Swagger Inn. Swaggering our way to a silver jubilee! Thread 25

(1000 Posts)
MalcolmTuckersMistress Fri 06-Jun-14 20:47:56

Let's celebrate by snogging the cardinal! Well, ok then I will. <shoved Drink out of the way>

I think we should have our own awards ceremony. As mentioned before by a clever wench ( I can't remember who!) the TWATS. It must nearly be our 6 month Anniversary. I also think that the TWATS deserve to have their own thread. So why don't we all think about the categories?


Flopsy28 Fri 06-Jun-14 20:53:10

Best Use Of A Random Prop (shit idea but essentially just thread marking)

FolknNorah Fri 06-Jun-14 20:53:11

What does TWATS stand for?

Sparklegeek Fri 06-Jun-14 20:54:09

Me!! I was clever wench!

Tavern Wenches Awards Trophies

MadamedeChevreuse Fri 06-Jun-14 21:04:30

Jubilee celebration!!!!! Wenches on a barge down the Thames singing God Save Anne!!!!

MadamedeChevreuse Fri 06-Jun-14 21:05:11

(She ain't no human being.)

MalcolmTuckersMistress Fri 06-Jun-14 21:55:14

Ah yes Sparkle! Perhaps if we hurry up with it you can do a prize giving with certificates at the meet up?? Hahaha that would be so ACE!

Flopsy28 Fri 06-Jun-14 22:00:01

The nominations in my category:

Porthos and fork
Mother S and brandy bombs
Aramis and dummy baby
Athos and large hat

Any to add?

MalcolmTuckersMistress Fri 06-Jun-14 22:17:47

Musketeers category:

Twitchiest vage moment

Wench category:

Best quote

FolknNorah Fri 06-Jun-14 22:29:09

Best lusty eyes.
Best sex face.
Most likely to get it from Norah.

Musketeers category:

Best look
Best move in a fight scene without weapon
Best move in a fight scene using weapon
Best come hither moment using minimal words and actions but of an obvious sexual nature
Best fit of cock in my [any orifice, and/or hands and feet]

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 07:26:06

Sexiest use of clothing

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 07:29:01

Are we doing awards for ourselves too malc? Confused. Also, what, a separate (non tavern) thread for the awards?

flops I love your random prop category. I vote aramis and the ridiculous dummy baby.

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 08:14:54

flops: cardinal and the knee bone of St Anthony of Padua.

LetUsPrey Sat 07-Jun-14 08:24:56

Morning wenches. Will give categories a think. Don't get your hopes up.

Need to leave house in five minutes with DS2. He's not finished his breakfast and isn't dressed. Great.

Laterz. <snogs all round>

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 08:44:58

Nomination for sexiest use of clothing:


Other nominations:

cardinal swishy cloak
Aramis grey billowy shirt
Dog bandage

Oblomov Sat 07-Jun-14 09:01:51

Found you. Eventually.
Nice. That NOONE takes a blind bit if notice if anything I day/ any of my suggestions.
I suggested that a link, to new thread, was shears ousted, in the last few posts of old thread.

My muske-wench evening was good. Lots if wine and French food.
Quite a few hadn't seen the new series at all.
We watched episode 1. And a couple if the extra bits. That I had obviously never seen before. I enjoyed those alot.
My friend has now lent me her dvd.

Just about to start watching some more extras.

Off to catch up with thread bits I have missed.

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 09:16:43

What am I doing that nobody else seems to be re finding/losing threads? I just go to Other Subjects & there they all are since we left Telly Addicts? Makes me smile when I scroll down the list of threads in Other Subjects. We're bloody taking over Mumnsnet. Soon they'll have to rename it Swaggernet.

There can't be any other entries in the Sexiest Use of Clothing category. It wouldn't be fair.

Trouble with that Obloms is that it's often a different wench each time. We would need to make it a proper Tavern rule and get every wench to sign in blood that they will respect the 5th to last post ALWAYS a link post.

What I tend to do, is open the link as soon as it appears and keep the other page ope on my phone. Or, if you go into link immediately and type anything, it will store in your 'threads I'm on'.

Right then The TWATS.

Sexiest use of clothing -

Athos white billowy shirt in ep 1 wake up standing with sword behind his back.

Athos white billowy shirt in ep 3 (?) after house fire at Chateau de la Fere.

Sexiest use of a weap


*Sexiest use of a weapon*:

Athos morning stretch holding sword behind back ep 1.

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 09:28:50

I can see how these TWATS are going already. Team A1 vote for A1 for everything. Team A2 the same. Dog & Porthos leave the party early. Party turns into a fight.

I thought the TWATS were awards for the wenches?

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 09:49:14

Thats what I was asking sparkle, can they not be both like malc said?

Oooh oooh...If we set up a musketeers awards thread in july in telly addicts (excuse: 6 months / 6 trillion swagger inn posts etc) and be REALLY FUNNY, it might make the mailshot and jp might see and offer us press passes to doskany....?????

QueenAnneofAustriaSpain Sat 07-Jun-14 10:01:30

Oblomov... I do what Sparkle does (great minds strike once again). Click Other Subjects and then the most recent thread is always at the top.

The belt unbuckling has to be the sexiest use of clothing, and I think we should let A2 have the weapon one.

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 10:03:13

Oops RTFT Sparkle. Didn't see there are wench AND show categories.

Don't worry about the mailshot...I can tweet JP the results or Badders can email her. smile


MalcolmTuckersMistress Sat 07-Jun-14 10:04:36

Oh I think we do it for Musketeers and Wenches.

The rules state there must be plenty of the following:


X posting



All true tavern style really.

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 10:06:45

Oblo did you say some of last night's group didn't know there's a second series?

Clearly they are amateurs. You ain't getting backstage with them love.

You know where you belong.

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 10:18:06

Actually I nominate milady holding dagger to athoss throat amd him going "do it" as sexiest use of weapon.

Or aramis in queenie bedding scene. fnar.

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 10:18:47

Those rules sound spot on malc.

JessCate Sat 07-Jun-14 10:34:15

Morning! Nice end to last thread cinnamon grin

Also no hannah no Pat vs Peggy we all know my chandelier earrings will knock you out in 2 seconds, I was v v v stressed when I was away, don't hold it against me blame my boss !!

I've just tried on a whole bunch of holiday clothes and i might be ready to start packing soon.. Oh can some wench shoot me if I haven't half-packed by Friday?!

MrsBeeee Sat 07-Jun-14 10:39:14

Morning <yawns>

Just realised I have made a serious error. Let DH get up with the kids this morning and slept in for a bit. Which means it is my turn to get up with them tomorrow. But I am out tonight at booze book group and it is usually messy. Crap, up early with a hangover sad

MrsBeeee Sat 07-Jun-14 10:40:05

Jess when do you leave? Pack the day before.

Best tits in a corset:

Best hands on hips wench swagger:

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 10:46:18

Best Stare

Best Candidate for Honorary Tavern Membership

Best snog

Morning all.
Have we had best scolding of others (Cardinal and Treville could get a look in here)
Most complicated costume to remove in a hurry
Best chest hair (on the musketeers not us obviously!)
Best double bluff/complicated plan
Best bromance moment

Best use of sexy leaning pose

Most likely to fall off their horse in a scene

Best shouty acting

best facial hair (again not us, lets not go there!)

MrsBeeee Sat 07-Jun-14 10:58:54

Best sword fighting extra.

Worst guest star.

Best comedy moment.

ApricotCrush Sat 07-Jun-14 11:08:38

This is going to be chaos as usual there are too many categories.

Nominations just off the top of my head before dashing out:

Best Random Prop: Books used as weapons in Rebellious Woman.

Sexiest Use of Weapon: Athos holding sword to Milady's throat as she's on her knees.

Best Snog: Alley scene

Best Comedy Moment: "I can't believe you slept with the Queen" scene

Best Quote by Wench: (On Pancake Day) "Save a pancake, toss a Musketeer"
(Can't remember who it was, but you will know who you are. It kept me laughing all day)

LaComtessdelafere Sat 07-Jun-14 11:10:32

Morning all!!

These TWATS are a great idea.

I do think we need to put our team affiliations aside and really think genuinely about who/what was best gringrin I promise I will try. Tho I am often transfixed by screen and can only watch one person and might have missed stuff...

Best rider (fnar)
Best punch in face (this will be hotly contended)
Most gallant moment (personal favourite 'I've got you' Aramis/q

MrsBeeee Sat 07-Jun-14 11:12:23

If choosing the categories is chaos wait until we start counting the votes and agreeing arguing about winners. Good thing we are already in a tavern and therefore don't need to organise the proverbial piss up. Carnage grin

grin grin grin

Voting should obviously only take place during a time of alcohol consumption. Just to lubricate matters and enhance the chaos grin

Best Kingy line/scene:

Best female one liner:
Whatserface from slums
Ninon <spits>

Does any other wench, after typing/saying in head, Ninon - do police car siren in head <nee naw nee naw nee naw> grin

Hannah Do you hate Ninion because she got a snog with Athos twice or is it something else? I'm genuinely interested cause I quite like her

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 11:28:52

Most Gets The Tavern's Goat Character For No Apparent Reason: whoever Verruca is going to play. Which is pretty good going love, 6 months before we've even seen you on screen.

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 11:32:37

Right I have Shredded & planked. Due to rain.

Off out his arvo for DS1's footie presentation & bowling.

Oooooh just seen trailer for new series of Friday Night Dinner - yay!

Verrrrrrrrry quiet on the Twitter front today.

Not even anything from Lurky??

Hate is such a strong word Trev. Let's just say we're all jealous and bitter she's not a favourite among the wenches. For various reasons. Many of which I'm not even aware of grin

It's a wench solidarity thing. I got my wench's backs. and a book to smack her over the head with.

It's all dramatic Tavern style 'hatred' though. Bit like the Salt thing <spits>. It's all in good fun. it isn't, and she will get a proper Peggy slap if she comes round 'ere sniffing up our men again

On the other hand. We love Queenie. Adore Constance. And begrudgingly like/fancy Milady.

I think we like what Ninon stood for. It was just the close proximity to our the men, that made us want to kill her grin grin

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 11:34:47

Oh - and why does SC scoring a penalty GMTRH?

