So who would knows about perimenopause and menopause then .. and how come we aren't taught / don't discuss in advance

(443 Posts)
Twiglett Sun 30-Dec-07 20:25:42

OK I'm 40 so possibly in reach of the perimenopause which I understand can start 10 years before the menopause

I've had a bug that is also giving me hot sweats, I've also been raging more than normal

I've ordered a book that has been recommended to me but I know nothing

(much as I knew nothing about my cycle 'til I read Toni Weschler's book)

holidaywonk Sun 30-Dec-07 20:28:10

There was a Grauniad article recently Twig. Would you like me to find link or have you already seen it?

send a link holidaywonk - if you wouldn't mind - I'd be interested

holidaywonk Sun 30-Dec-07 20:31:24

blimey, I'd forgotten that it was a tad dramatic

I'm sure it's not always like this ladies <quakes>

SantaBeClausImWorthIt Sun 30-Dec-07 20:34:22

Mind you, I like the sound of the weight loss ... grin

hello BIWI !

batters Sun 30-Dec-07 20:38:59

What book have you been recommended, Twiglett, asks a very young and youthful and not even in her 30s batters.

Twiglett Sun 30-Dec-07 20:43:45

power surge

site for perimenopause / menopause education .. looks good

we should bloody well know about this you know

motherinferior Sun 30-Dec-07 20:44:18

I keep thinking of Doing Something about this in professional capacity, not of course that it is in any way relevant to me oh no

<contemplates 45th birthday looming in 2008>

Twiglett Sun 30-Dec-07 20:45:08

"The Wisdom of Menopause" by Dr Christiane Northrup

Spidermama Sun 30-Dec-07 20:46:49

I'm at the start of Toni Wechelers book and already feeling I'm reading it twenty years too late.

Still, I can pass it on to my dd.

I agree with you we don't tend to pass down info about womanly stuff to each other. People who have miscarriages often say this. Also I remember being quite un-prepared for changes when I was entering puberty about things like the fanny lips growing. I thought I had some kind of tumour.

While I'm on the subject of lips my mum has revealed to me that they disappear again in the menopause as does all the hair.

peanutbear Sun 30-Dec-07 20:49:43

can you tell me if it is possible that this ould happen to you at 32 or is that way to young

SantaBeClausImWorthIt Sun 30-Dec-07 20:50:04

Hello MAS!

That site looks interesting Twiglett.

I'm 48 now, and in the summer, whilst on holiday, experienced a number of hot flushes. Interestingly, these coincided with me lapsing from my usual low carbohydrate way of eating.

So diet (as confirmed by some of the stuff on the site) can have an impact. Also, though, you've clearly been ill, so are more likely to be suffering from a fever than real hot flushes, surely?

But definitely agree with you that we should know more about this. I'm determined to manage my menopause without resorting to hormone replacement therapy. My mum died from breast cancer and I have a strong feeling that HRT was one of the triggers for this.

motherinferior Sun 30-Dec-07 20:50:23

I was horrified by all the things that happened to my body around puberty.

They...disappear? Even, ahem, quite you know pendulous pronounced ones?

Spidermama Sun 30-Dec-07 20:53:29

Yes I won't ever be tempted to experiment with vestibular shaving any more now I know I only have it for a limited time.

motherinferior Sun 30-Dec-07 20:55:25

I shall cultivate my ladygarden, I think.

motherinferior Sun 30-Dec-07 20:55:56

And scrutinise for retracting lips.

Twiglett Sun 30-Dec-07 20:57:25

is that 'whilst you may'

I would rather like to be less, ahem, hirsute

LittleBellasRingingOutTheOld Sun 30-Dec-07 20:59:24

LOL at lip scrutiny.

I recently had a thread about this. I had a one day period, followed by a ten day very odd period about 2 weeks later. It occurred to me that it might be menopausal symptoms but I went to the doctor to get checked out just in case it might be a sign of something else. He said it's most likely to be perimenopausal stuff.

I do like the idea of losing a stone in 3 months as well, call me shallow. Have noticed that I've lost my appetite a lot, but that might be because I've had a bloody cold for nearly 3 weeks. (or maybe that's perimenopause as well judging by that article)

Blandmum Sun 30-Dec-07 21:02:21

Dry skin and hair....and this includes dryness in the vagina. Thinning of the skin in general.

Balding in the lady garden area.

Mustache like Colonel Blimp.

(not there yet myself (except mustache) used to work for a company that marketed HRT)

pinetreedog Sun 30-Dec-07 21:04:13

jesus H. That article is unreal. I'm denying everything for as long as I can.

LittleBellasRingingOutTheOld Sun 30-Dec-07 21:15:01

That puts a new complexion on porn stars. Maybe they're all aspiring to be menopausal, not children as previously believed?

Spidermama Sun 30-Dec-07 21:24:56

PMSL.

WideWebWitch Mon 31-Dec-07 04:33:20

Oh I was wondering about this too. Goodness that article's depressing. Is it really that terrible? Quite right, we should know this stuff.

batters Mon 31-Dec-07 13:06:08

thank you twiglett.

HuwEdwards Mon 31-Dec-07 13:09:21

I am 45

I really don't want need to read that article yet, do I...?

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl Mon 31-Dec-07 13:11:33

i am lalalala fingers in ears about this

i think i have enough to worry about without adding more lol

Vulgar Mon 31-Dec-07 13:48:31

I'm in denial.

Surely this can't happen to me soon?

After all, i feel like I've just got over puberty.wink

TheDuchessOfNorksBride Mon 31-Dec-07 14:06:19

<shakily pours large glass of Armagnac and clicks link>

TheDuchessOfNorksBride Mon 31-Dec-07 14:18:58

So it's just like the first & last trimester of pregnancy combined, but with weight loss not gain, and without a definite finish line?

Oh good.

<finishes bottle of Armagnac>

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Mon 31-Dec-07 14:22:06

I'm 44 and will join this club. I'm deffo more stroppy and emotional, and it's not just all the Christmas rubbish. And I look old [wrinkly faced emoticon]. I think I'll ditch the 'makers' in my name and just go with Saggybottomface&knockers. AF is completely up the swanny too - got closer together and now getting further apart. I'm sick of the whole feckin thing already.

My mum was mid to late forties so I'm probably peri-semi-menopausal lol!

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Mon 31-Dec-07 14:24:55

Oh FGS I have at least 25 of the 34 signs on that link.

Woe is me.

<Lies down in darkened room>

HappyTwoFRAUsandAndEight Mon 31-Dec-07 15:16:17

do we have to start carrying the list round and ticking things off? I didnt get my periods til a week before my 18th bday and the theory is that late starters are early finishers. I'm 36. I have a nasty few boxes checked on that list already. <sigh>

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 15:39:16

"I'm 44 and will join this club."

Hang on! This is a thread, it's not a club. I am not in a fucking perimenopausal CLUB!

batters Mon 31-Dec-07 15:43:58

pinedogtree, this isn't a club. If we say it is then the young 'uns will accuse us of having a clique and it will be horrible and people will cry.

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 15:50:05

Just a guess, but I don't think any young 'uns would want to be in this sort of clique. Are you thinking straight, batters? Or are you PERIMENOPAUSAL? aAAGH

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 15:50:57

it's like a horror film in here where everyone turns into zombies, even the good guys.

TheDuchessOfNorksBride Mon 31-Dec-07 15:53:43

It IS a club. And you're all cliquey and young women like me are excluded. I hate MN. Boo hoo.

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 15:56:31

You're not crying half as much as we are

Tamum Mon 31-Dec-07 15:57:53

Oh Gawd, I'm finally in a clique. What a way to start. I don't have any of those signs though, or no more than I have ever had in my life before.

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 16:02:40

I haven't even looked th signs up. I know I don't have it. I'm still in my 30s

WideWebWitch Mon 31-Dec-07 16:05:19

This is a club I don't want to be in either. I'm a mere 41 and also in denial. DofN, you're up the duff you can't join surely?
lol at semi- peri

JackieNo Mon 31-Dec-07 16:06:19

I think I'm getting here too - I'm 42, and can definitely relate to the rage thing, as well as getting the most horrendous spots completely randomly, where before when I've had spots they've always been related to when my period startssad. Just waiting for the rest of the symptoms to manifest themselves. I like that Power Surge website.

Tamum Mon 31-Dec-07 16:09:59

Maybe we should ask MN for our own topic section? <gloom>

PrismManchip Mon 31-Dec-07 16:10:13

I have had 6 menopauses

<keels over at the thought>

It's seriously weird. (IVF-related btw)

It's the loss of mental capacity that worries me. If you ever looked at your menopausal mother trying to finish a sentence and thought "Oh god why is she so slow?" then Be Afraid.

