of course!)
It's just the way it rolls out like a rollerblind (?!?) and you just know a WAAAAAAAH is on it's way. Then it disappears and they never do it again but the full on tantrums aint far behind!
First time being mortified in public: Nephew aged 3, me and sis were having lunch at mcDonald's a lovely cafe, nephew started playing with a boy at the next table. other boy points to his family and says "That's my mum and my Dad and my sister". Nephew says in return "That's my two Mummies".
How do you even start to explain.
First broken bone (youngest DD, earlier this year)
First bike rear-wheel skid that ended up with same DD at hospital...
First really nasty tummy bug (I don't remember ever having them so was completely panic stricken...and experienced this with twins who caught the bug on the same night)
First time DD escaped from the buggy straps and tipped it over backwards (!) luckily ok
First experience of headlice (ugh)
First threat from DS aged 4..."If you don't do what I say I'm leaving this family!"
Unfortunately MIL and I just laughed, which rather took the wind out of his sails!
First nightmare horror ferry trip with DCs...huge waves, all 3 vomited on cue, and spent the rest of the time with their faces in sick-bags like little ponies...
First time DD did a wee on me in public (we were on a train
too many to mention (okay, trying hard to forget
dd1 first A&E visit after she 'helped' mummy close the stair gate, pushed it straight through and tumbled all the way down the stairs on to the tiled hallway, aged 20 mths
dd1 trying to get something out of cutlery drawer while sitting on work top and going down head first on to quarry tiled kitchen floor...
dd1 dancing in the kitchen and slipping on an acorn collected from the park earlier that day,and hitting the corner of Victorian skirting board with her forehead...
there seems to be a head injury thread here - all within about 6 months... she has been fine since and seems reasonably lucid most of the time... Luckily no serious injuries yet for dd1 (9 mths)
More benign... first chocolate button: dd1 aged 2.6, dd2 aged 8 mths So much for second babies...
first trip to a&e @2 DAYS old vomitted blood which turned out to be cracked nipples, which i had checked but not spotted.
first escape from highchair and straps result,first fall from computer desk, first call out of ambulance, first Xrays but no broken bone
first vomit on the new carpet
first time of using poo as play doh, feeding it to the toy dolphin and smearing it over the not so new carpet
first poo in the bath,
first poo in the bath on me
first wee in daddys face/hair, will he listen when you tell him to cover his willy, no they have to learn the hard way!
first time dd weed in a toy fryingpan and it overflowed whilst dh was "watching" dd
Join the discussion
Please login first.