Why is this?

JessCate Sat 07-Jun-14 11:36:58

mrsb I fly out early early Sunday morning, so I could pack on Saturday but I don't wanna be all in a rush! So am thinking by Friday evening I need to be half packed, as I'm getting my nails done on Wednesday and don't wanna damage them packing last minute! #highmaintenanceproblems

Oi! --Pat-- JESS!!!!

Gerr 'ere. Naaaaaaaaaaaaah!

To save us time I have sped up the conversation using the medium of photos........

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 11:39:08

I think it's hilaire how all the wenches have taken to/or not the same female characters.

I can picture it in my head. Connie & Queen turn up at the door and we all abandon our musketeers for 5 mins & buy them a drink. Ninon & Verruca would set off alarms & klaxons when they got within 500 yards & we'd be like Isobel at the nunnery swinging that bolt across & all 20 of us backs against the door from inside.

Milady I think it would depend on the TOTM with our synchronised hormones grin

Where you been you bitch?

I've been BUSY!

Ok let's make up. Shall we go daaaan the Tavern for a few drinks?....

No. Let's just get drunk in this ice-cream van instead..

Fuck it!!!! My last pic can't be used. Thanks to fat bastard yesterday!

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 11:43:59

I tell you, if somebody went through & catalogued every pic that had been put on/linked to int ep sat 37,000 posts it would be absolutely friggin mental. We could make them into a book & make our collective fortunes.

grin grin fair enough Hannah. thanks for that - I shall reassess my attitude towards her based on the wench code of honour. grin

Right - feeling a bit bleurgh so Lazy day in bed today - off for a re watch for perving research purposes. I will get the captain in these awards if it kills me!

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 11:44:31

IN THE PAST 37000 posts fucking typing skills

QueenAnneofAustriaSpain Sat 07-Jun-14 11:44:55

Malcolm I hope you are making a note so that we can have the TWATs. Or whoever had the idea in the first place.

A consolidated list of the actual categories/nominations etc so I know what I am thinking about because frankly I can remember nothing but that the gif of Aramis unbuckling reappeared.

QueenAnneofAustriaSpain Sat 07-Jun-14 11:45:55

The gallantry one could be Treville... he took one for the team.

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 11:46:06

Oh Treville is so in the awards.

Best Shout In Their Faces Angry But Yes A Turn On moment.

QueenAnneofAustriaSpain Sat 07-Jun-14 11:46:54

FFS I was going to do a 5 mile walk but it is pissing down.

Now I have to stop everyone fighting and do a mass tidy up with DC moaning about tidying the mess they have made.

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 11:48:34

Now that Madame found that unbuckling again it's open in its own tab on my laptop. I can't for the life of me remember what bit of which ep that is from because my brain turns to mush every time WITHOUT FAIL.

Anne has it filtered through that tomorrow it's SUIT and FOOTBALL KIT???????? <Cries>

Oh thanks for the Captain love Queen Anne and Sparkle thanks. I loves you I do smile. feeling less bleurgh already smile

QueenAnneofAustriaSpain Sat 07-Jun-14 11:54:19

Do you know what, I have a few group emails going on (organising school mums night out etc) and everytime I write

'Hello ladies' or something I have to double check myself to ensure I don't write 'hello wenches'.

I definitely think Treville deserves gallantry.

QueenAnneofAustriaSpain Sat 07-Jun-14 11:56:16

sparkle I am just completely friggin excited. I keep talking to DS1 about it. I am going to try really hard not to grin all the way through and really hoping DH doesn't realise it's Santi. But I got away with AK because he hasn't seen it but also because he looks different and he knows I like Russisn stuff but he is going to look like Aramis albeit with a bun.

look what I found. You're welcome. smile

actually that doesn't look like him now I've posted it. Supposed to be aramis as a pirate I think??!!

QueenAnneofAustriaSpain Sat 07-Jun-14 12:09:43

It does look like him Trev. I like it.

JessCate Sat 07-Jun-14 12:11:00


MrsBeeee Sat 07-Jun-14 12:14:44

Ha genius Hannah. Vair good. Can't think why Lurki cast you as she did in the video.

Treville has to win something. I'd still like him to pair up with Mother S and run the tavern between them and look after us all.

Oblomov Sat 07-Jun-14 12:15:01

I think Aramis unbuckling is episode 3. Athos house that Milady tries to burn down.
He unbuckled when Porthos shoulder is hurt. Aramis then have an argument with Athos, re why he won't save Porthos.

I hope Treville gets a love interest or at least up close and personal steamy moment next series. He is so wasted! Hugo Speer me is fucking hot. But that stupid flat fronted full length coat did nothing for him. Nor did the over greased back hair and massive moustache.

He just needs a bit of fiddling with. I've said this before. Many a time.

We want him sexed up please Jess Pope.

If Cardinal Richelieu can make a 17th century black puffa jacket and skull cap look sexy, then wtf isn't Treville, being used to his full potential?!

Oh and in other exciting news.......

As some of you may be aware. I've recently started watching The Good Wife on netflix. I'm on season 4 now. And guess who has just been in it? Only Marc feckin Warren - as Kalinda's husband.

Have to say. There is definitely something very dirty/naughty/bad/sexy about the man. He will make an excellent Count Rochefort. Cunt wait!

QueenAnneofAustriaSpain Sat 07-Jun-14 12:25:47

Oblomov - you are right. I was thinking I can only remember dressing as opposed to undressing in Athos' mansion but that makes sense now.

Btw your evening sounds brilliant.

MrsB our book club recently moved to a pub and I have had two horrendous hangovers.

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 12:26:13

That's right ob.

trev I hate her too so nothing to do with athos. Think its the sanctimonious-ness.

Yes!!!! Whoever. Best prop has to be aramis fighting with book.

I love milady actually. Wins best cleavage hands down. Can we have best bitch resting face category for her?

We have to make jp aware of this. Time to come our as anonymous collective on twatter? As mumsnet swagger inn wenches.

<deafening silence>

Its just, yknow, the world needs to know how ace we are.

I've got book club next week too - not at a pub, we take it in turns at peoples houses but there is lots of drinking involved as the evening progresses.
Definitely need to tell JP about the TWATS - Sparkle get on it! Think I've found some of you on twitter actually. Do you mind if I follow you or do we need to get to know each other a bit more yet? I won't be offended if you'd rather not honestly

QueenAnneofAustriaSpain Sat 07-Jun-14 12:40:14

Trev I don't mind. My Twitter is public and I have random followers.

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 12:45:12

Me neither if you can work me out trev. Im private and its my rl name. And I hardly ever tweet or anything.

On twatter we could be mumsnet musketwats or muskewenches? Ie not mention swagger inn so no one could easily find the inn...

QueenAnne, I've worked out who you are I hope - Russian literature, santi pics and guardian re-tweets that sounds like you. I've just followed you - thanks.

Madame do you have pictures of trees in bloom as your background? I hardly tweet anything either and don't follow anybody I know in RL on there as I do most of my RL communicating on facebook. I only use part of my real name in my twitter name. But I think I've found you if you are long brown hair, tree lady?

MrsBeeee Sat 07-Jun-14 12:56:50

I think I just followed you on twitter TW?

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 12:58:47

Yes that's me trev.

you did Mrs Beee and I followed you back! smile

I don't look like my picture but my dog looks like his!

LetUsPrey Sat 07-Jun-14 13:13:42

Loving the categories!

Am feeling quite tired today, not sure why, and achey. Woe. <slaps self for being pathetic>

LetUsPrey Sat 07-Jun-14 13:14:50
LetUsPrey Sat 07-Jun-14 13:15:41

Nope. It's the penalty shot from last night. Memory fail.

QueenAnneofAustriaSpain Sat 07-Jun-14 13:32:36

Trev I haven't received an email but will look out for it.

QueenAnneofAustriaSpain Sat 07-Jun-14 13:35:56

Oh I think I have you. Are there two of my favourite animals as your pic with the dog in the background?

LurkyLurkio Sat 07-Jun-14 13:46:33

Best cleavage - Connie has to be in the running surely for that episode where you could see the top of her nipples as she exerted herself ( remember a lot of talk about it at the time...)
<small voice> I don't like Milady, think it's the only bum note in the casting (other than Vinnie obv) and I do quite like Ninononon.

Trev you can follow me. I shouldn't be too hard to figure out.

As for avoiding trail back here. I hate to break it to any wench - but it would be a piece of piss for anyone. And you all know how techy I am.

It's obvious from the musketeers tweets. For eg check Sparkle followers, check any if those followers to see if they all have same friends lists and musketweet tweet historys. Then, as Helen pointed out other day, you only have to google say, a particular thing from what could be more than one of our wench tweet history's and it could lead you straight back here.

Cats out the bag lubbers, for anyone interested/desperate/clever enough to want to follow our every move, it wouldn't be mission impossible. JP would easily find us. Or could, if she blatantly hadn't already grin grin

But you keep going with that faux air of mystery Sparkle. I'm sure she has no idea of the depths of your depravity and month long case of the sharts [big eye roll]

grin grin wink

Cooeeeeeeeeee! Over here Tom <flashes tits>

LurkyLurkio Sat 07-Jun-14 13:48:28

Ooo, they're on the coach up to Manchester playing poker, poss
Santi flew to London to travel up with them....

yes you've got me Anne smile
nipples Lurky? Was that the baby episode when she's fighting and Aramis has the baby? I like Milady - think she'd be a great Wench (homicidal tendencies aside!)

obvs Aramis doesn't have the baby! Hannah do you have anything of the feisty about you on twitter??? if so "I've got you" channels Aramis and the Queen with Hannah. and I will follow you shortly.

Was that <Aramis> 'I've got you'?

<yanks Letus up by the nipples> come on you. Shake your self out of it. What you've got my love, is a serious case of the TOO MUCH VODKA IN YOUR DRINK LAST NIGHT.

Eat something nutritious/comforting. Have a little nap. Go out for lovely long walk. <ta daaaaaaaa> <cured>

ELK!! Come say hello. Naaaaaaaaah. Touch my tits base , at least. Please. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx /\ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

X post.

Yes, Trev. Very good reconnaissance.

