The fourth WIIT thread travels far and wide, with tales of new adventures to share.

(985 Posts)
100years Sat 17-Sep-11 13:00:16

Hello Ladies,

Here is the 4th WIIT thread for our enjoyment.

Stats will have to follow at a later date, as I can't check back to see where everyone is accurately at the moment.

Get posting and lets see where this thread takes us. smile

old thread

bebeballroom Sat 17-Sep-11 13:18:01

100 - Thank you!! grin Superstar!!

AC - Have a nice time at MILs....and make sure you book TBT

Nannyl - hope you have found us?!

I think we should start new stats....since alot of us have 'moved on' since we last did them!


Bebe - Waiting (still) to TTC#2 hopefully sometime this decade!

AmandaCooper Sat 17-Sep-11 14:08:37

Thank you 100years I have to admit I was worried there for a minute!

Well MIL has dug out DH's old cot for us, it's exactly the same as the cot I had when I was a baby! Perfect!

Bebe - Waiting (still) to TTC#2 hopefully sometime this decade!
Amanda - Waiting (still) to TTC#1, again, hopefully sometime this decade!

squirrel007 Sat 17-Sep-11 16:19:49

A new thread, very exciting!!

AC lol at the egg white grin

100years impressed at your birth story and at your willpower in avoiding an epidural.

nannyl [wave] congrats on your birth, glad it all went well at home for you smile

Hi to everyone else!

Bebe - Waiting (still) to TTC#2 hopefully sometime this decade!
Amanda - Waiting (still) to TTC#1, again, hopefully sometime this decade!
Squirrel - DD1 born 1st July

MrsSatsuma Sat 17-Sep-11 20:01:56

Ooh, shiny new thread! Has anyone remembered to bring the Gruffalo's lead?

Welcome back nannyl! and AC - can't remember if I've said it to you yet! Been a loooong and busy week....

Marking my place with stats:

Bebe - Waiting (still) to TTC#2 hopefully sometime this decade!
Amanda - Waiting (still) to TTC#1, again, hopefully sometime this decade!
Squirrel - DD1 born 1st July
MrsS - Waiting to TTC#1 maybe early 2012 depending on what I decide! (and it is what I decide as DH is all for it... so the boot's on the other foot here... makes me feel a bit bad...)

MrsSatsuma Sat 17-Sep-11 20:02:29

Whoever goes next, please don't include all the random ramblings after my stats btw!!

AmandaCooper Sat 17-Sep-11 23:16:08

MrsS thanks for the welcome back! So remind me, what is it you are waiting for now if not DH. <tries to imagine not waiting for DH>

SPR good to see you! TBT is from London to Los Angeles, then hiring a car and driving down the coast road to San Fransisco, then Vegas and Grand Canyon, then flying out of Vegas.

Welcome back Nannyl and congratulations on becoming a mummy! x

Bebe - Waiting (still) to TTC#2 hopefully sometime this decade!
Amanda - Waiting (still) to TTC#1, again, hopefully sometime this decade!
Squirrel - DD1 born 1st July
MrsS - Waiting to TTC#1 maybe early 2012 depending on what I decide!
SPR - DC1 due 10th March

TBT sounds fantastic. DH and I were supposed to do that last summer but had to put plans on hold because of work and house stuff. You'll have an amazing time smile

Welcome back Nannyl. We've missed you smile

Still in bed this morning (lazy cow!!) as had a busy week and went into town yesterday. Think we've narrowed the buggy search to 2/3 contenders but are now totally stuck! Good job we started early!!!!!

AmandaCooper Sun 18-Sep-11 14:31:28

What are the 2/3 contenders?

Bugaboo Cameleon
iCandy Peach
iCandy Strawberry (not out yet hence decision issues!!!)

It's all so confusing!

AmandaCooper Sun 18-Sep-11 17:22:12

You can say that again, how on earth are you supposed to choose?! This is worse than choosing which cloth nappy brand to get!

100years Sun 18-Sep-11 17:35:03

Bebe - Waiting (still) to TTC#2 hopefully sometime this decade!
Amanda - Waiting (still) to TTC#1, again, hopefully sometime this decade!
Squirrel - DD1 born 1st July
MrsS - Waiting to TTC#1 maybe early 2012 depending on what I decide!
SPR - DC1 due 10th March
100years - DD1 born 9th Sept

Well today sees the first of the real nappies smile mega poo in it and then on it during changing! O M G I'm not sure it will ever look the same again!!!!

She's lovely and placid through the day, sleeps well at night but turns into feed me monster in the evening for a few hours. But does have some settled time in the eve, but just when you think she can't want anymore it's 'gimme boob' noises again! Lol think she is a little windy in the evening. We're getting there with it though. smile

Enjoyed a couple of chill out days and a walk to her aunties yesterday smile

Ooh food time for her now. Ttfn

I'll catch up in a bit

MrsSatsuma Sun 18-Sep-11 20:57:25

Ooh AC I did that exact trip (but the other way round) last year! Had a fantastic time. Let me know if you want any tips! In answer to your question, DH is waiting for me and my cold feet blush

SPR you are allowed a lie-in. I've heard people sometimes don't get many when the LO arrives....?!

100years Sun 18-Sep-11 21:26:50

Well I didn't get out of bed till 11 yesterday! That's a good lie in for someone with a 1 wk old. Granted we had fed a few times at 8 and 9:30 ish but still rested in bed! Lol amazing. Then at 10 OH took LO into front room for me to rest a bit more.

More feeding time now. She's in wake mode now so I'll have to go.

squirrel007 Mon 19-Sep-11 09:55:50

Amanda I also did a similar trip (Vegas, Pacific Coast Highway, San Francisco) and it was great fun. Really liked the scenery and food along there. I have great memories of eating piles of blueberry pancakes for breakfast grin

100years yay for staying in bed! I admit to lots of lazy mornings in bed with DD at the moment smile It's especially good if you feed lying down and can doze a bit while she's feeding. Everyone says to sleep when the baby does, but I found it hard to nap in the middle of the afternoon, so prefer to have lazy mornings

SPR I didn't know icandy had a new model, I like the style of their prams! I have the icandy cherry, which really suits us. We didn't get the chameleon or peach as they're too big (only have a small car) and I quite liked the idea of a small compact pram anyway.

DD is awake, I'd better go! Oh, and I've added an up to date picture on my profile smile

bebeballroom Mon 19-Sep-11 10:45:36

Ahh Squirrel, Charlotte is adorable! What big beautiful eyes!! smile

100 - Definitely stay in bed as much as possible!! wink

AC - TBT, sounds fabulous!! DH & I want to go to vegas....but probably without DD!!

AmandaCooper Mon 19-Sep-11 13:14:08

Hmm he still hasn't booked the time off. He's been muttering about it looking bad - apparently the thing to do to show your boss how much you're in demand is to not take a break. Now where's that Gruffalo?

AmandaCooper Mon 19-Sep-11 13:19:58

And how can we do TBT if DH can't take any time off work? And how can TBT be so important if it's not even important enough to take holiday for?

minipie Mon 19-Sep-11 13:23:40

Just marking my place and adding to the stats - will be back for a chat later!

Bebe - Waiting (still) to TTC#2 hopefully sometime this decade!
Amanda - Waiting (still) to TTC#1, again, hopefully sometime this decade!
Squirrel - DD1 born 1st July
MrsS - Waiting to TTC#1 maybe early 2012 depending on what I decide!
SPR - DC1 due 10th March
100years - DD1 born 9th Sept
minipie - TTCing#1 since May 2011

AC what is your DH playing at? I thought he was dead keen for TBT. Has he just started a new job or is his job looking insecure? If not ... <lures Gruffalo with scent of indecisive DH>

AmandaCooper Mon 19-Sep-11 13:32:42

No nothing like that as far as I know. I mean we all know that DH doesn't actually want to go on a big trip, but to actually refuse to go on one seems a bit much! I daresay he's just procrastinating. Watch this space.

minipie Mon 19-Sep-11 13:55:27

Tchah. Do you think he's procrastinating because of the link with starting to TTC, or just because he doesn't want to commit to a Big Trip? How Big is this Big Trip - is it more than 2 weeks?

squirrel what lovely photos of Charlotte - she's beautiful.

bebeballroom Mon 19-Sep-11 14:12:40

Grrrrrrrruffalo!!!!!!! angry

Book it anyway? Force his hand? Thought TBT was his idea?!

This is the last year (possibly) that we can go to my mums holiday place (coz the week she has it is in term time & DD starts school next year) & DH promised he would come, bear in mind he's known when it was for...well, a year, coz it's the same week every year. DH has never been. I took DD on my own with my mum when she was 8 weeks old. (She had an ear infection & screamed the whole time (I didn't know why until her ear drum ruptured the day after I got home) & my mum was no help at all hmm) Anyway, I digress! Less than a week til we go (Friday) he is now saying that he probably can't come. And while I am not surprised I am secretly livid and trying really hard to not make a big deal out of it! But am SO pissed off. What is with these DHs?!?! Aaaarrrrggghhh!!!!

100years Mon 19-Sep-11 15:11:21

Good afternoon all.

Squirrel, gorgeous little girl, very wide eyed and awake. I do have the odd snooze mid afternoon or early evening, but it's weird at times. But if I don't do that I find the evening tough as she is cluster feeding at the moment from 8ish till 11ish.

bebe, I'm trying! and looks like you need the Gruffalo too.

AC, FFS, what is he like??!!

I was hoping the Gruffalo would have a rest this thread, looks like I was very wrong. sad

MW just been, LO is now 7lb2 on day 10 smile yay, a nice weight gain of 7oz smile and into the alb brigade. The cluster feeding is normal, it's all due to the milk produced at that time of day. My cut is not sewn properly, but MW is OK with it, and thinks it should be OK, but will come and look at it next monday to check it again. Been out to the shops today smile went to mother care and sainsbury's, had to attempt a feed in the car for a few mins as she was really hungry, but it wasn't the easiest thing, and OH came back as he had nipped into B&Q for something, so we put her back in the seat and drove home, which was fine, and had a monster feed when we got home.

Quodlibet Mon 19-Sep-11 15:22:48

Bebe - Waiting (still) to TTC#2 hopefully sometime this decade!
Amanda - Waiting (still) to TTC#1, again, hopefully sometime this decade!
Squirrel - DD1 born 1st July
MrsS - Waiting to TTC#1 maybe early 2012 depending on what I decide!
SPR - DC1 due 10th March
100years - DD1 born 9th Sept
minipie - TTCing#1 since May 2011
Quodlibet - (hopefully on the final stretch of) waiting to TTC#1

Ahhhh, a new thread, and we know it's ours because there's already the background rumble of rage as across the land, WIIT men cancel f*cking holidays!

I thought AC's DH DID want to go on a Big Trip? Or is he just flinging down obstacles in the path of TTC so that he can continue his Olympic-standard dithering? (Great TBT btw AC, I would LOVE to do that...if your DH cancels can I come instead? I'll bring some eggs?)

Hurrah that Nannyl has rejoined us - I read her birth story on another thread, incredible!

Squirrel, Charlotte is just beautiful. What incredible eyes.

A good day over here as my company received a 'yes' to our latest grant today, which means that I won't have to work for free from now til Xmas and bankrupt myself in the process, hurrah!

MrBebe is in bad books with MrCooper. I'm so cross with them both for being so unreliable.

Bebe - what does DD say about Daddy missing all these holidays? Hols are essential. Particularly if you are in a stressful job and even more so if you are prone to being a bit depressed. Can you get her to guilt him into coming along???

AC - words actually fail me.

bebeballroom Mon 19-Sep-11 18:44:42

Oooh, Nannyl, please come back & share your birth story!! smile

100 - What a great weight gain!! That's fantastic!! You should be very proud of yourself! wink

Quod - great news on the grant!

SPR - DD doesn't really understand, she's so used to going to see Granny without DH that she finds it weird (and last time was a little confused & upset) when he does come!! hmm Says it all really! She's 3 now & I think since she was born he's been to visit my mum with us about 5 times! I do it more than 5 times a year!!! There is a part of me that feels sorry for him that he is 'unable' to take a holiday, BUT his Dad has been away with family twice this year & DH hasn't had a decent holiday away since we've been married...4 years in December!!

Quodlibet Tue 20-Sep-11 09:50:56

Bebe I get the same annoyance with my DP - his workmates and manager all seem perfectly able to go on holiday, but with my DP it's always imperative that he has to work on this thing now.
It's going to be a bit of a lonely month over here as DP is away for 75% of the time now til the end of October!

My friend delivered a HUGE baby this morning after nearly 48 hrs of labour! I was getting quite worried as she let us know labour had started on Sunday morning and we'd heard nothing until this morning. But all well, thankfully. So the owl is off to his new home!

I never understand why men are so funny about not taking time off work to be honest!! DH's boss was an absolute nightmare about annual leave and would regularly tell him that he would have to be on call on his holiday but he still took time off and would often turn his blackberry off and claim that he had no reception. His job was so stressful that he needed to take time off to get sleep and try to undo the harm that so much pressure does to your body. I think holidays are incredibly important and some companies actually get a bit funny if you don't take them!!

I am sure that your DH's jobs are important but surely the business can survive for a week without them there.....!

Speaking of irritating DH's......

I was slouching about in a pair of leggings last night after my bath and before bed time (I never really wear them but they were comfy for lounging about watching TV) and DH said to me:

DH "you can really see your shape changing in those leggings"
ME "Ummmm..... I'm wearing a long baggy top. how can you see?"
DH "I meant your thighs and bum, they are looking bigger, more solid"
ME "So you're saying I've got a big arse and thighs....?"
DH "Well it's not like you're fat because you've been eating too many pies, it's because of the baby......"
ME "Can we never discuss this again please!!"

I then kept on reffering to my giant arse and thunder thighs all night to ge the point accross!! He didn't see why I was upset because he was "worried I hadn't put on any weight until now and was pleased that had".

Men are so stupid aren't they?!?!?!

bebeballroom Tue 20-Sep-11 14:11:56

Erm.....tactless much?! hmm Strop around a bit longer, just to hammer home the point!! wink

Unfortunately I do actually think that DHs company would fall apart without him! sad No one can do what he does, or deal with the crap that he has to fend off on a daily basis! sad <sigh> Just have to keep reminding myself that it won't be like this forever! Or at least, it better bloody well not be!!

bebeballroom Wed 21-Sep-11 12:51:57

Feeling very mopey today with the realisation that I have been waiting to TTC for over 2 years! sad

Don't know why it's suddenly just hit me today. But definitely having a down day. Doesn't help that I'm getting DDs cold & feel rubbish (just in time for holiday) so all I really want to do is curl up in bed & slob around. Not even a peanut butter & banana sandwich can cheer me up!

bebeballroom Wed 21-Sep-11 13:21:44

Ok, so now I feel awful...DH just rang to say he's off to hospital with his PA as they suspect she is having a MC and is terrified! sad

Don't feel awful. How horrible for her but not your fault. Maybe this will remind your DH of how wonderful having DD was!?!?

Crap that you have the cold and that it's 2 years of waiting........ sad how long is it since your last BIG CHAT?

bebeballroom Wed 21-Sep-11 15:39:39

Last 'Big Chat' was about 2 months ago. The reasoning behind DH not wanting to TTC was pretty much financial/work based....this has not improved, if anything it's worse. sad

Spoke to him about 20mins ago, he is feeling very emotional & really traumatised by seeing her in such a state. sad Feel terrible for whinging about poor old me when she is going through this. I should be feeling so grateful for what I have, for DD.

Quodlibet Wed 21-Sep-11 16:40:56

Poor woman - but you shouldn't feel terrible Bebe, it's not in any way connected or related with you feeling down about your lot. I'm sure you are really grateful for DD but we can't all go round entranced with the wonder of life all the time, there has to be light and shade for all of us.

If his reasoning is to do with work/finance stuff, and that's not changing, then is there a way of persuading him that there has to be another criteria for when to TTC? Is there anything you could change around, or any way of bringing in more income maybe?

minipie Wed 21-Sep-11 17:12:51

Oh, poor girl sad hope she and baby are ok. Don't feel guilty bebe how were you to know, and anyway it doesn't mean you're not entitled to be a bit miserable too.

What do you think about the work/finance reasons?

AmandaCooper Wed 21-Sep-11 18:42:29

Bebe I have sent you an email about a corporate networking event I was invited to on the theme Pimms and cupcake masterclass. I thought it might be something you could replicate. It was really popular.

AmandaCooper Wed 21-Sep-11 18:44:20

Oh shit must remember to read; then post, I've done it again haven't I? Sorry Bebe that's awful news. Hope she's ok.

bebeballroom Wed 21-Sep-11 19:23:54

AC - don't worry, I do that kind of thing all the time!! wink Email looks good, I shall have a think about that. Also had an idea (sort of stolen from something I saw online) about offering an 'afternoon tea' service in people's houses.

Quod - hoping that if I can get the kitchen sorted/inspected & start doing my cake stuff properly it might earn me some extra pennies & take a little pressure of DH. I know I won't earn mega money, but I will at least be able to buy food, petrol, clothes!

Minipie - I think DH has valid points when it comes to our situation being rocky & wanting some stability. BUT at the same time another baby wouldn't really cost us much more, we already have everything we need (even enough clothes wise for a few months as have a lot of neutral). I think there are other factors which need to be considered which he insists don't come into it or aren't important! hmm

DHs PA has lost her baby. It is just so awful, she was 12weeks in a couple of days & had a scan booked for next week. DH is really shaken & upset. sad She's not only a work colleague, she's actually one of his (our) closest friends. I'm not even supposed to know as she had only told DH because of a situation at work. sad

Sorry for all the self indulgant posting today. Has anyone got any nice/exciting news to share to pick things up again?

Quodlibet Thu 22-Sep-11 09:46:06

That's really sad Bebe. My thoughts with her.

This is a lovely moment which has cheered me up today. The man throwing glitter around is the headmaster.

How are the littlest Wiits doing? 100 are you feeling any better? I hope so.

WhyWait Thu 22-Sep-11 09:59:00

Oh that's such sad news...Bebe I'm really sorry for your friend. Hopefully she will fall pregnant again, once she's ready.

You mustn't feel so guilty about the way that you feel with the baby stuff. Maybe this is the wrong time to say this (but I'm going to anyway) but maybe on the back of this sad event you could talk to him to realise that what's happened to your friend has showed you that life is precious and being a parent is the such an important job and all a baby needs is a loving home...maybe he'd see that the financial side of things shouldn't be the aspect that decides this for you both. (I really strongly believe that you can never be financially stable enough for children-there is always a bit more you could save, sometimes you just have to take a risk and lead with your heart)

SPR if DH mentions your 'changing shape' again I would give him a slap wink Alternatively, tell him that it's his baby that's causing it! I have read quite a lot of stuff that says that when your pregnant your body actually starts to store more fat so that you have reserves to make breastmilk once baby is here. I'm sat here now almost 13st!!! I never thought I would be this heavy!

Quod- boo about DH being away- a good opportunity for long lazy baths, fav food and plenty of chick flicks!

So on Monday I had my 31 wk check up (with the GP no less!) and baby is lying oblique...I'm trying not to worry about it, but any suggestions on how to get him to move would be good!

bebeballroom Thu 22-Sep-11 10:00:18

Quod - that has also brightened my day! smile

WhyWait Thu 22-Sep-11 10:00:25

Bebe - Waiting (still) to TTC#2 hopefully sometime this decade!
Amanda - Waiting (still) to TTC#1, again, hopefully sometime this decade!
Squirrel - DD1 born 1st July
MrsS - Waiting to TTC#1 maybe early 2012 depending on what I decide!
SPR - DC1 due 10th March
100years - DD1 born 9th Sept
minipie - TTCing#1 since May 2011
Quodlibet - (hopefully on the final stretch of) waiting to TTC#1
WhyWait - DS1 due 21st November

Quodlibet Thu 22-Sep-11 10:26:53

WhyWait I don't know why I know about this (have a lot of yoga-type people in my life!) but you could look here: spinning babies

MrQuod has just left for a couple of days but he will be back for the weekend which he wasn't going to be originally. We have had 3 date-nights back to back this week (def not normal for us but just how things panned out) which has been lovely, and we have been talking quite a bit about the future, including how we might sort/divide/juggle childcare so as to minimise the possibility of one of having to sacrifice our career. An ongoing thing that concerns me - I'm quite attached to my career, as is he! How has everyone else negotiated this?

100years Thu 22-Sep-11 11:06:36

Thanks bebe, I am pleased that she has gained some good weight and that's thanks to my boobs!!! LOL And all the feeding she is doing. Sorry to hear about your DH's PA, but remember her things are a totally separate issue to yours and so you shouldn't compare things to her. (I've not worded that quite right I'm afraid)

SPR, sad to tactless OHs, but WW is right in your body storing fat to help breastfeed when LO arrives, and it depends on your body shape initially and some people carry on their hips etc. Maybe he could have put it better.

Quod, I am better now thanks - tired, but the 'illness' whatever it was has cleared up. Little WIIT is more awake in the day and really quite chilled still. Re the career thing, I'm not all that attached to what I was doing, so it's not a subject we had to contend with sorry. Cool vid.

WW, hope LO moves into a better position for you soon. Edith was head down and long from 24 weeks, so I didn't have to try anything, but I was scared that come the last few weeks she'd decide she didn't like it and end up being breech or something, but thankfully not.

Feeling quite tired at the moment. Find the evenings hit me the hardest for tiredness, as that's when she wants feeding more and I want to be going to bed myself, but I'm still loving it. Think I have mastered the art of night feeding, although I swear I had double vision this morning at 5am just through being half asleep! I'm staying in my dressing gown as long as I can today and have the health visitor here this afternoon at 3, have no idea what health visitors do! I'm a newbie re all that stuff.

bebeballroom Thu 22-Sep-11 11:32:07

Ive written a massive long post twice now & twice MN has lost it!!!!

I'll be back later to do it again! Need to put some biscuits in the oven!!

Bebe - Waiting (still) to TTC#2 hopefully sometime this decade!
Amanda - Waiting (still) to TTC#1, again, hopefully sometime this decade!
Squirrel - DD1 born 1st July
MrsS - Waiting to TTC#1 maybe early 2012 depending on what I decide!
SPR - DC1 due 10th March
100years - DD1 born 9th Sept
minipie - TTCing#1 since May 2011
Quodlibet - (hopefully on the final stretch of) waiting to TTC#1
WhyWait - DS1 due 21st November
Strawberrypie - DD1 due October 8th

Hi all, sorry to hear the very sad news from your friend bebe sad

Whywait- I think that your LO has plenty of time to get into the right position- my midwife seemed totally unconcerned about the possible breech position of mine until 36 weeks and even then most babies turn around of their own accord. Try not to worry but if you get to that stage and he is still oblique I would recommend trying hypnotherapy and/or acupuncture.

Quod- career wise if time off will affect things for you it is only fair that your OH shoulders 50% of any childcare. What does he think about this?

AC- any news on TBT? We are also still waiting for the egg white story! (only joking- I'm sure some things should be between a girl and their free range egg)

SPR- How rude of your OH! Am I right in thinking you have had an eating disorder in the past- he should know better than making comments like that- how to make someone feel bad at the worst possible time! Grrrrr! Being pregnant is the one time we should embrace and celebrate any body changes knowing that it is nature's amazing way of looking after the baby! <stamps around muttering about insensitive OHs for a bit then sits down to enjoy a biscuit>

Congratulations nannyl! Come back and let us know how you are getting on! smile

minipie Thu 22-Sep-11 11:57:09

bebe me too! I have just lost a long post angry. So sorry to hear about your DH's PA, poor her. What is it that is making your current situation rocky? And anyway, I think that factors in favour of TTCing now (we need an acronym for that! FIFOT?) can definitely outweigh some instability/rockiness - after all, there is never a perfect time to have a baby is there.

SPR I'm with your DH on this one (albeit he could have been a bit more tactful I guess!) It's good that you are gaining weight and good that he cares about your health rather than your slimness... I have heard of some awful DHs who are critical when their wives gain weight during pg sad

Quod the childcare sharing discussion is an interesting one, isn't it. At the moment I and DH both work long hours and something is going to have to change post DC if we ever want to see our DC and each other. We have discussed it - at length! - and tentatively agreed that post DC he will carry on in his job and I will look for a job with more regular hours so I can get home for the DC. In an ideal world we would share the childcare equally (and the feminist in me is screaming that our agreement is unfair). However, if we both took more family friendly jobs, we'd be a lot worse off financially. Plus he earns a lot more, and he can't change to a less demanding job as easily as I can. So... looks like we'll be falling into the traditional female/male roles, which I'm not all that happy about, even if in practice it suits us. Can you tell I'm quite conflicted about all this? smile

Would be very interested to hear what others intend to do re childcare/sharing responsibilities with their DHs/DPs.

Quodlibet Thu 22-Sep-11 12:04:30

Strawberry I agree with your point but it's so hard to get egalitarian principles to match up to circs in real life. Whilst DP is very enlightened and massively supportive of my career, and in theory supports the 50/50 idea, the circumstances are that if his stuff does well this year, he will be cresting a wave and will most likely be earning waaay more than me, hopefully enough to support us both if I'm having mat leave (I won't get any maternity pay bar MA). He's also the centrepin of his venture, whereas I co-run my company and we share workload much more evenly. So there's potential for me to step back and scale down and still remain integral to my company, whereas if he cut back his commitment to any significant degree the whole thing would collapse. On the plus side we are both probably a lot more flexible than most people so could juggle our respective workloads and a child more easily than a lot of people, and I reckon with a combination of tag-teaming, shifting things, downscaling slightly and getting some childcare to top up we could manage something approaching good parenting and intact careers (!) but I am preparing myself for the probability that there will be lots of negotiating priorities. In short, we probably won't know how to work it out til we get there - but I do feel like we should agree some basic principles first! <phew>

Yeah - can we have the egg white story please?!?!?

RE: The Childcare issue, I am probably not going to be much help as I am the complete opposite to you! I wanted to give up work when we got married and become a full time housewife but DH was not keen on the idea and thought I should have a few more years of work.

Now I am PG I have negotiated a minimum of a year off work and then he has said that I should do something between DC1 and planned DC2. I'm not coming back here though so am either going to retrain and set up something myself or try and find a "nice" PA role that I can do part time.

Quodlibet Thu 22-Sep-11 12:12:54

Haha Minipie xposted with you. Yes I feel lots of the same conflictedness! I want it to be taken into account that my career is more flexible than his because I have consciously structured it that way with half an eye on having kids in the future (have been making our company 'parent friendly' for years!) whereas he has just gone hell for leather on his, which is what allows his career to be at the peak that it is - I think lots of couples 'find' themselves in similar situations and there is a danger that the woman's career never recovers. I'm hoping that it will all work itself out in the long run.

I am secretly hoping that he'll love having a housewife and say I don;t have to go back to work....... here's hoping smile

Quodlibet Thu 22-Sep-11 12:21:44

The other thing is that we never know how we're going to feel once it all happens - I've known people who thought they wanted to be SAHMs who found it drove them bonkers and career-women who suddenly found they didn't give a crap anymore!

SPR have you managed to sort things out at your work so you don't get landed with the fallout of the under-staffing?

WhyWait Thu 22-Sep-11 12:21:48

Sorry for the x-posts earlier.

Quod your work/careers sound so complicated! Thanks for the link - I'll have a look!

My current career is no-existent as I was made redundant and took the money-so I won't be able to go back to the civil service anytime soon. If you remember I was wanting to be a primary school teacher. I just wonder about the practicalities of doing a PGCE with a little one, so will branch out and look at other career options that would allow me to work with children but also spend as much time as possible at home - at the moment I'm wondering about childminding. It is a complete nightmare tho, and options are so expensive!

If you want a giggle I would advise these two vids...warning: they do contain babies!

this is my fav

minipie Thu 22-Sep-11 12:23:27

Ah SPR, see I'm sort of the reverse - I'm worried I'll end up having to be a SAHM because DH won't do any of the childcare and will leave it all to me! I think I'd love being at home for a year or two, but after that I would want to work again, and if I take any longer off than mat leave it will be hard to get back in.

WhyWait Thu 22-Sep-11 12:23:37

I can deffo recommend being a SAHM (or mum to be in my case) I think it works well for me coz I have loads of friends at the moment who are on mat leave, so I can be sociable during the week!

Quodlibet Thu 22-Sep-11 12:26:54

The other thing is that we never know how we're going to feel once it all happens - I've known people who thought they wanted to be SAHMs who found it drove them bonkers and career-women who suddenly found they didn't give a crap anymore!

SPR have you managed to sort things out at your work so you don't get landed with the fallout of the under-staffing?

Quodlibet Thu 22-Sep-11 12:27:57


bebeballroom Thu 22-Sep-11 12:44:47

Right, take 3!!

WW - At least our friend knows now that she can get pregnant, having been told her chances of ever having children were less than 20%! Here's hoping that when she is settled & in a good relationship she will in the future be able to try again.
Try being on all fours a bit, gives baby more wriggle room apparently! hmm

Quod - I have no advice I'm afraid. We only got so far as to work out that me going back to work at all was not going to be financially worthwhile. I didn't have a career though, just a job that I hated!! grin I like being a SAHM, but I am a bit rubbish at housework. Quite good at being a mummy I guess & I think I'm a pretty good cook!! grin I think you can only plan so far, you just don't know what the future will hold or how you will feel when you 'get there'. If your work would be more flexible than your DHs then it may well just work out that the majority of the childcare will be in your hands. I have to say, my DH is pretty rubbish at making decisions re:childcare! BUT he's a great Daddy & DD adores him. I never imagined my life would be like this!

100 - You should be so proud of your boobs!! grin Edith is clearly a very clever little girl doing all that growing! I was looking at DDs red book (checking on when her next jabs are) and at 11days old she was 7oz below birthweight! (Also discovered that she was 1oz lighter at birth than I thought!! Ooops! blush) Glad you are feeling better & that whatever the bug was has now buggered off. smile

SPR - Fingers crossed that you can be a SAHM! wink I bet you are counting down the hours til you can leave your job?! Have you made arrangements/spoken to them about not having a ridiculous work load?

I'm off on holiday tomorrow, feeling rubbish & full of cold! sad TTC would be off the cards for me for the next couple of months anyway (trying to avoid specific dates) so I'm going to leave it a while to bring it up with DH again. Let the dust settle & hopefully things will start picking up again!

Apologies if I've missed anything/anyone, was trying to remember what I said before plus adding on other stuff! Brain too full of cold to hold too much information!!

WhyWait Thu 22-Sep-11 13:55:31

Fish finger sandwiches - yummy!!!!

(sorry- just had to share my addition!)

The job stuff is all a bit odd at the moment!!

My line manager (who is leaving) spoke to me last week and said that from now on I would be handling events for the business unit (something I have had a lot of experience with, enjoy and am, if I do say so myself, quite good at) It means I can work from home and won't have to take on a whole heap of PA stuff or deal with the crappy workload.

However....... HR (who you may remember are not my favourite department after their inability to keep my personal information personal) have yet to advise me of my new job title. Today the HR Director had a very cryptic phone call with me this afternoon to tell me that one of the HR people was on their way to me for our meeting (nobody told me!!) and that he didn't want to reveal anything before she had spoken to me but that it was very positive and exciting.... blah blah blah. She was at Swindon and hoping to get to Bristol before the end of the day but if not then she would meet with me next week...... So I really have no clue as to what my job is or is going to be........ Bunch of fucking jokers!!

Bebe - you are clearly an excellent cook and mummy judging by all the pics of yummy food stuffs and lovely outings with DD. I really hope that I can be as successful at motherhood as you clearly are! grin

WW- Fishfinger Sandwiches.....? Really? grin

bebeballroom Thu 22-Sep-11 15:23:27

SPR - You just made me cry! Thank you! smile I'm sure you will be a fabulous Mummy too! smile

How cryptic of HR hmm You would think that since it is about you they could at least let you know what it was regarding! How difficult is it to give someone a job title?!

WW - I LOVE fish finger sandwiches, they are one of my comfort foods. (Along with banana custard, Butterscotch Angel Delight (guilty pleasure that one) and mashed potato with gravy) I especially love them with lots of vinegar & ketchup! Yum yum yum!! grin

Quodlibet Thu 22-Sep-11 15:32:54

Bebe I'd say the same as SPR - the thought, care and love you put into your family is really inspiring. I don't know if you read Kelle Hampton's blog but the sentiment reminded me of this post which I really liked.

Right, round of applause for me for finishing my daunting planning for the university module I start teaching next week <gulp>.

On the list for today is 'go for a run'. Then I reckon that I too am due some fish finger sarnies later.

bebeballroom Thu 22-Sep-11 15:58:10

Thanks Quod, I'm feeling all emotional! That blog makes perfect sense. It is a never ending race.

It's a lot harder with a toddler IMO, there is SO much more to do, SO much more input required! As much as I can leave DD to do things for herself, she wants to be involved & has opinions on everything!! It really does make it harder to get things done! It's a good reason to not have another baby til DD is at school...a toddler and a baby at home might tip me over the edge! (But don't tell DH I said that wink)

Ahhhh - loving the Thursday afternoon love in on the thread!!

Had the meeting and it's exactly what I was told last week..... hmm There was a mention that I would also be PA to the HR Director but I have politely told them "No" as I can't bear him and there is no way on earth I would willingly work for him!

I am a happy bunny now that I know what I am doing smile

I LOVE comfort food. Mine is:
Saussages, mash and gravy
Steak pie and mushy peas
macaroni cheese

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm grin

bebeballroom Thu 22-Sep-11 17:44:16

Ooooh Good News then?!!

Roll on Friday & my holiday! grin Feeling pretty rubbish, so I think an early night might be on the cards...although doubt it'll happen!

WhyWait Fri 23-Sep-11 10:19:56

Bebe hope you have a good holiday and feel okay!!

yep - good news!!

Had my 16 week appointment and hear the heartbeat this morning too so all good on that front smile

Bebe - hope that you have a fab week away and that minibebe isn't too poorly to enjoy herself.

<Looks impatiently in AC's direction and begins chant> EGG WHITE EGG WHITE EGG WHITE!!!

AmandaCooper Fri 23-Sep-11 14:58:24

Wow can't believe how much i have missed! You guys have clearly all got far too much time on your hands!. I'll have to catch up later!


AmandaCooper Fri 23-Sep-11 16:27:29

Oh bog off I'm at work! grin


MrsSatsuma Sat 24-Sep-11 01:29:53

Ditto AC's earlier comment! Busy week but have been reading - will post later!

AmandaCooper Sat 24-Sep-11 11:15:57

Ok so a few years ago I ordered this thing off the Internet called a pee mate that's basically a tool that women can use to pee standing up.  It's a long rigid tube with a funnel end that you position over your fanjo to catch the pee.

Anyway it seemed like just the thing to use to channel the egg white up where I needed it, so I whisked up an egg white in a jug, decanted a bit into a shot glass (DH in the bedroom all this time probably wondering what's going on) and then lay back on the sofa, popped the wrong end of the pee mate into the target area and poured in the mixture.

Got up to head back to the bedroom only to have it all gush out all over my nightie and dressing gown, all down my legs and over the sofa and the floor.

Jumped up, whipped off my nightie and dressing gown and chucked them in the washing machine, wiped all the whisked egg white off my legs and off the floor, shouted cheerily to DH "won't be a minute!" and started again with another shot glass of egg white.

This time lay down completely on the floor naked with my hips in the air as though doing the bicycle, and pushed the pee mate all the way in.  Christ only knows what DH would have thought if he'd come to see what I was up to and found me, shot glass in hand pouring an egg into my funnel.

Anyway so I tipped in the whisked egg white and tentatively stood up.  Success!  Shuffled awkwardly back to the bedroom and engaged DH in very quick How's your father?, all the time wildly trying to distract his attention from the egg white mess congealing on his stomach and going squelch, squelch, squelch in a non too attractive way.

DH of course spots nothing amiss and completes the deed as though nothing is happening, not even curious later on when I am peeling flakes of egg off my thighs.   

By the time I actually ovulated over a week later, he'd called the whole thing off again. Nothing to do with the egg - as far as I know anyway!

AmandaCooper Sat 24-Sep-11 11:18:07

TBT is off completely by the way. Apparently DH "doesn't like holidays".

Quodlibet Sat 24-Sep-11 11:29:14

Christalive that is hilarious. It's like something that should belong in the sequel to 'Bridesmaids'. Thanks for sharing.

It's amazing how blithely clueless they can be isn't it?

Sorry to hear TBT is off. Surely though if he doesn't like holidays then there's now no need to schedule TBT before TTC? Or would that be too logical? What do you want to do?

AmandaCooper Sat 24-Sep-11 11:32:27

Oh I don't know, Quod. Maybe leave the crazy bastard to it and move on?

Quodlibet Sat 24-Sep-11 12:06:26

That must be a very very hard thing to be thinking about.

bebeballroom Sat 24-Sep-11 12:46:49

AC egg story is very funny, how erm...inventive!

Why has your DH decided that he doesn't like holidays? I thought TBT was his idea?! His behaviour is complete erratic & unreasonable IMO, do u think there are deeper 'issues'? Has he given a proper rational reason for not wanting to do TBT? <hugs>

Oh AC. U actually laughed out loud at your story. Very inventive and eggcellent dedication to the cause!!

DH cancelling TBT because he "doesn't like holidays" sounds a bit odd. It sounds as though he's not being 100% honest about what he wants and it's no wonder you're having thoughts about the marriage.

I hope you get to the bottom of it and soon

WhyWait Sat 24-Sep-11 15:31:01

grin AC that story is brilliant! My DH was wondering what was going on for me to be laughing so

Sorry to here TBT is off, I'm really confused with what your DH wants? I guess you are too. Hope things becomes a bit clearer soon!

minipie Mon 26-Sep-11 10:27:58

Oh that is brilliant AC <weeps quietly with laughter> There is definitely some sort of comedy movie to be made about this whole TTCing business.

Pre-seed comes with little syringes for getting it in the right place - bit easier than a she wee and a shot glass! Still feels a bit absurd though.

Now, about your DH sad. WTF is he playing at? What is his explanation for having banged on about TBT and now doing a U turn? What does he think you are supposed to do - go on holidays on your own forever? Gah. Hope you can bludgeon get some sense out of him soon.

AmandaCooper Mon 26-Sep-11 12:49:29

Well I have just been informed that ANOTHER woman in our team is pregnant. She's already had one baby while I've been waiting, so why not a-bloody-nother? <glares hard at everyone in the thread in case they should dare to consider number 2> lol

Oh God - you have got to have the most fertile office in the country. HOw fucking irritating!

AmandaCooper Mon 26-Sep-11 13:25:18

Oh and DH broke down on Saturday night and told me that he didn't feel up to the responsibility of being a parent and being the sole provider and that he wants to have two children but he's too frightened and what if they got hurt or sick or died, and what if he lost his job when his wife and child were relying on him to look after them - and he knows how much it means to me but he can't bring himself to do it, even though he's scared of losing me.

He also said the reason he put off the holiday is because he imagined it being this incredible once in a lifetime experience that we both worked towards and planned and he desperately doesn't want to compromise on it because we won't get that chance again.

AmandaCooper Mon 26-Sep-11 13:28:24

Now is it just me or would it have been much better for everyone just to have explained how he felt in the first place? Is there an exasperated emoticon?

AmandaCooper Mon 26-Sep-11 13:40:09

Sorry I haven't replied to everyone btw I'll get on to it tonight.

minipie Mon 26-Sep-11 14:10:51

Wow AC. Gosh. At least you are now getting to the real heart of how he feels (assuming you do think this is real, but it sounds like you do). And at least he does actually want to have children smile <phew emoticon>.

So where do you go from here? Is it a question of convincing him that his fears are unfounded and/or that his fears are perfectly rational but that it's worth having DC anyway?


AmandaCooper Mon 26-Sep-11 16:49:34

Well I didn't know what to do next, so I've booked Relate. It can't hurt, right?

Wow AC- difficult to know what to say. I think his given reasons are things that we all worry about but that can never be overcome- even if you win the lottery and become totally financially secure how can you prevent the worrying about 'bad things' happening? Everyone worries about things but if you let that stop you doing things you would not live a very fulfilling life surely? (This ranting is directed at him btw, not you obviously!)

Also you are a partnership- why does he think all the responsibility will be on his shoulders? You are the major breadwinner anyway aren't you? Even if the worst happened and he lost his job surely he could be a SAHD and you could continue to work? (If you wanted to of course) How does he think everyone else copes???? Arrghhhh!!!

If he truly would like two children then he needs to get over his concerns somehow in an active way (counselling?) for your sake as it is not fair to just keep you hanging on!

Having said all that- good for him for speaking openly with you about it and hopefully this can start a dialogue and you can win him round with all your logical counter-arguments. (major FX)

sorry- x-posted- excellent idea to do relate.

MrsSatsuma Mon 26-Sep-11 17:24:05

AC, we should get our husbands in the same room and bang their heads together! Mine can't see how having kids'll change things and that it'll all be easy as pie. Clearly they both need to take a leaf out of the other's book to even up the balance!!

AmandaCooper Mon 26-Sep-11 17:25:20

Strawberry no he is the major breadwinner by a long way, but having said that, even if he lost his job my wage would cover all our outgoings as long as we tightened our belts - and to take up the discussion you were having at the end of last week, I would imagine that I would want to get back to work at least part time fairly quickly. I pointed out to him that we can get life insurance and income protection insurance to give us some peace of mind, and that our families could help us out if the worst comes to the worst.

It's so unlike him to be like this, he is normally stupidly over-confident and quite a risk taker.

AmandaCooper Mon 26-Sep-11 17:26:18

Mrs S, great idea! Your DH is probably nearer the mark, from the man's point of view not much seems to change, if you listen to others' stories.

Well done for booking relate AC. It's a really good idea to talk these things through with a 'mediator' who can be totally impartial.

Think I said everything in my PM but massive un-MN hugs and well done for being so strong.

minipie Mon 26-Sep-11 18:12:24

Relate does sound like a good idea. At the very least, the fact you have booked Relate will prove how serious you think this is. And perhaps making him explain his position to a third person will make him realise how [insert word here] he is being?

You sound impressively calm on here. Hope you are ok in RL. <adds hugs to SPR's>

bebeballroom Mon 26-Sep-11 20:00:11

Oh AC sad I am reading & sending hugs, but am on my phone so can't reply properly! Hope u are as ok as u can be! At least he is starting to be honest xx

Quodlibet Mon 26-Sep-11 20:42:13

AC that sounds like a bit of a breakthrough to me - him being honest about his fears, and you booking Relate. Here's hoping you crash through some barriers and start coming to a consensus.

It's so strange how we all construct the world around our own perspective isn't it? We've got no financial stability at all but that's not on my DP's concerns list (his is full of other illogical stuff).

I've got a feeling the TTC in November ain't going to happen over here...DP's got too much on his plate to talk about it at the moment, and I've come to the realisation that actually I don't want to have to convince him, I want him to want to do it as much as I do - otherwise I feel like I'm setting it up to be my career that cops it. So I'm trying to sit back and wait for him to be forthcoming rather than going after him about it all.

I've also realised (and this is very odd because my whole life up until quite recently I never thought it was important to me) that I'd like us to get married. confused I'm starting to wonder if I'm just generally wanting more from him, IYSWIM? I feel a bit like a bit old cliche.

(sorry, self indulgent rant over)

How is everyone else? 100 how have the early days been going? WhyWait what have you still got left to sort or are you done now (you are so organised!)

100years Mon 26-Sep-11 22:31:33

Hi folks. Sorry I've gone a bit AWOL, still reading through but dog tired and so trying to just rest when I can so that means replying and posting taking a nose dive.

LO has been on a feeding frenzy and not sleeping as well at night as she was so I'm a bit whoa at the moment. Loving it but trying to get used to the less sleep. I used to be a proper sleep monster, no chance now, but I will get used to it and she'll calm down again soon smile

She's now 1lb over her birth weight at 17 days so feeding really well. My episiotomy bodge is getting better smile

Sorry we've had more DH trouble in the thread sad

AC I hope relate works, sometimes that outside help works wonders.

Sorry for not mentioning everyone personally. I'm on my phone and so it's diff to check back on it all.

AmandaCooper Tue 27-Sep-11 08:34:55

Quod I feel exactly the same about wanting it to be a joint decision with him coming round to it on his own. I wish I was a bit younger. I think I'll cop it career wise either way though, I can't see it making a difference how committed DH was to the TTC plan when it comes to his career or mine. Do you really think it will make a difference?

I don't care what anyone says about marriage being just a piece of paper. I love being married and am so glad we did it. I love being DH's DW. If that's important to you, you need to make it happen.

100years it's lovely to hear from you! The lost sleep must be awful, our cat's been poorly and crying in the night and it's done my head in. I was like a zombie by Friday and then he slept through on Friday night and it was BLISS!

I hope Relate does work. DH seemed really crushed when I said I'd booked it sad.

AmandaCooper Tue 27-Sep-11 08:40:16

Thanks for the hugs, all of you.

Those of you who have been/are pg, how ridiculous would it be to do TBT while pg, say 24 weeks or so?

I think it's a positive thing and your DH is probably just seeing the need for Relate as a sign of failure (which it's not at all) as men can be a bit like that.

WRT TBT when diffed.... It really depends on the individual. I personally could not cope with a long haul flight right now but may feel better by 24 weeks. I'm also a bit spoiled after my last 2 long haul flights being business and I really think I'd struggle to go long haul in economy now (I'm not as spoiled as that makes me sound!!! it's all airmiles)

I absolutely love being married. I'm also quite old fashioned and come from a very traditional family so there was no way I'd consider starting a family without marriage. Its a really personal thing though and what is really important to some people isn't to others.


Quodlibet Tue 27-Sep-11 09:32:31

AC I wish I was a bit younger too (I'm 32 next month so very close behind you). I think our careers are a bit different to yours though because you have less guesswork - you know how much you'll earn each year, whereas ours are really unpredictable. Plus we could theoretically decide who was going to do childcare by the week or even the day according to what projects we have on IYSWIM, meaning that who compromises over work could possibly be a constant negotiation rather than one strategic decision if that makes sense.

I wonder if your DH looks crushed about Relate because it means he's going to have to face up to his fears rather than finding ingenious ways to deflect them? I reckon it's going to be a really really positive thing smile

Thanks for the marriage insights...we've both said that we definitely want to be married to each other at some point in the future, but I always get the sense when we talk about it that he'd actually like to reserve the right to do the proposing thing in some sort of romantic-surprise manner, despite my feminist inclinations! So I kind of feel like it's another thing I can't make happen, and dammit once again he's holding all the cards!

I realised this morning that all these things come to the surface for me when he's away a lot - I think it activates my need for 'more' of him plus an inevitable level of insecurity (he works in a field where he's likely to get a lot of female attention when away from home/working, and although he's an unbelievably loyal man and the most unlikely person ever to be unfaithful, that dynamic is obviously annoying!)

100 glad your epi is sorting itself out.

minipie Tue 27-Sep-11 10:40:10

100 don't worry about being a bit absent, it is totally understandable, you must be shattered! Glad things are sorting themselves down under and that your LO is growing well.

AC re TBT while pg, I have no direct experience obv, but from my reading of these boards, it seems like different people can feel completely differently during pg. Some declare they felt the healthiest ever, others had hyperemesis or SPD. So I'd say it may be possible... but best not to book anything until you get more of a clue what kind of pg you are getting. Re Relate - when is your appointment? I think the fact your DH seemed crushed shows he realises how serious it is, so a good sign in a way. You wouldn't want him to be brushing it off as not serious... I really really do hope you can get some sense and decisiveness out of him.

Quod I also know what you mean about wanting you to both want it rather than you doing the pushing. Having said that though... I was definitely the one pushing to start TTC, DH wanted to wait longer - however after a few months of unsuccessful TTC, and several more friends announcing they are pg, DH has become much much more keen. At the weekend we were at a wedding, he told me out of the blue that he'd be really excited if I was pg smile. So I guess what I'd say is, keenness may well increase during the TTC/pg phase...

As regards the impact on career, hmm, I think this is mainly about being firm in insisting it's 50/50 once the DC arrive, and not falling accidentally into the standard male/female roles, rather than about who was pushing for TTCing more.

So, marriage eh? Well I'd definitely recommend it smile. My DH also wanted to be the one to propose in trad fashion ... but I didn't see why the timing should all be down to him. My solution was to tell him that if he didn't propose by X date, I would propose to him instead. So in effect, he got to be the one to propose, but I got to have a say in the timing...

WhyWait Tue 27-Sep-11 16:03:06

AC I agree with everyone, I think booking relate was a really good idea. It's a shame that DH is a bit worried but I think it'll help DH realise that this is really important and that it can effect your relationship. (hugs!)
I went on holiday at 17 wks and felt really good (although I've had a really easy pregnancy!) I was starting to get tired at 24 wks, and you might find it difficult to fly and get insurance that far into your pregnancy. I found the flight the most uncomfortable (and the heat a close second) but you'll have a feeling about what is best to do!

Can't remember who asked, but we are deffo getting there with the organisation- I am addicted to ebay! - bought a gro swaddle - bidding on another one, also won some sock ons for 2.69 - normally 6 quid in mothercare (plus they're brand new-I only buy brand new from ebay as I can't see the quality) also got two fitted sheets in lemon from ebay for 6.99!!!!
MIL is buying a jungle gym! SIL is buying a baby monitor, so now only need a couple of fitted sheets for moses basket, new MB mattress, breast pump, bouncer, and some more muslin cloths and baby towels. I've got two friends who babies arrived early- one at 37 weeks and one at 32wks - so determined to be ready by end of October.

Can't remember who mentioned marriage - but I have to say I love being married!! It's not even about having the same name (as I double barrelled but DH didn't) We had been together 5 years when we got married although I was only 24- we got alot of comments about 'being too young' but 3yrs in we're doing fab! I deffo felt like once we were married things were different - it was like somewhere I knew DH would never leave me. Plus we go to church so getting married - for us, was the 'right' thing to do.

So I had a nightmare evening - was sick twice, and felt awful! Ended up sleeping on the sofa as it was where I was most comfy and knew I wouldn't disturb DH (who's coming down with a cold). Still feel a washed out and tired today- but feel really guilty that my poor baby boy had no idea what was going on and has nothing to eat sad

Quodlibet Wed 28-Sep-11 17:57:04

Minipie that's an excellent solution, maybe I'll have to try that! We're going to another wedding next weekend so there'll be plenty of wedding chat on the horizon.

WhyWait sorry you've been sick...didn't 100 go through a throwing up phase towards the end too?

SPR we need a pg update from you - what's new in your world? Have you stopped having MS now?

100years Fri 30-Sep-11 17:46:03

Right I'll try catch up but it's a phone catch up so not as good.

Re TBT when diffed we went away for a week when I was 26 weeks and it was about that time that my pelvic pain had started, the week away was relaxed and we didn't do a huge amount, I personally wouldn't have wanted to do a bigger trip/more stuff at that point, but that's me and I was suffering a bit at the time.

Yes I did start getting sick again towards the end of pregnancy but it wasn't too bad and quite infrequent compared to how I started.

Re marriage, I'm very keen to get married and would like it to be in the year I'm off work as it means no worrying about booking time off and being married sooner, however it's lots of work to sort out, and lots of money unless we go budget, and we also need to have the (and I'll whisper this for not wanting to be shot by some) when are we having number 2 chat because I don't want to be diffed at the wedding! So it's a case of timing.

She's settled down somewhat again smile but I'm ready for the next growth spurt/feeding frenzy! But it's fricking awesome being a mum and family smile

I braved a 50 mile each way journey today just me and Edith to go an see family smile clever mummy

Can't believe Edith is 3weeks old now! Time bloody flies by smile it's all visiting, being visited and feeding ooh and some sleeping at times. But I think I'm doing ok and starting to get a bit of routine in the day, wake feed express shower feed nappy feed lunch for me feed snooze etc. That's if I'm at home! OH has fed her too with my milk smile which is lovely for me, but mostly Edith and daddy to have daddy time smile just glad I am express for him to do it.

bebeballroom Mon 03-Oct-11 08:32:33

I'm back!! Well, got back Saturday & have been recovering! Think I might have a bit of a bug! sad


AC - How are you doing? Have you been to relate yet? How was it? FWIW I think you did the right thing. <big hugs>

Can't remember who asked blush but being married is not what I thought....but then we have had a pretty rough ride of it the last 4 years! We moved house in May 2007, found out I was pregnant in Nov 2007, got married in December 2007, had DD in August 2008, found out I had MS in December 08, DH had a 'breakdown' in March/April 09, his business subsequently went in the pooper & we have been trying to fight back ever since! So not the best start to married life, obviously DD was a big highlight but didn't come at a good time for us. DH works in the financial sector & all this happened just as the 'credit crunch' hit! Not good! All that being said, I don't think that our lives would have been any less stressful had we not been married IYSWIM! Moving house, getting married & having a baby within 15months was horrendous! But hey, live and learn!! Pros of being married...I feel a bit more secure in our relationship (not that DH is the type to cheat or swan off at the drop of a hat). I feel like people take me more seriously & treat me better! I know that sounds awful & probably not really a pro confused, but I look quite young & people generally treated me like a teenager alot of the time...especially when I was pregnant (even though I was married then)! hmm (I got asked for ID when with my mum on holiday! I'm 30 next year!) But being married doesn't give me a warm fuzzy married inner glow! Not any more!! Probably a bit more jaded than I should be after a little less than 4 years of marriage! hmm So all this waffling isn't really that helpful is it?! All this being said, I wouldn't not want to be married!!

bebeballroom Mon 03-Oct-11 14:35:25

My Internet has gone all weird!!! Oooo errrr!

Realised I had been a bit negative and depressing this morning, sorry bout that! I do love being married...honest!!

100-very brave doing that big journey on your own! Well done! Glad little E is doing well, how are you doing now?

Hi All!!

Sounds like everybody enjoyed the weekend weather! Even though it was lovely it was nice to walk up this morning to it being a bit cooler as I've been overheating a bit. Especially in my crappy office with no aircon and full of sweaty men!!

So........ Diff/life update from me:

- The sickness has decreased a lot and now I just have mild nausea and then the odd day of feeling really awful.
- I've started putting on weight and am now sporting a very little bump!!
- Have done the maternity wear purchase and am loving my new clothes (thank you topshop for allowing me to look like me with a bump rather than a frumpy middle aged fat woman!!!)
- I think I might have felt MiniSPR giving me a few nudges and kicks but am not 100% sure yet......
- MiniSPR has had his/her first pressies from Dsis and DM - bless!
- DH is now on 3 months gardening leave and so living at home which is lovely (I might get bored of him before the end of the year but it's nice for now!!!)
- we still have no idea where we are going to be living come March.......!

Think that's everything......! grin

bebeballroom Tue 04-Oct-11 15:38:08

SPR - Have I missed something, why is your DH on gardening leave & why might you have to move?! Sorry if it's already been talked about, my brain is struggling to retain info at the moment!!

V exciting about possible movements, how many weeks are you now?

He has been made redundant. I think it's probably a good thing though as he was quite unhappy there and they have put him on 3 months gardening leave and will pay him a lump sum at the end of gardening leave which is tax free and equivalent to 6 months salary. Means we won't loose out financially which is key at the moment!!

They have asked him for a proposal to work on a deal on a consultancy basis so hopefully that will be accepted and he can get some extra cash in that way. He's not allowed to work in a related field until Jan but will probably start looking sooner. Fingers crossed!!!

Hopefuly we'll be able to stay in Bath but if his work dictates then we may have to sell up and move back to the big smoke. Neither option is bad though so whatever happens will be fine. It just has a bit of an impact on my maternity care!!!

Yes - v.v.v.v.v exciting about the movements! Am 17+3 today and can't wait ofr my next scan!!!

Are you having a better day today?

bebeballroom Tue 04-Oct-11 16:59:26

Sounds like things are actually working out well then. If he was unhappy it's probably a blessing in disguise IYKWIM?!

Have you decided whether or not to find out sex at next scan? Probably are movents, I could feel DD from 14 weeks, but that's coz I was in bed & very still all the time! Felt like I was being tickled on the inside! grin

Not feeling much more positive today. Don't think the change in the weather & the grey outside is helping me today though!!

Yes - all for the best.

Having a bit of a crap day today as didn't sleep very well and when I woke up in the night I had cramps and a stabbing pain. Called my MW who has advised I go to my GP to get checked out to make sure it's nothing to worry about.

Still probably not going to find out the sex at the scan. Funny that you first felt DD when you were lying in bed one morning very still. I was exactly the same!!

Got to leave work early for my GP appointment but the pain is quite hard to ignore at the moment and so I am tempted to go now rather than wait until 2:30......

bebeballroom Wed 05-Oct-11 12:19:26

SPR, go & get it checked, it's far better to check it out (even if you end up feeling silly for worrying afterwards IYKWIM?!) <hugs> FX it's nothing major x

Thanks Bebe

Am home now with my feet up and going to chill out until my appointment this afternoon. Am sure everything is fine but as you said, best to get checked out!!
How're you today?

bebeballroom Wed 05-Oct-11 13:10:20

Not too bad today, although feeling a bit sad after visiting the school we want DD to go to & it actually sinking in that in less than 12 months she will be at school!! My baby!!! sad Made worse by the fact that she didn't want to leave & told me to leave her behind coz she wanted to stay at school for ever & ever! <sob> sad wink Lets hope she is that keen next September!!

Glad you are taking it easy. Let us all know how you get on x

Oh Bless her!!! It's great that she is so excited about school though.

All ok at Dr's just ligaments so been told to not do too much lifting etc and take it easy. I'm following instructions and WFH today which si great as I am getting tons done (anod not just on MN!!!)

bebeballroom Thu 06-Oct-11 12:14:20

I'm pleased that she wants to go...and that she has none of the stress of application forms! Feeling very confused and a little bit teary with the stress of it all! Need to get a grip!! <gives self hefty slap round the face!!>

Glad it was nothing too serious. Hopefully you can get DH to wait on you hand and foot?! grin

Oh God - I can only imagine how much paperwork there is to fill in. What a nightmare!

Am already moving into weekend mode over here. TFI Friday on a massive scale! Not loving being in the office today but at least we have a nice weekend planned smile

What is everybody else up to?

bebeballroom Fri 07-Oct-11 12:59:18

No massive plans here. (Except stressing over school admissions) Going out with DD in the morning tomorrow (to avoid DH & the rugby...might stay out all day if England lose) then have cakes and things to make. Probably go to church on Sunday, need to talk to the vicar (school application relatedsad).

What lovely things do you have planned?

MrsSatsuma Fri 07-Oct-11 18:06:30

Hello! Glad your dd liked school bebe. Maybe you can get your cake business off the ground when she's there, though? SPR exciting about kicks and glad everything turned out to be okay.

I have issues going on... Will update later... But see my thread a couple of weeks ago in relationships for an idea. Agh. sad

100years Fri 07-Oct-11 22:21:06

SPR glad that nothing serious was wrong when you went to the docs, take it nice and easy.

Bebe, hope the school apps go well, and yes I bet it must be sad to think of your LO growing up and going off to school.

MrsS, not looked at other thread, but have a WIIT hug.

LO is now 4 weeks and a whopping 8lb5oz, which is 1lb12 up from birth weight, she's obviously taking in enough of my milk and growing really well. She's still very placid and chilled out, other than when she is mega hungry or mega windy, talking of wind we;ve started trying infacol to help her a bit, but I'm not convinced it's working and she's been more sick since she has been on it, think I'll try the gripe water we have, but can't do that till one month, which is sunday, it's just not nice seeing her squirm about in discomfort with the wind.

Loving being a mum and all that it entails, the tiredness is mostly OK and although today I'm feeling a bit meh about being tired it's only due to a few busy days, no day time naps for me and a couple of long wakings in the middle of the night on the past two nights. Had 2 short naps today which was good and hoping for a decent night tonight, we shall see.

bebeballroom Sat 08-Oct-11 12:09:58

100 - DD was a windy baby. Have you tried lying her on your lap/floor/sofa & bicycling her legs? Also rubbing belly gently in a clockwise motion can help if her tummy is a bit bloated. Sure you have tried things, but those worked well with DD. Also found infacol a bit useless, Gripe water ditto! confused But worth a go, every baby is different! x

100years Sun 09-Oct-11 14:15:26

Yeah bebe, done the bicycling legs, belly rubbing, on tummy across our legs patting back. She seems mostly settled, just occasionally the wind jumps up and gets her. Had a massive massive poo explosion yesterday, it was Tuesday last time she went so she was brewing it up for us. total strip down, clean off then bath for her, she loves the bath, happy as larry in the bath and kicking and gurgling away. Even her bouncy chair fabric has had to be washed to get rid of the poo! Oh well.

She's been making proper happy noises now, it's so so cute, I love it.

Just been for a run too smile Woohoo, enjoyed it. Hard, but not like it was last year. Realised I'm over 3 stone lighter than I was this time last year, that's due to the HG at beginning of pregnancy and losing 2 stone by 16 weeks, and only putting 13lbs of it back on, and then losing that plus more post birth smile My clothes are falling down, need to go shopping!

Quodlibet Tue 11-Oct-11 13:41:46

Hello all, hope you're all well.

I'm back from a mammoth week away which included a birthday in Italy and a wedding in Cornwall! Feel like I've only just caught up with myself. Poor DP had to pack another bag as soon as we got home and has gone off again for a whole week sad This is the final week of his mammoth month of being away 75% of the time so I'm trying to focus on that.

100 wow, well done you for getting running! Blimey. And 3 stone!! I bet there's not many women for whom pregnancy works that way.

Bebe it must be really tear-jerky thinking of sending your little one off to school - but a massive credit to you that she seems so independent and ready for it

SPR it sounds like a big period of readjustment for you and your DH, I agree the redundancy is a great opportunity to take some time and reposition himself. How are you feeling about a potential house move?

MrsS I read your other thread and hope you're finding things a bit easier. For me, close male friends is totally normal but I suppose it depends on the dynamic of the individual relationship, doesn't it?

<waves to everyone else>

AmandaCooper Tue 11-Oct-11 18:11:15

Hello everybody, just a quick one as I am dropping in from work - never get a chance to get on the computer at home, I'm always so knackered at the end of the day. No movement here so yawn - same old same old.

MrsS I am a bit worried about you hon, there is nothing strange or wrong about having a male friend, but there is obviously something worrying you for you to post about it on here. Maybe keeping a bit of distance with this friend while you sort out your relationship at home wouldn't be a bad thing - and your friend will understand having just been through a break up himself.

Another wow for 100years losing all that weight and running. I don't even run at the best of times, never mind immediately after having a baby. You are clearly quite mad lol. Don't overdo it!

Bebe is she really going to school? I feel like I have known her for so long, she was just a baby when I first came on the waiting thread, where has all the time gone - and why aren't we ttc yet? <more mirthless laughter>

SPR what a lot going on for you, hopefully this will be a chance for a great new start for your family. It must be funny being together all the time when you used to be constantly apart - even dashing back and forth to ttc!

Have we heard anything from Strawberry?

Sorry it's brief and sorry to those I've missed off. Have to run x

100 I am VERY impressed....... <bows down at 100's feet> I keep meaning to start exercising again but I'm so bloody tired at the moment!

AC The work dramas continue over here......on my side this time.

I have a meeting tomorrow with someone from HR following a letter I sent ot the MD on Monday pointing out that I am very unhappy and likely to take action because they have (excuse if this sounds formal - copied and pasted from my letter!!!):

- employed someone else on a medium/long term contract basis to undertake all elements of my role, despite knowing that I would be returning to the role and having been provided with 2 weeks prior notification of my return date.

- not restored me to my role upon my return from sick leave, which was prescribed and certified by my GP and during which my salary was reduced to the minimum statutory level of pay.

-failed to consult with me in order to confirm a new job role and reach a mutually agreed and consented change of terms to my contract - instead expecting me to undertake a number of roles which are not detailed in my job description, despite not having agreed any new responsibilities with me.

- advertised my job role in order to seek a new appointment to my position despite me having returned to work, being fit and able to undertake my duties and wanting to be restored to my role. (I have been informed that the role is due to be posted on the internal website today)

- disclosed highly sensitive personal information to a wide number of employees, which was specifically requested to be kept strictly private and confidential. Such information which is likely to have been used against me by people who should not have been privy to it, when they sought a replacement for the MD's PA, thus restricting my opportunity for promotion and a pay rise. (The role was offered to another employee despite them having already resigned from the company).

As you can see they are totally inept and acting as though employment law doesn't exist!! I really want them to pay me off so I can go now and not take them to court but have a feeling that they will go for the option of giving me my job back. Which is also fine, I guess......

In other more exciting news, I have got my new car (an early birthday pressie from DH) which is super cute!!! grin

Amonstercooper Wed 12-Oct-11 12:35:45

SPR does your employer know you are pregnant?

see my last point......... The HR Director was told when I was off sick and my line manager knows. The HR Director has failed to keep it confidential..... wanker!!!

Quodlibet Wed 12-Oct-11 15:50:11

Blimey SPR that is shocking! Surely they can't have a leg to stand on legally?

That's my hope!!! We will have to wait and see what happens tomorrow smile

bebeballroom Wed 12-Oct-11 16:21:00

Oh gawd SPR!!! shock Not good! Not good at all!!! sad

Massive breach of confidentiality surely?! <clueless emoticon>

Got them over a barrel really, they surely wouldn't want this to go to court, could end up costing them thousands! (Bear in mind I have no actual qualifications at all in this field! wink) Have a big squishy un MN <HUG> Hope you can sort this out, this is stress you don't need!

bebeballroom Wed 12-Oct-11 22:26:31

Just when I thought things here couldn't get any worse DH just lost his last big contract at work today! No idea what's going to happen for us now! Feel a bit sick tbh sad almost certainly means ttc is completely out of the question. In a couple of months food will probably be put of the question too! Sometimes life just really REALLY sucks! sad

Sorry to rant, just needed to vent sad

Oh bebe that is awful. I'm so sorry to hear that he's lost a big contract. I can't remember what he does but have a feeling it is financial.. is that right? It must be such a tough time for anybody in that industry and I can't even begin to imagine the stress and pressure that you are both under at the moment.


bebeballroom Thu 13-Oct-11 10:05:58

Thanks SPR. Yes he does work in the financial sector, but I can't really say what exactly, and it's kind of tricky to explain anyway! There is another area of his business that he hasn't really been focusing on (too busy with the one that's just gone pffft) so hoping that he can resurrect that. DH has invested so much emotionally & financially into the business that I just feel like the whole thing is like a house of cards & we are teetering on the brink of complete collapse. He's trying to put a brave face on it, but I can see he is struggling. All the staff are going to have to be made redundant. Including his brother, his PA (who has worked with him for 6 years) and his dad's PA (who's worked with his dad for 18 years)! It's just such a mess. sad

Just no idea what we are going to do! sad <sigh>

Sorry to wallow, I'm not the only one with problems.

Oh how difficult for them. Making people redundant must be so hard.

I know that it's admitting defeat but is there any way he can leave the business/close the business and either set up on his own or join a bigger firm/provide consultancy to larger firms? Sorry if this seems like a ridiculous idea but I'm not entirely sure of the specifics etc so just thought it was worth mentioning.

It's not wallowing either, these are things that you need to talk about and if the WIITs thread is good for anything it's sharing probelms.


bebeballroom Thu 13-Oct-11 11:37:37

A couple of years ago he was head hunted & turned it down to stick by the company/his dad. The business' are in his name now & his dad is much more hands off these days (heading towards retirement age). The biggest problem with him working for anyone else is that he doesn't drive so he is pretty limited as to where he can work! I'd be devastated if we had to move. We've been here 4 years & I have just started to make friends & DD has friends & is settled into preschool. Plus with the MS I'm really supported here with my GP & consultants etc & I don't want to have to start all over again. I'm trying to find some part time work so I can help ease the burden financially, but there is nothing locally at the moment & with petrol prices the way they are I can't afford to travel too far on a part time wage.

It all just SUCKS!!! Don't know whether to scream or cry!

Oh God! What a nightmare for you both. Is there any way he can learn to drive so that he can open up the areas that he can work in? I can totally understand you not wanting to move having built up such a good support network.

I guess part time work is a good place to start and then see what else comes up.

bebeballroom Thu 13-Oct-11 12:25:16

DH learning to drive <snorts & roars with laughter> on a serious note, bit of a catch 22, he needs to drive in order to open up job possibilities but we need the money from a steady job in order for him to learn!!

Ahhhhhh. I get your point!
I am always surprised to hear that people can't drive but maybe that's because I grew up on a farm and being able to drive was essential if I wanted to ever go anywhere interesting!

What a pain in the arse for you.

bebeballroom Thu 13-Oct-11 13:21:01

He did learn when he was in sixth form, and (according to his mum) was a good driver. Just never got round to doing his test! Then of course they brought in all the theory test etc & he is a bit exam phobic & just couldn't get his head round it! Up to this point he hasn't really needed to drive. It was a right royal PITA when I was pregnant/in labour though! But hey ho, it's not like we could afford to run 2 cars either, and I couldn't be without mine!

Quodlibet Thu 13-Oct-11 14:24:28

Oh Bebe what terrible news, you poor things. You must all be so stressed and shocked. I don't know what to say really apart from you should let off steam here, we don't mind. And (((hugs))).

I'm so sorry to hear the news about the contract at your OH's business, bebe. Awful news, I hope you are OK. daffodil

Also SPR that is not what you need to be dealing with at work whilst you are pregnant but it sounds like you are doing all the right things and fighting your corner- you go girl! (In the style of head & finger shaking American!) I'm glad your OHs situation is working out for the best also.

100 you are hardcore going for a run already!

AC- how are things going? Any more breakthroughs?

Quod- sounds like a busy period for both of you! It is hard spending time apart from your OH I think but great when you get back together wink

Mrs S- I haven't read your other thread but hope you are OK and issues are working themselves out?

Well.....term plus 1 week today and still pregnant! I feel fine though, check up few days ago was OK. The doctor was talking about induction and sweeps etc but I want to try and let things happen naturally as far as possible so I can have the homebirth we are hoping for. The house is finally ready so I am going to start trying all the curry/sex/walking type things to encourage labour!

It's weird how everyone keeps asking if there is any news as if we would have the baby and forget to tell them smile

has anyone got any recommendations for baby monitors? we live in a very tall, narrow house so we will need one with good range for when we are on different floors from the baby. Is a video one worth it or one of the ones that monitors breathing movements or are they totally over the top?

Sorry for the peeps I have missed off- <waves to all>

Oh forgot to say- AC the big trip would have been fine for me at 24 weeks- I felt great, but you have no way of knowing how you will feel so I would recommend leaving the booking until the last minute.

bebeballroom Sat 15-Oct-11 11:11:38

shock Strawberry!! Can't believe you are due (or overdue wink) already!! How fast did that go?!

We have a Tomy monitor, we thought video one/breathing one would be unnecessary as DD was in with us for 5months anyway & mostly napped downstairs. But totally your call. Our Tomy one (old style, they have changed it recently) has been really good. Our house isn't that big, but it copes brilliantly at my mums which is alot bigger & at one point we used to pick up next doors monitor (until we figured it out & changed the frequency! grin) so I'd say the range is pretty good!

Thanks to everyone for all the <hugs> and sympathy! Just hoping that something good will come out of all this mess, but I'm not holding my breath!

Off out today to take DD to the hell that is softplay for a birthday party. Going to be tough as just found out that some ex-friends are bringing their little boy so it is going to be very awkward. (Ex-friends sounds very petty, but they really screwed us over & cocked up DHs business which contributed to the crap that we are still dealing with 3 years on!!) go find some socks & make sure I have everything to go out....don't want to go, but DD is so excited!

Amonstercooper Sat 15-Oct-11 11:22:45

Oh Bebe what awful news, bad luck seems to be stalking you at the moment. I suppose even if your DH passed his test the cost of insurance would be shocking. I hope you don't have to move away. What's going on with your lease property at the moment? Is that going ok at least?

SPR I'm sorry I haven't been on the thread to help you out, but you seem to be managing things well. Is there any news?

Strawberry it is good to hear from you. It must be so weird to be just at the fit to burst point waiting for it to all go off any second. I hope you get the birth you want, I'm sending you lots of "go into labour" vibes!

I don't think those monitors are over the top in a house like that. DH got a video monitor for £70 that synchs with his iPhone to watch what the cat gets up to when we're out (answer = not a lot) so we're already sorted for if when baby ever comes!

An interesting development here. I finally got another job, and it's perfect! A bit less money in my pay packet every month but a better pension, maternity pay, flexi time!!! I start at the beginning of January, which of course puts the breaks on any TTC plans. I'll have to wait and see what the qualifying period is for the maternity benefits. DH must be deliriously happy lol.

Quodlibet Sat 15-Oct-11 11:25:16

Strawberry, that's really exciting, I imagine every day must have you on tenterhooks a bit at the moment? Hope it all goes really smoothly.

Bebe good to see you looking for sunshine through the clouds, who knows, maybe in a few years you'll look back and decide this had to happen in order for you all to get through a bad patch and into a better place.

Well I've got a very sociable day today, off to see a friend and his fiance and their twin babies for a military-precision-planned trip to the pub! She's still bfing both (huge respect) which means we have to meet up at a very precise time but very much looking forward meeting the littlies. Then have a couple of good female friends over for dinner to start to plan 'team wedding' for one of them. Realised today that disconcertingly I have seen DP's face in stranger's twitpics more than in real life recently, can't wait til he gets home tomorrow night at some point.

MrsSatsuma Sun 16-Oct-11 22:59:19

Just a quick one as I'm on my phone!

Bebe SO sorry to hear that sad I really hope things work out - you deserve some luck, I think it's overdue for you!

Strawberry glad it's all going well smile

AC congrats on the new job!!!!

<waves to everyone else>

Things here are getting somewhat complicated... Will post more when I can. Life as I know it is going up in the air a bit. Hmm.

Amonstercooper Mon 17-Oct-11 06:29:28

Oh MrsS I hope everything's ok with you.

Congratulations on the new job Amanda! Great news! When do you start?

What is happening Mrs S? Are you ok?

How are things Bebe? How is your OH holding up and how was the party with the ex-friend?

No change here- Pleeeeaase come out soon baby! Lots of walking planned fir today......

bebeballroom Mon 17-Oct-11 10:18:07

MrsS - hope everything is ok? Are you alright?

AC - Fab news re:job! smile It may delay TTC, but hopefully you will be in a happier & better position when you do!

Strawberry - lots of walking, housework, curry, pineapple etc......Oh and sleep....while you can! wink Fingers crossed LO doesn't keep you waiting much longer. Have the MWs said how long they will let you go past your EDD before they think about induction?

Things were very awkward at the party, not helped by DD being still a bit under the weather so v clingy & stroppy! But we got through it!

DH is even more mega stressed than usual, the workload he has right now is enormous as they try to salvage what they can & try & come up with a plan B! Just hoping that something presents itself & that we can actually enjoy Christmas!

MrsS - hope that you are ok ((hugs))

AC - amazing news on the new job. Well done you! smile

Bebe - am keeping everything crossed for you that something good happens soon. It's about time and you deserve it!!

Strawberry - sending positive vibes to you that LO comes out soon and that you can avoid induction to get your dream birth.

Waves to everybody else!

All ok over here. Working form home this morning as had a pretty active weekend and feeling a bit under the weather. I think that someone from HR is going to call me this afternoon about the chat we had so will be interesting to see what happens there! She has clearly spoken to the MD though as he is responding to my e-mails with 1 or 2 word replys. TWAT!!!

Only 4 more sleeps until the 20 weeks scan - very excited!!!

100years Mon 17-Oct-11 13:43:00

Quod, sounds like you had a busy holiday, was it good? Glad it's the last month of DP being away a lot.

AC Congratulations on the new job.

Thanks for all the congrats on the run, I will take it easy, but it's so nice to head out and do something for me and to get me fit again.

SPR, sorry you are having a shit deal at work sad That is really really bad, I hope it all works out in a positive way for you. Wow for the 20 week scan, that's fab, can't wait to hear how it goes.

Bebe sad blinking heck for your DH and his work. I really hope it doesn't get to the food being a problem stage for you.

strawberry, wow a week overdue, that's amazing, gone really quickly, but then everyone says that. For me non of the old wives tales worked, but was fun for me. Re baby monitor, we don't have a video monitor, we have a BT 150, which is fabulous and was recommended by lots of people.

MrsS, hope you are OK.

Hey, so we had a weekend away and LO had a fab time, appears to like her travel cot, sleeping in it for 6 hours the first night - yes that's 6 hours in one go!!! OMG, that was pretty amazing. Think we are getting into more a night time routine, which is lovely, although it's not exactly the same every night, it's quite predictable now. She's started smiling properly smile She makes lovely little happy chattery noises. Loves the bath, loves kicking on the play mat or on the floor. Is happy to stay there while I eat my tea smile So long as she isn't hungry that is. Wind issues seem to mostly be settled now, fingers crossed and I'm getting used to which noises mean what. She's very placid and chilled and only really cries if she is hungry or windy, and fusses a little when she is fighting sleep, but I think we are having it very easy.

Went to church yesterday and we sat under the organ, she slept through the whole thing!!! So she obviously loves noise around her smile Good job really I'm not a quiet person.

Anyway I got to go and feed her now, so I'll check in again later.

bebeballroom Mon 17-Oct-11 18:33:23

Well the deal DH was working on to try and tide us over seems to have fallen flat and just found out that our mortgage is going up! angry When it rains it really fucking pours! sad

Will be back to post nice non depressing things later when I've had a few vodkas chance to calm down!

FruitloopSalad Mon 17-Oct-11 21:23:27

It's me.... keeping with the 'fruity' theme but name changed as I was bored and also want to be slightly harder to identify....

Oh bebe sad poor you. I do hope the sun will come out soon for you.

Sorry to be so vague in my last post. Basically....<bit worried about being flamed after this...> I have been having doubts about DH for a while. Been feeling weird. Feel much stronger than I did, because I've got over the anxiety, so I'm not anxious - and I'm worrying about how much I relied on DH and how much that was part of our relationship, and so whether it is now gone. I've just told him that and he is utterly shellshocked and crushed. Atmosphere is horrendous. It has been complicated by the fact that I have let myself get too close to a friend, which has also made me question my feelings for DH. DH doesn't know that bit. The first issue is the cause of the second, rather than the result of it. I am an awful, horrible, bad person. Not expecting any sympathy at all... just explaining why I've been off for ages.

100years Mon 17-Oct-11 22:35:17

Hugs bebe. Sounds like you're having a really bad patch. sad

Fruitloop, all that matters is you take care of yourself, I won't ever judge anyone for the things they do re relationships, only you yourself know what you feel and how best to look after you. I hope you get things straight. No flaming from me. Hugs.

Quodlibet Mon 17-Oct-11 23:54:27

AC we cross-posted, CONGRATULATIONS on the new job! That's fantastic - and sounds like a much more friendly place to eventually become a parent. Maybe things are working themselves out for a best-in-the-long-run scenario? Realistically, what's their maternity qualifying period likely to be? <clueless self-employed emoticon>

Bebe sorry things are still so horribly stressful your end. ((hugs)).

Fruitloop, no flamings here either. Finding your emotional landscape changing can be so hard to understand and it doesn't automatically make you a bad person. You sound full of care towards your DH still. I hope that you find a way through this confusing period.

Quodlibet Mon 17-Oct-11 23:57:14

100 holiday was lovely thanks, a great week. DP came home last night after a week away with lots of travel and hardly any sleep (and of course he is tired and ill and immediately creates a giant mess angry) but I was very pleased to see him nonetheless. He's away next weekend and then that's it for a while.

Fruitloop - sorry to hear that things have been so tough for you and that you've had to work through it all yourself for fear of a flaming.

Relationships are such personal things and nobody else can tell you what is right for you and your DH. I am sure that you are handling everything in a really kind and caring fashion and so hopefully the putcome will be whatever you want/need it to be.

Don't stop posting on here though - we're all pretty good at listening smile


Bebe - that is really shitty news. (((hugs)) for you too. Is there a plan B?

bebeballroom Tue 18-Oct-11 11:43:25

Oh Fruitloop sad What a horrid thing to be going through. Relationships do change & it can be worrying & unsettling when it happens, but it isn't always a bad thing. Take your time to work out what is best for you. No one will flame you xx

Thanks for the hugs & kind words everyone. Feeling a bit miserable today, but trying really hard to perk myself up & be posiitive.

(SPR think we are on about Plan F right now!!)

100 - Edith sounds adorable! I remember the first night I got 6 straight hours sleep after DD was born, bliss. Before I had a baby I never thought that 6 hours sleep would be so marvellous! wink

SPR - Did HR call you?

Quod - How do men do that re making a mess?! I swear DH comes home from work & within minutes the house looks like a bomb has hit it, he's worse than DD!! Glad you are going to have him around a bit more though. smile

I've had an e-mail battle with the Assistant MD today too as he had a deadline to get important info to me by Friday and he hasn't even started working on it and won't have it to me until tomorrow evening.

I really don't know why I bother as nobody else here seems to give a shit!

There have been a couple of amusing moments today though. I have got to input the feedback from some company roadshows and one question was:

"What did you hope to get out of the Roadshow"

some of the answers I have received so far have been:

"nothing" "food" "a gift" "cake and a gift" "not a lot"

I wish that they had names attached to them!!!

UPDATE: They have come back with a counter offer for me that is quite a lot lower so I have suggested we meet half way and I leave straight away. If I can get that as a tax free payoff then it is equivalent to 12 months on full salary and I will still be able to claim MA when LO arrives - making me a happy bunny! Fingers crossed everybody!!! ;)

Emma has arrived! 13:45 yesterday weighing 7lb 12oz. She is doing great, we had the home waterbirth we hoped for and are probably still a bit in shock! Will let you know more details soon.

Massive congratulations!! And brilliant news that you go the home waterbirth that you wanted - I'm thrilled for you smile

Can't wait to hear more about your experience and love the name

Quodlibet Wed 19-Oct-11 10:28:59

Hurrah! Well done Strawberry and congratulations to your family.
Looking forward to hearing more when you've settled in.

SPR sounds like you've got a possible brilliant settlement on your hands there...

bebeballroom Wed 19-Oct-11 12:06:33

Yay! Congratulations Strawberry & welcome to baby Emma! Love love love the name, classic, it is one of DDs MNs <biased emoticon> wink

SPR - Any news? Hope that they came back to you and offered you more money & that you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy in a stress free enviroment! smile

Bloomin freezing here, I am not putting the heating on til the end of the month...11 days and counting! Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Sooooo cold! our heating comes on for 15 mins in the morning and 30 mins at night but most of the radiators are turned off so it's only really the towel rails that get warm.

Am trying to resist turning them on and so it's wooly socks, blankets on the sofa and lots of layers!! I know that if I turn it on I'll just get too hot and have to wander around in a vest top so this si the best option for now!

Waiting to hear back but hopefully it'll be resolved by the weekend and I can get on with fun stuff!!!

100years Wed 19-Oct-11 14:14:05

bebe, it's only happened once, but it was good, would have been better had I not woken half way through for a wee, but you can't have everything. She's generally pretty good at night,occasionally feeds a lot and have a disturbed night, but on the whole she is fabulous. Get that heating on!!! LOL

Strawberry, congratulations, that's fab news. Glad you had a water birth smile I'd like that for my second one (wanted it this time but couldn't) but as the first was so quick I'm not sure if there will be time! Not got to think about that for a little while though!

I just missed the perfect smile on camera opportunity sad Bummer, she was grinning away on her mat, kicking and chatting and smiling, got phone out for pic and the smile went away, I reckon she must know!

I've put our names down to do the EAT study. Hopefully we can help in the research for future generations to know more about allergy/intolerances.

Had a long lie in bed this morning. She generally sleeps more in the morning than the afternoon, so I took advantage of the fact she was sleepy this morning, fed her lying down, then fell asleep with her till almost 10 smile She still slept after that! I need to get dressed and do some kitchen work though now, am being a lazy bum today after a day out yesterday!

And I'm using the bouncy chair as a way of getting half an hour on the internet [bad mummy emoticon] she's sat in it, I'm bouncing it and posting on here. I really should have been posting while she was on her mat as she was very very happy there, but she will only play for so long there, although it is a while. It's nice because I can put her down and leave her play, she isn't always after attention, but does love the attention she gets smile


It's not official yet but I've had a call and they have offered me what I was expecting them to come back with and I have accepted it. They are going to send me the agreement to have legally checked and signed and then I'm done! Quite shocking that it's all worked out how I hoped and they have put up no fight what so ever (other than bargaining)

Don't want to celebrate too soon as we still have to cover all the legal stuff but I should be out of here on 31st October!!!

Better start looking for a part time xmas job!!

WhyWait Thu 20-Oct-11 18:45:50

Goodness- a lot has happened!!!

Strawberry congratulations on the arrival of Emma! I'm really pleased that you had the birth you planned! How is everything going??
I think that means that it's me that's gonna pop next! Eek!!

SPR congrats on getting your settlement- they obviously realise that they've been in the wrong. I'm getting maternity allowance (if I figure out how to do the paperwork) and it's not much less than SMP.

AC congrats on the new job! When do you start?

Bebe sorry to hear about DH's job situation. I hope you're not feeling as stressed about it all and something comes up! Please don't freeze- put the heating if you need it!

100yrs sounds like you're taking very well to motherhood! LO sounds like a dream!

Fruitloop sounds like you're having a really tough time atm. I hope things get sorted and you do the right thing for you!

waves to quod and others who may be reading but not posting.

Things in WW house have slowed down considerably- I'm like an immobile elephant at best! Over the last week I've been pretty uncomfortable even during the day! Sleeping at night is a challenge! We had our 34 wks check up last week and he's in a really good position and slightly engaged! I was a very proud mum!

100years Thu 20-Oct-11 19:25:38

SPR glad you got what you hoped for.

WW great news about position smile 34 weeks, yay hope you don't find the last few weeks more uncomfy. For me weeks 35 to 41 were the best out of the whole pregnancy. And yes she is a bit of a dream, feel really lucky.

Go check out my profile for a smiley pic smile

WhyWait Thu 20-Oct-11 20:28:01

100yrs that is a very cute smile! You must be so proud!

100years Thu 20-Oct-11 20:54:47

Thanks ww smile I really am smile

Quodlibet Fri 21-Oct-11 08:14:18

100 she looks so much like you! Such a delicate little face, so sweet.

Scan all done and everything looks fine - big relief! There is a pic on my profile of Mini waving hello!!!

Quodlibet Fri 21-Oct-11 17:11:06

I can't see scan photo!

bebeballroom Mon 24-Oct-11 12:04:55

I can't see the photo either! sad

Hope everyone has had a lovely weekend. Seems so quiet on here these days.

The weekend has gone way too fast, but for once DH didn't spend the whole time working. (Which is good in one respect but obviously means he has no actual work to do! sad) No light at the end of the tunel I'm afraid. Just wish life would give us a break. It's been one thing after another!

Making Christmas cakes this week. Just made a big one for us & then making some smaller ones to go in hampers as presents.

Some good news though, I have my first proper cake job lined up for March. So after Xmas it will be project 'sort kitchen' although I have a back up plan of using the kitchen in PILs guest house/granny flat. All very exciting though. Just working on the contract/invoice details for my client! grin Got to did out our wedding stuff to see if I still have the one we had for our cake so I can rip off the t's & c's! grin

WhyWait Mon 24-Oct-11 12:26:09

I can't see the photo either! Glad everything went well with the scan SPR did you find out what flavour you're having?

Oh bebe I really sorry about everything, it really does seem that your luck should change soon! At least you and DD got to spend time with DH.

Good news about the cake! I wonder if you could make some christmas cakes for people? I think you've deffo got a business with the cake stuff - I hope you can get it up and running and advertising - then I bet the orders would flood through!

I'm 36 wks today! Eek and we're planning to go round the birth unit tonight! double eek!

bebeballroom Mon 24-Oct-11 13:13:06

Oh my goodness WW - one more week & you are considered 'term'! Scary stuff! How fast has that gone?!

This job I've got for March is 8 cupcake bouquets. It's a lot of work but it's going to be fab! Also been asked by my grandma to make her 80th birthday cake in May, so I'm really excited about that. My birthday is in a couple of weeks so I have plans to make myself something special (that I can photograph for a portfolio...two birds, one stone wink). (?!) hmm at the birth unit. grin

Great work on getting some official work Bebe - that is fantastic news and I am sure that before long business will be booming!!

I've changed the permissions on my pic so hopefully it can be seen now. Will change it back tonight though as it's got my name on!! We chose not to find out the sex as DH was really against it. I wish we had but guess I'll just have to wait until March!!!

Went shopping for Mini yesterday with DH ("working from home") and got some lovely stuff from Baby GAP....... I've got the shopping bug now though and really want to buy lots and lots of things!!!

Got my draft agreement through last night so looks like we are all on track for a 31st October finish....... So exciting!

Oooh WW - how was your trip to the birthing unit?

Quodlibet Tue 25-Oct-11 11:13:32

Ah, there's the scan! How sweet. How you've managed to get all that baby in that teeny neat bump I'll never know - clearly you're a tardis SPR. <total awe of SPR's stomach muscles>

Bebe that's fantastic news about your cake commission!

WW how was the birthing unit?

Hello everyone else! I'm rather the worse for wear today after quite a posh press night party last night, far too much free wine. I think I ate my own body weight in canapes as I hadn't had any dinner!

WhyWait Tue 25-Oct-11 11:27:21

Bebe I know I can't believe how quickly my pregnancy has gone! He'll be here soon! woop woop!
Do you think you'll get everything ready for March so you'll be an official business? I remember you saying that you needed to have someone inspect your kitchen.

The trip to the birth unit was lovely! It's midwife led, and is supposed to be a home from home, but it feels more like a spa- mood lighting, controlling own music, aromatherapy oils and massage....the birthing pool was huge!!! I really wanted to get into it then! DH was very impressed - we're both very happy with the idea of having baby there! I just wonder how long it'll be until I'm there giving birth?

SPR that's an amazing pic of LO, shopping for them is great fun! I have got a lot of stuff from the internet (delivered straight to door is so nice when you're the size of an elephant) you'd be surprised how expensive shops like mothercare are!
Yay for getting the paperwork sorted!

Quod wine and canapes - sounds like a good party! Hope the hangover isn't too bad! I used to have ribena and salt and vinegar crisps as my hangover cure!

Quod hope that you recover form last night's party!! Lucozade and salted popcorn was my failsafe cure!!
Think the stomach muscles are about to give in... I can feel everything stretching and today it feels like I might explode! Time to get out the Bio Oil!!!

WhyWait Amazing news that you have such a fantastic place to give birth. I am sure it will help keep you as calm as possible and make the experience as enjoyable as it can be!!
I had a Grazia 30% voucher for GAP so that was really helpful in saving us quite a lot. Have dug out Bebe's list of essentials and am delighted to see that there is still more purchasing of teeny tiny clothes to be done! smile

bebeballroom Tue 25-Oct-11 11:52:22

SPR - What an adorable picture! smile Did you go to the Bath shop, I have friends who work there! (I used to work at the one at Cribbs, but thankfully before I had DD or I would have spent all my wages!!) Cannot even remember what was on my essentials list now! blush

Quod - Canapes & free wine?! Sounds like my kinda party! wink

WW - Birth unit sounds lurrrvely!! Fingers crossed he arrives pronto! grin

Yes I do need to be inspected by enviromental health! Eeeek! But I do have a back up of using PILs guest house kitchen which is newer & never used. We do have plans to re-do our kitchen, but with things as they are right now it's been put on hold! A friend of mine has said that all they really want to see is that it is clean...which I can do, obviously! My big concern is that they might be iffy about us having a cat. But he doesn't go on the kitchen counters & he hardly ever uses his litter tray (which technically isn't in the kitchen but by the back door/bathroom) so I'm just not sure what they will say really! confused

WhyWait Tue 25-Oct-11 12:15:18

hmm bebe's list of essentials - SPR can you send/link it to me pls?
30% voucher is thing I really like about mamas and papas - they randomly send me £5 off vouchers - I've had two now and you can use it on sale stuff (and they have great sales!)

Sounds like you're in a bit of a win/win situation with the kitchen. The inspector will tell you what you need to do to the kitchen to get the seal of approval - which you can use to influence the new kitchen and while you save up for the new kitchen you can always use the PILs.
Bebe, you make amazing cakes, I think its time for you to make some money out of it! Esp. as you can get everything ready before the wedding season starts (you can go to wedding fairs etc with your portfolio and free samples!)
I'd love to have a talent I could make money out of and work from home!

Quodlibet Tue 25-Oct-11 13:56:34

Bebe my friend has 2 cats and a tiny kitchen (part of main living space) in their rented flat, and she was passed by the environmental health inspectors. Like you said, they want to see it's clean and not full of dead mice, cobwebs and rat poison!

DP and I have had another round of The Talk today, prompted by yet another delivery date for his big project being set (April now). I can't let myself get wound up about the date moving constantly into the future otherwise I would actually explode, but today's conversation was actually quite reassuring - I realised I'd been casting him in my head as trying to put off TTC, when actually, as he said, he's not, he really wants to get started on it, but he's really wanting to find the best time so that he and I can enjoy little one's first weeks together properly. He finds the date-moving thing as frustrating as I do. So at least I feel like we're on the same page - we also talked about how we both feel like we'll never feel ready, and we'll always have a certain portion of our brains going 'AGGH IS THIS THE RIGHT THING TO DO?!', but that we need to get on and do it anyway as there's no point waiting for those feelings to subside (it's a natural anxiety and we both actually do want to have children!). I actually feel a lot less conflicted about it now knowing that we do share a perspective much more than I thought, and I'm not the only one who finds it terrifying and exciting in equal measure. Apparently, starting TTC in November is not entirely off the cards - I don't reckon we will, as it'd be sensible to leave a bit more wiggle room, but nonetheless it surprised me that he wasn't ruling it out!

(Phew - sorry for that rant, but it's really useful to see it all written down, IYSWIM?)

WhyWait Tue 25-Oct-11 18:33:25

Bebe sounds like environmental health aren't bothered by cats- that's good! Another tick in the box for your company - have you come up with a name?

Quod good that you could have a chat with DP about babies and TTC and as you said, good that you're both on the same page. I hope you feel better about it all- even if the dates keep moving. I wonder if you could start TTC in November? You'd be 5 months by April and that's if you caught on the first month. Ppl on this thread seemed to fall pg pretty quickly but as you know it took me 6 months. Alternatively you could have a really foody+boozy christmas and then start TTC in January??

bebeballroom Tue 25-Oct-11 19:50:49

Yes I do have a name! grin It's a bit cheesy, but it does make me laugh!! And we (me & DH) have coe up with a whole web design/layout/concept based around it which I think is really good! <biased, blowing own trumpet emoticon> grin

Amonstercooper Tue 25-Oct-11 20:26:10

Hi everyone - and congratulations Strawberry on little Emma. I wrote a long post over the weekend referencing everyone and it took me ages and of course the computer crashed and I lost it just as I was trying to post it.

I never seem to have time to post these days, but I am keeping up with everyone's news and it's particularly lovely to have some of my having children fears allayed by the positive reports from the front lines.

100years Tue 25-Oct-11 21:29:22

Thanks Quod smile How is the hangover?

SPR, glad the scan went well, it's a great picture you have got there smile Glad I managed to see it before permissions changed.

bebe, great news on the cake job you have lined up. Cake job sounds a bit wrong, like 'bank job' lol

WW, your birthing unit sounds lovely smile

AC, please don't have any fears. It's easy and hard and rewarding and amazing and well I just can't explain how utterly fantastic being a mum is.

Well hello again. smile

LO had massive growth spurt/milk fest at the weekend, and we had a day out visiting friends on Friday which was TBH a comedy of errors from start to finish! Never mind. We dealt with the 2 total clothing changes on the journey, the mammoth feeding on journeys, the crap foods we had at the services, the possible gallstones attack I suffered in the middle of the night, 2.5 hours sleep altogether that night, but I sat there looking at her at 4am and nearly cried with how much I love her.

Had a visit to my family's yesterday, stopped over at mum's and came home today, saw my sis and her 2 girls, the littlest who was in hosp in April and Aug with a chest infection still has a severe chest infection and will be on antibiotics for 4 weeks, check up again in 6 weeks and if still has an infection she will have to have lots of investigations sad My sister couldn't really talk about it today, it's quite upsetting.

I'm hoping to take part in the eat study am booked to go there in December. I'm also going to donate milk to the milk bank at the hosp I gave birth at, as I have lots and lots of milk going spare smile And want to help if I can.

LO is properly smiling a lot now, chattering away and generally a happy little soul. It's really really lovely having her around. There will be a second one....

Amonstercooper Tue 25-Oct-11 22:15:46

Oh dear not before my first one I hope! Everyone is lapping me. DH says we will start as soon as I qualify for contractual maternity pay. Hope it's not a year!

bebeballroom Wed 26-Oct-11 09:41:16

AC - when will you find out about mat pay...and when do you start? (Apologies if you've said & I missed it!)

100 - Glad you are enjoying motherhood. Think it's fab about the milk bank smile

I must go & do the washing up....have got mini xmas cake 1 of 3 in the oven & need to wash up the bowls etc to do the next one!

Quodlibet Wed 26-Oct-11 10:05:14

Oh Edith sounds like such a sweety, like AC it's so nice to hear joyous stories from the other side! That chatting thing some babies do is so sweet isn't it?

WW the thing is that the 6 months after April (or whenever DP's thing finally happens) will potentially be super-busy for DP, and he would possibly be away a lot, which is why we've been holding off TTC as it would be horrible if he wasn't around much in the last bit of pg and the first few weeks after birth. Saying that, it's all so unpredictable I am unwilling to 'peg' TTC on his work thing, IYSWIM? We've been around the point about it potentially taking time to catch, how it's all so unpredictable etc so many times, but he can't let go of being nervous about TTC when his work stuff is about to all kick off. Maybe Jan is a good symbolic starting time?

Strawberry how are you and Emma doing?

Amonstercooper Wed 26-Oct-11 13:33:07

Bebe who knows? My PITA of a boss can't seem to find time to write my reference, and as the new job is subject to references, I can't make any plans. Do you think he suspects that I'm toying with the idea of walking out as soon as I sign my new contract?!

bebeballroom Thu 27-Oct-11 09:31:44

AC - What a twonk! Anyway of reminding him....? hmm

Amonstercooper Thu 27-Oct-11 18:39:09

I've been assured it's been posted now. The head of department is so pleased to be getting rid of me that it's almost funny. He keeps asking if I know when I'm leaving yet! I can't bloody wait.

Quod it sounds like you'll be starting TTC before me. I'm really sad about having to have another Christmas go by while I'm still waiting - my third since the broodiness started. Once it's out of the way I reckon I'll be coasting along like an endurance athlete for a few months!

Quodlibet Fri 28-Oct-11 08:45:30

AC I dunno, I can't realistically see it happening til April is out of the way.
Do you think you'll move job before Xmas? Nice to have a big change on the horizon.

Wish me luck - I've got a show on tonight and tomorrow as part of a massive club night/party. Hoping all goes to plan!

bebeballroom Sat 29-Oct-11 15:03:52

Hope it went well last night Quod & Good Luck for tonight too!

AC - fingers crossed you'll be out of there by Christmas!

My DH in his infinite wisdom has arranged for us to get a kitten, we are picking him up tomorrow! hmm Apparently the constant 'nagging' hmm (I mentioned about twice that our cat Jaffa was lonely & DD keeps asking, but she's 3 so that doesn't count) made him change his mind!!! WT actual F?!?!?! So he'll cave to getting a kitten then?! If only I could train persuade DD to mention having a baby brother to him more often?! (She doesn't want a baby sister!!) It's alright for him to arrange this, he's not the one who'll be cleaning up after him or feeding him or taking him to the vets (who we still owe money to). I obviously would love to have a kitten (would love a baby more, but hey ho), but wish he had asked first & given it some more thought. We are not set-up for a kitten, we need to kitten proof the dining room/kitchen in order to leave him in at night. We need new bowls, a new litter tray, proper kitten food (which I'll somehow have to persaude the other cat not to eat!). Plus then he'll have to be de-flead, wormed & vaccinated. And we aren't exactly flush at the moment! Sometimes he just doesn't think things through!!!!! (And sometimes he thinks things throughtoo much!!) Oh and apparently DD gets to name him, but the only suggestions she has come up with so far are 'Bag' and 'Mr Bloom'! hmm

<Bebe goes off to quietly seeth in the corner all the time knowing that she'll be totally in love with the little fluff ball when it arrives!>

bebeballroom Sat 29-Oct-11 18:40:41

Had to go & get kitten today! He's very cute...but I'm still not impressed!

Quodlibet Sun 30-Oct-11 12:19:11

Can we maybe have a picture of the kitten so that we might accurately pass judgement on this incident, Bebe? wink

Show went well thanks, lucky me now gets to spend a day in bed if I want - after 2 nights of partying I need it these days!

bebeballroom Mon 31-Oct-11 06:44:46

Picture of kitten on profile. He's called Woody, named by DD who is currently Toy Story obsessed!

Manic day today! Happy Halloween everyone grin

Amonstercooper Mon 31-Oct-11 09:59:54

Oh dear god this is all I need! My parents came round for dinner last night and afterwards, with DH and DF were happily chatting cars and boats, my mother gave me the hard sell to start TTC. She literally reeled off every reason I've used on DH and because she knows (or at least I have told her) that it's him holding things up, I can only assume she thinks I don't fully appreciate the weight of the arguments sufficiently to properly impress them on DH. It was very wearing.

Bebe gosh another kitty, eh? That's a bit of a surprise! He's very cute. Can't really see how this fits with your DH's attitude to having more children though.

Quodlibet Mon 31-Oct-11 11:01:15

AWWWWW Woody is lovely!

AC blimey that's all you need isn't it? You must have enormous patience not to have strangled her. I had to have Words with my folks a few years ago when they started feathering the nest for their imaginary grandchildren. My sister and I were both single at the time.

100years Mon 31-Oct-11 14:31:32

AC I can't promise I won't lap you, sorry sad (although for me it would be a smile but I do feel bad if I lap you) I hope you get new job/maternity pay TTC situation sorted soon. Grr for you at your mother! Not what you really want hey.

bebe, I've made a fruit cake for my OH, first one I've ever made, it's currently at the 'feed me' stage. Cute kitty, but I can't believe your DH thinking that was OK but not even considering anything else

Thanks Quod, she is a sweety. Yeah January, new year, new life created.

Had LO weighed this morning, she's now 9lb11, still lighter than I was at birth! She's just over 7 weeks now, we have our check at the docs on Thursday for my postnatal check and her 6-8 week check smile Remember I went to the docs for a pre TTC check last year and saw a lovely doc who was almost as excited I was about the TTC, well it's her that I'm (we're) seeing smile Yay.

Amonstercooper Mon 31-Oct-11 15:28:08

100years shall I send you the OPK sticks back? You are welcome to lap me, there's no sense us all cooling our heels for no reason! Just keep being inspirational with your brimming love of motherhood is all I ask!

100years Mon 31-Oct-11 16:17:13

Oh I can brim full of motherhood love smile I'd make you all sick. No don't worry about the sticks(for now), I'm not sure how much date is on them, and I didn't use them when I was TTC.

Quodlibet Mon 31-Oct-11 17:22:35

Forgot to tell you all: I went to see We Need To Talk About Kevin last night. Would not recommend it for date night with a FOFing DP.

100years Mon 31-Oct-11 17:41:25

Did you go with your DP?

Quodlibet Mon 31-Oct-11 17:42:53

I did indeed. I actually said to him at the beginning, 'now, remember, this is just pretend, it's not real'....

100years Mon 31-Oct-11 17:49:14

I just had a little chuckle to myself at you pre warning him that!

Amonstercooper Wed 02-Nov-11 09:47:27

I might see if anyone wants them in the conception forum then, if they're about to go out of date. I don't want to part with them, but at the same time there's no sense in hanging on to them when someone else could be actually using them. sad

Quod thanks for the tip, will not allow DH to watch it! He has made a tiny bit of progress and I don't want any setbacks!

100years Wed 02-Nov-11 11:41:32

AC pm sent to you smile

Hi all,

things are great here, Emma is doing really well, feeding well, putting weight on. She is sleeping better at night too- waking to feed every 3 hours but going back to sleep quickly in between feeds. I have been to a baby group and am going to a baby moves class this afternoon- it's nice to be getting out and about and there are so many classes/groups available which is nice. She is spending more time with her eyes open looking around and has smiled at us lots of times too (yes probably wind at this age but still lovely!).

I'm sorry about the situation with your OH's work Bebe.i hope things improve soon. Not the ideal time to get another pet - knowing how much vaccines/flea/worm control and neutering costs! But he is very cute smile

I remember reading the Kevin book and being horrified- deffo not one for fence dwelling potential fathers!

100years Thu 03-Nov-11 14:55:39

Aaah Strawberry, glad things are going well for you. Sounds fabulous for you too. smile I need to look at baby groups and things, been mooching along without any groups and stuff and think it's about time I started going to some. The little smiles are very cute smile

Off for check up at the docs now. Will post properly later.

Awayinamangercooper Fri 04-Nov-11 11:01:24

Hello all! Well it's my birthday weekend, so I'm cooling my heels in bed this morning. The cat's snoozing away next to me and we're both having a lovely rest! Dinner tonight, spa on Wednesday. Trying to persuade DH to go to Alton Towers tomorrow, but can't see it happening!

Strawberry good to hear that everything is going really well, especially that you are getting a bit of sleep. That's one of my bigger concerns about having a baby in the house. Everyone says classes and baby groups are a god send, what is baby moves?

In other news, my best friend had a little girl born at home in the early hours of this morning, in a labour that took just 1hr 40 mins! She said it hurt a lot, but it all went by in a blur and was over before she knew it. Can't wait to see her!

Awayinamangercooper Fri 04-Nov-11 11:02:19

Oh it's also my second anniversary on the waiting TTC thread! <rings the bell for George and Jake to bring in the drinks>

WhyWait Fri 04-Nov-11 11:55:00

Hello Ladies!

bebe love the pic of the new kitten- I understand that it's not ideal for you to have a new cat, but I do think it was really sweet of DH to find him!

100yrs I love the fact that you love motherhood so much and so quickly - the NCT classes we went to tried to focus on the 'truth' which was generally the negative side of things - I'm glad everyone doesn't find it so difficult!

Strawb good to here from you and glad that Emma is doing well!

AC OMG at your mums comments - I would have told mine to butt out (controversally) It's a real bug bear of mine that people think that its fine to ask you very personal questions about your plans for parenthood - why they think its any of there business? It's anyones guess!
I hope you have a super birthday weekend and you're truly spoilt! I'm jealous of you going to a spa - I'd love a quick dip in a jaccuzzi!

So no news at the WW household even though I'm 37+4...I really hope I don't go overdue - been having a nightmare sleeping recently and I'm so immobile (think pregnant elephant) also hoping he arrives before the scales say 14 st!! Eek!

bebeballroom Fri 04-Nov-11 12:53:48

AC - Your birthday weekend plans sound preferable to mine! I am making my own birthday cake (although that's not really a chore grin) then off to ILs (maybe) and on my actual birthday DH will be at work & DD will be at pre-school so I shall be all alone & cleaning up kitten s***! sad
My mum would have got one of these hmm if she had done that to me! How did you not smack her one?!

100 - It's so lovely how much you love motherhood! Edith is a very lucky little girl! smile Definitely try to get out to groups, I really missed out when DD was very small coz I was ill with the damn MS, and it took me a while to 'catch up' and make friends with LOs DDs age.

Strawberry - glad it is all going well. She sounds like a dream...although I'm sure she has her moments!

WW - Fingers crossed he hurries up then! grin Keep us posted! (Although I'm sure you will have more important things on your mind if/when things kick off! wink)

Awayinamangercooper Fri 04-Nov-11 13:50:07

If I want a birthday cake, I'll be making my own as well, in fact I bought all the ingredients already!

Quodlibet Fri 04-Nov-11 16:15:49

Happy birthdays AC and Bebe! I LOVE Alton Towers, hope you can go. Ahhh, 2 years of WTTTC, how time flies when you're having fun hmm. It'll be 2 years for me this month since we started having the discussion properly about 'when'.

I'm looking forward to a relaxing weekend after working most of the last 2. I am clearly very lucky - one of my good friends/colleagues (male) is a brilliant baker and makes us all a birthday cake, mine was amazing a couple of weeks ago.

WhyWait it really is into the final stretch for you isn't it? You sound a bit fed up with it all (not surprisingly if you're not sleeping and can't move!)

100years Sat 05-Nov-11 14:28:32

AC, have a fab weekend and fab birthday smile passes over wine for your 2 years on the waiting threads

WW, yes, I know what you mean about people focussing on the negative side of things, people do only tend to hear about or talk about how hard it is when the baby is newborn. We went into it very relaxed and took things in our stride, it's not 'easy' but it's been tonnes easier than I had expected it to be. The disturbed sleep thing is tough, but you get used to it (quite quickly for me) and if you have naps when you can then you get through it easier, the episiotomy thing (if you have one), well it's temporary, salt water baths (and lots of salt) putting cushions in certain positions and maybe a rubber ring help, also a jug for pouring water on your bits when you have a wee to stop any stinging that might happen. For me, it's been the best thing ever, I've loved every minute of it, I would (and hopefully will) do it all again in a heart beat. Just don't expect to be superwoman, do what you can, when you can and enjoy the precious first few moments with your LO. I am only saying this from my experience, I know some people don't have it easy or enjoy it like I have. I hope you do enjoy it like I have though. And seriously, worry not what the scales say, it's a number and your LO will be thriving in you.

Happy Birthday Bebe, I bet you have the best birthday cake ever. smile Thank you, I have found out about a few groups, one is on a monday and one on a tuesday, will start one of them soon.

Quod, my sister makes cakes, last year she made cup cakes for my birthday which were fab, not sure if I'll get any this year though as we are away for my birthday. Enjoy the weekend.

LO had her jabs yesterday, she was very good, as was I smile She only cried briefly then back to sleep after a little cuddle and some sshhhing.

LO is currently crying for food now, I will have to complete this later.

Quodlibet Tue 08-Nov-11 12:12:33

Hello's quiet in here isn't it?

Bebe and AC how were your birthdays?
WhyWait any developments your end?

Well, I'm on CD2 of the November cycle, which some time ago we discussed as being the one we'd start TTC on. I don't think it will be though - we're due another discussion on the subject but I imagine we'll end up putting it off another couple of months at least.
DP very sweetly has treated me to a Eurostar ticket to Paris to see him play there on Thursday, and then we'll have a long weekend staying with friends there. Really looking forward to some romance time with him, and hopefully the opportunity to talk things through again.

WhyWait Tue 08-Nov-11 16:46:59

Hello all, golly it's been quiet on here recently!

As Quod said, hope AC and Bebe had good birthdays!

Quod waiting a few months might not be a bad idea- being pregnant but not being able to explain to people would be a nightmare over the xmas period so maybe starting in the new year might work well? DP playing - what does he play? Sport or music?

No news here really...on friday the nursery stuff arrived - cotbed, cot top changer, cotbed mattress, changing mat and baby monitor and yesterday the pram (silvercross surf) arrived yest as did the tens machine I bought off ebay (bargain if you're planning to have two!)

I'm all ready....I really hope baby will come soon - I don't want to be pregnant for much more if I'm still here at 40something weeks I'll be very mardy!

bebeballroom Tue 08-Nov-11 20:23:08

Today is my birthday, TBH it's been fairly crap! Got a DVD from DH & DD. Was on my own most of the day. Have managed to lose the little birthday money I was sent (fell out of my pocket when I went to pick DD up from pre-school I think sad). DH is moping around with a face like thunder & being all cross with me for losing the cash, which ironically I had put in my pocket so I wouldn't lose it!! Had planned a Chinese but the Chinese was shut. Have spent much of the afternoon shouting at DD for being naughty (eg. Running across a road & refusing to hold my hand). <sigh> Pretty much worst Birthday I can remember. Just want to cry but it'll end up in an argument with DH if I do. He's having a strop right now about having to put DD to bed so that I can have a 'night off'!! hmm Only real highlight is my small understated birthday cake! grin (Pic on profile) Am tempted to eat it all myself & not share any of it.....hmm

Sorry to rant, just feel a bit peeved off at the crapness of it all!

Will be back tomorrow to post replies to everyone when I have pulled my head out of my backside!

DD just ran in & sang me Happy Birthday...a small glimmer of sunshine on an otherwise dark & cloudy day!

Quodlibet Tue 08-Nov-11 21:41:10

Oh that's rubbish! I am setting the Gruffalo on your DH forthwith for not looking after you properly with due care and attention! (he is allowed a head start because of work stress, but only 3 seconds, then I unleash the slavering beast)

Here, I made you a slightly wonky cake. (yours is waaaay better)


Sorry you've had a disappointing day. I always think there's a bit too much pressure on birthdays and they have a tendency to be a bit deflating. Think you deserve to treat yourself at your leisure asap.

WhyWait Wed 09-Nov-11 11:36:22

Bebe I'm really sorry you had a sh1te deserved to have an amazing one - I hope you're feeling better today.
The cake you made is truely awesome! I would have been chuffed with that for a wedding cake! How are plans going for the company? You are going to be busy given the standard of your baking!

un-mn hugs ((()))

bebeballroom Thu 10-Nov-11 10:46:16

Thanks for my 'cake' Quod! That must have taken a while?!

I'm still quietly seething about the crapness of my birthday. Granted we have hardly any money right now but DH made no effort at all.

Had a very bizarre dream about all of you guys last night! Find it weird when you dream about people you only know on MN in real situations!

Would post more but the kitten is attacking my laptop!

Hi all

Bebe, that's really shitty that your DH made no effort for your birthday. Especially with how supportive you are being to him at the moment. I hope that you are feeling a bit better now (((hugs)))

I'm laid up in bed having just fallen down the stairs and landed rather awkwardly on my big toe. It hurts like hell and looks a bit wonky but hoping it'll go down soon, otherwise its a trip to A&E sad

DH gave me that "you muppet" look which only made me cry more...., bloody hormones!

How's everybody else? It's really quiet in here at the moment isn't it?

100years Thu 10-Nov-11 20:26:51

Oooh Quod, you counting cycle days, shame it's not for TTC. How was (is) paris?

WW, it's all exciting getting the baby stuff isn't it smile Enjoy the fact that LO is all warm and cosy and happy in there, I know it's hard, but I was really chilled at the end and enjoyed the last few days. I miss the kicking.

bebe, sounds like a shite day for you sad thanks have some flowers from me, I know they are supposed to be thanks, but we'll call them flowers for now. And I did say you would have the best birthday cake.

SPR, sorry to hear about your fall. Do you feel alright other than the toe?

Well, I've had a few days where I have felt a bit off and tearful, had a massive blub yesterday morning and evening, but feeling a lot better today. Hard to describe what's happening or why I feel like it. I'm so happy with LO, she's really good, and doing some amazing things. I think occasionally the disturbed nights just make you feel a bit glum and sometimes it takes a cry and a moan about it to get through it.

We've been swimming today, it was fab, she really likes being in the water, had I not had an episiotomy I would have gone sooner with her.

Started to do more exercise and have joined slimming world, although I've only had one day (out of 3) where I have followed the plan to the letter, but I'm scoffing less cake and bread so there is a difference to what I'm eating. I'm still loads lighter than I was when I got pregnant. Basically I was x stone 2 when I got pregnant, lost 2 stone with HG and only put back on 13 lbs, lost that and some more after birth, so I'm currently x-3 stone 10 so that's 2stone 6 lighter than I was when I got pregnant! I still have a good few stone to lose, but there was a time when I was x+3stone, so I've come a LONG way. I hope the numbers make sense, I don't really want to say the numbers at the moment.

Awayinamangercooper Fri 11-Nov-11 10:34:24

Hello everyone! Just quick as I am supposed to be sprucing up my house before my grandparents arrive. Just spent a good hour composing a ranting post on AIBU in response to all the people who trot out the "if you're not sure you want a baby, then for the good of the child, don't do it" advice, which I hate. I love children and I'm patient and nurturing, I would provide a wonderful life to any child I did have. Just because I sometimes wonder if the better course in life for DH and I lies elsewhere, doesn't mean I should desist for the good of the child. Harumpff!

Quod that is a super virtual cake! Sorry you had a bad birthday, Bebe. If it makes you feel any better, I bought my own present (DH bought his own present two weeks before), made my own cake, and on Saturday evening when I was expecting to be taken out, DH went out with a friend instead, leaving me in with the cat and said "it's not your birthday until Monday anyway". Men, eh?! I'm not at all bothered about the cake or the present but I was a bit miffed to be passed over on my birthday weekend when it wasn't even a big lads night out. I did get a bunch of flowers and a card though.

100years I guess you can expect to feel emotionally overwhelmed sometimes, so much is going on and its all so huge and incredible and nothing like anything you've experienced before. They say you have to mourn the loss of your old life, even as you are enjoying a wonderful new one.

Awayinamangercooper Fri 11-Nov-11 10:36:39

Whywait thanks for the birthday wishes. The spa was heavenly - just what I needed. And so wonderful not to have to sit there fretting about work.

WhyWait Fri 11-Nov-11 15:13:42

Hello All, hope you're all well! Hope everyone is well and have fun plans for the weekend!

I'm 38+4 today...still no signs but having some good BH - bizarrely they always make me need the toilet - weird!

Bebe have you spoken to DH about your birthday? I kinda think that a birthday is a chance for your friends and family to show how much they love you. DH should have put his worries to the side for a day and make you feel like a million dollars! Bebe if you were a RL friend, we would have had a shopping trip or gone to the cinema to see a chick flick, then had lunch out- with some wine (or a soft drink for me) and then I would have made the biggest pot of tea and we would have demolished your birthday cake!! Alternatively, we could take DD and had a trip to cotswold wildlife park - or similar.
Bebe so you know - we (the WIITS) love you lots!!!!!!

SPR hope you're okay after your fall - did you go to the hospital to get checked out? Take it easy. Its ironic that the more pregnant you get (and so the bigger you are) the more clumsy you are - nature certainly has a sense of humour!

100yrs I am getting excited, and after speaking to the m/w I'm trying to calm down and not be so impatient! I just don't want him to arrive in December as DH, my Dad's and my cousin all have birthdays and obviously there's christmas! I guess he'll come when he's ready.

It sounds like you've done really well with the weight loss- congrats! I know from the sounds of it you want to lose more - but you've done really well! I hope the rest comes off quickly!

AC Sounds like you had fun at the spa - so jealous! Shame that DH didn't make more of an effort over the weekend!
I can understand why you'd be ranting - people can be very black and white about parenthood, although I think the most maternal women can have 'oh sh1t, what am I letting myself in for' moments!

Awayinamangercooper Fri 11-Nov-11 22:26:55

Oh shit SPR I totally missed that you had a fall, are you ok?


I'm fine toe bruised and still a bit sore but I can move it now so all good. What a numpty!! I'm clumsy at the best of times and PG eems to be making me even worse than usual!

AC sorry to hear that you also had a bit of a dissappointing birthday. What is it with the WIIT husbands at the moment?? Gad hat the spa day was lovely though and hopefully the people ranting about parenthood haven;t upset you too much. Idiots!!!!

WW I can only imagine how impatient you are to meet your little one. Will keep everything crossed that he arrives safely very soon and that you don't have yet another December birthday!

100 you are doing brilliantly with the weightloss and seem to have taken to motherhood like the proverbial duck to water. I am sure that everybody has a weepy day now and then. Don't forget that there are still a ton of hormones rushing around your body and they are bound to have an impact.

Have pretty much done all my xmas shopping/making (other than for DH) and so today I went into town to get wrapping paper (feel so organised this year!!!) and have been wrapping up gifts. It's crazy but this is our last free weekend of 2011 and we're got family staying next weekend so the pressies need to be wrapped before being hidden in the spare room!!

Can't remember if I said but DH and I have booked a holiday for the end of the month to take advantage of the fact that we are both currently not working. 10 whole days of sunshine (hopefully) and relaxing - think it'll be a while before we have a holiday like that once Mini arrives!!!

Hope that everybody is having a lovely weekend.

100years Sat 12-Nov-11 19:40:16

Thanks everyone. Been feeling heaps better since the other day when I had a proper blub and spoke about what had been bothering me. I feel fab about how I'm doing with E, and how she is coming along and have no worries about how to take care of her, I think I had just let the disturbed nights bother me.

AC you know people are like everyone will have really strong opinions on things on here and as it's fairly anonymous people feel that they can say a lot more in a stronger way about things. I wouldn't worry about what the "if you're not sure" brigade say, it's good to think these things through properly.

WW, at most you have 3 wks and 2 days left now smile That's really not long in the grand scheme of things. smile And I'm a December baby myself, it's fine Thanks re the weight loss. I'm not worried about how quickly the rest comes off, I just want to take charge and not have the weight I've lost go back on.

Thanks SPR, yeah loads of hormones rushing around and I was a bag of hormones pre pregnancy anyway! Well done on getting your christmas shopping done smile Glad your toe is OK.

Just been out for tea with OH and LO, put her in the sling and she slept through the whole outing. smile Trapped my finger in the pram unfolding it yesterday, it is a bit bruised and hurts now, but it's not broken or anything daft and I didn't break the skin smile

Think I might nip into town tomorrow to see if I can get a couple of pairs of trousers. I'm still wearing my maternity trousers, but that's only because the rest of my trousers are all too big and fall down, whereas the maternity trousers have a bit (which should go over a bump) that is high enough to tuck into my bra and therefore not fall down. It's not a good look when I don't have a top on. I also need some new shoes.

Other than that I don't really have much to report.

MrsSatsuma Sun 13-Nov-11 10:39:54

Hi everyone

Sorry to have gone AWOL for so long. Partly because I now usually go on MN on my phone, and it takes AGES to type anything, partly because work is horrendously busy, and partly because ttc is pretty much the last thing on my mind at the mo, being as I am in a very co fusing place relationship-wise. Am enjoying reading about everyone, but if I'm not around much that's why!

bebeballroom Sun 13-Nov-11 13:56:50

Thanks for all the love you guys! WW you made me cry!! (In a nice way obviously! wink)

SPR - Glad you are ok, silly billy!! wink No more falls please! Sounds like you have a very busy time ahead of you? Loving the organisation. I'm feeling quite behind this year. My presents are usually all bought & wrapped by the first week of December but I've had other things on my mind! Where are you off to on holiday, somewhere lovely?

100 - Glad you are over the wobbly. I think it's perfectly normal to have down days. I still have days where it all just seems a bit too much & a good blub is really helpful, even if it doesn't fix things! Have a <hug> smile
Well done on all the weight loss, all that bfing must be helping too wink

WW - Try and enjoy your last few weeks of baby free-ness! And take it easy too, reserve your energy & all that! grin

AC - Maybe we should have a wine and comiserate with each other about our DHs 'approach' to birthday celebrations!! hmm It's my 30th next year, I shall be arranging my own party no doubt!! Glad you had a lovely time at the spa though, not at all envy wink

MrsS - un MN <hugs> just pop back when you need to, we are all still here to listen x

Had a chilled out sort of weekend. Made a slug costume (with optional shell/snail accessory grin) for DD. (Don't ask!!) Have started making some clay heart for tags for DDs teachers & key workers & pre-school. Had a cheeky MaccyDs brekkie this morning which was a mega treat & just the kind of junk I needed!

My back is still agony though which is making it hard to get anything productive done around the house. Not sure the tablets the GP gave me are working. Had letter from physio saying I have to ring up & book an appointment myself. hmm What's the point of a doctors referral if I have to book it? confused

DH still has 'man flu' & DD is still under the weather. If DH doesn't stop coughing every 30 seconds soon it may be kinder just to put him out of my misery!! wink

Anyways, need to turn a pair of DHs old socks into leg warmers for DDs costume...and watch Monsters inc! grin

Quodlibet Sun 13-Nov-11 19:04:14

Hello all!

Bebe I am really curious about the slug costume, I'm sure it'll be awesome.
100 sorry you've been a bit down - I think the tiredness is bound to get to you, I get really emotionally raw when I'm tired, definitely. Well done with your weight loss, that's so impressive. You should be really proud of yourself (and you definitely deserve a good shop!).

AC which AIBU thread were you ranting on? You put it very well upthread, it's such a hard sentiment to express the complexities of, and such an easy thing to have a knee-jerk reaction to. People just don't like admitting to or even hearing about complex and contradictory feelings in relation to children, do they? But actually it's such a complicated life-change and no wonder some people want to go round it very carefully from every angle, and will never feel 'certain' one way or another.

SPR arnica is good for bruising (ouch!). I am in awe of anyone who's sorted their xmas presents; I haven't done a single one and am actually still trying to sort birthday presents for my dad and DP (all next week). I think it might have to be a bit of a budget xmas from me this year as I don't have much work lined up in the first few months of next year at all.

MrsS, thinking of you and hoping you start to feel less confused soon.

We had a lovely time in Paris, although DP's friend (who we were staying with) has been quite seriously ill and is still undiagnosed, which was worrying. We had a few conversations about not taking your good health for granted, it's so easy to do, isn't it?

bebeballroom Mon 14-Nov-11 12:08:41

Quod - It's dressing up week at playgroup (for children in need) & DD wanted to be a slug....she's not your typical 3 year old girl! grin I'll try & put a pic on my profile later!

Glad you had a lovely time in Paris, must have been nice to go away with your DH?

bebeballroom Mon 14-Nov-11 12:09:18

DP sorry blush

bebeballroom Mon 14-Nov-11 14:34:13

Pic on profile of my slug!

Quodlibet Mon 14-Nov-11 15:24:36

Great slug! I love her unconventional approach to it all!

Yes it was nice to go away with DP...of course, he was primarily going for work and we piggybacked some holiday on the back of it. But I can't complain, it was v sweet of him to take me.

Awayinamangercooper Tue 15-Nov-11 10:27:58

SPR a holiday sounds like a wonderful idea, and as you say it will be a while before you can have a long relaxing break like that again (gulp!) so you and DH should make the most of this time. This is my third week off work now after quitting my job, and it's been lovely for DH and I to spend some quality time together with me feeling relaxed and calm for once. These last five years I've been like a tightly coiled spring the whole time. Now time to get the Christmas shopping done!

DH and I take a very laid back approach to each others birthdays, we don't tend to make a big thing of it, so that was pretty normal. I was only annoyed when he went out for the night with someone else!

100years lol at your fashion concerns, it does sound like you need some new trousers! Maybe just get a replacement bump asap so you fit into the maternity ones - tee hee!

MrsSatsuma I hope you are ok, we do miss you posting. I'm so sorry your relationship isn't going as you'd like it, it's possible to work through these things, if it's what you both want. If you want to talk about it, we're here.

Bebe if you and I have a drink to commiserate one another on our DH's antics, it won't be about birthday celebrations! Mine is dragging his heels about the Big Trip yet again. I've got STA Travel holding our flights, waiting for DH to book the time off work, but apparently he can't ring his boss to ask for holiday because "if you ring specificially to book holiday, it looks like you're desperate to book a holiday". WTF? So now we're supposed to wait until DH's boss happens to ring him to talk about something else (which mustn't be anything "important") and then DH will casually drop it into the conversation that he wouldn't mind some time off in 6 months time.

For your 30th birthday next year, we will all do what WW suggested. By then we will be way overdue for a meet up, and there will be lots of babies to meet as well. Not mine though, clearly as I shall still be waiting around for DH to book holiday from work. WW that was a lovely post.

Quod glad you had a fun time in Paris but sorry to hear about DP's friend. Did the conversations about not taking your health for granted spill over into conversations about not leaving it too long to TTC and the passing on of one's genes to the next generation?! grin

Erm... can't recall the title of the offending thread. Will have a look in a moment. Today I have set the Gruffalo the task of restraining me from posting anything stupid on the "Third baby" thread. Must remember that people want their third and fourth babies just as much if not more than I want my first.

Awayinamangercooper Tue 15-Nov-11 10:30:47

this one

I do wonder if the OP might be someone I'd recognise from the Ditherers or Waiting threads!

100years Tue 15-Nov-11 11:29:51

MrsS you can still come in here and post in here, even if you aren't thinking of TTC at the moment, we are as the saying goes In it together and that's through all stages of life, even if you aren't TTC anymore. smile I hope things are settling down for you.

Bebe, well the BF is certainly making me hungry, and therefore I am eating more, but it's the wrong kinds of things, hence why I have gone to SW to try and keep a check on it. Love the slug thing smile And sorry your back is still bad. sad

Thanks Quod. I hope your DP's friend gets a diagnosis soon.

AC yeah, I'll try for the bump but it might be a while. I have now got some new trousers though, so the issue isn't such a big one now. Oh FFS about it looking like your DH is 'desperate for a holiday' NO, it's just what normal people DO!!!

I think WW's idea of a day trip is fab. I would really like to meet you gals. smile If I were to think about organising something for say March time, would people be up for it? Mind you SPR is due in March, so that might not be the best time. May? Hmm. It's never going to be 100% convenient for everyone, but if we started to think about it now then we could possibly actually pull it off.

Anyway, I managed to go shopping on my own the other day, LO had a meltdown while I was out, but OH said I could/should do it again smile I got some trousers smile Yay.

LO has a poorly eye at the moment sad So I have to administer eye drops 4 times a day - yep that's easy with a 9 week old! Anyway she's doing OK with it.

We are going away for the weekend, Friday to Monday, up to Leeds, looking forward to that. smile Will see lots of friends, OH is doing a race and I will be taking LO to the pub after the race to meet up with loads of our running friends. I ran again last night, but my injury that I had before I got pregnant has not gone away and is hurting again today sad Boo sad

Quodlibet Wed 16-Nov-11 23:11:29

AC oh yes I saw that thread - a brilliant response from you, you put it really well. There's so much deeply illogical thinking around it all. I really identified with what Pacificdogwood said: "To me the OP sounded more like she wanted to have a family in principle, but had cold feet at the thought of it actually happening. She did not sound like she had doubts about whether or not having children was the right choice for her." I think that's how I feel at my less enthusiastic/more pragmatic times, if that makes sense.

Yes we did get around to the TTC conversation, or variants of, in Paris. DP said he has realised his feelings have changed over the past year and he can now identify a longing for children in himself, rather than thinking of it in a more abstract way, if that makes sense? So, a lovely thing to hear.

SPR whoohoo to your holiday! How many months will you be when you go (not that I'm trying to work out pg permutations around our overseas wedding at the end of may or anything....!)

A WIIT meet-up! That would be cool. Where though? We're all pretty spread about, aren't we?

Awayinamangercooper Thu 17-Nov-11 08:05:12

A quick question for anyone who's flown long haul: is the only way to get extra legroom to pay double for premium economy? DH is refusing to fly economy for comfort reasons (he is 6'4") which has thrown an expensive looking spanner in the works.

Quodlibet Thu 17-Nov-11 11:04:13

You can always get in quick with the online check-in with BA etc and bagsy the seats upfront/by the exits if they're still free but it doesn't guarantee you a seat...which route are you considering flying? Some routes aren't that busy and you could end up with 3 seats to yourself.

100years Thu 17-Nov-11 14:25:36

Quod, that is lovely to hear from your DP smile

Never flown long haul myself so I don't know.

WIIT meet, instead of doing this in the thread where anyone can see and people might not want to say where they are living if you want to PM me and say where you are and how far you are willing to travel and I'll try and see if I can work out a good compromise.

Home alone tonight (and today) with pumpkin who has turned into a grizzly bum over the past few days. sad Proper melt down from her last night sad Hope she is calmer tonight for me on my own. I know I will be OK, it's just easier to deal with grumpy grot with someone as opposed to alone.

Quodlibet Thu 17-Nov-11 17:25:47

AC is your DH's expensive spanner the legendary Pedlar's 695 one by any chance?

Hi all

Sorry I've been absent this week. Had a trip to London to catch up with friends and raid Topshop maternity!! Just back today and having a relaxing bath!

Holiday is to Mauritius and I can't bloody wait!! I'll be 25 weeks when we fly out there so well within the dates but am getting a "fit to fly" note from the GP just in case.

AC. Grrrrrrr at DH for chucking obstacles in the way of TBT...... Check out the BA sale as we're going World Traveller Plus and it was only an extra £300 pp return so pretty good. Think you can also pay to reserve seats on BA flights but your best bet is to call their booking line. They are so helpful whenever I book flights over the phone.

Forgotten everything else and am on phone so can't check back!! Would be keen for a meet up but maybe not if it's March!!! I'm in Bath, about 40 mins drive from Bebe I think.

Hope everybody is well x

100years Thu 17-Nov-11 18:51:03

Oooh enjoy the bath SPR. smile Lucky you having a nice holiday smile We still have to plan a holiday for us next year, not sure where it will be yet. I kind of miss the sun, but going abroad with a LO poses more 'challenges', I'd like to not 'stress' too much on the journey there.

Awayinamangercooper Thu 17-Nov-11 20:08:17

Quod that is so nice to hear about your DP, sorry I didn't say so before, I just posted and ran. And in Paris as well - how romantic! <gushes>

Guys thanks for your help and I am very pleased to announce that The Big Trip is BOOKED! We're flying Virgin Atlantic and we've paid £120 for extra legroom, which is much cheaper than premium economy. 5 May is the date, returning 19 May. Woo hoo!!

100years Thu 17-Nov-11 20:09:24

Excellent news AC smile grin

Awayinamangercooper Thu 17-Nov-11 20:34:02

Like all our holidays it was booked by me while DH was out. He is now very excitedly looking at American hire cars.

bebeballroom Thu 17-Nov-11 21:43:13

Well done AC!! grin sometimes these men just need a big push to get on board! wink

SPR, v envy of ur holiday!! Have a fabulous time!

100, I'm near Gloucester but depending when meet up is I prob wouldn't want to be more than a couple of hours drive coz I doubt I'd be able to afford to stay over. Although my mum lives near Bedford so can stay with her if we meet up further afield or London way! Hope that makes sense!

Having a crappy day, finally succumbing to the dreaded lurgy that DH and DD have. My bank account has been changed to a new type of account which is utterly useless and I can only change it by setting up a new account and transferring standing orders etc across. angry
And to top it off the bank (different bank) have decided to take the overdraft facility off our joint account with 7 months left to review! Why????? When it rains it pours, it's the last thing we need! Sometimes I just wonder what we did to piss the universe off? hmm

AC that is amazing news!! Hurrah for TBT next year smile

Bebe sorry youre feeling so crappy and that the crap stuff just seems to keep finding you at the moment. The universe desperately needs to make it up to you very soon. Think it could be time to think about euromillions tickets....?

Just heard that one of DHs really good friends and his wife (I haven't known his wife that long but we get on incredibly well) are expecting twins. So exciting to have friends with babies at a similar time and lovely for the boys to go through it all together!!

It looks like maternity leave is going to be a great year!!

Awayinamangercooper Fri 18-Nov-11 09:20:13

SPR that's lovely news! Not sure if I fancy twins myself, even though it would avoid the need to repeat all this FOF madness with #2. It will be brilliant to have a RL friend to go through it all with.

God Bebe what are you going to do about your overdraft? I live in mine, I'd be stuffed if they took it off me.

bebeballroom Fri 18-Nov-11 09:35:55

SPR - That is so lovely, I'd have loved a friend with a baby/ies when I had DD. How exciting! Lots of long leisurely lunches and outings then! grin

AC - FOFF is not necessarily going to happen. DH had no FOF 1st time round. DD can be a handful but I don't think she is that bad, but she seems to have put DH off completely!

No idea about overdraft. We weren't due an annual review until end of May & despite all the crap we haven't really been stuck in it, just dipping in and out. Unfortunately DH has work 'issues' (legal stuff, getting nasty) with this particular bank & it all seems a little suspect TBH. hmm Definitely time to think about getting a safe installed at home or hollowing out the mattress!

Right, off to make cupcakes. Diet has completely gone out of the window & the lbs are creeping back on sad Up about 8lbs on where I was a year ago! Bugger! blush

Awayinamangercooper Fri 18-Nov-11 10:30:26

Bebe we have this dragging feet and general reluctance with everything and in the end I always force the issue and as soon as the decision is made DH is always perfectly happy bragging away to his friends as though it was all his idea all along. Silly man child.

I'm not sure a hollowed out mattress will give you an overdraft!

bebeballroom Fri 18-Nov-11 10:59:54

Well the bank won't either so not exactly losing anything!! grin

Quodlibet Fri 18-Nov-11 17:51:18

GREAT news on the Big Trip, well done you. Your DH sounds like he has Fear of Decisions generally rather than FOF specifically...

Bebe that's a nightmare. We don't have an overdraft on our joint account and it's so bloody annoying, we've got stung a few times for going overdrawn.

SPR your Maldives trip sounds lush. Winter sun is just so lovely. What is the limit on flying when pg, do you know?

Awayinamangercooper Sat 19-Nov-11 10:08:02

It's great news on the trip but yet another at least six month delay on TTC. And that's assuming he doesn't put it back again.

SPR what date do you go? It can't be long now.

Awayinamangercooper Mon 21-Nov-11 08:29:17

Well here it is. The first day of the new job! Now, how does one nonchalantly asked for a copy of the maternity policy ?!

Really bricking it that I won't know anything and they'll "find me out!"

Quodlibet Mon 21-Nov-11 11:41:46

Woohooo! Hope it goes really really well. I've got no idea how you get hold of that kind of thing, no-one ever offers it to you do they? Maybe in some recess of the HR server somewhere? Surely it should be freely available for staff somewhere, in principle?!?

bebeballroom Mon 21-Nov-11 11:55:40

Good Luck AC!!

Good luck AC!! Am pretty sure that it usually in the employee handbook (it has been at all my jobs) and so you could ask for a copy of that and make yourself look really keen!!

Hope that it all goes well today.

Awayinamangercooper Mon 21-Nov-11 17:41:08

Ok I need a year's continuous service by the 11th week before the EWC, so if I've got this right, the earliest we could TTC and still qualify is 5.5 months from now, which fits in perfectly with our TBT plans!!

WhyWait Mon 21-Nov-11 19:04:55

Hello Ladies, congrats on starting the new job ac.

Just a quick message to say that Edward Caelan arrived on Saturday (two days early) at 13.26 weighing in at 9lbs! Labour started with my waters breaking at 7.45am - so a pretty quick labour. I had my water birth and only used a tens machine as pain relief (as you may be able to tell I'm very pleased with myself!)

He is truly gorgeous and I am totally smitten. Breastfeeding has been a challenge but because Teddy has been so sleepy and chilled - but I'm hoping that things will get better soon!

Awayinamangercooper Mon 21-Nov-11 19:22:07

Whywait congratulations!! Ooh another baby WIIT! Lush!

bebeballroom Mon 21-Nov-11 20:24:37

Yay WW!!! Massive congratulations!! Clever you! grin

LOVE the name Edward, it'd be on my shortlist for a potential DS if it wasn't DHs nephews name! Love it! Love IT! grin And Teddy is a fab NN!

AC - Fantastic that the Mat leave stuff ties in with your TBT plans! Yay!! smile

Congratulations WW. Great name and well done you for doing it so quickly!! Can I order a birth like that please?!?!

AC. Perfect news on your maternity stuff all tying in with TBT.

100years Tue 22-Nov-11 22:16:34

WW congratulations smile Lovely name and a great weight smile Well done on the Tens machine and water birth smile

Only very briefly on here due to the time, will try and catch up tomorrow. smile

Quodlibet Thu 24-Nov-11 12:11:11

Congratulations WW! Edward is a great name, and well done on the birth. Looking forward to seeing a pic if/when you have time.

SPR - I think that makes you next in line to the birthing throne <eek!>

AC - that's great about your maternity policy.

Congratulations WW! Lovely name, well done with your labour! I'm sure breastfeeding will become more straightforward as you both get used to it. Really pleased for you- it's the best feeling in the world holding your LO for the first time. Have fun and enjoy your new family xxx

Hope the new job is going well AC, I'm sure you are impressing everyone, great news about TBT and the maternity policy- almost sounds like fate.....

Sending some good luck vibes your way bebe- you are due for some good news soon I'm sure x

Don't worry about labour SPR- it's an amazing experience x

100years Thu 24-Nov-11 21:47:58

SPR, don't worry I will not make it March as it would be ace for you to come along. And looks like it would need to be end of May to make sure AC can come along after TBT. smile Might need to pencil in a date soonish to make sure we can do something.

Bebe, I take it your lurgy has gone now? It doesn't feel like a week ago since I posted properly, but it obviously is.

SPR it is lovely to have someone else to share baby things with smile Twins wow smile I had no worries about the prospect of having twins if it had happened, and getting pregnant while breastfeeding has a higher incidence of twins, so if anything were to happen while I'm feeding I know there is that chance! And as strawberry says Labour is am amazing experience.

AC great that your maternity policy works out like that smile

Had a long weekend in Leeds at the weekend. LO was fab, although she's still having the occasional 'meltdown' But seems to be (fingers crossed I don't jinx it) sleeping a bit longer at night, at least one long stretch each night now which is fab, so last night I managed a 5 1/2 hr sleep. Was great to catch up with a load of friends there smile

I'm now up to 1800mls of milk for the milk bank smile Go me smile Managing to do about 200mls each morning, sometimes more sometimes slightly less, so saving some for LO and the majority for the milk bank.

Taken LO swimming again as she had a bad eye last week and we couldn't go, but we went this week and she had 3 dunkings. She was fine for the majority of the session, but did have a few tears part way through.

I'm trying to think of what else there is to say, and I'm stuck at the moment. When I go away from here I will think of something to say I'm sure!

Awayinamangercooper Fri 25-Nov-11 08:36:21

Wow 100years that's amazing, what a nice thing to be able to do! What does your OH make of it all?

Glad you enjoyed your weekend in Leeds, it's great when you get to see old friends isn't it? I have to make more of an effort with mine, before they all forget who I am!

Feeling a bit down today thinking about the next long six months and particularly Christmas. Exciting to be doing TBT but can't help but see it as an obstacle to getting what a want and not a lovely holiday. Maybe it's just glum time of the month.

Quodlibet Fri 25-Nov-11 11:17:49

100 that is really impressive. Is it used for premmies?

AC, sorry you're feeling like that - from an outside perspective it looks like you've just achieved a few major coups in a row and have got the stars to line up in a really good way - but I can understand how having done that the waiting stretch is still interminable. Is there anything else you can fit in the 'waiting' bit to make it feel less like waiting, iyswim? Maybe set some fitness targets or something?

The TTC plans over here have had a curveball thrown in too. I've been umming and ahhing about telling you guys this but could do with the support and perspectives really. Basically, my younger sister found out this week (and confided in me) that she is unintentionally pregnant - failed condom, failed MAP. She is 3 months into her NQT year, on a temp contract, so not ideal timing-wise at all. But the real issue is that her boyfriend is not ready at all. They're both in shock, facing a really hard set of choices and I'm trying to support her.

Whilst obviously her emotional wellbeing and making the right choice are paramount, we're both aware of the irony of the fact that if it had happened to me, not her, it would all be pretty straightforward and probably a happy accident. She (bless her) feels guilty on one level because she knows I've been waiting to TTC for a long time - I've told her not to be stupid. It's all a bit of a big old mess really. The only slight saving grace <hollow laugh> is that DP and I came very very close, before we knew, to throwing caution to the wind this month but didn't as we got interrupted blush - otherwise I'd potentially be on the 2WW which would be, frankly, a horrendous set of circumstances when my sister is off to Marie Stopes to talk about her options. But basically, my TTC plans are going right on the backburner for as long as it takes to support my sister through, one way or the other.

Sorry, this is a bit of a ramble and quite sensitive stuff but I'm really feeling like having an outlet with some people who understand all the issues would be helpful.

Awayinamangercooper Fri 25-Nov-11 17:06:04

Oh Quod what a nightmare! Your poor sister must be going out of her mind. Right in the middle of the NQT year is not ideal, aren't the first two years of teaching meant to be by far the most demanding physically and mentally. Looking on the bright side, at least she's not in the middle of the PGCE.

You must have very mixed feelings about it all, after all the time you and DP have spent meticlously planning and dithering and worrying about the timing of your own DC. I guess in some ways it puts all those concerns in perspective. As you say, if it had happened to you rather than her, it would have been a happy accident.

She is lucky to have a lovely sister to talk about it with.

Quodlibet Sat 26-Nov-11 11:47:58

Thanks AC that's a lovely thing to say. Yes it totally puts all our dithering in perspective, but I think the thing that I'm sad about from my own POV is that I'd always imagined my sister and I enjoying each other's pregnancies together in an uncomplicated way that somehow might not be possible now, or might be different sad

The NQT year is a bastard - and her dates would mean she'd possibly not even complete it if she went ahead with the pg as she wouldn't get to the end of the academic year. I just feel really sad that this has happened to her and she's in such a horrid position.

bebeballroom Sun 27-Nov-11 15:14:09

Oh Quod, sad I'm not sure I have any real words of wisdom at all. What bloody awful timing for your poor sister and the toughest decision for her to make. Hope she makes the right decision for her, sending hugs and supportive vibes for you all.

SPR, hope u are having a lovely holiday... Not at all envy!!! wink

Have the delights of a visit from my MIL today, last thing I want when I have the period from hell. Cramps so bad this morning they felt like contractions and made me physically sick! sad I'm never like that so not sure why it's so bad!

Awayinamangercooper Sun 27-Nov-11 16:32:19

What happens if you don't complete the year? Do you have to repeat it when you go back after maternity leave? I was so paranoid about this happening to me when I was a trainee, it was my biggest relief upon qualifying.

Bebe that doesn't sound normal. I hope you're ok.

Quodlibet Sun 27-Nov-11 18:27:52

Bebe brew and [thereisn'tahotwaterbottleone]. Ow poor you.

Been out with sis this pm. She had a pretty shitty time at the clinic - was booked in for counselling but there was a godawful mix-up and she ended up instead with a very blunt and unfriendly woman scanning her (with the screen visible) and then demanding to know which procedure she wanted to book for. Poor sis was barely able to articulate for crying that she hadn't made a decision and just wanted to talk to someone angrysadangry.
If she doesn't complete the NQT year she could come back and finish it where she'd left off apparently, but she would have to find another job to do that most likely as she's on a one-year temp contract now so hardly likely they'd keep her on.
She's actually dealing with it all remarkably well and her OH is actually being really good, but it's still horrible seeing her wrestle with all that.

Awayinamangercooper Sun 27-Nov-11 19:28:05

Oh dear god how awful for her, as if she's not going through enough. Really services for woman are just crap aren't they, you don't really believe it till it happens to somebody you know. I'm glad her OH is being supportive.

bebeballroom Sun 27-Nov-11 21:02:25

Thanks guys! smile Having some chocolate, still feel rubbish but think the fact that I have a cold coming & a bad back (still) is making it all seem worse!!

Quod - That is just horrendous your poor DSis, how insensitive. Lovely that her OH is being so supportive. The option that she could re-start her NQT year is good though, even if it's not straightforward.

100years Sun 27-Nov-11 22:14:21

AC, my OH is really cool about it, he has been very supportive of it. Most of the friends we saw are friends of my OH initially, ones I have made through him, but a couple I knew without being introduced by him, it's odd, I don't have a huge number of friends, the one is only about 15 miles from me, the others are a distance away. But I only have one person who I still contact from when I was at school. Makes me a bit sad I used to think I must be a bad person, but I realised that I was bullied a lot and so rightly so I wouldn't have kept contact with a lot of the people I thought were friends. I wouldn't think of it as a long 6 months, maybe think of it as the last 6 months of ultimate freedom, when you start TTC it might take over your life and then you will be thinking about 2ww, symptom spotting OPKs, when to SWI etc etc etc. Although I reckon you would probably enjoy going through those things now, you have a few months to not have to worry about them. I'm probably just talking shit, I know how the last few months before we started I was quite desperate to start!

Quod, yeah mostly premmies and very sick babies whose mothers can't express or feed themselves. It's something I wanted to do when I was pregnant and always expected to have enough milk to do it, as it is I have ample, and usually manage to express over 200mls, so do 200 for the milk bank and the rest for LO, however OH is now helping with the settle to bed routine, so I may end up doing 100 for the milk bank so there is more for LO at night as he fed her tonight and then she immediately took another decent feed from me!

Re your sister, wow, that must be hard for both of you. For her she has the big decision on what to do, I would hate to be in a situation like that, I always said I wouldn't ever abort if I had got pregnant by accident, but I do understand people who choose to. It must be horrible for her to be thinking of what to do, one way she is missing the end of her NQT year, the other way she is missing having a baby, either of which she might regret in the long run, it's which she would 'regret' more. It's a very emotive subject and a decision that only she and her BF can make, but either way she will need (and I have no doubt, get) support from you. Also for you, having waited for so long it's hard to see someone else get pregnant and be facing a massive decision about it. I remember my sister ringing me the once with 'big news' and me feeling a bit "oh I hope she isn't pregnant" as I wanted it so badly at the time, I would have been very chuffed for her, but also felt a bit jealous, she wasn't in a stable position at the time and it would have been very hard for her, but as it happened she wasn't, but I did feel a bit bad for thinking that. Hugs for you.

I wrote that bit before I read your later post about the clinic appointment. How horrible, what a thing to do, people go there for something that is a big, massive and usually very very hard decision, to have someone be unfriendly and blunt about which procedure they want shouldn't happen whether they have made that decision or not. Did she get someone to talk to in the end?

Bebe, hope your cramps ease off and that your cold comes to nothing.

Really busy week this week! The next day I have chance to do very little is Saturday, although technically it's friday, but it's 12 week jabs then, so it will be an odd day as I don't know how she will be after them. Yes LO will be 12 weeks this coming friday!!! OMGG, 12 weeks. I think she's stirring from sleep now, so I'm going to post this and nip off otherwise I won't have posted anything at all!

bebeballroom Thu 01-Dec-11 08:45:47

Quod - how is your sister? Hope you are all ok, sending un MNy <hugs>

100 - I think it's such a fab thing that you are doing re:milk bank. Would have loved to have been able to do something like that! Well done you! smile

It's my wedding anniversary today. So far, better than my birthday! hmm smile

Box of sea shell chocs, not uber posh but I do love them, and Michael Buble Christmas CD which I wanted blush Tesco Finest Meal Deal jobby for tonight. Made DH some Marzipan fruits (4 years, is fruit and flowers & I have exhausted gift ideas for Christmas & his birthday (January)) so he is pleased with those, and I think they look great...even if I do say so myself! This time 4 years ago I was about 5 weeks PG!

Quodlibet Thu 01-Dec-11 11:11:18

Aww happy anniversary Bebe! Nice to see your DH has pulled his socks up.

My sis is OK thanks. I went with her yesterday to her re-scheduled counselling session which she found really helpful. She's still entirely in two minds about it all but coping really well. (She said to me, 100, that she always thought she'd never be able to consider a termination before this happened either). The job situation might not be as bad as first feared but her OH is still a long way off ready for parenthood, and that's really the main issue. He's very much a pragmatist, whereas she's a 'consider it from all sides/anything can be turned into a positive' type person. I really have no idea which way they'll swing, and they've got a couple more weeks to decide if they need them. Had to admit to my DP last night that I do find it emotionally draining supporting her and being as neutral as she needs me to be, when actually I will be really sad if she terminates, even though it may well be the best thing for them IYSWIM?

100 I think your milkbanking is an incredible thing to do too.

How's everyone else?

bebeballroom Fri 02-Dec-11 16:14:27

Quod - Glad the 2nd appt went well. Must be so awful and draining emotionally. Like I said before, really hope she makes the right decision for her, whatever that might be. I don't think anyone really knows how they truly feel about termination until they have been in the situation where they have to consider it. So tough! sad <un MNy hugs>

100years Sat 03-Dec-11 16:13:15

Thanks both re the milk bank comments smile I took the milk in the other day and then discovered that someone I work with had her baby at 27 weeks gestation! has been discharged this week after 10 weeks in hospital. Baby shouldn't even have been born yet!

Happy anniversary Bebe, glad your DH did a good job on your birthday and didn't do the same as your birthday.

Quod, it's totally normal to find it hard to support your sister. Hugs

Tired out today! Feeling a bit where is the big armchair, fire and hot choc and cake! Could easily fall asleep if I was given the chance.

Awayinamangercooper Sat 03-Dec-11 16:21:23

Oh god 100years please don't say that about it taking over my life - after all this waiting I can't bear to contemplate it taking us a long time, even though I know it's more than likely at my age. Thinking of the last six months of ultimate freedom is a better thought, although freedom to do what I don't know! I might dig out that list I did -years- ages ago of things to do before ttc and check I've done them all. Maybe add some more if I can think of any.

Anyway OV'ing now, so there's January's OV, Feb, March, April and then suppose we could TTC at the beginning of May, I'm just not sure of my dates and don't want to get it wrong and miss out on mat pay. How is it calculated I wonder.

Good to hear that your DH is supportive of all the milk donation, it must take up a lot of your time. Don't wear yourself out! How lovely to think you are helping all the premature babies to battle through those first weeks. What an amazing gift.

How does it all work? Has the milk bank given you storage jars and stuff to use? Do they come to your place and collect it? Do you freeze it?

How were the 12 week jabs? Was Edith good? Did -you- she cry?

Awayinamangercooper Sat 03-Dec-11 16:25:04

Ohh xposted! Hello!

Awayinamangercooper Sat 03-Dec-11 16:29:41

Bebe I'm really glad you had a nice anniversary. Well done Mr Bebe! Did you know you were pg at 5 weeks? Had you just found out at the time of your anniversary?

I shall know where to send all the seashell chocs I get now, I really don't like them but I always seem to get them as presents!

Awayinamangercooper Sat 03-Dec-11 16:33:17

Quod glad to hear things are going ok. It's not a nice situation, but it sounds like she has a lot of good support and loving people around her. When I was doing my legal training, particularly the academic stages I'm pretty sure I would have terminated a an accidental pregnancy, but as you say how can you know what you would do until you are actually in the situation and know how you feel?

I am not surprised that you are finding it emotionally draining supporting her and being neutral. I would be feeling exactly the same if it was my sister. Such conflicting emotions.

100years Sat 03-Dec-11 16:45:55

Hello AC smile To be fair, the TTC did 'take over' my life the first month, but I hated that side of always thinking about it and so I made an effort to not let that happen in the second month and low and behold that's when I got pregnant. I'm not saying that I got pregnant because I was more chilled about it, but at least it was a more relaxed month smile But I know for some it can.

Re mat pay, will be different for every company, ours went on a estimated week of delivery(EWD) thing as opposed to an EDD, but the pay only starts from the date you book the leave to start. It's if you are off work sick that things change wrt the EWD.

The milk donation takes up about half an hour altogether, plus the washing the pump time later on, and LO sits in her bouncy chair and smiles and coos at me and most of the time I time it so she has a little nap while I'm pumping smile They give you the bottles to use and you fill them (100ml bottles) and freeze them, then when you have a few (or run out of freezer room) then you drop them off at the hospital. They don't unfortunately have the collection service anymore, but it's only a few miles from me and it's an out.

Thanks for asking. Her 12 week jabs weren't as good as the 8 week jabs. She was a big whingey before we went in as I had had to wake her up from a nap after she had only been asleep a few mins and I think she was hungry and so was a bit off before she was jabbed, so the jabs this time made her cry properly, but once she had started feeding after she was fine. I'm fine about having them done tbh, I have no worries about it and take a pragmatic view on the whole thing, it's something she needs to have done, and I've never worried about me getting jabs so I'm not worried about her having her jabs. I'm not a nervous person about things like that tbh.

Awayinamangercooper Sat 03-Dec-11 17:25:04

Our mat pay is a year's continuous service by the eleventh week before the EWD. What's the difference between EWD and EDD? Do they use the date the doctor gives as the due date, and is that always calculated by reference to the first day of the last period before conception I wonder? There must be a website on this surely! I suppose any sane person would just leave a month's buffer before TTC!

I'm glad she's ok after the jabs, poor little thing having a cry. It must be strange for her. Not the same but we had to take the cat the the vet for a blood test last night and he had to have a patch of fur shaved from his neck and then the blood drawn from his neck while a vetinary nurse held his head back. Poor little thing must have wondered what on earth was happening.

Quodlibet Sat 03-Dec-11 18:29:31

AC that sounds totally confusing, I'm lost already!
From what I've read the doctor date (which is vague as doesn't take account of different cycle lengths and assumes 28 days) is sometimes adjusted/corrected at dating scans. Have had to look up all this to help my sister work out dates and time limits, which (shockingly again) she's had confusing info on.

We've talked a bit about how, if she does decide not to continue the pregnancy, one thing she's worried about is that she's going to find it very hard to deal with people close to her having babies, which is totally understandable. Obviously this extends to me - I'm trying to put out of my head the little (selfish) voice asking how it will affect our TTC plans and what we should do (oh god it all just seems impossible) until she's actually made a decision. Such terrible timing really all round.

AC I hate having to hold pets to be treated at the vet! So distressing! I can't imagine what it would be like with a baby.

Any exciting weekend plans anyone? I'm working both today and tomorrow, but off out in a bit for a friend's birthday drinks (DP is away all weekend again).

Quodlibet Sat 03-Dec-11 18:32:39

PS - I feel like a pretty awful person even thinking the above, let alone writing it down blush

100years Sat 03-Dec-11 20:34:04

Right, AC... EWD/EDD/11th week stuff
Let's work on how it was for me and see if that helps you.
My work week for HR purposes starts on a Sunday.
My EDD was Thursday 1st Sept.
My EWD started on Sunday 28th August.
My 11th week before EWD was June 12th.
My LMP was actually 30th Nov, but my date was brought forward at the scan which made my LMP look like it was 25th Nov! So bear that in mind...
EDD is the date that they give you at the scan, so although my EDD from my LMP was the 6th Sept, after the scan I was given an EDD of 1st Sept which is what I had to put down for work purposes. They then work on that to do the EWD.
I think it's standard that the 11th week before EWD is when you can actually start your maternity leave, so technically you could have worked a year and then start your maternity leave at the point where you also qualify for your work's maternity pay. When I hit the 11th week before EWD I was 28+3 wks pregnant, if your EDD is a Saturday then you would be 28+1 at that point! So I could have started my mat leave at only just over 28 weeks pregnant!

If I were you I would work back from your 12 month point at work. To be safe count back no more than 27 weeks in case your EDD is moved forward like mine was. Then consider that point to be the safe point to start TTC. If your period is a few days before that then check the dates carefully before going for it. If you want to PM your dates and where you think you can TTC after I'd be happy to look at them as well to help you. I'm not an expert, but I can be a fresh pair of eyes if it helps. smile What I've written looks really confusing now, but I have re read it and re written it about 10 times and that's not helped me. I'm happy to PM stuff if you want to.

Yeah, must be weird having someone come along and stick something sharp in you when you can't understand what it is. She's pretty good though, and only one more set in 3 weeks time until she is about 12 months old. Your poor kitty too.

Quod, you are not an awful person at all. I have to put LO to bed now, but I'll PM you as soon as I can.

Awayinamangercooper Sat 03-Dec-11 20:37:14

Oh Quod I don't think it should affect your TTC plans too much and I'm sure your sister wouldn't want it to. Obviously you can't rush in immediately and make an announcement next month, but you put TTC on hold for whatever indeterminate period you imagine it might take for her to adjust. And I'm sure she wouldn't want you to.

Also, when there was all that furore about the Eastenders baby snatching story line a lot of the testimonies from women who'd lost babies were about how other women having babies didn't make any difference to them at all, their grief was all focused on the loss of their own baby and other people having or not having babies didn't matter. So her worries might be justified, but then again they might not.

No exciting plans this weekend, nothing to do at all. Been to DH's grandma's for lunch, then Sainsbury's and am now moping out on my own watching telly as DH is out with his big band of mates, whereas all my friends either have smal children or are pregnant, or live miles away, or both, or all three. Going to my mum and dad's for tea tomorrow. Yesterday went to the vet and then to my mother in law's. Grim!

Awayinamangercooper Sat 03-Dec-11 20:38:45

Oops 100years xposted again!

Awayinamangercooper Sat 03-Dec-11 20:45:41

Damn your calculations are the same as mine. 27 weeks would take me back to 16 May. Now is that the earliest safe date for the LMP before starting to TTC, or is it the earliest safe date for actual conception? I don't think it matters, because AF is likely to be around May 16 and OV around May 30.

I was hoping it would work out a bit earlier, so we could TTC on the trip, but tbh I can't see DH going for that - no doubt it would ruin his holiday.

Quodlibet Sun 04-Dec-11 15:58:22

Couldn't wait to tell you all - my sister rang to tell me I'm going to be an Aunty! The relief and joy in her voice was wonderful to hear. gringringrin

Now she's campaigning for me to catch up so we can go through it all together smile

Awayinamangercooper Sun 04-Dec-11 17:03:16

Quod that's lovely news! Wouldn't it be nice for the little cousins to be the same age!

Quodlibet Sun 04-Dec-11 18:26:21

Yep that would be brilliant! Let's just hope I've also inherited the conceives-super-easy gene wink

Awayinamangercooper Sun 04-Dec-11 18:36:28

So do you think you might start TTC straight away? How big's your sister's head start? grin

the100yearsofchristmas Sun 04-Dec-11 18:41:00

AC, I would say the 27 weeks would be the earliest LMP date, otherwise you will be 29 weeks at the point you've counted back from if you have that as your conception date.

Quod, that's fab stuff smile I'm glad she is happy about it, I'm sorry I didn't get round to messaging you last night, time went away from me when putting LO down I then did some house stuff.

Oh and it's ME obviously

Quodlibet Sun 04-Dec-11 19:57:10

We'll see, need another chat with DP but I think he's pretty close to the starting line. Sis is about 8 weeks so she'd have at least a 3 month head start wink

Awayinamangercooper Sun 04-Dec-11 22:35:11

Well that works out - just. Not much margin for error though. And obv it's dependant on cycles working out pretty consistent. And DH agreeing... actually it's probably not happening!

100 - like the festive name! Didn't spot the name change initially and wondered what you meant!

Quod ooh get chatting pronto!

the100yearsofchristmas Tue 06-Dec-11 18:45:21

Oooh Quod, get seducing your DP then smile ;)

AC I really hope it does work for you. Keeping my fingers firmly crossed.

Fantastic news Quod! Wouldn't it be great to share the experience with your sister- exciting times!

I've got my work Xmas meal tonight....the first time I have gone anywhere without Emma! Eeek! I have been expressing so DH can give Hera bottle and we have practiced with the bottle a few times so it should be fine. I'm a bit worried about my boobs becoming really engorged- I might end up expressing in the toilets!

How is everyone doing? Ready for Christmas? <hollow laughter>

Awayinamangercooper Sat 10-Dec-11 11:27:31

It's been a bit quiet on here lately! Are all the LOs taking your attention away from MN? I'm sure I read in the DM that it was the other way round! grin

My life seems to be going back to normal after years of extreme work stress. It sounds stupid but I'm really noticing that I'm functioning so much better on a practical level, doing normal things like sending christmas cards! I don't know yet how this job is going to work out (waiting for the bubble to burst) but if it gets bad like the other one, I'm going to pack it in and do something else.

Just in the hairdressers with a magazine and a cup of coffee. Not too bad!

In other news I have applied to be a BESH. A dubious move seeing as I don't meet the criteria, but the Waiting threads are not really helping me anymore. I don't feel like I really have much of a connection with anyone on there, they are all waiting two months or so. I'm turning into the elephant in the room.

Awayinamangercooper Sat 10-Dec-11 11:29:53

Strawberry enjoy your night out, it's nice for Emma to have some daddy's girl time, and it will be good for you to see all your work friends. What are you wearing?

Sorry been a bit AWOL again. I have been reading but just never had time to sit & post without a screaming 3 year old bouncing on me!

Quod - That is brilliant news about your sister!! Hopefully you won't be too far behind her!! Maybe you could have a very Merry Christmas?! wink wink <nudge> <nudge>

AC - All the working out of weeks has made me a bit cross eyed lol grin Hope you get it sorted! Glad the new job is giving you a better work/life balance, long may it continue. Also FX on convincing DH!! I haven't been on the waiting thread in months I just didn't 'fit' there anymore. sad Not really sure what the BESH criteria are?! confused

Strawberry - Hope you enjoyed your first night out alone! Bit daunting I know, but it's a good idea to do non mummy things! grin

Think I am further away than ever from convincing DH to TTC. DD is being such a handful at the moment & it's really dragging me down being 'shouty mummy' all the time. As a result all me & DH do is bicker and argue with each other. sad He's so stressed with work, and it's really disrupting our home life & some days all I want to do is run away from it all. I wake up & don't want to think about what's going on & everything will be fine until DH rings or comes home & his black mood just drags me down again! <sigh> For better or worse right?!

Awayinamangercooper Sun 11-Dec-11 09:19:04

<joyful> Hello Bebe!! smile smile smile smile I have missed you!

I got cross-eyed too, thank goodness for 100years and her mathematical genius! But it's important to have the exact date pinpointed when DH will change his mind and break my heart again. Wouldn't do to be one or two weeks out with that!

I have to be honest, everything sounds pretty awful. Is there any way DD could spend a weekend at your mum's to give you guys a bit of a break? This awful situation will pass in the end you know, DD will be going to school full time, you'll be able to work on your cake business, this intense stress just can't go on forever.

Quodlibet Sun 11-Dec-11 12:41:33

Hello all - hurrah, I thought everyone had disappeared. Where's SPR gone? Is she on holiday yet?

AC it's really great about your job being so much less stressful. That kind of stress can just eat at every aspect of your life, can't it? And it becomes really hard to recognise that it's not just 'normal' in my experience.

Bebe that does sound rubbish, and AC's right I think it does sound like the two of you are in desperate need of some relaxation time together to reconnect. I appreciate that that may be impossible. Sorry it's all being so rubbish for you. Are things still as dire for him on the work front?

Strawberry how was your works do? Did Emma and you cope OK? We had our 'work' do yesterday (well, my work lot are all also very close friends) and had one of our number's three month old daughter along, she's ever so sweet.

MAJOR developments over here - we've had the chat and DP is up for ditching the contraception and giving it a go. He had a really strong emotional reaction to my sister's news and says it has triggered something in him and connected it all up. This has put me into a complete head spin - after such a long time with him being the obstacle, now that he's not the obstacle anymore I don't know how I feel at all, apart from quite terrified/overawed of the prospect of all that having-a-baby business <wibbles>. Clearly you are all going to think I am being ridiculous!

Awayinamangercooper Sun 11-Dec-11 20:04:00

Ha ha I will be just the same Quod! A friend of mine on fb started a thread earlier about what a hard time she was having with her toddler and then loads of people pitched in to say "god yes it's so relentless etc". Things like that make me waver.

Quodlibet Sun 11-Dec-11 21:44:43

Yes I don't think my friends comparing notes about their babies poo yesterday in graphic detail helped me... I started thinking 'but I like my life without lots of poo in it!'

Awayinamangercooper Sun 11-Dec-11 22:06:48

It's not so long since we had a kitten running round the flat getting poo everywhere, and it wasn't too bad after the initial horror!

Awayinamangercooper Mon 12-Dec-11 08:47:16

Oh bloody hell DH manchild has got it into his head that we're going to do this next summer. It's in July as far as I can tell, and it costs £6,250 just to enter!

Quodlibet Mon 12-Dec-11 09:32:50

Whaaaaaaaaat? Is this TBT2: Return of The Big Trip?
Have you said to him 'but darling, I may well be pregnant by July, don't you think high-speed car racing might be a little dangerous?'

Awayinamangercooper Mon 12-Dec-11 17:29:24

I did! He replied "well if you're knocked up, I'll take someone else." meaning a male friend, I hasten to add. It's £6,250 ffs! I could have the baby at the Portland for that!


That's all I have to contribute! wink

Will be back when I have more time! Toddler in the house and all that!! wink

Quodlibet Mon 12-Dec-11 20:14:08

AC you could have a full year's childcare for that!

The angels are looking down on our house this week I think - DP has just landed a commission which could potentially change our totally-hand-to-mouth financial existence. Not sure exactly how much it's worth yet but definitely substantial by our standards. It would be so so so nice to cross 'how the f**k will we cope financially?' off my Things To Worry About Re Having A Baby List (I have actually got a word document!)

Awayinamangercooper Tue 13-Dec-11 08:01:34

Oh don't worry, unless he wins the lottery between now and July he won't be going. It'll be a cold day in hell before I let him spend the house deposit on racing his car from one hedonistic european holiday spot to another. It's just the whole mentality he has got - this is not a man who's gearing up for the responsibilities of fatherhood.

Oh God.... Mr AC is really excelling himself the moment! A friend of mine is 15 weeks and her husband is talking about buying a 2 seater car and booking a cricket tour to SA for 3 weeks, getting back 2 weeks before her due date......

Some of them are so in denial!!

Quod - that's amazing news on your DHs commission. Hope it all goes well.

Bebe - sorry to hear things are so shit right now. It really sounds like you and DH need some time as just the 2 of you so you can reconnect

Sorry if I've forgotten anybody's news, trying to catch up on my phone over breakfast!!

Awayinamangercooper Tue 13-Dec-11 08:04:12

Quod it sounds like all the pieces are falling into place for you guys!