Tamum Mon 31-Dec-07 16:11:05

Begone Pruni, you young thing you...

PrismManchip Mon 31-Dec-07 16:12:35

35, tamum
with FSH that is apparently 10 years older than I am
and a family of women who all had early menopause
<SOB>

PrismManchip Mon 31-Dec-07 16:13:11

Apparently this does not explain why ivf isn't working, btw - I have asked.....

JackieNo Mon 31-Dec-07 16:14:13

I get the trying to finish a sentence occasionally already - can't remember fairly ordinary words.

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 16:16:15

I say the worng word a fair bit and have no knowledge of saying the wrong word until someone shouts at me. I kept calling a camera a phone the other day. I did it three times.

twiglett has ruined my new year

PrismManchip Mon 31-Dec-07 16:16:41

It's like you have just been dropped onto a tv set and are supposed to improvise the conversation.
It feels like everyone's watching you (which they are, because it's your turn to speak, and after all, you did start speaking).

JackieNo Mon 31-Dec-07 16:18:07

No - I refuse to look at it as a totally bad thing - knowledge is power, and all that. There must be something good we can find in it...hmm

JackieNo Mon 31-Dec-07 16:18:45

Isn't there a Germaine Greer book about the menopause? Might be worth a read too.

WideWebWitch Mon 31-Dec-07 16:19:20

lol at prism (are you Pruni?)

WideWebWitch Mon 31-Dec-07 16:19:54

Oh yes fear of fifty is it about menopause?

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 16:20:57

oh I can't stick germaine greer. That would b e the last straw, having to read a book by an old prune like greer

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 16:21:25

(no offence to pruni meant)

PrismManchip Mon 31-Dec-07 16:22:27

I am Pruni

I found this name in a book of silly names

I have to say I am pretty scared of the menopause. I want to have something about me that is noteworthy/professional/respectable by then, because the idea of seeming witless and fifty and unaccomplished really isn't a nice one.

JackieNo Mon 31-Dec-07 16:22:47

I think I was thinking of The Change. It's a long, long time since I read the Female Eunuch, but I'd be willing to give this one a try, so to speak. Not sure how much practical help it would be though.

PrismManchip Mon 31-Dec-07 16:22:50

<sucks in lips at pinetreedog>

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 16:24:37

oh jackie, no

even the review of that book makes me barf - 'strident feminism' and 'every woman's birthright'. I feel about 103 now

JackieNo Mon 31-Dec-07 16:25:05

(Fear of Fifty is Erica Jong, apparently, WWW - and not particularly about the menopause, from the very sketchy details on the Amazon link).

JackieNo Mon 31-Dec-07 16:26:27

I'm not saying I'd necessarily agree with all of it, pinetreedog, but I'd still be interested to give it a go (maybe get it from the library, so I don't actually have to buy it thoughgrin).

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Mon 31-Dec-07 16:27:02

Well I was hoping that with the menopause there'd be a change in my libido. Like I might actually find it again. [eager]

And my thighs look dreadfully cellulity so if there's a Change to be had they may improve too.

Trying to find some positives here.......help me out.....

JackieNo Mon 31-Dec-07 16:28:52

erm, you won't have periods any more, saggars? Is that a positive?

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 16:29:06

I don;t think a tinder-dry fanjo is going to help libido, saggar

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 16:29:45

yes, no periods a posisitve of sorts.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Mon 31-Dec-07 16:34:18

Oh yes no periods - how could I forget that one?

My luck will be I'll get a raging libido back and then either have a fanjo as dry as the Sahara or dh will get an attack of the wilts.

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 16:35:25

You forgot about it because you are PERIMENOPAUSLA

WideWebWitch Mon 31-Dec-07 16:35:45

lol pinetreedog, oh no, this is all horrific sounding

we should have a new topic on MN for this. I think lots of us are coming into this period of our life.

WideWebWitch Mon 31-Dec-07 16:36:28

stop talking about dry fanjos you lot, ewww

JackieNo Mon 31-Dec-07 16:37:16

We could be the KY Klub wink.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Mon 31-Dec-07 16:37:56

snurk @ KY Club

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Mon 31-Dec-07 16:38:25

Oh sorry Klub

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 16:38:26

yeah, give us a topic. We can all finish each others' sentences

WideWebWitch Mon 31-Dec-07 16:38:40

eww ewww ewww

no-one TELLS us this stuff, Twiglett is right. I can't ask mn for a peri-menopausal/menopause section, I'm in denial too much for that. I'd have it on my ignore list as it doesn't apply to me, oh no.

Tamum Mon 31-Dec-07 16:38:43

I think there's a book by Jenni Murray too, isn't there? <sob>

Oh go on then Pruni, you can be in the clique too, although you look much younger than 35, I think they must be lying about your FSH <stern> Going through all that hormonal stuff so often must be dreadful, actually.

Actually I am deeply reassured by the getting words wrong thing, I always assume it's early onset dementia because my father has it, I would far rather it be the menopause.

Tamum Mon 31-Dec-07 16:39:32

Lol at getting a section and then all having on "ignore"- almost worth it just for that.

WideWebWitch Mon 31-Dec-07 16:39:34

AH now Jenni Murray I could read. Isn't it called is it me or is it hot in here?

Tamum Mon 31-Dec-07 16:40:53

That's right I think www- putting a jolly spin on things <sob again>

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Mon 31-Dec-07 16:41:21

You see I already sweat a lot (you wanted to know that didn't you?) - when I hit the menopause I'll need a life jacket!

WideWebWitch Mon 31-Dec-07 16:41:29

Ah yes, THIS is our book your book I mean <ahem> That and grumpy old women which I read recently and made me laugh out loud on the train

and no one grin at "period" in our life.

WideWebWitch Mon 31-Dec-07 16:42:47

But I don't like Amazon's suggestions that I also buy Mad Miriam with it, I didn't listen to her when I was pregnant I certainly won't when I become peri menopausal

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 16:43:01

That jenni murray is looking a bit puffy with her granny specs on that book jacket. I was thinking of something with a ... younger feel

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 16:43:41

(I got your joke, kerry. My brain was going too slow to make a response though)

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Mon 31-Dec-07 16:44:01

Loss of SOH is probably another symptom KerryMum.

JackieNo Mon 31-Dec-07 16:44:35

Oooh look - Menopause: the Musicalgrin. And isn't there a Fascinating Aida song too?

WideWebWitch Mon 31-Dec-07 16:47:23

pinetreedog you're making me laugh a lot.
Wot, would you prefer someone who's the age I feel?

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 16:49:11

I'd like to read a book on the menopause by Jamie Oliver. He's a cheery, simple young man who puts a smile on my (dry-skinned) face

WideWebWitch Mon 31-Dec-07 16:49:17

I remember Fascinating Aida. And Dillie Keane was one of them and is now a Grumpy Old Woman isn't she. I have a book of poems or something by them somewhere I think.

Iota Mon 31-Dec-07 16:50:36

Look I'm clinging on to my 40's by a very slender thread, and I am still in denial.

So waht am I doing reading this thread

I was never here.....<<vanishes in a puff of smoke>>

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 16:51:33

I never liked Facinating Aida. They were always old crones.

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 16:52:00

iota, are you nearly 50 then?

Iota Mon 31-Dec-07 16:53:09

Doggie

Don't just come out with like that, I need time to adjust.

That sent an arrow through my heart

WideWebWitch Mon 31-Dec-07 16:53:44

Fascinating Aida have a song called hot in here for women of a certain age

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Mon 31-Dec-07 16:54:19

Iota - you could be our leader and mentor.

WideWebWitch Mon 31-Dec-07 16:54:30

shock at old crones!

Twiglett Mon 31-Dec-07 16:54:37

I do think its very amusing the way we all hide behind humour and farce to avoid facing up to something that should possibly be empowering

imagine .. no more pmt, cramps, periods, starting periods when not expecting to and wearing white trousers on a train (just me?)

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 16:54:38

sorry, iota. I was thinking aloud really

WideWebWitch Mon 31-Dec-07 16:54:44

Iota, come back here!

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 16:55:47

fark off, twiglett. I don't get pmt and all that stuff. And I never wear white trousers, let alone on a train

WideWebWitch Mon 31-Dec-07 16:55:52

But Twig no-one seems to say it's ok, it sounds like hell on earth. Like PMT x 10 and my pmt is bad enough frankly, let alone added to dry fanjo and night sweats. I'm quite scared of it really.

JackieNo Mon 31-Dec-07 16:55:54

That's the one, WWWsmile.