Haha! Do I want to shove you in my mouth?

good x post Hannah great minds or maybe obsessed minds!
Elk needs to come back - I've got something I'd like her to cast her eye over and assess for me. wink

Now, why the fuck can't Captain Treville wear that ^ huh?

Proves my point exactly.

LurkyLurkio Sat 07-Jun-14 14:03:14

For those who watched. 30 rock, Tracy M seriously injured in crash.
Tina Fey definite wench. Cheese subscription, mmmm.
Anyone watch Parks & Rec? Have only watched last series, really liked Amy P.

More random news as i get it/think of it.....

There's enough space for a pauldron there.

What is this parks and recs I keep hearing about on here? I'm so far behind on my catch up/netflix I rarely notice when new things come out.

Orange is New Black season 2 on netflix now. That, was a fecking awesome series. I watched whole lot over night, last year when exdp/dd were away. Hilarious.

LetUsPrey Sat 07-Jun-14 14:07:32

Thanks Hannah.

I'm obvs tired because Aramis kept me up all night - and vice versa grin

Am going to attempt a tidy up.

I think I saw one or two eps of Parks and Recreation but I kept forgetting to watch.

My computer just overheated after I posted that pic (so I had to turn it off and on again - techy wench) co-incidence? I think not! The Captain has absolutely got to get some love action next time or at least a shirt off shot or two - all the loveliness that is Hugo Speer is being wasted.

LurkyLurkio Sat 07-Jun-14 14:11:37

Parks and Recreations - scenario doesn't sound much, Amy P (the blonde one) is this enthusiastic manager of a team of misfits which look after Parks in the town of Pawnee (" third most obese town in USA"). Doesn't sound much but she is immensely likeable and ends up in all Kinds of embarrassing and humiliating scenarios .

If you have netflix-y thing, have you tried Scandal, it's fab.

LurkyLurkio Sat 07-Jun-14 14:12:30

Trev - sure it wasn't your hot breath as you licked the screen that broke it, hmmm?

Cinnamoncookie Sat 07-Jun-14 14:14:53

For Trev. Because, you erm, need to analyse the posture from all angles ?

LurkyLurkio Sat 07-Jun-14 14:15:28

I am kiss of death to new shows, once I start watching they get canned blush so am a bit paranoid.
My recent guilty pleasure is Intelligence with Josh H (Sawyer from Lost) as this delta forces agent with a microchip in his brain. Yes, it's as daft as it sounds. Just got into it and it's axed sad

May even be forced to try GOT...

LurkyLurkio Sat 07-Jun-14 14:17:37

Just tried a bit of enhancement of that last photo with me new toy (free download of Photoshop express)

LetUsPrey Sat 07-Jun-14 14:17:44

I've just found that both series of Scandal are on Sky On Demand so I'm downloading the first ep. May watch tonight. Thanks Lurkio.

Right, I'm definitely getting off my arse, putting some music on (and no, no prizes for guessing what I'll be listening to), and getting some tidying up done.

LurkyLurkio Sat 07-Jun-14 14:18:11

Hmmm, can def see the rectus sheath more clearly there....

LetUsPrey Sat 07-Jun-14 14:24:56

In two minds whether I want you to watch Sleepy Hollow in that case Lurkio grin

Did anywench watch Rubicon a couple of years ago? It was on BBC4. I really got into it and then pfffttt - no more.

Oblomov Sat 07-Jun-14 14:27:31

watched episode 1 and 2 with ds1, who I don't think had seen them before.
afterwards:" I don't like Milady. she has horrible teeth".

and I know it sounds really horrible, but she does in fact have terrible teeth.
as do I actually. but she is an actress.

woooooo! Thanks Cinnamon and Lurky - that made me choke on my pancake (I'm brunching!) I shall just retreat to my boudoir to check that out very, very carefully indeed wink I may be some time .....

I hate it when something you are really into gets cancelled sad

QueenAnneofAustriaSpain Sat 07-Jun-14 15:28:24

haha at Milady's teeth.

I like Milady and I think she is well cast. I think her bosoms win for me because Connie's are just too in your face.

Best costume: Marie de Medici
Best Hairstyle: Marie de Medici

Oh yes, forgot about Marie de Medicicici. She gets added to my earlier female category.

I liked Alphas and they cancelled that sad I loved Gary <does Gary finger flicking thing>

I know what you mean Lurky. I get v wary about getting too attached. That's why it's great on things like netflix when you can find a whole 5+ seasons of something.
Have you tried Dexter?

I want to try The Mentalist and the Walking Dead. Also need to do Borgias and Tudors, for pervy reasons. GoT <whispers> is poss on list too. If I can find it. Also Ripper Street need to watch.

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 15:55:46

Yay lurkio! <tit bump> fellow parks and rec fan. It's piss funny. Wenches you should defo watch it. Chris pratt is adorable.

I posted about it when last series was on but no one gave a fuck .

Posted tom haverford glamping clip from youtube cos it sounded just like sparkles glamping setup.

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 15:57:49

Parks and rec not cancelled lurky. Its on like aeries 8 in US. We're way behind here.

Precis, like the office but much funnier and with heart.

QueenAnneofAustriaSpain Sat 07-Jun-14 16:18:01

Oh Hannah - The Mentalist is fucking brilliant. I fancy both Simon Baker because his character just has a brilliant mind and Agent Cho makes me wet when he goes all sarky. I have missed loads and I did google who Red John is... but I am defo going to go back to it.

I am going to say that The Borgias, really not all that worth it. It got axed half way through season 3 i think.

AnneElkMiss Sat 07-Jun-14 17:06:56

<Dons pince-nez glasses>

<peers over the top of pince-nez glasses at TWs pic>

Hmm....yes....I see

<prods pic with chewed pen top>

He's rather a fine anatomical specimen isn't he...very solid in his core

<prods again>

<continues peering until disturbed by MrE coming into room> <hastily switches tabs to something innocuous, like Amazon>

MrsBeeee Sat 07-Jun-14 17:38:04

He does have a great arse. I agree, more sexed up Treville in the next series please JessPope. He could always have Verruca as his love interest? <hopeful, sorry TW>

I like Connie, and Queenie and even Milady. They are girls with attitude. King's Mum was also fab but as a baddie not as likeable character. She was very well played and I liked the whole Cardinal interaction thing.

Ninon? Hmm. I wanted to like her and I didn't. It might have been the Athos thing but she was also a bit...judgy? If she was around today and on mumsnet you just know she would be one if the preachy annoying superior types. So no didn't like.

I think that is what has happened with Verruca. What started as a bit if a name play joke and a get off our man type thing has been intensified due to the tweets of health food and hairstyles. She is probably lovely, seems very nice etc etc. But she gets right on my tits.

Not saying I have an issue with people who eat healthier, drink less and exercise more than me. Or parent different etcetera etc as that is pretty much the entire planet. Just the ones who act snooty about it.

And that wenches was today's cod psychology reflection. Now need to go feed the troops.

LetUsPrey Sat 07-Jun-14 17:41:57

Elk I think you need to explain to your DH how it's actually terribly rude of him to interrupt when you're in the middle of a professional consultation. Breach of confidentiality and all that.

I liked Flea as well. It was good to see some strong female characters.

I'm glad you are all appreciating Treville's fine qualities. Verrucca can totally do one if she goes near my man grrrr! I agree about the preachy thing - Ninion is probably a 17th C Gwyneth Paltrow now I come to think about it.

Elk - thanks for your (too) brief summary (bad Mr Elk!) but tell me about his rectus sheath grin and more about his solid core.... please grin

ooh - is this new? BBC America promo I think.


MrsBeeee Sat 07-Jun-14 18:12:29

Ninion = 17th C Gwyneth Paltrow. Exactly grin

MrsBeeee Sat 07-Jun-14 18:16:54

Oh another good female character. Bonnasaires (sp?) wife in Commodities. She was ace.

Oblomov Sat 07-Jun-14 18:20:04

Love ripper st, mentalist and comparison of Ninon to gwyneth. Ha ha.

LurkyLurkio Sat 07-Jun-14 18:23:15

Trev thank you, I haven't seen that. Yay! They are drip feeding new stuff before the USA launch. I Feckin love the bit when Aramis kicks the other guys sword up and catches it, I think they have made his fighting style aces.

Mentalist, meh, I thought the early series were brill but I'm up to date and think it goes downhill (only my opinion tho, it's been renewed and has good ratings in US)

Parks and Rec it's last series tho I think Madame sad at least it's by choice so they may resolve things neatly.

Unlike Flashforward, or I could name others ending on a bloody cliffhanger. Grr.

17C Gwyneth Paltrow grin it a shame because I thought the actress was amazing in peaky blinders but plays Ninononon as too haughty?

Alphas, great stuff but Agent of Shield filled that gap for nice hokum for me....

blimey I have literally done nothing today but been on here and twitter and youtube (can you tell I'm a mum of independant teenagers rather than little ones?)

Never seen the mentalist or parks and recs Lurky but I love Agents of Shield and have a total crush on Agent Phil Coulson.

Bonnasaire's wife was a feisty wench Mrs Beee - hope we get a few guest stars like that next series and Verucca turns out to be a character we can root for at least (I've looked at her twitter and she is a bit annoying in RL- I can't be doing with people tweeting pictures of their kale juice smoothy)
Oblomov - not seen the others but loved Ripper St and can't believe they have cancelled it.
Getting off for a bit to check my family are still alive and feed the dog.

see you later

oh also been wasting my time playing on this. Has anyone seen it? It is ridiculously addictive and you do get to push pictures of Tom Burke around which is always nice.


Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 18:55:04

Awwwwwwwwriiiigghhhhht wenches I am BACK.

I see I haven't missed anything grin

Guffaw at Gwyneth grin

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 19:07:47

My twitter is all SA. Not a sniff of anything Santi sad He is so out of the wide-boy clique. I do hope that doesn't mean he's like a lost soul wandering round alone on the pitch tomorrow when they're doing the crowd meet. I will cry. I will also cry if he doesn't get a loud cheer like Olly/Robbie/JLS/etc.

Stick with Del Piero Santi. This is my best wench advice. And while you're with him get near a camera & talk Spantalian.

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 19:44:23

mrsb brilliant analysis of ninon, verruca and snotty women. trev totally inspired gwynnie comparison - that is EXACTLY why I hate her. Thank you. Nailed it.

I think all the female chars and extras were great - apart from her. (And she won the bloody MF awards. Fuck sake.) Ours will be so much better.

I really hope Charlotte salt's char isnt another gwynnie, even tho in rl she is.

FolknNorah Sat 07-Jun-14 19:46:09

Helloooo am feeding The Toddler then am Orf to watch a movie with kids.
I liked Ninon.

FolknNorah Sat 07-Jun-14 19:57:35

Anyone here following me on twatter? I think from RTFT it might be trev

I agree about Treville needing more sexiness I like him.

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 20:00:21

Ooh lurkio what series of p&r are you on on netflix then? I was only watching on bbc4 and that was series 3 I think.

FolknNorah Sat 07-Jun-14 20:01:29

Ok I see I'm on my own so I'll just do the rounds with all of them and then fuck off with Porthos. Hayloft tonight methinks.


Oh, and best punch has to be Milady punching Connie. But Mother S is the fucking bee's knees as far as I'm concerned.

Nora - not me following on Twitter - I'm only following any of you who have ok'd it. I'd like to though grin

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 20:03:05

Hello twit how are you?

Havent seen badders for a while, or stinkle.

elk hope babyelks not knackering you out too much.

jess! You were going to fill us in on your tinder action.... <drums fingers>

oh hang on unless you followed me earlier today and I politely followed you back and you are duh duh duh ...... not in fact called Norah at all (obvs)!!

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 20:03:41

I follow you twit.

Flopsy28 Sat 07-Jun-14 20:05:41

Evening wenches, had wifi issues today <boring> but all sorted now. I like Connie and Queenie but not milady. I thought King's mum was cool too. Very dry.

Been sorting shit out for car boot tomorrow sad wanted to kill DH at least 4 times today. Not even for any thing funny to say.

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 20:06:57

I follow you Twit but am not new.

TW you can follow me!

Flopsy28 Sat 07-Jun-14 20:07:12

Got not for

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 20:08:33

Si Cowell to swing group on BGT:"You've got swagger"

DH to DS1: "Mummy likes swagger"


LetUsPrey Sat 07-Jun-14 20:09:41

<runs round tavern groping wenches>

I am watching Midsomer Murders because that's how I roll. Oh yeah.

Sparkle - do you have a big pic of Santi and a link about planking? If so I've just followed thanks

LetUsPrey Sat 07-Jun-14 20:12:59

Is planking rhyming slang then Sparkle? grin

FolknNorah Sat 07-Jun-14 20:15:56

Ok, weird. It's the name of a regular too. confused who I thought I already followed. Although unless they have the same name or a clue about who they are here I have no idea who any of y are. shock
I'm happy to be followed, although am very dull. grin

FolknNorah Sat 07-Jun-14 20:17:26

Oh and this person with the same name as someone on here is following us (most of us) but is only followed by 2 people ATM.

JessCate Sat 07-Jun-14 20:20:15

Evening wenches (did I say this already?!) I am at the pub not an alcoholic and I'm wisely spending wasting my last pennies on alcohol grin

I had a panic as I thought I might miss SA tomorrow as again I am at the pub but apparently I will be back in time phew!

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 20:21:38

You got me TW

Ok - I have Madame, Hannah, Sparkle, Mrs Beee and Queen Anne and I someone else has just followed me and I followed them back but I'm not sure which one of you it is. you tweeted Santi's goal last night - who was that? TBH I've spent the day fairly distracted since the sight of Treville's bare bum.

LetUsPrey Sat 07-Jun-14 20:30:27

That's me TW. Couple of consonants at the beginning of my Twitter name

Norah I have a picture of a dog (not just a dog but my dog) on my twitter and I don't have any link with my name on here - my twitter name doesn't mention Treville and my twitter name is only partly my real name too if that makes sense.

great Letus smile well Norah's new follower is a mystery. Could she be a thread lurker? If so, come out, come out wherever you are.....but not if you think you have any chance with Treville!

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 20:36:40

I think I know who you're stalking about TW. It is someone on here who is switching twitter accounts.

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 20:38:02

haha! Stalking about

LaComtessdelafere Sat 07-Jun-14 20:39:52

Evening all

<buffs Award to Revision Services which I should be fucking receiving soon)

Thank fuck the exams are nearly over. Last week. winewinewine

Best punch has ABSOLUTELY got to be Athos punching Porthos to knock him out in Commodities.

Ref Ninon. I liked her even tho she got an Athos snog. I think my line on women in TM IS that I don't mind if they were in from the start, incomers to OUR BOYS are going to be very lucky to get any approval <side eyes Verruca>.

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 20:50:22

Lovely picture Sparkle although I do feel all their hair is getting a bit too long. is whoever runs Gorgeous Aramis a wench cause she should be?

LaComtessdelafere Sat 07-Jun-14 21:01:59

Mmmmm he does look pretty fine there. I quite like the long hair. Seems a big waste him and McA up there with no company on Saturday night eh.

AnotherHelenB Sat 07-Jun-14 21:02:51

Twit can stalk about me any time she likes grin

Twit - it's me, I followed you (again) I have got my act together and de followed you all from my 'work' twitter (not that I used it, but...) and set up a new wench account. I won't use that either, but it makes me feel like I'm less traceable in RL. If poss, can you de-follow my old account and follow the new one that matches my MN Name?

Do you think they need some company then Comtess? I'm an hour and a half from Manchester - happy to take one for the team and report back grin waits to be chased out by team Aramis and the James M lovers.

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 21:09:39

Well.. I've just sat through 5 full minutes of all the SA stars being fitted for their suits hoping for inside leg measurements and I've seen the lot. Oh, except Santi in his pants. Or Santi at all <shakes fist>

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 21:10:22

Er TW except it's not your fucking rota night is it <head tilt>

all I got from that is I'm on the rota!! I choose to ignore your threatening tone Sparkle grin

AnotherHelenB Sat 07-Jun-14 21:17:33

Oh - and now a colleague is following my new wench twitter account - gah! <Bangs head off wall, whimpers>

Am going to turn off computer and have screen free night... Twit, I'll see you in the hayloft later I guess... Can I borrow Dog for some snuggling and stroking to ease the twitter-trauma. Athos/Porthos can take over once I've been soothed grin
<runs for hayloft>

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 21:18:07

You are on the rota TW. Just not the Aramis one. You missed that boat oooooh about 320000 posts ago.

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 21:18:45


It's like the night we are signed up to twitter. Hilaire.

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 21:18:54

we ALL

JessCate Sat 07-Jun-14 21:22:35

trev take santi all you want but you will NOT take McAvoy do you hear me?!?! He comes as a buy 1 get 1 free with Fassy and seeing as he is already mine, I have decided no rota time with either <dictator anne wench> grin

ooh Helen I feel your pain - I am completely disconnected from RL on twitter and I think pretty untraceable so I can keep my perving celeb following private. Dog will be attentive and grateful for the attention (as Jess is out in the pub). Have a peaceful night smile

AnotherHelenB Sat 07-Jun-14 21:23:39

I shall be briefly blush and then suspect that I shall shrug, channel Athos, and not a fuck shall be given grin

JessCate Sat 07-Jun-14 21:25:00

helen because I am kind and helping McAvoy get prepared for SA tomorrow, you can have Dog tonight... Not that I have any claim to him anymore as Sparkqualino has gained his love and affection... Meaning she will have no time for Santi any more wink <stirring the pot with big wooden spoon>

JessCate Sat 07-Jun-14 21:25:52

I am back from pub tw - too many leery old men for us to deal with! Having my dinner of toast now grin

AnotherHelenB Sat 07-Jun-14 21:28:07

<loves Jess>
you can have him back once he's finished snuggling

you know that thing about turning off my computer....
<Channels Athos again... Dooooooo iiiiiiiiiit>

ooh Jess you are a drunk feisty wench tonight!! You mean to tell me you want Fassy and McAvoy, both, together?? greedy greedy girl! Have you not seen Shame? Fassy is more than enough to keep you satisfied young lady! feels a Shame rewatch coming on..... blush

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 21:30:45

Oh Luca's very understanding when it's Aramis Night. Which it is tonight.

<Loves it that his reply starts with @wedsandsatnight LOLOLOL Oh if he only knew>

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 21:32:58

Tres hilaire helen. Shall I bother unfollowing your rl twitter or not then?

I need to get me a fakey twitter too. Can anyone tell me, can I put my work email onto my rl one and my home email on my new fakey one, or will twatter not allow me to do this?

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 21:34:01


MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 21:34:45

<head explodes with complexity of twatter>

<jess points and laughs at the old biddies>

jess, rtft, I asked you for a tinder / pb update!

oh hello new twitter friend Comtesse! Sparkle make sure you use your new celeb connections for good not evil eh?? wink

JessCate Sat 07-Jun-14 21:36:22

tw of COURSE I've seen shame!!!!!! Fassy has always been mine he just hasn't met me yet and McAvoy is a recent addition but no one else wanted him at the time, so finders keepers grin

sparkle you know ILY but the ego is getting a bit much can't believe I missed all the bloody excitement. You can have Dog either a Mon, Tues or Wed but all other days are out of bounds wink

LetUsPrey Sat 07-Jun-14 21:37:05

The only thing I know about Twitter is that I shouldn't be tweeting under the influence of alcohol. I just tweeted Mark Gatiss because he's in the episode of Midsomer Murders I'm watching.

AnotherHelenB Sat 07-Jun-14 21:37:28

Bloody still here, have no self discipline.

Madame, I have work email on RL one and home email on Wench one. My colleague has my home email, so I suspect that Twitter has done something like alert him that someone on his email contacts list has a new twitter account, so he just clicked on 'follow'. Since I never actually do anything on twitter, other than look, it doesn't really matter.

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 21:37:56

sparkle darling, remember it's only @saturdaynight for you this week, kay?

Oblomov Sat 07-Jun-14 21:39:21

just benchmarking. after bgt final.

FolknNorah Sat 07-Jun-14 21:40:22

Right have followed you back, couldn't see anyone who looked familiar that might be you to unfollow, nor was there anyone who had unfollowed me showing up. IySWIM? No? Me neither.
Anyhoo, still haven't had any new followers either. <eyebrows>

jess are you still orange blonde?
My oldest two are doing exams at the moment. It's all very tense here. The Toddler is still causing havoc downstairs, I am upstairs with all if you and not a fuck is being given. By me at least. grin

So helen and me in the loft with Dog and Porthos eh? Eeeeeexcellent <mr burns>

LaComtessdelafere Sat 07-Jun-14 21:40:36

winkTW I thought you needed me on your Twatter. I just retweet sexy Athos photos really but there we are.

Helen I've defriended official Helen and friended Wenchy Helengrin

Jess - put down the toast and tell us about Tinder and PB - we have to live vicariously through you. grin ps - you've got me on the finders keepers thing, fair enough. Are Fassy and McAvoy filling in on your dog less nights then?

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 21:41:21

Thanks Anne. Just wanted to know if I could swap the contact details around really. <remembers sparkles angst at trying to change basic details following son-gate>

LetUsPrey Sat 07-Jun-14 21:42:47

I'm over in the corner of Helen's Hayloft with Paella grin

JessCate Sat 07-Jun-14 21:42:56

Oh balls madame my love, so I've been speaking to 2 guys off tinder... One is an Essex boy, think Gavin but a blonde version - nice and harmless but he might be a bit old?!

The other one... Well not my type at all but he seemed nice... Until I realised he fucking wants to talk ALL THE TIME. I genuinely had 10 messages from him in the space of a couple of hours, whilst I was at work, all because I didn't reply right away. Majorly full on/needy and a tad creepy too constantly asking for photos <rolls eyes> and bit worried because we work very near each other and also live not too far too... So trying to break contact without seeming rude is proving hard!

All in all tinder has taught me one thing - I am likely to be alone forever because I still have huge commitment issues! Basically at the first sign of a slight annoyance I am looking for a way out! How do I stop this?! I should at least go for a drink with Gavlar to give it a go right?!

FolknNorah Sat 07-Jun-14 21:43:02

<puts McAvoy in pocket for later>

Comtesse - I retweet sexy athos pics too and a bit of film stuff but I'm pretty new and a bit clueless so I mainly follow. Norah I can't work out who you are on twatter - give me a clue - what is your picture?

JessCate Sat 07-Jun-14 21:48:24

Oh and tw update on PB - no idea I barely saw him this week sad really want to know who his girlfriend is so I can be a judgy wench! <not always a bitch> <big fat liar>

norah oit I am happily orange/blonde... Once I am in the sunshine in 8 days I will be a bit more blonde and when Back from holiday I actually will have proper blonde in my hair too! Glad you are keeping up to date with my hair diaries...

helen I will log into twitter just for you! I will need to find your old acc and new acc... Will I be able to work you out?! Bit like crystal maze this, will I get the crystal in time?! probably not

Oblomov Sat 07-Jun-14 21:49:35

BGT anyone? Hannah watching! was surprised at winner.

Flopsy28 Sat 07-Jun-14 21:53:10

Loving 'no-discipline-helen' to night! Erm, cheeky question, but can I join you, twit and Porthos tonight. I've had three wines and am OTH.

no oblomov I'm watching a I love the 1980's programme. I tell you Milady would be right at home in the 1980's with her teeth getting drunk and bitchy

Flopsy28 Sat 07-Jun-14 21:53:51

Me too ob, I wanted Darcy <full stop>

JessCate Sat 07-Jun-14 21:57:22

Who won BGT?! I know-ish one of the finalists!

Ps. All wenches useless at helping me with serious love life issues imagine if I had actual RL problems

FolknNorah Sat 07-Jun-14 21:57:42

Yes of course, although we also have letus and Paella with us too. Gosh, this is going to be fun.

Oblomov Sat 07-Jun-14 21:59:20

flopsy, did Darcy come 5th? he should have been higher.
was very surprised at winners. they were good, but never thought they would WIN.

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 22:00:07

Ooh jess, exciting! You have an OD prospect like drink! Yes I agree, gavin sounds worth a go, mr needy needs kicking to the kerb. Dont worry about embarrassment, thats why its OD! Easy come easy go. Just say youve started dating someome so have to leave it blah blah. Dont worry about him stalking you in rl, thats highly unlolely really. He'll probably just move on to his other potentials.

Now. Time to get a date with gav. What have you got to lose? You are doing this in order to actualy meet people, right? Nothing ventured etc...

(How old exactly is he btw?)

Go out with the essex boy Jess. It worked for Stacey and ultimately for Ness too although I wouldn't wish James Corden on has he's a prat. Nothing ventured eh? He may turn out to be a good 'un.

LetUsPrey Sat 07-Jun-14 22:01:25

Helen made us use some kind of soundproof room. Paella gets a bit noisy sometimes wink

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 22:02:37

Hahaha letus re mark gatiss btw.

FolknNorah Sat 07-Jun-14 22:03:27

Oh jess go for it if you have no alarm bells ringing. But please be careful. In fact all of my OD lovelies please be careful. Please. ILY see?

Do you think Paella will be put off his stride listening to himself on the radio in the hayloft or not?

FolknNorah Sat 07-Jun-14 22:08:06

Oh, and have unfollowed you now helen.
So who is in the loft now?
Me, helen, floppers, letus
Dog, Porthos, jimmy Mc, Paella.

JessCate Sat 07-Jun-14 22:08:48

Gav is early 30s although he seems to think/speak as though he is my age... seems nice enough though and again he works quite near me. He's already suggested going for a drink when I'm back from holiday, so I guess I should give it a go?! I will be careful though I promise!!

LetUsPrey Sat 07-Jun-14 22:09:08

Agree Jess, go for it.

Fuckinell Twitrah, that question and the thought of him being on his stride has made parts of me go all tingly blush. I'd love to have the opportunity to find out though

JessCate Sat 07-Jun-14 22:10:08

norah McAvoy is not in your loft, he is locked up in my underground sex dungeon with Fassy, ready for an evening of Parisian fun at the Eiffel Tower.

that's a lot of people in the loft - hope the ceiling doesn't cave in!

LetUsPrey Sat 07-Jun-14 22:11:46

Jeepers. Paella's and McAvoy's voices at the same time ... BOOOOOMMM!!!

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 22:13:25

Go go go jess. Early 30s sounds fine to me. So thats max 10 year gap then?? Obvs be careful but it sounds good.

FolknNorah Sat 07-Jun-14 22:16:19

Ummm, no jess he isn't. I left a blow up sex doll for you in his place. In the dark you probably haven't been able to tell. Sorreeee. <head tilt>

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 22:18:20

I think I have done what was requested Helene

Though obvs still a bit clueless as I have just put my twitter address thingy on here ^


Flopsy28 Sat 07-Jun-14 22:18:47

<pulls on sexy (but supportive) undergarments>
<ps, why don't they make these in RL? I look smokin'>
<Climbs into Helen's Hayloft TM>
3, 2, 1... <gladiator man>

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 22:20:56

Jess M/T/W works just fine for me. In fact Weds this week could work very fine as Madame has kindly reminded me.

Madame I'm beginning to wonder if LetUs is that bothered any more with the amount of time spent with Nutella....??

Is SC still no1 LetUs or has he been knocked off top spot? you crazy hint

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 22:21:38

does that say crazy hint?


JessCate Sat 07-Jun-14 22:22:49

Madame I think the exact age gap is about 7/8 years? I don't think I fancy him though... see I am talking myself out of it again, although I should give it a go, even just to confirm I'm not a total lost cause!

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 22:27:17

I suspect youre right sparky <looks askance in direction of loud creaking sounds and nutella music emanating from hayloft> but she still wont give up her rights.

She seems to luff vronsky more than aramis too

<cries softly into aramis replica hair wig>

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 22:29:27

Aramis replica hair wig!!!!!!! grin

Oh God please please don't do the bun tmrw night

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 22:29:39

Oops sparkle re twitter! Erm, never mind. It will be fine.

<slaps jess>

Stop making excuses and go for it!!! How do you know if you fancy him or not? You havent actually met him yet!

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 22:30:02

I don't want the bun. I want the curls! <wails>

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 22:30:13

Id be fine to do the bun.

time for another picture before (I take the Captain to) bed I think. I know we've had it before but Hugo looks so happy to be out with the lads.

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 22:31:27

<passes replica hair wig>

Here sparkle.

LetUsPrey Sat 07-Jun-14 22:31:31

SC is still there Sparkle, don't you be getting any funny ideas!

I get Vronsky on a Tuesday and Aramis/SC on a Friday and I have been sticking to that. I do need to keep busy on the other evenings though and I ain't risking going anywhere near Athos. I occasionally have a bit of a dalliance with Dog or Treville but Paella is proving more than worth it grin

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 22:31:44

I reckon it's Luca taking the pic on that one. TB at Chelsea/Bayern? Hmmmmmm

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 22:32:41

<Sniffs wig>

<Wants to sniff footie shirt at 10 pm tmrw>

<Faints as just thought of shirt swap possibility>

LetUsPrey Sat 07-Jun-14 22:32:47

And I definitely prefer Aramis to Vronsky! The very thought.

bit of a dalliance Letus ? I think not angry

LetUsPrey Sat 07-Jun-14 22:38:08

Oh yes, TW. Ever so masterful Treville <takes spoon off Jess and stirs some more>

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 22:39:00

Hahaha letus! <puts away stirring spoon, its done its job>

LetUsPrey Sat 07-Jun-14 22:41:17

Good. I can do my nails before a) I'm too drunk, b) it's too late, and c) Paella recovers grin

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 22:42:52


gawahngawahngawahngawahngawahngawahn gawahn! <mrs doyle>

LaComtessdelafere Sat 07-Jun-14 22:43:22

In ingrin

QueenAnneofAustriaSpain Sat 07-Jun-14 22:45:02

I am doing the bun tomorrow. I like how we can now have him as Aramis, as Vronsky and now as footballer Santi.

I will confess to liking Vronsky A LOT!!

Not more than Aramis but it is pretty close. It's the guckihg uniform.

LetUsPrey Sat 07-Jun-14 22:45:44

Me too.

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 22:45:44

Me me me!

Is it countries out of the hat or do we choose?

QueenAnneofAustriaSpain Sat 07-Jun-14 22:46:20

I'm in. Can I gave Chile? They are my second team. then Italy Buffon is fit and then Spain the entire fucking team is hot

The captain is already waiting for me with just his boots on by his big sturdy desk so you're too late Letus and I shall rise above your stirring! Night all. Oh and keep it down in the hayloft eh? Don't want your racket disturbing us all the way over at the Garrison. smile

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 22:46:47

Aramis is still way ahead for me though Vronsky still ahead of anyone else on Musketeers.

LaComtessdelafere Sat 07-Jun-14 22:47:28

Have just watched Graham Norton from last night

1 Michael sheen is just fabulous, love him.
2 didn't know much about Ruffalo but he also seems v nice
3 meh ref sheersn
4 Holden is just such an annoying plastic barbie pia. Jealous of her core muscles for headstand but fucking hell she's one of those women who just radiate irritation for all other women.

QueenAnneofAustriaSpain Sat 07-Jun-14 22:47:37

I have gone right off Dog.

QueenAnneofAustriaSpain Sat 07-Jun-14 22:48:24

Comtesse her flirting with Mark was giving me the rage last night. I love him though.

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 22:49:09

No!!!! Its names out of a hat, you dont get to choose!

Hands up everyone whos in and ill find some impaetial Internet tool. hope this fares better than the bingo attempt

LetUsPrey Sat 07-Jun-14 22:50:48

I'm sure I remember Mark Ruffalo being on Jonathan Ross's show when it was BBC1 a few years ago. He was jolly nice.

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 22:50:53

Hand up.

Ooooh who is second now then Anne? I mean, second after SC in all his permutations

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 22:53:55

I've got comtesse and all of team vronsky aramis <cat bum face> so far.

No contest between v and a for me. Im not that keen on short hair and no beard tbh. Oddly it always seems to make him look 50% bigger. I prefer him lithe and hairy, like a pocket cave man.

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 22:55:01

WTH you on abaaaaat Madame?

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 22:55:51

And I just said Aramis was still way ahead! RTFT.

Ohhhhh hurry UP tomorrow!

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 22:57:00

Like a hairy cave man you can just carry round in your pocket.

That sounds totally normal, right?


Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 22:58:08
MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 22:59:11

oh ok, fair enough sparkle. Ive caught dss cold, heading to bed now. Keep putting hands up for WORLD CUP SWEEPSTAKE ill make a list tomoz.

Luffs ya all xxx

MadamedeChevreuse Sat 07-Jun-14 23:00:42

<pops back in>

<snatches replica hair wig off sparkle>

<goes to bed with it>

LurkyLurkio Sat 07-Jun-14 23:00:46

Madame, I'm in for World Cup sweepy thing....

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 23:01:02

Night night. Hope cold does one overnight x

Sparklegeek Sat 07-Jun-14 23:01:59

'S ok. I don't need no wig. I have his head complete with RL hair to get my fingers in.

Now I've GTRH

LetUsPrey Sat 07-Jun-14 23:03:42

Evening Lurkio

Sparkle - third one down on the left ... hellooooooooo

AnneElkMiss Sat 07-Jun-14 23:04:28

Put me down for the sweepstake

Who's watching the 80s night on 2....beat me on the bottom with a womans weekly grin.....takes me right back <old>

oooo....duran duran on totp (John Taylor - I so would have done in 1985 )

LetUsPrey Sat 07-Jun-14 23:06:49

Roger Taylor for me Elk. I have seen recent pictures. I had a lucky escape. No offence Rog.

QueenAnneofAustriaSpain Sat 07-Jun-14 23:08:27

Clean knickers needed again... the way he is looking at her me and the one with the swagger and weapons. <collapses in heap>

Out of Musketeers Sparkle I think it has to be Porthos, but whilst before I would have been happy with Dog/Porthos on a non-Aramis night - I would now far rather have any incarnation of SC. TBF I think I am off Luca as opposed to Dog, but Dog seems a bit of distant memory.

LetUsPrey Sat 07-Jun-14 23:09:00

The 80s fashions in the crowd are making me cry a little bit because I wore that stuff too

AnneElkMiss Sat 07-Jun-14 23:14:54

Dodgy miming

Flopsy28 Sat 07-Jun-14 23:18:10

<raises hand> I'm in madame. Night all. Got fecking car boot tomorrow so will be here later with a few more wrinkles and grey pubes hairs.

AnneElkMiss Sat 07-Jun-14 23:18:16

I was more in the Spandau camp


LetUsPrey Sat 07-Jun-14 23:23:49

I remember reading an article in the papers about them when I was probably 4th year at school (now Y10) about the drugs and stuff. I was gutted. And also very naive.


Drunk wench approaching. Listen up yo, I am 3 a million pages behind.

I agree with everything. To a degree. Am soooo excited forb soccer aid tmw. Beauty of it is, I haventbeven neede to request anything, it's on 'record' :D

Come on all you ROWers. Get ya balls out, get ya balls out, get ya balls out for the Tavern
Get your balls out, for the Taverm

QueenAnneofAustriaSpain Sat 07-Jun-14 23:25:30

I am an 80s child so although I vaguely know these music didn't really kick in for me until NKOTB.

Unless you count Bob Dylan, Neil Sedaka , Paul Anka, Queen, Led Zeppelin and Tom Jones (DS2 loves Tom). I blame my dad for his 'interesting' taste.

Ok, if we're doing music...this is where I often go once the beautiful booze haze hits. I love many genres, but my body was designed to move to this stuff......

LetUsPrey Sat 07-Jun-14 23:44:40

Very nice Hannah. Be careful if you're dancing on the tables though. Not that I've ever done that. Nope. Not me and certainly not to Black Velvet by Alannah Myles

I am off Hayloft-wards. Paella's keen to impress, as they all are so they can keep their places on my rota.

Night wenches <mwah>

JessCate Sat 07-Jun-14 23:51:04

Off to bed now as I feel a bit hazy from earlier alcohol - I'll join in with sweepstake although know nothing about football whatsoever or who is even playing in World Cup! Night wenches and pisshead Hannah Peggy x

Kicks back the Tavern doors, drags Athos in Kalinda/Hannah stylie..

....ties Athos/Tom to bar stool. Shares a tequila or give two. Sticks lime wedge in gob as muffler.......

Swaggers over to jukebox, cranks it up, turns in time to music, gives best seductive eyebally routine to Tom Athos gives TOM OR ATHOS (shhh NOT FUSSY) sexiest routine. Ever Can't help it. I'm natch innit. <tosses hair> <Alan Carr slut drop> <just saying it makes me lolzzzzzz>

MrsBeeee Sun 08-Jun-14 08:11:38

Oh god. From my texts I got home just before 2am. I appear to have thrown up spectacularly in the loo before falling asleep in there, before crawling to bed at 4am. DH most dissa proving as I snored. Woken by DC at 7 and still had contact lens in one eye. Just had pint water / paracetamol / milk thistle combo and going back to zzzz. Suspect too late, am still bit pissed. I am 42, why does this still seem a good idea? why? <queezey>

Oblomov Sun 08-Jun-14 08:33:37

Laughing at MrsB.
Fears this may also be Me, in a couple of weeks, post wench meet up.

Oblomov Sun 08-Jun-14 08:40:00

Madame, I'm in, for sweepstake.


Just woke up channeling MrsB. Why indeed. The reason this government doesn't get my vote, is because they haven't yet made it illegal for fully grown women to drink too much.

Ok so dream - I was doing a houseshare/ living in a small studio flat with adjoining flat <random dream stuff> and guess who rented the room/flat next to me - only FRICKING Tom. I was so convinced things would happen, all I needed was to orchestrate an 'accidental' meeting.
So I did, by accidentally pushing open his door grin downside is, he was sat on sofa with a girl <spits>.
Buuuuut he looked up at me as I 'oops, sorry'd' him. He gave me the look.
Then girl, drove away, and I felt that she was not a love interest but agent type thing.
So then I was just waiting to 'bump' into him again. Which was inevitable. I could feel him, we were that close.

Then I fucking woke up.

<runs at wall to knock self back to sleep>

You can cervical sweepstake me too Madame <parp>

LaComtessdelafere Sun 08-Jun-14 08:55:04

Ooh Hannah. Lovely lovely dream. Sure you can get a 'continuance' on that (good wife style legal term). I sooooo see you as kalinda now. gringringrin

MrsB my my my these book lib nights are a laugh. My book group is v serious, lots if English teachers etc so wine but not to barf levelsgrin. Do pop some bleach round when you wake up. Shame mother a not there to mop up for you.

MalcolmTuckersMistress Sun 08-Jun-14 09:10:55


<has 8 trillion things to do today and no time for wenching or Cardinal Confession Booth Sexy Time>


LetUsPrey Sun 08-Jun-14 09:13:53

Morning wenches. Excellent dream Hannah. You're getting closer!

Hope you feel better soon MrsB.

Sports stuff for DC this morning, then my parents, then MIL's and out for her birthday. This means I am recording Soccer Aid as we won't be back in time to watch.

JessCate Sun 08-Jun-14 09:14:56

mrsb you little pisshead!!!! Top marks for vomming though, classy wench badge goes to you today grin

Morning wenches, I had weird dreams about spying on random men's houses last night... Guess what? In 7 days time I'll be on a plane!!! try not to all celebrate getting rid of me at once

FolknNorah Sun 08-Jun-14 09:19:14

You can have my Athos dream. I can still remember bits of it very clearly, smell of his leather etc. ugh.

<shouts> HOW'S YOUR HEAD NOW? grin at this rate your DH/p won't believe you when you say you're going to a book club shock

What do we have to do with the sweepstake? I'm in. Probably. When is this football thing on? Unless ds2 finds it it won't be on in this house.

MadamedeChevreuse Sun 08-Jun-14 09:35:58






Bloody germ ridden offspring.

Anyone who wants in on WORLD CUP SWEEPSTAKE say "im in" and ill make a list. Then everyone gets given a world cup team to support (names out of a hat). If your team wins, you win the prize, or pot, if we have one. Details tbc following chaotic discussion. The main thing is, world cup loads more fun if yr in a sweepie, even if you hate football. And we can discuss / groupwatch on here since theres fuck all musketeer related between SA and dr who

Why cant I just go back to bed?????? Waaaaaaahhhhhh!

AnneElkMiss Sun 08-Jun-14 09:37:19

When is this football thing on ?

grin Norah

I'm with ya, I had to hibernate through all the Soccer aid waffle

ApricotCrush Sun 08-Jun-14 09:42:43

Morning all. MrsB hope your head feels better soon. smile

I had a Tom dream a couple of weeks ago. DH was working in a theatre in London where Tom had played and he said I could go with him. Anyway we were there when Tom appeared and he was lovely and said he'd give us a conducted tour. We went up onto the stage and then I suddenly noticed I had my bra in my hand (why, oh why does something utterly embarrassing always have to happen).

I hastily shoved it under my jacket and then realised I hadn't got my camera so dashed back to the seats to get it ... and woke up. grin

I'm in for the sweepstake whatever it is.

I'm in.

Looking forward to a bit of Santi tonight. What position will he play d'ya reckon? What was his default position back in his semi pro days? <insert rude comments about semis and positions>

I'm actually ridiculously excited about seeing him. It's been toooooooo long <insert rude comment>

Programme starts at 6, what time is kick off?

<asks million questions in form of irritating child>

JessCate Sun 08-Jun-14 09:55:51

I'm in for sweepstake, hope I don't get a shit team ie England/Scotland grin right no live watches of the World Cup please?! Unless 2 wenches have their teams in the final?!

MadamedeChevreuse Sun 08-Jun-14 10:02:37

Attacking midfielder I think hannah.

Scotland not in it jess!

MadamedeChevreuse Sun 08-Jun-14 10:03:56

Nice dream apricot!

AnneElkMiss Sun 08-Jun-14 10:20:26

Three words.


Fuck you and your 25% off 6 bottles of wine deals, and alluring displays of prosecco. That's the last time I cross your till palm with my debit card silver! <boycotts>

QueenAnneofAustriaSpain Sun 08-Jun-14 10:51:02

I assume midfield too.

Just been to swimming lesson with DS2 - (why have I booked two activities at 9.30 on Sat and on Sun is beyond me). I took my kindle as I thought great 30 mins reading. Only the whole bloody school is there on Subday mornings.

Ooh nice Elk. They are so fit aren't they - in the muscular, hard, tight body sense. And the energy.......<trails off>......

I'd have all four of them. Together. Once I'd shaved Anthony's dodgy porn tache off, I would play all of their instruments, and then they, would very gratefully return the favour.

Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 11:11:12

He'd better bloody be misfielding or attacking as I want a goal. Quite how I will manage to celebrate that in silence I haven't quite worked out yet. And I am still sending Mourinho PLAYYYYYYYY HIIIIIMMMMMMMM vibes cos I know hat footie managers are like......you weren't at training, you're on the bench. <Warning:if this happens this eve I will swear. A lot>

Morning wenches! Have only just got on here as have been for a run to try & get it done before it gets any hotter. This was clearly deluded as I am now a friggin beetroot despite having showered. And I nearly died. <Postives out of a negative situ: Santi will be sweaty they eve>

Oh & just look at this & what he's written. Just how lovely is he?


Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 11:12:36

WTAF does this mean? OMG am on tenterhooks.

Mourinho's team announcement at 11.30am today. Good chance I'll be on the Dame Judy! An impact substitution to make though.

ApricotCrush Sun 08-Jun-14 11:12:53

Oh shit! We're going on a helicopter pleasure thingy this afternoon. It seemed a good idea at the time it was booked, but I'm absolutely petrified of flying, although I do think you should make yourself do things that scare you.

I've now seen that there's an airshow going on in the vicinity, vulcan bombers, hurricanes, spitfires, and the bloody Red Arrows, and we're in a tiny helicopter. Eeeeek! shock

I'll be back later for SoccerAid...... hopefully.

Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 11:13:45

I know Dame Judy is the bench. It was the next bit I was querying. This is from a ROW player on twitter

JessCate Sun 08-Jun-14 11:24:48

Who is dame judy? IS JUDI DENCH PLAYING?! argh I'm SO confused.

MadamedeChevreuse Sun 08-Jun-14 11:33:20

who said it? Adam thing? I think he means he´s on the bench, but he's reckoning himself as an "impact substitution" ie mourinho can bring him on and he'll score a hatrick (yeh whatevs adam)

bloody hell apricot! youll be fine. btw my DS would trade in all his star wars toys and dvds FOR EVER for your afternoon.

MadamedeChevreuse Sun 08-Jun-14 11:36:29

ah it was kevin bridges. ditto kevin.

robbie williams is out cos of injury! no winking or gurning from him. damn.

LaComtessdelafere Sun 08-Jun-14 11:45:14

I think Williams is a bit of a chubster so maybe not as fit as required grin. I will be very fucked off if Santi isn't on, but I think Jose will like him as not a showboater and also general Latin quiet charm unlike the Celtic fringe lot...


LaComtessdelafere Sun 08-Jun-14 11:49:15

AC I've been on a heli once. I was VERY GREEN when I got off tho I did enjoy it. Take a travel sick tabletgrin. You will enjoy it, see you for SA,

MrsBeeee Sun 08-Jun-14 12:09:13

Despite being massive judgy pants DH has taken DS to the park. DD on a trip to local kids adventure park thing. So am back in bed. If anyone so much as sees me looking at Prosecco or red wine again please slap me. It's not clever.

I did bleach first thing Comtess. I clearly can't hold my drink but I am hygienic. But yes please send Mother S round.

Am in on works cup sweepie.

MrsBeeee Sun 08-Jun-14 12:13:24

Sword fighting video from BBC America

Howie packing a punch

Apologies if these got posted already, but cba to read back and check. New stuff.

AnotherHelenB Sun 08-Jun-14 12:20:18

<pops in>
<Grabs drink for bar>
Sodding hot out there!
<trots about outside to RL>

ApricotCrush Sun 08-Jun-14 12:21:26

Comtess thanks, never thought of travel sickness tablets and haven't got any.

<hastily searches local chemist rota>

Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 12:22:03

Dame Judy Dench = on the bench

Come On Jess, you bloody work in London!

Yep I'm getting the impact substitution. For a mo I thought someone had an impact injury & i did a silent inward scream.

Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 12:23:26

Robbie may not be playing but this is his baby so there will be plenty of gurning & him friggin taking the whole place over. And Jonny Wideboy I mean Wilkes.

LaComtessdelafere Sun 08-Jun-14 12:23:57

I like the punch one MrsBgrin. How you feeling now? Iffy still??

LurkyLurkio Sun 08-Jun-14 12:25:07

Sparkle, where's this bloody team announcement, can't find it anywhere and now Robbie and England are taking their turn....
Michael sheen up at 8 on the radio promoting UNICEF, Robbie looks like he's just woken up :p
Just glad Jonathan Wilkes has found time in his hectic schedule for the gruelling hospitality piss up commitment that Soccer aid takes.

Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 12:26:39

In breaking news, Paddy McGuinness is on his second poo of the day.

At least Hannah stuck to licking & cunelingus. No pooing at all hmm

LaComtessdelafere Sun 08-Jun-14 12:27:29

hmmsparkle hope those two don't get so irritating I have to turn it offhmm

Have driven troops to pool but CBA to get inshock naughty old Comtess. Nothing decent to look at tho. Boo hiss.

Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 12:29:23

Grrrrrr I fear we may not know til tonight Lurky. Why am I so nervous? Why?

Also - I need that mench pic to tweet. Are we absolutely certain it is a new pauldron - cos I don't want to be making a TwitterTwat of myself

LetUsPrey Sun 08-Jun-14 12:58:44

He's got the number 9 shirt!

9 is my lucky number even though that's all bollocks so I'm taking that as a personal message to me. It also says midfield to me, possibly an attacking midfielder (this may be me talking bollocks BTW)

Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 13:05:32

Oooooof what I wouldn't do given 5 mins alone in there with him on one of those physio beds.....

<Drifts off>

<Drifts back>

Yaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy goooooooo Santi!!!

LetUs I can't believe you're missing this tonight. Honestly, I'd have blown MIL out grin

Team A1 are going to ruuuuuule in here tonight. And drive every other wench mental, no doubt.

LetUsPrey Sun 08-Jun-14 13:05:37
Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 13:08:13

Woooahhhh hellllllloooooo Alessandro

Cunelingus?....erm I'll have you know, I was referring to his forehead, thanks Sparkle. <defamation>

Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 13:12:08

Jess is going to see red when she sees those McAvoy fenches

I am practising my ALEXEI!!!!!!!!!!!! <leaps off chair>

Hi I'm up for world cup sweepstake too although I also don't know much more than it's in Brazil. Will be watching soccer aid though in wench solidarity. Letus How good are you at acting? Cause if I were you I'd start to feel a touch of the lurgy coming on at around 4ish so you simply must go home (preferably with everyone else staying at MIL's) so you can take to the sofa with your duvet and the remote! In fact you're starting to look a bit peaky around now I imagine. grin

Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 13:15:15

My pompoms are sooooooo ready. They are twitching already

Everyone supporting ROW who isn't a wench. Is now a fench. And very much on the Dame Judy.

It's going to be a riot of perving, and slating. Slating the twats on the England team, and all fenches. I do like a few of the England team. But not many.

I am ROWer all the way!

Get your ball--s--, get your balls out......<rowdy>

Oh and have a good flight Apricot but I agree with Comtesse re: puky pills. I barfed spectacularly in front of a load of military big wigs last time I was on one of those things. blush

Can you imagine the trauma if Dog had been England and Santi ROW? Now we can just be ROW all the way although my family will be perplexed that I'm not supporting England or in fact that I'm watching without complaint in the first place.....!

LetUsPrey Sun 08-Jun-14 13:23:21

Have fun on the helicopter ride Apricot. Just imagine musketeers to take your mind off it.

The lurgy is actually a good idea grin. However, MIL is very lovely and she's had a bit of a year so far. And it gives me a valid reason to record it and watch it at my leisure. In private.

Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 13:28:36

I'm bloody recording it too. <Gets out telly manual. Looks up slo-mo>

I won't get that past un-noticed. Cue ridicule all round. Maybe I'll just start drinking at about 3 then I can ride it out.

<Have already done tmrw's packed lunches so as to free up 4 hours from 6!!>

Oh yes, enjoy your afternoon Apricot. <well jel>

Having one of those weird days today, where time passing slowly. But in good way. Getting loads done. It's been a good value for money Sunday so far. Sun shining helps too.

Not bad considering how rough I felt first thing. I'm sending recover soon vibes to you MrsB. I got lucky. Though I could still be drunk. Might explain why I thought emptying the chest freezer first thing was good idea hmm It's like when people on tv progs/films take certain drugs and suddenly want to walk to Scotland/repaint whole house. I'm running on something here today. I'm not sure what. But I'm not complaining grin

Just waiting for the crash grin grin

JessCate Sun 08-Jun-14 13:29:38

All fenches can back off McAvoy and Santi. Or they deal with me and I am fucking starving, so angry + starving = not a good wench to deal with grin

Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 13:37:38

God no. Scary.

I too am having v productive Sunday. Mainly due to my early run, which usually seems to take up half my day by the time I've waited for my porridge to go down.

Also time is crawling cos I am fair fair excited.

jess how I wish we hadn't been sensible & had just bought tix. We'd be up there now fenching with the best of em & we'd have the Tavern right behind us.

Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 13:38:11

VAIR VAIR poxy autocorrect

How close are you sparkle - its maybe not too late???

LaComtessdelafere Sun 08-Jun-14 13:41:32

Hmmm Hannah have you stolen my energy??huh? Someone has <narrows eyes>.

HAve managed to make Sunday lunch by pretending in my head to be on a cooking program showing how to make the dish and prep veg. Tell me someone else does this too??!!blushgrin Of am I just totally crackers?

On a right go slow, a bit hot, limited energyhmm. I think I'm in a sugar slump and body is now drained.

LaComtessdelafere Sun 08-Jun-14 13:42:45

I tell you what I bet Elk is secretly salivating over those physio tables and the thought of those bodies all needing her ministrations.

Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 13:47:46

Nowhere near TW. And TBH I think unless you're in first couple of rows it'll probably be a better view on TV. Of course, on TV I am going to be dependent on ITV cameraman whereas if I was there I would only be watching one player. This is why I hope he's friggin good,so he's actually near the ball & therefore on screen.

Soccer Aid 2016 I will be there not eh first day of ticket release. I am bloody good at bagging front row too. Stick with me Jess.

I bet she is Comtess. I tell you what I'm still waiting for a better report on Treville's muscle structure which was clearly visible on that picture I posted but no .... if it's not Athos/Tom she's not interested fickle wench.

Are you allowed natural sugar ie fruit or dried fruit to give you a bit of a boost?

Sparkle I also have a sure fire way of getting front row seats and priority entrance at things^taps nose enigmatically^ maybe you both should stick with me eh? grin

Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 13:52:09

Adam Richman has just tweeted himself with Del Piero. Lurky we need Santi's one to tweet Luca with, he will be beside himself with jealousy!

Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 13:52:54


Does this include backstage passes for BBC productions? Does it??!

er no Sparkle, sadly not .... If that was the case I'd be sipping tea with the cast in Prague as we speak!

LetUsPrey Sun 08-Jun-14 14:07:32
JessCate Sun 08-Jun-14 14:09:39

sparkle we are definitely going soccer aid in 2 years time okay?!

Also wenches there is a Prague 4 star break on offer on wowcher!!!!

Right it's so sunny and I need to get some base colour so going to hang about in the sun for a bit before SA tonight!

Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 14:15:01

I saw the Wowcher thing Jess. I want to do that too. Hell, I've got 6 weeks off coming up, lets just book it & worry about everything else after!

Flopsy28 Sun 08-Jun-14 14:45:14

<crawls into tavern>
Pint of Porthos please mother s.
Well, that's 6 hours of my life I'm not going to get back. To be honest though, I quite like car-booting when I get into it, I just despise early mornings. I have RTFT but most of it has gone straight back out. One thing though, Hannah, I bloody love your Alan Carr slut drop and I bet Athos does too

was it a sunny car boot sale at least Flopsy? Why not sneak up to the hayloft with Porthos or anyone else you fancy whilst no one else is here? I'll cover for you.

I appear to have the Tavern to myself so I'll put this on the jukebox and have a dance round. About to start as the part of the 1980's movie marathon on Channel 5.......... who you gonna call?


AnotherHelenB Sun 08-Jun-14 15:08:16

Flops, I'm just changing the loose straw in the hayloft
<chucks down claggy straw all matted with massage oil #firehazard,>
<breaks open lovely fresh bale of meadow hay>
<sniiiiiiiifffff - lovely smell that!>
Ok, you're good to go grin

AnotherHelenB Sun 08-Jun-14 15:10:01

TW are you on wheels?
<back to RL to supervise homework>

Helen - do you mean in RL?

Flopsy28 Sun 08-Jun-14 15:18:23

Cheers TW, come on Porthos, Helen's made it all clean and comfy. Be gentle though, got a bit of sun burn. Maybe we should take Athos' ice bucket up and experiment.

LurkyLurkio Sun 08-Jun-14 15:24:34

Sparkle, not great I know, but socceraid seem to be tweeting pics of the shirts one by one, so if you're quick you could tweet santi's to JessP and luke....

Cinnamoncookie Sun 08-Jun-14 15:32:35

Ooof, it's too itchy for hay in interesting places today.

<Puts down cool throw for Flopsy >

Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 15:40:14

No need LurkY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 15:41:51

I have Luca again wenches grin

Wenches(ROW) 2-0 Fenches (England)

Flopsy28 Sun 08-Jun-14 16:01:01

That's lovely and comfy, cheers cinn.

ah he re-tweeted you Sparkle! Hello Cinn - hope you are not too itchy up in the hayloft.

Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 16:30:49
Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 16:36:48

Hannah. Sit on your hands grin

Ooh lovely bottom pic.

Why the fucking fuck is that Luca retweet not showing on my timeline? I've had to go onto Luca's to see it.

its not on my timeline either Hannah - I had to do the same and look for it on Luke's. Don't really understand twitter though feel like an old biddy

Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 16:42:37

I'm getting friggin retweeted & favourited left right & centre & I don't get it either grin

Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 16:46:04

If my family knew I was Tavern Rep on social media they would literally piss themselves.

I'm doing it for The Tavern grin 'S for all ma wenches

Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 16:48:04

<Pours another Bellini>

<Rubs hands together>

<Carries on talking to herself>

No worries Sparkle. The devil is not in me. Yet <threatens> grin

I might go crazy later though. I'm like a gremlin. Feed me chicken after midnight, and it all kicks off. <or something like that> grin grin

<teaches Flopsy the slut drop> grin

Problem is, I can't get back up again. And that's with just my dodgy back. Not sure how the fuck you'll cope Floppers. <thankfully it's all virtual so let's go for another one>

..and down we go < Slut Drop > Oh yeah Flops, that's great, now stick arse out, <sticks arse out> twerk a bit <twerks a bit>, bite lip <bites lip>, gurn smoulder < gurns smoulders> channel Alan...

Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 16:58:07

You forgot the hair flick.


My Bellini's going greeaaaaatttttttt

Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 16:58:58

Am thinking I may also be dangerous on the Twatville later. I will be Bellini'ed up & Santi'ed up. Mwhahaahahaha

AnneElkMiss Sun 08-Jun-14 17:03:40

Ok Trev you asked for it, have you got a pen and paper ready....

As you can see rectus abominus is well defined and shows excellent symmetry. Purple arrow A shows where the external obliques interdigitate with the RECTUS SHEATH, and there is a clear line of definition bilaterally.

Orange arrow B illustrates the V of destiny fascial demarcation between obliques and transversus abdominus, the yummy definition her indicates he is strong in his core.

The shape of the inguinal lines C1 and C2 suggest that his pelvis is thrusting neutral, and judging by the relative positions of rectus femoris (opaque green arrows), he is weightbearing more on his left leg which creates stability for the slight rotation of his upper trunk to the right - left shoulder D1 is rotated forwards - see the shadow between fondle deltoid and pecs, compared to the right (D2).

Red arrow E shows his spare socks massive knob

AnneElkMiss Sun 08-Jun-14 17:05:38

I prefer my treatment couches to be double width thanks (fnar)

oh Elk. Very fine and detailed analysis. This is me.............

Thanks wine thanks oh and some of this for good measure cake

Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 17:25:18

<Runs out of ROW dressing room>

YY as Assistant, agree with everything Elk has said. Now back to that physio bed.

Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 17:26:19

I am now off to iron again. Last time I did that it got v messy in here.

<Where is my posse? 34 mins & counting>

grin brilliant Elk!

Phwoaaaaaaaaaaar at RECTUS SHEATH. Again.

Can you please <begs> explain exactly what a Rectus Sheath <husky breathless> is?

(And make it dirty good.)

Flopsy28 Sun 08-Jun-14 17:36:38

<executes perfect slut drop with extra twerk> Cheers hannah<tit parp>

elk, that synopsis of Speer's knob body is fan-fecking-tastic. You should get a job as a physio wink. There are defo enough of us who are knackered old hags need one. I think I heard too many clicks whilst dropping it like it's luke warm hot.

MadamedeChevreuse Sun 08-Jun-14 17:46:00


Wahhhhhh! I AM DYING! No one cares! <melodrama>

Cadt bread AD ALL. Redurn to dottimgham etc.

sparkle im sorry im having a kip for a bit. Wont it be most likely santi free til 9 anyway? Ill try to have a look in a bit but may not be able to til 9.

Well done om a brace (footy lingo) of luca tweets too. Go for the hatrick!

elk that was top rate pervy analysis. Oooh. You're doing us proud and I just love that youve got your coloured pens out.

AnneElkMiss Sun 08-Jun-14 17:47:53
Sparklegeek Sun 08-Jun-14 17:51:08

You're going to miss an hour of the match Madame shock

Lukewarm lolzzzzz.

I love you lot grin grin

Comtess? Did you suck take my energy? <peels self off wall>

What time is kick off, do we reckon? 7:45? Programme is 4 hours long!!

X post.

Flopsy28 Sun 08-Jun-14 18:07:32

Sorry you feel pants madame, loving the tunes ref. X