Brand names you never heard of - Saint moritz self tan?

(327 Posts)
SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 17:23:28

ok so poundlands equiv of saint tropez is saint moritz

what would be their take on other brand names?

ToccataAndFudge Tue 30-Mar-10 17:24:39

loads of the poundland stuff with similar names is the same product, but as they've bought end of line ones on the cheap they have to rebrand them.

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 17:25:17

ah sheesh

heh st moritz is faaaaags innit

Pantone shampoo range


traceybath Tue 30-Mar-10 17:26:30

Many years ago we used to drink Roverdini - was cheap martini. Took the varnish of my desk when I spilt some.

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 17:27:08

arf well done


ToccataAndFudge Tue 30-Mar-10 17:27:32

I used to have a list of all the "brand" stuff that had rebranded in poundland (source will remain unnamed) but I lost it when I moved sad

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 17:27:51

oh god!

awwwwwwww BodyFarm BodyFarmed for yooooo

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 17:28:20

nottygrotty nit comb

Frizzles crisps

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 17:28:38

holo mints

McVitus biscuits

holo mints hahahaha

MrsMeow Tue 30-Mar-10 17:29:52

Aldi (I think it was Aldi) made me laugh once when I bought an orange coloured bottle full of 'Glucosade' grin

(tasted just the same though!)

Shredded twat

<lowers tone>

Jamie Dodgers

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 17:30:25


Glucosade grin brilliant

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 17:30:52

Rommel make up

John Smiffs beer

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 17:31:21

Shoes the chemist

Rommel mae up


SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 17:32:05

Rommel London

Barista dry shampoo

PollyTechnique Tue 30-Mar-10 17:33:00

Pud Egg

hah hah at pud egg

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 17:33:53

Twittards Coffee

Fairly Slow washing powder

Bald detergent

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 17:34:59


cocolepew Tue 30-Mar-10 17:35:40

Verbal Essence

Cillit pow!

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 17:36:11

ELizabeth Garden Make (organic)

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 17:36:25

lol at cilit pow

tubes of Prangles

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 17:36:41

rofl at these

MrsMeow Tue 30-Mar-10 17:36:52

Sledge furniture polish.

I laughed at 'Jamie Dodgers'

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 17:37:13

am on phone to MIL trying not to larf

Calibration chocs

'K' cloth, anyone?

pratt stick glue

hah hah k cloth v good

cocolepew Tue 30-Mar-10 17:38:36

Poop A Hoop crisps

MrsMeow Tue 30-Mar-10 17:39:12

lol! you're good at this, BoysAreLikeDogs!

Mould washing powder

Spines baked beans

Lulumaam Tue 30-Mar-10 17:40:11

I need some Stena ( see what i did there!) lady pads.. i've been ROFLing to the point DH is looking concerned

prangles !!

MrsMeow Tue 30-Mar-10 17:40:18

Shake 'n' Smack

AmeliaCordelia Tue 30-Mar-10 17:40:34

Ogg Boots

mr Mussel sink cleaner with cartoony bivalve character

I'm on a roll

heh heh

Bunty kitchen roll

Lulumaam Tue 30-Mar-10 17:41:22

DH suggested Flush Bleach spray !!

MrsMeow Tue 30-Mar-10 17:41:30

Stena lady make me think of the duty free shops on ferries grin

Domestics bleach

cocolepew Tue 30-Mar-10 17:42:22

Bitch Tea biscuits

MrsMeow Tue 30-Mar-10 17:42:38

Absolutely PMSL at the Mr Mussell!!

Wash'n'stay shampoo

cocolepew Tue 30-Mar-10 17:43:05

Cream Knackers

Bert's Spice range

Diet Cock

MrsMeow Tue 30-Mar-10 17:44:05

Mustard Creams

cocolepew Tue 30-Mar-10 17:44:06


lol at these

cocolepew Tue 30-Mar-10 17:44:57

Joe' s Son & Joe's Son

4Alive juice.

cocolepew Tue 30-Mar-10 17:46:06

Burger Queen

Nice Lamb

Tunnocks Teaspoons

AmeliaCordelia Tue 30-Mar-10 17:48:13

Fog Rolls

(they go on the same aisle as Mist - er Kipling cakes)

Shortbed biscuits

Cherry bakebads

Cheese Things


keep em coming, I've got supper on the hob

Camenbert tea bags

cocolepew Tue 30-Mar-10 17:51:53

Willadelpia cream cheese

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 17:54:15

Bree cheese for that cut above

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 17:54:36

"Mothers hide" for crap procesed bread

southeastastra Tue 30-Mar-10 17:54:42

in pinner there is a cut price spar called spark

cocolepew Tue 30-Mar-10 17:55:42

Oil Of Ugly
Dee Ore
Meet hair removal

Smalling salts

Turdish delight

PG Tups

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 17:56:30

wash and flow shampoo

Titley Teabags

turdish delight is v funny indeed

did no one larf at Nice Lamb


SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 17:57:44

CleanEek! make up

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 17:58:08

i did
but its not a brand is it
its an esoteric website joke
( claims credit)


coco pips

cocolepew Tue 30-Mar-10 18:00:53


cocolepew Tue 30-Mar-10 18:01:07

Ready Beak

cocolepew Tue 30-Mar-10 18:01:30


SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 18:02:23

Freak Peens - biscuits

omg you spelled freak right lol

I Can't Believe it's not Bitter

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 18:03:46

am cooking tea searchign for inspiration

<looks at harrods own brand natch>

cocolepew Tue 30-Mar-10 18:03:56

Asda's Penguins are called Puffins

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 18:04:05

Flowerya spread

me too

not harrods though wink

cocolepew Tue 30-Mar-10 18:04:38


Twigs chocolate fingers


cocolepew Tue 30-Mar-10 18:05:02

Wanker butter

cocolepew Tue 30-Mar-10 18:05:34


SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 18:06:15

there is no need to be crude



SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 18:06:47

Bora Bora orange crink

Lumbago orange drink


Durex paint

cocolepew Tue 30-Mar-10 18:07:38

Prick Stick

Funish d/w tablets

pub biscuits
crying cow cheese
cold comfort fabric softener

cocolepew Tue 30-Mar-10 18:11:32

Cyndel painkillers
Fab Ease smelly stuff
Queensmil bread

PollyTechnique Tue 30-Mar-10 18:13:06

make up By Perry

Bransen's pickle
Fairly liquid

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 18:13:18

ramblers crsps

Hat Dog sausages

Dull computers

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 18:14:53


Sarsen's vinegar

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 18:16:26

saracen surely

Shuffled Steel


cocolepew Tue 30-Mar-10 18:17:01

Rocia phones
Neils Yard

Sugary Puffs
Kallogs Mornflakes

cocolepew Tue 30-Mar-10 18:17:52


pagwatch Tue 30-Mar-10 18:18:33

I know not quite the theme of the thread but
I always wanted to buy something from this shop


SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 18:18:52

Hawk body wash

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 18:19:10

Carte Phwoar ice cream

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 18:19:23

Gnaw stock cubes

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 18:19:36

Tigers tea

cocolepew Tue 30-Mar-10 18:20:04


cocolepew Tue 30-Mar-10 18:20:44

Quite Good Noodles

Tunnocks Camel Fingers

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 18:21:35

links body wash

cathedral Cutie cheese

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 18:22:51

lol at camel

fairy milk chocolate

cocolepew Tue 30-Mar-10 18:23:27

GoodGals pizza

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 18:23:46

id love a good gals pizza!

Potato Hedges

Aren't Bessie's yorkshires

cocolepew Tue 30-Mar-10 18:25:24

Aunty Belles rice

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 18:25:53

lol we haev a career in marketing ahead of us

cocolepew Tue 30-Mar-10 18:26:38

Late & Tyle sugar

xox cubes

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 18:28:29

underpass sandwiches

cocolepew Tue 30-Mar-10 18:29:00

lol at xox
Runners crisps

cocolepew Tue 30-Mar-10 18:29:27

Benson and Wedges fags

tac tic mints

maroons glaces

Bee-roll pastry

SuSylvester Tue 30-Mar-10 18:34:11

tac tic mints for hte competitor inside you

GeekOfTheWeek Tue 30-Mar-10 18:34:15

Not so smart price minge meat.

GeekOfTheWeek Tue 30-Mar-10 18:35:31

Go Cat . . . .And don't fucking come back.

PG Tops

PollyTechnique Tue 30-Mar-10 18:37:15

Hippy Shopper convenience stores


Codbury's Drinking choc

hahah <laughs at own joke>

Private Birdseye's cod fingers

Not Poodle (reassuring!)
Monster Crunch
Hind's Ketchup

Palin Oven Chips (see what I did there?)

Oh...blush Just me still going then?

I don't get palin oven chips blush

oh arse now I do

blush blush

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 30-Mar-10 19:20:37

Lol at this thread - Su you always do good threads (creep twat arsehole delete as appropriate)

I have just lololed at the whole thread and am going back up to read it all again.

Gnaw stock cubes

<pisses self>

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 30-Mar-10 19:24:06

Freak Peans

Freak Peans

<cracks up>

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 30-Mar-10 19:25:40

Blossom Krill rose wine
Pornetto ice creams


I can't do it!

MrsMeow Tue 30-Mar-10 19:28:08

lol at shit kat!!!

sungirltan Tue 30-Mar-10 19:35:58

verbal essence and cillit pow!


Sally Hansen Finch manicure set

Manky Ironing board

Tenby dinnerware

Cit cream cleaner

See I missed a chance to offer Silly Hansen nail products

Golden Gordons cereal


LOL at Silly Hansen!

Malt and Brown toiletries

Slimcea Tue 30-Mar-10 19:46:03

i LOVE my threads



Head and Elbows shampoo

CarrieDaBabi Tue 30-Mar-10 19:51:08

bolex watches lol

Scamp coffee

Shortbeard fingers

(Hairy) Trucker bars.

Slimcea Tue 30-Mar-10 20:09:50

rofl at shortbeard

BariatricObama Tue 30-Mar-10 20:10:56

shiter life

CarrieDaBabi Tue 30-Mar-10 20:11:17

fruit shot!
one for us mumsnetters!grin

BariatricObama Tue 30-Mar-10 20:11:25

i use saint moritz!

Cloudy Delight
Seaman's Friends

Fishermans Fiends

CarrieDaBabi Tue 30-Mar-10 20:14:14

BO, is it any good?

A tin of spewed beef

Dodgy Jammies

usualsuspect Tue 30-Mar-10 20:17:36

porn beef

BariatricObama Tue 30-Mar-10 20:22:35

hairdresser recommended it. it is ok if you just want to look healthy but hairdresser oded and ended up looking like she had some pigmentation issue

Ill Ham (It's not cured - geddit?)

bobbiewickham Tue 30-Mar-10 20:24:44

Four finger FitFats.

Gone West tuna.

Hadesladies Mayonnaise.

arf at pigmentation issue BO

BariatricObama Tue 30-Mar-10 20:26:27

creme de la merde

bobbiewickham Tue 30-Mar-10 20:26:47

Harry Lauder make up.

I was going to go for Fred West Tuna, but thought it may be in bad taste blush. Yours is much better smile

bobbiewickham Tue 30-Mar-10 20:27:42

Eve Vom cleanser.

Jizz Earle Spit and Polish.

bobbiewickham Tue 30-Mar-10 20:28:14

Arf, Bitter...

Mouldy Brown handwash

BitOfFun Tue 30-Mar-10 20:29:06

There is such a thing as Burger Queen. I saw their stall on a Gay Pride march.

Slimcea Tue 30-Mar-10 20:29:44



wagon whorls

BariatricObama Tue 30-Mar-10 20:30:28

snort @ mouldy brown

bobbiewickham Tue 30-Mar-10 20:30:33

PigPen toiletries.


MrsMeow Tue 30-Mar-10 20:30:35

Jizz Earle made me laugh out loud!

I so wish my brain was working - it's been on a go slow all day.

I'll think of loads when I'm in bed, you watch!


KenDodd coffee

cream of tomato soap

Glade Arseole refill

bobbiewickham Tue 30-Mar-10 20:33:36

New Brent Cross soup

bobbiewickham Tue 30-Mar-10 20:34:03

Naive Smoothies

Slimcea Tue 30-Mar-10 20:34:12

Persmell washign powder

did you knwo persil means parsely in FOrrin?

cyb Tue 30-Mar-10 20:34:53

lol bobbie

cyb Tue 30-Mar-10 20:35:16

gaffa cakes

bobbiewickham Tue 30-Mar-10 20:35:37

Hairylea triangles

cyb Tue 30-Mar-10 20:35:37

peanut n&n's

cyb Tue 30-Mar-10 20:36:15

we;'ve got a Dominics pizza

bobbiewickham Tue 30-Mar-10 20:36:19

Lambretta sparkling wine.

BariatricObama Tue 30-Mar-10 20:36:40

craven holidays

cyb Tue 30-Mar-10 20:36:53


Slimcea Tue 30-Mar-10 20:37:03



Brian's Faggots

bobbiewickham Tue 30-Mar-10 20:37:37


Slimcea Tue 30-Mar-10 20:37:43

Liquorice Diversity

hah hah

bobbiewickham Tue 30-Mar-10 20:38:01

Corn Skinnies

cyb Tue 30-Mar-10 20:38:23

Cheesey whatchamacallits

Mmmm Hairylea Dunkers grin

BariatricObama Tue 30-Mar-10 20:38:51

self-centred parks

bobbiewickham Tue 30-Mar-10 20:39:15

Fruit Assassinations

French Thighs

Cyb, do you mean cheesy thingys?

cyb Tue 30-Mar-10 20:39:51


bobbiewickham Tue 30-Mar-10 20:39:54

Old English Spingles


bobbiewickham Tue 30-Mar-10 20:40:36


bobbiewickham Tue 30-Mar-10 20:41:12

Hikers crisps

Uncle Bob's rice

bobbiewickham Tue 30-Mar-10 20:41:56

Pigeon Soap

cyb Tue 30-Mar-10 20:42:06

Shhhh puppies

Turtleneck soup

Slimcea Tue 30-Mar-10 20:43:03


chicken in a trolley

bobbiewickham Tue 30-Mar-10 20:44:38

Helix cat food

See also Stubble cat food

Sometimes sanitary towels

Slimcea Tue 30-Mar-10 20:45:29

rofl at helix

i imagine cats doing Kypton facotr type puzzles

Matthew Bernards turkey twizzles

Rubik's Cub

bobbiewickham Tue 30-Mar-10 20:46:40

Yeah, that'd fox the little bastards.

For about thirty seconds.

Lurex condoms.

bobbiewickham Tue 30-Mar-10 20:47:32

J I Jelly

Onyx Black Cider

bobbiewickham Tue 30-Mar-10 20:47:55

Divea creme

Orange Gina

Fray Mentos pies

Busto gravy



LOL at marmalard.

Hobo's choice cheddar
Munter's fruit corner.

Straight Wurly

Milky Whey


chocolate bottoms

ice bream

MrsMeow Tue 30-Mar-10 22:09:04

BALD I have visions of you stood in front of your cupboards looking for inspiration!

Love straight wurly grin

Baldy, do you get the feeling we find this far more amusing than we should?

<whispers> I think everybody else left hours ago grin

On a serious note, I'll take your ice bream and raise you a

Shredded Beets

Pop slatterns

MrsMeow Tue 30-Mar-10 22:13:17

BitterandTwisted, I have been lurking here like a right spare part, alternating between laughing at some of the replies and crying because my brain is pickled and I can't think of anything!

I know

I am avoiding doing paperwork so here I am tra la laaa

shredded beet v good

FeebleBow cider
Diamonique champagne Cava

Clever spread

jaffa snakes

Bitz crackers

The nonplussed egg co.

hormonesnomore Tue 30-Mar-10 22:19:24

Clit Bang

Really strong Chester Cheese

And of course, mini chesters. smile


cyb Tue 30-Mar-10 22:22:12


Finder's crispy pancakes

Dave soap

Hell's Angel Delight

Piz Bruin suncream

ello vera lotion

Derek 'Del' Monty tinned fruit.

No. 8 protect and project.

File - O - Facts

heh heh heh

MuffinToptheMule Tue 30-Mar-10 22:35:37

Fadidas trainers

hormonesnomore Tue 30-Mar-10 22:41:55

Bay Ran sunglasses

<nods approvingly>

meltedchocolate Tue 30-Mar-10 22:52:36

Triple VulvaT toilet paper?

Hertza Hotdogs

Touch o' eclat

See ya's cereal (oh, I love those little o's). Or maybe, Asbo's

Slimcea Wed 31-Mar-10 07:45:52

was lOLLing about HElix catfud in shower.

also the south african brand version - "relix"

GetOrfMoiLand Wed 31-Mar-10 08:24:52

I woke up at quarter to 6 this morning giggling away at Freak Peans. DP asked me whsat I was laughing at - when I said Frea Peans he just looked at me in utter confusion.

I am now at work lolling at File - O - Facts .

Lol but I can't think of any.

Red Cow energy drink
Carmecks lip balm
Lucy Tubes lip gloss
Schlepps lemonade
Kryptons iced tea

Oh whyohwhy are mine not as funny as all the rest

WorkshyLardyGutbucket Wed 31-Mar-10 08:33:59

chocolate mingers?

WorkshyLardyGutbucket Wed 31-Mar-10 08:37:24

Not exactly a funny one, but I notice my boss has 3 boxes of Rhino Spray on his desk! Do you think I should be worried?

WorkshyLardyGutbucket Wed 31-Mar-10 08:57:15

Bird's Triffid
Nestle's Condescending Milk
Bream topping

FalafelAtYourFeet Wed 31-Mar-10 10:48:58

Just seen a real one on the Poundland website: 'Kilkoff' cough syrup <arf>

Really unhelpfully I googled 'poundland rebranded' and it just brought me back here. Surely the internet should have a list?

Pumpers nappies

AlaskaNebraska Tue 08-Jun-10 16:21:33

did htat take THREE Months to htink of?

I want to know this ain't in classics, tis v funny

I want to know WHY this ain't in classics

AlaskaNebraska Tue 08-Jun-10 16:27:04

do you still want to know?

PansAndNoodles Tue 08-Jun-10 16:30:43

Ooh just seen this..

Poundland's (againgrin) version of Cilit Bang - which is a bad enough name anyway - but theirs was Sonic Boom.

Lulumaam Tue 08-Jun-10 16:34:00

have just re -read as I saw St MOritz in two shops today..

this is a classic..! Freak Peens.. I was weak WEAAAAK

oiteach Tue 08-Jun-10 19:28:33

Hairy liquid

freak peens has finished me off.

It took three months because I found it when looking for something else and it made me spill my morning coffee laughing! So <phurt>! grin

After sevens

Ness coffee

PG Dips

And in the pharma aisle


Chums condoms

Purex condoms

Benekil hay fever relief

Anagin (headache and hangover relief)

Iwasthefourthwiseman Mon 20-Dec-10 23:40:07

Just been linked from another thread & wanted to add mine:

Not Nice Biscuits
I can't believe it's not margarine
Unsure deodorant

beachholiday Fri 08-Apr-11 21:01:26

Toilet Chicken.

AlaskaNebraska Sun 15-Sep-13 22:27:04

HERE! this was never even IN classics shock

AnneUulmelmahay Sun 15-Sep-13 22:42:53


NoelHeadbands Sun 15-Sep-13 22:49:21


cod Sat 26-Jul-14 18:32:33

Pseudocreme for the aspirational toddler


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