WideWebWitch Mon 31-Dec-07 16:56:17

I haven't worn white trousers since 1987

Iota Mon 31-Dec-07 16:56:22

Saggers
I am absolutely not going to lead the way on this - I'm haveing a very late menopause in my 50s ( years away!!)

Some of you young ones can go for it early if you wish

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 16:56:53

Yes, I feel scared and small now. You have spoiled new year

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Mon 31-Dec-07 16:57:25

Is Denial a symptom then [wink?

Iota Mon 31-Dec-07 16:57:53

white trousers???

not with my pear-shaped size 16 backside

JackieNo Mon 31-Dec-07 16:58:04

Don't feel scared, pinetreedog - feel empowered, and forewarned, and suchlike.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Mon 31-Dec-07 16:58:06

See I couldn't even finish the farkin sentence properly. ]

Twiglett Mon 31-Dec-07 16:58:09

grin ok it was 1986 but I was scarred for life

it doesn't matter whether anything says it's ok though does it because it's inevitable for all of us .. well unless we cark it first of course .. I'd prefer not to though

JackieNo Mon 31-Dec-07 16:59:56

We were talking about this at book group the other day, and a friend who's in her fifties (at a guess), said it's really not been that bad for her. She's had the hot flushes (and carries a fan with her to alleviate themsmile), but says apart from that, it's been OK.

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 17:00:20

lol @ saggar

look twig, if you're not going to join in the jolly, light hearted tone of this thread, I think you should find another thread to spread your doom on

Wags Mon 31-Dec-07 17:00:36

Can I join the club... I am having an early menopause (well I say early, very very, very, very early as I am only 40 cough something). I would hate to confirm any of those symptoms.... but.... give me period pains and cramps and wild lady garden any day. Oh and the thing I dread is grey pubes, will def fall on a sword the day I find one of them, thats if there are enough left to turn grey of course grin

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 17:01:10

there's no club here, wags

Iota Mon 31-Dec-07 17:01:23

a friend of mine was informed by her GP that she was most of the way through hers, and she hadn't noticed. I don't know why they were discussing it though

Twiglett Mon 31-Dec-07 17:02:00

s'my thread ya old dog <sniffs meaningfully>

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Mon 31-Dec-07 17:02:17

Best get me a sword then Wags.

[doomed]

Hey, maybe Tech could design us a peri/menopausal emoticon.

Twiglett Mon 31-Dec-07 17:02:47

have asked for it's own board

needs a name though

Twiglett Mon 31-Dec-07 17:03:10

its ..... arggggghhh .... see the mind is the first to go

JackieNo Mon 31-Dec-07 17:03:25

I think blush is the hot flush emoticon, isn't it?

Wags Mon 31-Dec-07 17:03:25

er sorry, yes of course <shuffles rather embarrassed looking slightly flushed er hot er bit red>

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 17:04:01

a blank sort of emoticon, slightly harrassed

Iota Mon 31-Dec-07 17:04:02

you think you have problems Twig - I put an e in having just now

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 17:04:45

I think this smile is quite a good perimenopausal face. A blank smile

Wags Mon 31-Dec-07 17:04:48

Sagger, sharpening sword as we speak.

WideWebWitch Mon 31-Dec-07 17:05:00

pmsl at this thread
or should it be just pms

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 17:05:17

lol www

JackieNo Mon 31-Dec-07 17:05:58

And hmm is the <what on earth did I come in here for?> emoticon.

Twiglett Mon 31-Dec-07 17:06:25

today I bought a soy in tablet form labelled 'pre-menopause' blush

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 17:06:39

dh wants his n ew year dinner. I'd better go and see if I remember how to cook

WideWebWitch Mon 31-Dec-07 17:06:47

ha ha at emoticons

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 17:07:19

what's a soy?

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 17:08:17

soya?

Twiglett Mon 31-Dec-07 17:08:32

asoy, hiyahhh <hong kong fooey, number 1 superguy>


meant soya

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 17:09:08

you are really losing it, twig

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Mon 31-Dec-07 17:09:13

You know what worries me - shoplifting in an absent moment. God I'd be mortified.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Mon 31-Dec-07 17:09:44

Yes did hmm at Soy but was too polite.

Twiglett Mon 31-Dec-07 17:10:12

mebbe that's what happened to Richard Madeley grin

Iota Mon 31-Dec-07 17:11:16

better put burgen bread on the shopping list, ladies

JackieNo Mon 31-Dec-07 17:13:50

Oh yes, and my mum has just been diagnosed with osteoporosis, so I'm going to have to step up my calcium intake too.

Wags Mon 31-Dec-07 17:14:14

Now see, I am looking at that bread link and wondering where you can get it. Does that mean there is no hope for me?

JackieNo Mon 31-Dec-07 17:14:47

I think I've seen it in Waitrose, Wags.

Tamum Mon 31-Dec-07 17:15:18

Yes, see, mentioning Richard Madeley has just made it worse- Judy, much as I respect her apparent decision not to have plastic surgery, used to look about the same age as him but now looks about 20 years older. How is that fair?

Am lolling at this thread though. I wonder if blush is enough for hot flushes though, maybe we'll need angry

WideWebWitch Mon 31-Dec-07 17:15:40

I've seen it in Tesco

JackieNo Mon 31-Dec-07 17:16:14

Good point, Tamum - I go that colour anyway after exercise, so may well need angry rather than blush.

Wags Mon 31-Dec-07 17:16:27

<whispers> thanks Jackie & WWW.

Iota Mon 31-Dec-07 17:16:50

yes burgen bread is readily available - you just have to be looking for it

(I only know about it because my MIL used to buy it)

Wags Mon 31-Dec-07 17:17:20

Ah, now I was going to mention Judy but didn't want to sound bitchy... but Jesus she ain't a great advert for the menopause is she shock

Tamum Mon 31-Dec-07 17:19:32

Well no, Wags, sadly not. I hate being bitchy too, I genuinely do admire her for not resorting to the knife (I assume she hasn't anyway....) but she changed so suddenly after her hysterectomy. Gulp.

JackieNo, here I am enjoying a perimenopausal Christmas angry

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Mon 31-Dec-07 17:20:00

Hope she hasn't taken HRT. I'd want a refund. Bless her though, putting up with him.

WideWebWitch Mon 31-Dec-07 17:20:38

And he's only 8yrs younger according to Wikipedia DH is ten yrs younger than me <sob> I've just told him we're discussing the menopause and he said "I am SO not looking forward to it" poor bloke has enough to contend with with my pmt

Tamum Mon 31-Dec-07 17:21:07

The "refund" word did cross my mind when I was saying that I assumed she hadn't had plastic surgery, too. Oh, I am being horrible. I blame my hormones.

WideWebWitch Mon 31-Dec-07 17:22:21

Hang on, she's only 49? Surely not?

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Mon 31-Dec-07 17:22:23

Yeah me too. We can blame everything on our hormones.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Mon 31-Dec-07 17:22:49

49?? No....

Tamum Mon 31-Dec-07 17:22:57

Well, www, if it's any comfort, my dh is 14 years older than me and is currently having a nap so he can stay up after midnight (we are having a dinner party)....

WideWebWitch Mon 31-Dec-07 17:23:11

Sorry, she's 59, thank bloody god for that

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Mon 31-Dec-07 17:24:04

Phew! IMDB say 59.

Wags Mon 31-Dec-07 17:24:20

She seemed a bit better when I saw her on something recently, but as you say right after her hysterectomy the change was so sudden. She seemed so shaky and vague and just odd and the way she has aged. May be it hit her hard being in the public eye. I have friends who have been through the menopause and you would never know, they look fab as well. <Small glimmer of hope rushes back in>

WideWebWitch Mon 31-Dec-07 17:24:22

Hmm, not sure if that is comforting Tamum. Dh is PATHETIC about sleep and I keep saying wait til you are ten yrs older matey, stop moaning you wimp. I'm sympathetic, me

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Mon 31-Dec-07 17:24:43

Can we find some positive menopausal role models please?

WideWebWitch Mon 31-Dec-07 17:24:51

Apols for Judy related scare there.

Tamum Mon 31-Dec-07 17:25:20

No, 59 surely...

WideWebWitch Mon 31-Dec-07 17:25:34

Demi Moore?
Elle McPherson?
Marcia Cross
Sarah JP
Hillary Clinton
Fern Britton

Wags Mon 31-Dec-07 17:26:33

Yes but those that look good, are they HRT'd up to their stitched up eyes? I can't take it because of high blood pressure and believe me I wanted to.

Mercy Mon 31-Dec-07 17:26:47

ooooooh at last, a clique I can join wink

Have been having a few menopausal symptoms for about 2 years now. That Power Surge site looks interesting.

Tamum Mon 31-Dec-07 17:26:56

Whoops, too slow there... Actaully she's not bad for 59 then really.

Wags, get your glamorous post-menopausal friends to come on here and give us some tips.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Mon 31-Dec-07 17:27:04

I'm not counting anyone who's had surgery. Tis not allowed.

Iota Mon 31-Dec-07 17:27:34

My mother was fine and looked younger than her years for much of her life. She looks like an old lady now, but she is 77 after all.

I am determined to take after her. smile

Tamum Mon 31-Dec-07 17:27:49

Oh no, Marcia Cross only just had a baby didn't she? That's no good...

WideWebWitch Mon 31-Dec-07 17:29:02

But she's 45
so is Julia Roberts I think, also just had a baby

Tamum Mon 31-Dec-07 17:29:08

<realises with a sob that quite a few of www's list are actually younger than me>

Wags Mon 31-Dec-07 17:29:34

Well one of them I saw recently and she sort of poo pood the whole thing. Said she had a few flushes and that was it. Made me feel like I was making a mountain out of a molehill. I comforted myself with the fact that she had her children in her early 20s not early 40s like I have done and maybe thats why I feel like a great bag of poo.

Mercy Mon 31-Dec-07 17:29:40

My mum looked dreadful from her mid 40s to early 50s. She had a thyroid problem was well though.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Mon 31-Dec-07 17:30:13

Bit worried about HRT myself. <Oh bugger trying to think of the word......indecisive, that's it>

Tamum Mon 31-Dec-07 17:30:35

They must still be full of hormones though surely, so that's why I don't think they can count. I need role models who are properly menopausal, older than me and still gorgeous...

Wags Mon 31-Dec-07 17:30:43

Don't cross em off just yet. My periods never came back after DS was born and a blood test 9 months after he was born showed I was menopausal. They can stay on that list a bit longer I think grin

Iota Mon 31-Dec-07 17:31:38

Sharon Stone

she's older than me smile

as is Madonna

Wags Mon 31-Dec-07 17:31:42

Helen Mirrum (sp?) how old is she?

MulledWino Mon 31-Dec-07 17:31:56

God.. that list on the website is most alarming! I seem to have most of the symptoms.. and I am bloody well 35! hmm

WideWebWitch Mon 31-Dec-07 17:32:38

I will think on Tamum...

I've got to go, dh has cooked an amazing roast beef so off to drink some Champagne and eat it.

Happy New Year everyone!

Should we all be asking our mums how it was for them? Does it follow that our menopauses (what is plural? A flush?) will be similar?

Wags Mon 31-Dec-07 17:33:14

Victoria Wood, Julie Walters at least they managed to keep a sense of humour if all else was failing grin

Tamum Mon 31-Dec-07 17:33:21

Oh yes, Sharon Stone and Helen Mirren, goody. That's more like it.

Mercy, did your mother start to look stunning again in her early fifties then? <hopeful>

JackieNo Mon 31-Dec-07 17:33:48

Isabella Rossellini? How old is she now?

Iota Mon 31-Dec-07 17:33:53

and Michelle Pfeiffer

she's older than me too

Tamum Mon 31-Dec-07 17:34:08

Happy New Year www

JackieNo Mon 31-Dec-07 17:34:18

Judi Dench?

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Mon 31-Dec-07 17:34:23

Collective noun for menopausal women...

A Flush is good

or a Growl?

Wags Mon 31-Dec-07 17:34:24

Yes it often does follow WWW. First thing gynae asked me when I went to see him was how old was my Mum when she had her menopause. I am adopted, so no use there!

JackieNo Mon 31-Dec-07 17:34:52

Happy New Year WWWgrin.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Mon 31-Dec-07 17:35:02

Happy New Year www smile

Mercy Mon 31-Dec-07 17:35:09

Erm, well she looked much healthier.

(and fatter I'm afraid)

MulledWino Mon 31-Dec-07 17:35:16

My mother Does Not Talk About Such Things! hmm It's a fecking good job some random told me what a period was before I started mine.. somewhat late.. because I'd have thought I was haeommorhaging otherwise!

That's a thought.. is there any truth in the saying that the earlier you start your periods, the earlier you have your menopause?

Iota Mon 31-Dec-07 17:35:26

Happy New year WWW

I'm not sure we'll be having our roast lamb as I think that it is still in the fridge

Wags Mon 31-Dec-07 17:35:43

Happy New Year to all, go to go shower for evening out. Would rather stay in and watch TV with a takeaway, must be another symptom.

JackieNo Mon 31-Dec-07 17:36:32

Isabella Rossellini born in 1952, Judi Dench, born 1934shock.

Wags Mon 31-Dec-07 17:36:35

Yup, was almost 16 when I started my periods.

Tamum Mon 31-Dec-07 17:36:41

What I have always wanted to know, and am embarrassed that I don't, is if you have HRT for, say, 5 years, do all the menopausal symptoms come back as soon as you come off the HRT? Or are they just wearing themselves quietly out in the background while you take it?

Wags Mon 31-Dec-07 17:37:28

Right must go, depressing myself now! Will think lovely thoughs of Sharon Stone and the like whilst I get ready trying to avoid the mirrors.

Tamum Mon 31-Dec-07 17:38:14

Have a lovely time Wags, I should go and finish tidying up I think (puddings all made, dh is doing the rest, hurrah).

noddyholder Mon 31-Dec-07 17:39:29

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Mon 31-Dec-07 17:40:44

Sorry noddy? Did you moan?

JackieNo Mon 31-Dec-07 17:41:17

You alright, noddy?

noddyholder Mon 31-Dec-07 17:48:05

I don't want to be a shrunken dried up old granny I am 42 and no signs yet but bloody hell I didn't know it shrank!Where does it go

HappyTwoFRAUsandAndEight Mon 31-Dec-07 17:50:48

I have heard it's true Wino - I started v v v late so am checking daily for signs of extreme grumpiness etc etc etc

JackieNo Mon 31-Dec-07 17:51:38

I can't remember when I startedblush. Might ask my mum, but don't know whether she'd remember.

MulledWino Mon 31-Dec-07 17:53:13

I can't use that one as any kind of a barometer.. I am a stroppy bitch daily and always have been to best of my knowledge!

So many of us posting on this thread are of similar ages to people looking to have their first baby, you realise!! And LOADS of women in late thirties still TTC..

HappyTwoFRAUsandAndEight Mon 31-Dec-07 18:00:37

you'd remember if you'd been as blimmin late as me Jackie <sigh>. You must have been boring and average wink

JackieNo Mon 31-Dec-07 18:02:43

Me - averageshock? Surely notgrin. I remember the occasion, but not how old I was.

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl Mon 31-Dec-07 18:13:40

ok well i'm 50 and i havent read the link as i gather from all your comments you young people that it would all be a bit pointless

i am already diuagnosed mad so i doubt it could get a lot worse

i have had appalling periods for my entire life tho they did get even worse about 20 years ago and became basolutely fucking appalling

i do seem to have missed my last period..i am either pregnant or menopausal..i would guess either could be possible but the latter would seem more likely

and quite possibly less weird and preferable lol

i did think of starting an am i pregnant thread recently but i am just keeping my fingers crossed instead

i have lost loads of weight but i was actually trying to lose 4 stone so i don't think losing nearly 5 counts particularly as a symptom

i actually feel quite chipper

and i have just had my romantic weekend away with a young man and still seemed to be functioning ok tho i did fall asleep in the cionema this pm due to overtiredness

you have all put me off reading about the menopause so i still know nothing and have absolutely no fucking idea what hrt does or prevents or cures

pinetreedog Mon 31-Dec-07 18:34:09

thank you for your calming words, santa.

The rest of you, stop wittering. One of the hallmarks, that is

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl Mon 31-Dec-07 18:36:19

calming babe smile

i do my best

batters Mon 31-Dec-07 19:40:34

Oh I hate this thread so much I have book marked it.

My mother went mad during her seemingly never ending menopause, it was hell for all of us. Oh dear.

I'd say I'll be another one to go mad!

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Mon 31-Dec-07 19:43:16

You know - I've been thinking. I can't be peri menopausal. I'm not even a grown-up yet! I refuse to let it happen.

<tantrum>

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl Mon 31-Dec-07 19:44:17

it seems to me that you can always be labelled as something

LittleBellasRingingOutTheOld Mon 31-Dec-07 23:31:30

Can I ask something a little er--- delicate here? Is a spongy fanny a menopausal symptom? I can't find it on that list.

blush Sorry

JackieNo Mon 31-Dec-07 23:35:58

Haven't seen it on the list either - rather the opposite. Not sure it's a good idea to google it though...

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl Mon 31-Dec-07 23:37:03

what is a songey fanjo fhs

LittleBellasRingingOutTheOld Mon 31-Dec-07 23:37:56

LOL grin grin exactly, haven't bothered to google

Tinker Tue 01-Jan-08 00:44:27

Every time I click on that "34 signs of the menopause" link on Power Surge my conection goes (that's prob a perimenopause thing, isn't it?) But I am very alarmed at my complete inability, in the last few years to get the right words for things. I say the word I see, not the word I want. "put your computer on", "what do you want to eat for your computer"

batters Tue 01-Jan-08 08:22:35

I do that all the time (get the wrong word as opposed to google for a spongy fanny), tinker. Always put it down to being a mother....!

Happy New Year everyone.

WideWebWitch Tue 01-Jan-08 08:34:45

Oh no, I've got to worry about a spongey fanny too? shock

Happy New Year everyone <peri-menopausal blush>

foofi Tue 01-Jan-08 09:31:34

I am about to be 40 and all of this alarms me. I have just stopped taking the pill after about 20 years on it, and I'm wondering if my doctor may have been right - she wanted me to stay on it until it was time to go onto HRT. Maybe it would have masked some symptoms and kept my hormone levels stable? I don't know. As it said in the Guardian piece, I bet if this happened to men, more would be being done to find out.

foxinsocks Tue 01-Jan-08 09:54:14

I've been (artificially) menopausal for a year and been on HRT and it's been marvellous grin.

There are quite a few specialists out there in this area now.

The hot flushes were something else though but I imagine that's because I 'got' the menopause overnight rather than gradually which is the whole point of the perimenopause I guess. There were also some other minor irritating symptoms wink.

I think it's a bit like reading a medicine insert and believing you'll get every side effect iyswim. Everyone will react differently.

Rosylily Tue 01-Jan-08 10:02:39

Good information. I am 40 and well aware of hormones messing me up...increasingly bad pmt, migraines every mid cycle...
I found pregnancy(last year) to be an extreme but very good cure for all those symptoms but with a whole new set of separate symptoms instead grin
And Breast feeding has meant that 10 months later still no af for me...yippee though I am aware of my pmt coming back now.

My mother became a much more peacefull person after her change which started at 42 and went on for ten years....sigh

wanders off singing 'sometimes it's hard...to be a wooo-man....'

foxinsocks Tue 01-Jan-08 10:14:25

ooh peaceful, I could do with peaceful. My mother started going through it in her 30s (I guess why I'm starting to have problems now) so she had a hysterectomy (which was the done thing then I think).

<wanders off to plait pubic hair>

Iota Tue 01-Jan-08 12:47:04

I wish I hadn't opened this thread. Now I'm thinking about it and it really doesn't seem to be much to look forward to.

And when I was in my early 40s I wasn't thinking about menopause, I was busy having babies. grin

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl Tue 01-Jan-08 12:51:07

well i think i have to assume that i've done most of this already and have too much other stuff going on that i have just accepte it as normal...possibly

i think i just put up with things

i don't think you suddenly change over night do you

and how do you know when your mums had this mine certainly never mentioned it

and if i ever mention the word periods to my kids then they go qall tmi

foxinsocks Tue 01-Jan-08 12:55:01

ooh mine never mentioned stuff like this. I only know because the doctor asked me to find out so I phoned my mum's old doctor (abroad) and asked him!

Sobernow Tue 01-Jan-08 13:14:20

I have that thing with words. I say a word related to what I'm trying to say, though, so there is some logic to it.

I was recently telling a colleague about my brother's new girlfriend. He had just broken up from a long relationship and I thought this new woman was his transitional woman. I was trying to say that he was treading water with her, but I started to say doggy-paddling. I realised that was wrong so what I actually said was "Oh, I think he's just doggy-styling with her."

My poor colleague did not know where to put herself.

Am in total denial about the menopause otherwise....

JackieNo Tue 01-Jan-08 13:16:09

lol, sobernowgrin. My mind just goes completely blank, and I have to work my way round it 'you know that thing that's outside the back of the house....the garden, that's it' blush.

sis Tue 01-Jan-08 13:20:13

Not been on MN regularly for ages as most of thethreads no longer seemed very relevant to me but...oh shit...this one is hitting home big timesad. I've been too scared to look at list of symptoms but am bracing myself to do it now.

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl Tue 01-Jan-08 13:20:34

i do that as well but i think i always have done or ive been doing it so long that i think i always have done

i said at the weekend ergodynamic

and thought uhuh that doesnt actually sound like a real word so had to say er is that a word

it isnt smile

also couldnt remember david camerons name so had to say the leader of the conservative party whoever he is ive forgotten and as i was trying to impress a guy i failed somewhat..i did this all weekend actually, hopefully it was cndearing and charming rather than extremely irritating lol

JackieNo Tue 01-Jan-08 13:22:14

I like ergodynamic - cross between ergonomic and aerodynamic, presumably. Definitely ought to be a word.

Sobernow Tue 01-Jan-08 13:24:14

When Iris Murdoch was first being tested for Alzheimer's they asked her who the Prime Minister was. She answered "Oh, I don't know....does it really matter?"

I have been a sufferer of AlkaSelzheimer's for years.....

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl Tue 01-Jan-08 13:24:40

yep he thought it ought to be a word too

actually this is interesting i was nervous about my body failing to be up to the mark but actually it was probably my brain that failed miserably

there is more to this sex with young men business than i anticipated smile

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl Tue 01-Jan-08 13:26:22

is it to do with fatty acids or whatever they are in your brain getting depleted like after you goive birth

WideWebWitch Tue 01-Jan-08 13:55:04

how young?

Sobernow and I are both married to younger men too. lol at these recent posts and HELLO SIS! How are YOU? Long time no see! Wb

NadineBaggott Tue 01-Jan-08 14:07:22

too late,

I've been and gone and done it
without practically knowing about it
it was a breeze, which sounds like what you could do with to cool you down grin

Tamum Tue 01-Jan-08 14:11:50

Oh hurrah Nadine, you can be our mentor and voice of reason.

I can't tell you all how reassuring all this stuff with losing words is- I have been seriously convincing myself that I am going to get dementia even younger than my father and this is it starting.

Sis, lovely to see you back even if you would rather not be on this thread

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl Tue 01-Jan-08 14:13:12

my exdp was 11 years younger but we were together 8 years

i seem to have dropped down to 19 years younger at the mo...not intentionally lol

pinetreedog Tue 01-Jan-08 14:14:50

iota, I now realise you are an old bird but if it's any consolation I always took you for a young(ish), alert, sharp sort of person.

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl Tue 01-Jan-08 14:16:01

lol at old bird

if u called me that and id give u a smack grin

Sobernow Tue 01-Jan-08 14:18:22

Yes, my dh is 9 yrs younger than I am - am a tad worried about what he'll when I stop being as alluringly lovely as I am atm. Main concern, though is having pubescent dds when I am at my worst. Will have to build a padded cell or panic room (or both) onto the back of the house.

WideWebWitch Tue 01-Jan-08 14:20:25

Reckon there's every danger of mine going through his mid life crisis as I come out of the menopause (he hits 40, I hit 50, scary). But we're 9 yrs off that yet. Oh lovely, just realised, dd will be 13, oh joy.

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl Tue 01-Jan-08 14:21:43

that's what happened with me and exdp he felt his 40 birthday approaching and sacked me after my 50th

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl Tue 01-Jan-08 14:22:49

so perceived wisdom is that i must have doen this menopause bsuiness thsn

WideWebWitch Tue 01-Jan-08 14:24:19

Oh no santa. Didn't he want children or have I rememberd that wrong? We have a dd but I realise that's no guarantee he won't go off with a younger/nicer model...

Sobernow Tue 01-Jan-08 14:25:58

I'm hoping that by the time dh dumps me (ie post menopause) I won't give a toss. Will be devastated, natch, but if am dried up libidoless prune won't worry about much except the money.....

[joking but secretly worried emoticon]

WideWebWitch Tue 01-Jan-08 14:26:40

pmsl in a scared way sobernow

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl Tue 01-Jan-08 14:26:51

yep thats the one..dont know how he is getting on with project

he found he couldnt pay his rent and moved into his mums lol

he decided he wanted 4 children on nil income ill be surprised if he does..anyway he will lose interest after the first

Sobernow Tue 01-Jan-08 14:27:17

We're off out for a walk right now - hope my hips will make it....

pinetreedog Tue 01-Jan-08 14:27:54

you might prefer cats by then, sober.

And I've called myself and friends 'old birds'. It's a term of endearment wink

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl Tue 01-Jan-08 14:28:26

seriously i went into panic mode thinking that i would never have sex again after he left

but i neednt have worried

pinetreedog Tue 01-Jan-08 14:29:10

take the stick, sober, take the stick

or nonchalantly pick up a small branch and 'pretend' it's helping you up hills

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl Tue 01-Jan-08 14:30:29

oh u can get those power walking sticks they are quite acceptable

Iota Tue 01-Jan-08 14:47:09

doggie - I am not thrilled at being an old bird, but am quite flattered by the rest of your comments smile

I give the impression to the rest of the world that I am 10 yrs younger by having young children (had 'em in early 40s as mentioned below) and by hanging round with younger people - that include dh BTW

oh and dying the grey hair helps too grin

so my top tips:

have a baby in your early 40s and get a younger man grin grin

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl Tue 01-Jan-08 14:48:18

doesnt a younger man make u look older tho

Iota Tue 01-Jan-08 14:50:11

Santababy - only if you go out in daylight together wink

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Tue 01-Jan-08 18:41:04

hmm I think you've done the right thing having children later.

Mother Nature is seriously cruel giving me the menopause and 3 teenagers both at the same time.

Tinker Tue 01-Jan-08 19:45:29

Tick to:
baby in early 40s
younger man
dye hair

Actually, seriously, does having children later have any bearing at all on anything? [desperate emoticon] I think you are supposed to live longer if have children later but, what, live longer as a dried up old prune?

Mercy Tue 01-Jan-08 19:57:16

Early 40s + toddler + menopause = aaaaaaaaaaaargggggghhhhhhhhhhh

WideWebWitch Tue 01-Jan-08 20:00:08

I had first baby at 30, second at 36/7

I think we ought to put a shout out for mumsnetters who have been through the menopause to come here and tell us about it, anyone think that's a good idea? A sort of "menopause with mumsnet" thread.

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl Tue 01-Jan-08 20:24:31

that sounds grim

still havent read that link i just dont like medical stuff

dont take medication either so i doubt id be taking hrt

and it would probably have some wildly unacceptable affect on my brain and i would be another kind of nutter from uasual

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Tue 01-Jan-08 20:27:18

Go for it www. If I've got to get used to drinking Soya milk everyday and eating seeds I need time to get used to the idea.

sis Tue 01-Jan-08 20:27:57

Hello again. I had a quick look at The List and gave up after about ten things as it was just too depressing. I have a sister who is 11 years older than me and I remember when my mum was menapausal - if I am going to follow them then poor dh and ds are in big trouble!

Does having a baby when I was 33 count as latish motherhood? also dh is younger - well, okay, only by 7 months but still, younger.

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl Tue 01-Jan-08 20:29:01

so does a younger guy make you have a latere menopause then

sis Tue 01-Jan-08 20:31:30

Don't know but am hoping that it does!

Twiglett Tue 01-Jan-08 20:32:30

yes WWW .. exactly

we need MNers who have been through it to come and spread their knowledge and wisdom

(I'm taking soya supplements as of today just in case grin)

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl Tue 01-Jan-08 20:33:56

so soya supplements and a younger man are good what else

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Tue 01-Jan-08 20:35:12

So Twig - spill the (Soya) beans. What are you taking and how much?

SpacecadetOnADiet Tue 01-Jan-08 20:37:28

crapsad..just read list of symptoms and reckon im in the perimenopause(im 36 this year)

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Tue 01-Jan-08 20:40:11

Don't be sad Spacey.

Embrace your menopause hmm Tis inevitable.

SpacecadetOnADiet Tue 01-Jan-08 20:41:50

tis inevitable that im going to turn into my mothergrin

Iota Tue 01-Jan-08 20:42:22

Twig you whippersnapper - you have started taking supplements at the tender age of 40 shock

I'm waiting til I get symptoms

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Tue 01-Jan-08 20:43:04

I've already turned into mine. She looks back at me disapprovingly from the mirror every morning.

I remember my mother's menopause. Grim.

Twiglett Tue 01-Jan-08 20:45:30

I went to our local health food place and they had a packet of soya supplements labelled pre-menopause so I bought them

figured a month taking them .. what's the harm?

Twiglett Tue 01-Jan-08 20:46:32

I shan't turn into my mother .. I shan't I shan't

<clicks ruby slippers together>

WideWebWitch Tue 01-Jan-08 20:46:52

Ok will start thread asking anyone who's been through it to come and tell it like it is.

Mercy Tue 01-Jan-08 20:48:22

But who has been through the whole thing so far?

I think we need an age and symptoms list - including when we had dc and if possible when our mothers started the the big M.

(and I don't think 33 counts as late motherhood and neither does having a younger partner count - especially if they are only 7 months younger than you grin)

lol at embrace your menopause grin it's sooooooo empowering. I may end up sending a photo of my menopausal bits to Nuts mag.

WideWebWitch Tue 01-Jan-08 20:54:53
SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl Tue 01-Jan-08 20:55:25

well i read the article nd had a quick glance at the powersurge thing well the sex bit

i think a lot of the things in the article are probably masked for me by the fact i have bpd

though id o think my hair is falling out of myhead though it could be just that it is long and was always cropped fbfeore..clings to this idea

Twig
Thankyou for starting this thread.

I have just been ticking the boxes, nausea, dizzyness, irritibility, mood swings (my poor DCs, I keep snapping at them )

I had a smear recently and asked my gynae if she thought that it could be early menopause and she laughed and said that she has never heard of this. Made me feel really silly.

I am NOT a hypochondriac, but I feel really ill every 4 weeks (normally the first few days of my period) nausea, tummy upset, dizzyness. It has spoilt 2 holidays and I was starting to get worried it was something serious.

Am going to have a proper look at the website now to see the remedies.

Btw, iron tablets seem to help combat the nausea. Don't know why, I had my iron levels checked and they were ok.

I always wanted to be in a MN clique

differentYearbutthesamecack Tue 01-Jan-08 20:58:49

Replying to WWW other thread

I went through early menapause as a result of a complete hysterectomy and I dont have HRT for personal reasons.

I had hot flushes for two weeks, mood swings for about 3 months and have been fine since

see theres hope for you all yet

I do suffer memory loss occassionally but isnt that just an effect of being knackered out by dd?

fortyplus Tue 01-Jan-08 21:05:10

I'm 46 and don't have periods any more because I've had endometrial Ablation. But I am never in any doubt about when it would be my period iykwim... grouchy beforehand, bloating, weight gain, poor concentration etc etc.

I'm sure i've been in the peri-menopause for years, but as I don't have periods I wonder how I'll tell when I've been through the menopause?

WideWebWitch Tue 01-Jan-08 21:17:33

What's the ablation thing 40+? Is it related or separate?

differentYearbutthesamecack Tue 01-Jan-08 21:22:39

oh sorry I have gained LOADS of weight.

I was 8 stone prior to menapause and came out of hospital after having hysterectomy in a pair of size 8 trousers, now in a size 14 and weigh nearly 12 stone.

BUT I do intend to do something about that now, and I do think a lot of it was because I have quite a few serious operations in a short time and couldnt really exercise.

fortyplus Tue 01-Jan-08 21:23:19

I've posted quite a few bits about it before. I had horrendous heavy periods and it's a 5-minute op that basically fries your womb lining so it just doesn't function any more. It's been BRILLIANT for me. smile

I have put on weight too, but that is more to do with too many mincemeat pies and red wine. blush

webcrone Tue 01-Jan-08 21:32:43

OK, I am 46 and have no doubts that I am peri-menopausal - have had tests, although they're not that conclusive as hormone levels are known to fluctuate wildly from day to day. Have been getting night sweats a couple of times/week for approx 18 months; periods still regular but have become heavier; PMT like never before (spirits plummet to depths previously inconceivable). Sadly no weight loss, but different distribution of body fat.

AND, SO FAR, IT'S OK! I've even heard there's life after the menopause, not as we know it maybe, but life nonetheless grin.

It's a bit weird accepting that my child-bearing days are over (even though I decided this some while ago, it's still a bit odd knowing it aint my decision any more) but no wierder than may other things I've lived through!

For the record my kids are late teens/early twenties (I had 'em young, very young, maybe too young), my mother was officially through the menopause at 43 (she had the period from hell on holiday aged 42 and then nothing, so 12 months without a period and it's 'official'). Oh, and I started menstruating at 13.

I recommend Gail Sheehy's 'The Silent Passage' as an informative and interesting read on the subject.

WideWebWitch Tue 01-Jan-08 21:34:05

Thank you webcrone and fortyplus and different year.

Tamum Tue 01-Jan-08 21:35:59

Oh, this is what we need- lots of people who haven't had too bad a time. I do get heavier periods now, so I think that's probably a sign, and PMT worse than any time post-children but nowhere near as bad as it was in my twenties.

Hey, perhaps we should have tickers ( x months since my last period/hot flush etc)

WideWebWitch Tue 01-Jan-08 21:36:57

snort at tickers
I do think lots of us (well, me for sure) are a bit scared of this and do need people to tell us like it is.

WideWebWitch Tue 01-Jan-08 21:38:17

I think it'll be VERY odd after omg, THIRTY years of periods (I started mine at 11) not to have them any more. Hey, how long before you can not use contraception? <Brightens> Or is it not an issue because you're libido's fked anyway (and is the only thing that is har de har)

Tamum Tue 01-Jan-08 21:38:21

Oh, I do agree www. I just can't help being flippant blush but this thread is great, I feel much less alone.

So, what is the youngest that it perimenopause is likely to start? I will be 35 tomorrow and that is why my doc was so dismissive.

WideWebWitch Tue 01-Jan-08 21:41:01

Oh I wasn't remotely berating you for being flippant, not that I think you were, not at all Tamum. I just realised that I was reading these new posts VERY avidly!

fortyplus Tue 01-Jan-08 21:42:59

I think the whole thing of getting old is weird. I was saying this last night to the group of friends that we spent New Year's Eve with. The females amongst us went to school together and we've all known eachother's husbands for years. I was the last one to meet mine - 21 years ago!

We still laugh about the same stupid things.

Last night we were joined by one of the 20 year old daughters and her boyfriend. I asked what she was doing with a load of old fogies like us and she replied 'Because you're all funny and you're not into going out and getting blind drunk just for the sake of it.'

So I suppose your attitude probably stays the same throughout your life - you just have to put up with getting a bit creaky as the years go by. smile

Stepfordsroastingonanopenfire Tue 01-Jan-08 21:49:12

Spoiler thread - my mum said that it's not good emotionally when your periods stop, because there's no emotional 'release'. Anyone else heard this? Anyway, I have decided that this is bolleaux. No contraception? Bring it on!

webcrone Tue 01-Jan-08 21:50:20

My experience is that it's a transition rather than an 'event' as such, and that the changes can be rather subtle, so there's time to get used to it, if you see what I mean?

One other thing I've noticed is that my sleeping patterns have changed - I seem to need less sleep and wake earlier, and I can get LOADS done in those extra hours (though I do wish it was light earlier!).

I do have some random and deeply irrational anxieties from time to time, though, but they do pass! And I do find myself wondering who I am becoming now the fertile years are behind me.

pinetreedog Tue 01-Jan-08 21:51:01

This all sounds a little more upbeat now. And I much prefer the sound of a book called 'th silent passage'. We might never notice it.

Twiglett Tue 01-Jan-08 21:52:25

getting older is weird

bloody hell I watched Point Break last night (yes I know it was New Year's Eve) and do you know it was made 17 years ago shock .. 17

pinetreedog Tue 01-Jan-08 21:52:29

scrub that final para, crone. I'm feeling the soil again

fortyplus Tue 01-Jan-08 21:52:37

A couple of weeks before I went for endometrial ablation I happened to mention it to the Occupational Health woman at work. She looked at me in a caring and concerned way and said something like... 'One word of warning... be prepared to grieve for your lost fertility... it takes people by surprise, sometimes.'

Food for thought, I suppose, but in my case it was BOLLEAUX with a capital 'B'.

No periods? BLOODY BRILLIANT! grin

WideWebWitch Tue 01-Jan-08 21:54:00

No contraception, wow, now THERE'S an upside imo!

Tamum Tue 01-Jan-08 21:54:01

Oh damn, I am waking earlier too, the writing is on the wall,clearly Don't worry www, I didn't think you were berating me, just aware that I was being more upbeat than I really felt!

We need lots of words like transition, silent, phase, that kind of thing- much better.

fortyplus Tue 01-Jan-08 21:55:45

Funnily enough in my case I can't stop using contraception as endometrial ablation wouldn't do anything to prevent ectopic pregnancy.

Pollyanna Tue 01-Jan-08 21:57:41

I have had the symptoms in the list for a couple of years (am 37) - I stumbled upon the list a while ago, but my doctor doesn't seem to accept that the perimenopause exists. I even pointed out to him that the symptoms started when my periods came back with my periods after bfg dd3.

One thing to beware of - I fell pregnant with dd3 on day 6 of my cycle and am pg again after conceiving after day 18 shock

On the bright side, at least the perimenopause symptoms have gone smile

webcrone Tue 01-Jan-08 21:58:33

I rather like the thought of becoming someone who is no longer defined by the capacity to conceive. It took me by surprise, rather, that quite a lot of who I consider myself to be has been defined by this over the years, and it's rather freeing to look beyond it.

WideWebWitch Tue 01-Jan-08 21:59:31

Please could someone post the list again, I can't see it. Thank you dear.

Tamum Tue 01-Jan-08 22:00:17

webcrone I think I love you.

Pollyanna, congratulations! (on the pregnancy, not the perimenopausal symptoms)

fortyplus Tue 01-Jan-08 22:02:26

Here it is again...

Perimenopause symptoms

Twiglett Tue 01-Jan-08 22:04:40

sorry 40+ that's the scary article

this is the list of perimenopause symptoms

WideWebWitch Tue 01-Jan-08 22:07:25

Oh thank you, sorry, I had read that, I thought there was a tick list somewhere! There is on the power surge site, just reading it now.

pinetreedog Tue 01-Jan-08 22:09:35

that list is just so awful. Just as we were breaking through the cloud

Tamum Tue 01-Jan-08 22:10:36

Shouldn't we all be watching Jam and Jerusalem?

fortyplus Tue 01-Jan-08 22:11:09

Thanks, Twig!

I hadn't realised that my occasional rapid heartbeat could be a symptom.

JJMumsnet (MNHQ) Tue 01-Jan-08 22:11:16

Found this What an interesting and slightly terrifying thread!

WideWebWitch Tue 01-Jan-08 22:11:41

MI, you should write about this. I've hardly ever read anything about tihs aimed at my age group.

JJMumsnet (MNHQ) Tue 01-Jan-08 22:11:42

argh, meant to change my name for that.

Tamum Tue 01-Jan-08 22:12:32

JJ, hurrah, how nice to see you again Albeit in this context, of course.

fortyplus Tue 01-Jan-08 22:13:07

You weren't having a 'confused and disorientated' moment, were you? grin

JJ
Now, now. No secrets in the... what was the name of our clique again?

webcrone Tue 01-Jan-08 22:20:23

It's a real shame that there's some that finds the thread slightly terrifying. Hey, we've done PREGNANCY and CHILDBIRTH and survived!

Transitioning through the menopause does not mean that the sky will fall in!

JJ Tue 01-Jan-08 22:21:25

'Confused and disorientated' is my life, unfortunately. ;) Actually, I'm not really sure how I can possibly get more forgetful...

It is interesting - a woman I know went through early menopause and it was a horror for her, in large part because of the difficulty of diagnosis.

Nice to see you too, Tamum!

Tinker Tue 01-Jan-08 22:22:35

Could someone be awfully kind and cut and paste The List for me? Every time I click on the link my connection goes.

I wasn't remotely worried about menopause, I have to say, before this thread; hadn't really occurred to me to be so so far.

Twiglett Tue 01-Jan-08 22:23:33

the thing is this site kept me sane and comforted when going through early stages with first young child and I felt rather less alone

I think many of us, as can be seen from this, are at the stage of our lives when we are facing something else we cannot fathom until we go through it

I'd like not to do it alone personally

I'd like to do it in the company of sane and insane, humourous, intelligent and witty posters who understand and share the experience
(or you lot might do at a pinch <guffaw>)

Twiglett Tue 01-Jan-08 22:25:29

here you go Tink

Here is the list of: "The 34 Signs of Menopause:"

1. Hot flashes, flushes, night sweats and/or cold flashes, clammy feeling (related to increased activity in the autonomic / sympathetic nervous system). Without becoming too, technical, messages are sent to the hypothalmus because of declining estrogen production via neurons which result in vasodilation -- widening of the lumen of blood vessels (lumen being the cavity of a tubular organ, i.e., the lumen of a blood vessel,) which, in turn, causes flushing or hot flashes. Tips for treating/minimizing (and even avoiding) hot flashes: Power Surge's Menopause Survival Tips. Also, read the Power Surges (hot flashes) Forum

2. Bouts of rapid heartbeat (related to increased activity in the autonomic / sympathetic nervous system) Note: Along with rapid heartbeat (palpitations), women can experience skipped heartbeats, irregular heartbeats. These are generally normal vasomotor responses experienced during menopause - usually due to fluctuating hormone levels. However, if these problems continue, it's always a good idea to be checked by your health care practitioner. An echocardiogram is a common procedure to tell the doctor what he needs to know about your heart. If your health care practitioner doesn't suggest it, ASK FOR IT! Read the Palpitations, Heart Issues, Hypertension Forum

3. Irritability. Note: Along with irritability, a host of "anger" problems can develop during menopause. Just as a perimenopausal woman can find herself suddenly crying for no apparent reason or provocation, so can she find herself reacting to given situations in an angrier manner than she normally does. This anger can sometimes feel like "rage." Again, this is hormone-induced, but for some women, the anger can become inappropriate and a woman can feel like she's out of control. There's nothing wrong with seeking counselling to discuss these issues with a mental health professional. This is a challenging time of life and some objective outside help can be tremendously useful in helping a woman cope with all the emotions she's feeling. Remember, menopause isn't simply physical changes, but emotional and spiritual changes as well. There's an excellent forum on the Power Surge Message Board that deals with the issues of Anger / Mood Swings / Rage.

4. Mood swings, sudden tears. Note: Mood swings can include anything from mood shifts (happy one moment, deprssed the next) to sudden bouts of crying when nothing overt has occurred to cause the crying. Mood swings can and have been misdiagnosed as bipolar disorder because one can feel such extremes of emotions due to hormone imbalance. Anxiety, depression, panic attacks and even feelings of agoraphobia aren't uncommon during menopause. The panic attacks often can develop with the onset of hot flashes. For some women, hot flashes can be severe and quite frightening.

5. Trouble sleeping through the night (with or without night sweats). Note: This can develop into insomnia or just waking at 2 in the morning for an hour. Relaxation and breathing exercises can be useful at this time -- many women may log onto the Power Surge message boards and are surprised to find so many other women there in the middle of the night. More help on the Insomnia, Sleep Disorders Forum

6. Irregular periods: shorter, lighter or heavier periods, flooding, and phantom periods. Note: A phantom period is when you experience all the symptoms you're accustomed to having before you menstruate -- but... no period comes. This is a common experience during perimenopause before a woman's period actually stops.

7. Loss of libido (sex drive). Note: Not every woman loses her libido entirely during perimenopause, although some may temporarily. Many women simply have a decreased interest in sex - often it's simply because they generally don't feel well and sex is the last thing on their mind! Also, bear in mind that there are many medications that can affect one's libido, including the anti-depressants some women take to cope with the depression and anxiety associated with menopause to anti-hypertensives.

8. Dry vagina (results in painful intercourse) Note: Click here for an excellent article about vaginal dryness, sexuality and midlife relationships. Recommended: Sexual Issues/Libido Forum

9. Crashing fatigue. Note: I've never been able to determine if the "fatigue" associated with perimenopause is a symptom in and of itself, or if it's a side effect of the cumulative symptoms and general exhaustion (from them) many women experience. Take all the symptoms and "dump" them on one person -- is it any wonder perimenopausal women are so fatigued? If you can, try to find time to grab a nap. One of the things that helped my fatigue, and it's all chronicled in my personal odyssey to find remedies, is the use of considerable amounts of soy isoflavones and protein, which I found in Revival Soy. I can't say that it specifically targetted and relieved the crashing fatigue, but it helped so many other symptoms and gave me a burst of energy, that I feel comfortable in attributing the fatigue relief to Revival. There are various vitamins, such as those in the "B" family, that can help with fatigue as well. Also, increased amounts of vitamin C. The Recommendations page lists numerous vita-nutrients that can be useful in treating fatigue and other symptoms associated with perimenopause.

10. Anxiety, feeling ill at ease.Note: One of the biggest complaints during menopause. Read the Anxiety/Stress Forum

11. Feelings of dread, apprehension, and doom (includes thoughts of death, picturing one's own death). Note: It's possible that this can be a manifestation of depression associated with menopause, or possibly feelings that come from going through daily discomfort through a difficult menopause transition that can last anywhere from 3-12 years. A woman living under these circumstances can feel totally overwhelmed and frightened by the physical, psychological and spiritual changes. When there seems to be no reprieve from the suffering, for some it can leave them feeling drained wondering when and IF they'll ever feel well again. It isn't unusual for women at this time of life to have thoughts about dying. One phase of their life is coming to a close (not soon enough for many). There may be apprehension and fear about moving on to the next phase of life and wondering whether things will get better or worse. Helpful: The Panic Attacks / Disorder / Fear / Apprehension Forum

12. Difficulty concentrating, disorientation, & mental confusion. Note: Forgetfulness during perimenopause is often referred to lightly and humorously as "brain fog" but it's not always funny. Note: An excellent article, Menopause And The Mind. Also, visit the Memory Loss, Foggy Thinking, Forgetfulness, Verbal Slips Forum

13. Disturbing memory lapses. Note: See #12,

14. Incontinence -- especially upon sneezing, laughing: urge incontinence (reflects a general loss of smooth muscle tone).

15. Itchy, crawly skin (feeling of ants crawling under the skin, not just dry, itchy skin Note: the feeling of ants crawling on your skin is called "formication") Visit the Your Skin: Dryness, Itching, Vaginal Dryness, Disorders, Discomfort Forum

16. Aching, sore joints, muscles and tendons. (may include such problems as carpal tunnel syndrome). Note: Osteoarthritis can develop during perimenopause - and those with existing arthritic and/or rheumatic pain may find it's exacerbated during the menopausal transition. See the Joints Aches and Pains/Arthrisitis Forum

17. Increased tension in muscles.

18. Breast tenderness. Note: Breast swelling, soreness, pain.

19. Headache change: increase or decrease. Note: Many women develop migraine headaches during perimenopause. However, if one doesn't have a history of migraine headeaches, they're generally a short-lived experience of perimenopause. Also see the Headaches, Migraine Forum

20. Gastrointestinal distress, indigestion, flatulence, gas pain, nausea. Note: For nausea, try some ginger or, as I use, boiling hot water with a few teaspoons of lemon or lemon juice concentrate in it. Many women also develop acid reflux (Gerd). For some, it can be an uncomfortable feeling of severe burning sensations in the throat. If it persists, see your health care practitioner.

21. Sudden bouts of bloat. Note: Bloating, water retention are common complaints during perimenopause. Also, Acid reflux and heartburn are very common during perimenopause. Treat them as you would if you weren't going through menopause.

22. Depression (has a quality from other depression, the inability to cope is overwhelming, there is a feeling of a loss of self. Natural hormone therapy, ameliorates the depression dramatically). Note: There are various natural methods of treating depression. Read Power Surge's Menopause Survival Tips. Also, many women using progestins or progesterone supplementation experience "depression" as a side effect. Power Surge recommends only naturally compounded, bio-identical hormones. Naturally compounded estrogen and progesterone supplementation doses can be individually adjusted to suit each woman's needs. So, if a woman is experiencing depression from progesterone, the level of progesterone supplementation can be reduced until the compounding pharmacist comes up with the right blend. The combination of estrogen and progesterone is important in achieving the desired results. Other remedies, such as St. John's Wort can be very effective in alleviating the depression associated with menopause.

My personal experience was that my perimenopause-related depression was elliminated when I started using Revival Soy Protein Revival is excellent for mood swings, but I was astonished by the impact it had on the hormone-related "lows" I experienced before using it. Also recommended, The Depression Forum

23. Exacerbation of any existing conditions. Note: Often, conditions women had prior to entering perimenopause become exaggerated (worse) during the menopause transition.

24. Increase in allergies. Note: Many women who suffer from allergies develop worse allergies during the menopausal years. Many women who've never had allergy or respiratory problems may develop them for the first time. Many people don't realize that histamine levels are affected by hormone levels. Women can develop wheezing, coughing and a host of respiratory problems. This generally disappears as the hormones level out once a woman becomes menopausal.

25. Weight gain. (is often around the waist and thighs, resulting in "the disappearing waistline" and changes in body shape.) A good read, Weight Gain and Fitness Issues

26. Hair loss or thinning, head or whole body, increase in facial hair. Note: There is often a loss of pubic hair during menopause. Many women are more comfortable simply shaving their pubic area instead of having patches of hair.

27. Dizziness, light-headedness, episodes of loss of balance. