Guess what Tesco.com thought would be a suitable substitution for the bottle of Jacob's Creek Chardonnay I ordered last night?

(76 Posts)
PuppyMonkey Tue 07-Jul-09 12:17:41

Boggers.

FAQinglovely Tue 07-Jul-09 12:18:23

lambrini - or the even worse lambrusco?

ruddynorah Tue 07-Jul-09 12:18:26

jacob's crackers?

TheArmadillo Tue 07-Jul-09 12:19:16

greek yoghurt

Loshad Tue 07-Jul-09 12:19:56

it'll be something batty - they once subsituted a bottle of sweet white fizzy when the full bodied australian red i'd ordered was out of stock .....

oranges Tue 07-Jul-09 12:19:57

a can of fosters?

sweetkitty Tue 07-Jul-09 12:20:00

cat litter

bamboobutton Tue 07-Jul-09 12:20:00

babycham?

PuppyMonkey Tue 07-Jul-09 12:20:05

No. I could understand any of them.

Bettymum Tue 07-Jul-09 12:20:49

Alcohol free beer

bamboobutton Tue 07-Jul-09 12:21:28

formula milk

ruddynorah Tue 07-Jul-09 12:21:44

a gift box of baileys irish cream chocolates

Fimbo Tue 07-Jul-09 12:21:54

Blue Nun

Merrydown Cider

TheArmadillo Tue 07-Jul-09 12:21:57

a garden chair?

a packet of ham?

biscuits?

CherryChoc Tue 07-Jul-09 12:22:13

A DVD of Jonathan Creek grin

FlappyTheBat Tue 07-Jul-09 12:22:20

disposable bbq - in keeping with the australian theme?

PuppyMonkey Tue 07-Jul-09 12:22:47

Wrong so far. How long do I prolong the suspense? grin

bamboobutton Tue 07-Jul-09 12:23:04

a cabbage?

stuffing?

cherry liqueurs?

ruddynorah Tue 07-Jul-09 12:23:10

tell us pls??? smile

dizzymare Tue 07-Jul-09 12:23:26

tampax

TheArmadillo Tue 07-Jul-09 12:23:55

painkillers

condoms

nappies

ktichen roll

bamboobutton Tue 07-Jul-09 12:24:37

tesco fortified wine?

HuwEdwards Tue 07-Jul-09 12:24:49

lol at Ruddynorah!

JoesMummy09 Tue 07-Jul-09 12:24:49

they let you keep the delivery man?

oranges Tue 07-Jul-09 12:25:15

bleach.

Simples Tue 07-Jul-09 12:25:27

oh ffs say

BONKERZ Tue 07-Jul-09 12:25:47

a huge pack of frooooooottttt shoooottttsssss?????

SusieDerkins Tue 07-Jul-09 12:26:17

slimfast?

Jacobs Cream Crackers?

SammyK Tue 07-Jul-09 12:27:43

Uni are finished now aren't they?

Who was it last year who got a wooden owl instead of a box of eggs? grin

PuppyMonkey Tue 07-Jul-09 12:27:48

Wait for it......

A loaf of Hovis White Bread.

hmm hmm hmm

White wine... white bread???? Is that the logic do you think????

ruddynorah Tue 07-Jul-09 12:29:25

o.m.g

cos it's...white too. jeeeeez.

FAQinglovely Tue 07-Jul-09 12:30:17

PMSL - that's so awful it's very funny grin

SammyK Tue 07-Jul-09 12:33:48

grin as it's not my bottle of wine that's been subsituted, would be v.unipmressed to find my wine nowhere to be seen and a loaf of bread in it's place!

FlappyTheBat Tue 07-Jul-09 12:34:17

grin, at least the substitution would have been cheaper. Take it you didn't accept it?

TheArmadillo Tue 07-Jul-09 12:35:25

PMSL

maybe they though you could comfort eat to cheer yourself up about no wine?

Or maybe they thought you ordered too much alcohol and were giving you something to soak it up with?

FabBakerGirlIsBack Tue 07-Jul-09 12:36:47

I would be very tempted to ring and ask them what their logic is for the choice of substitution.

PuppyMonkey Tue 07-Jul-09 12:38:08

Me and the driver had a larf about it. it all got quite religious in the end... talking about turning bread into wine etc etc... grin

I didn't accept it. I also phoned customer services and they were so apologetic, they said they'd waive the delivery charge.

Still got nothing to get pissed on this week though. sad

Curiousmama Tue 07-Jul-09 12:41:03

grin I thought substituting allinson's bread flour for allinson's bread was bad enough (also Tesco) think I'll keep my mouth shut now.

You should tell tesco to deliver the wine bet they will.

FlappyTheBat Tue 07-Jul-09 12:43:04

Obviously, whoever was picking your items forgot to "use their loaf" or were too busy "loafing around" to do their job properly.

<slinks off after making some really bad jokes>

BitOfFun Tue 07-Jul-09 13:02:12

A nice bottle of white wine is the best thing since sliced bread...perhaps that was their logic?

PuppyMonkey Tue 07-Jul-09 13:55:27

I wouldn't mind so much, but I'd already ordered three loaves of Warburtons Toastie white bread. Surely they must have realised I had all the loaves I required for one week! grin

TigersChick Tue 07-Jul-09 14:02:21

grin Rofl!

Saltire Tue 07-Jul-09 14:07:05

Last year they subsituted my haggis with a tin of shortbread,a dn the reasoning behind was "well they are both Scottish"

FlappyTheBat Tue 07-Jul-09 14:17:51

mmmm, lovely -shortbread, neeps and tatties!!!!

modrin Tue 07-Jul-09 14:18:24

rofl @saltire...typical! if that had been round here you would have got a bottle of Buckfast tonic wine which the op could have tried!!!

PuppyMonkey Tue 07-Jul-09 14:58:47

I'd settle for any wine at all round about now. Even Lambrini would've been better then nowt!

CherryChoc Tue 07-Jul-09 15:03:07

I think you can make your own wine with a slice of mouldy bread, perhaps that's what they were hinting at grin

I once ordered 4 pints of full cream milk and 1 pint of semi-skimmed, they substituted the semi-skimmed for 1 pint of full cream hmm - do they not take the rest of the order into account when they substitute things??

dilemma456 Thu 09-Jul-09 09:31:06

Message withdrawn

lou33 Thu 09-Jul-09 09:32:51

i had a bag of crisps once as a substitute for nicorette gum

christiana Thu 09-Jul-09 09:44:12

Message withdrawn

SoMuchToBits Thu 09-Jul-09 09:50:13

I once had a Christmas cake in place of eggs - I suppose they assumed that was what I was going to use the eggs for hmm

Also I once ordered some New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc wine, and they said they were unable to find a substitution, so delivered none! I find it hard to believe that they couldn't find another bottle of white wine in the whole store....

Bettymum Thu 09-Jul-09 10:10:15

Christiana - Kettle Chips?

christiana Thu 09-Jul-09 10:32:45

Message withdrawn

Bettymum Thu 09-Jul-09 10:34:26

grin

Horton Fri 10-Jul-09 15:01:12

I once got a lemon meringue pie instead of a lemon. I like lemon meringue pie but it's not very nice on fish.

cyanarasamba Fri 10-Jul-09 15:06:52

Likewise SoMuchToBits - instead of a box of Cadbury's Heroes I once got.... nothing!

If you need chocolate/wine then you're not going to be picky, they could at least have grabbed something... <grumble, scarred for life at chocolate free evening>

fanjolina Fri 10-Jul-09 15:39:46

who was it on here that ordered a pregnancy test, but had it substituted for....

....a box of condoms grin

samplesale Fri 10-Jul-09 16:43:14

and there was someone else on here too wasn't there, who ordered a packet of mixed nuts and got... Nuts magazine. grin

modrin Fri 10-Jul-09 16:51:36

this thread is hilarious

catsmother Sat 11-Jul-09 15:13:09

I've had lemons instead of lemonade ...... like, I should make my own and was being lazy or something, notwithstanding the doubtful fact that there wasn't a single bottle of lemonade (or indeed Sprite or 7Up) in the whole store.

Honneybunny Sat 11-Jul-09 18:42:51

am rofl reading this thread!

we have had salad cream in stead of saturday paper. failed to see the connection there as well... grin

dilemma456 Sat 11-Jul-09 21:29:12

Message withdrawn

sausages has to win that one i reckon!!!

these are awful. we ought to make a proper list and send them to tesco and ask what's going on

Yorky Sat 11-Jul-09 21:49:15

I must get more organised - hadn't realised I was missing out on such entertainment!

drowninginclutter Sat 11-Jul-09 21:50:51

Sausage rolls instead of loo rolls!

Try wiping your arse with one of those...

Quattrocento Sat 11-Jul-09 21:51:23

Click the no substitutions button. Seriously. The software gets a bit incredulous ("You have clicked the no substitutions button. Are you really really sure about this?") but it'll accept it in the end.

Quattrocento - I did this once - the no-substitutions thing. I ended up with four items from my shopping list arriving. hmm Clearly my shopping was very esoteric and hard to find hmm

potplant Sat 11-Jul-09 21:55:35

I'm more shocked they refunded the delivery charge. grin

Ocado once delivered six bottles of wine to me by mistake and when I queried it, told me to keep them. Perhaps one of them was the OPs? wink

why on earth do you lot still use tesco? lol

4 items out of your whole shopping is appalling.

I have only used them twice - in extremis when Ocado couldn't do it.

There were 35 items on my list and they managed four. hmm FOUR FFS! angry

One of which was squashed by the other three.

Twims Sun 12-Jul-09 16:26:31

These are fab

Lobyd Mon 13-Jul-09 07:34:19

I've had a proper giggle over these! I once didn't get any of the meat or fish I'd ordered, but did get a bag of four loose oranges. Militant vegetarian packer perhaps?

melpomene Tue 14-Jul-09 00:28:15

I ordered a pack of sunflower seeds (to snack on) and they replaced them with a box of budgie treats.

UnquietDad Tue 14-Jul-09 09:49:23

No amusing ones happened to me personally, but I was chatting to the delivery man about this kind of thing a while back. His most amusing example was that a middle-aged lady who had requested a pack of peanuts had them replaced with a copy of "Nuts" magazine.

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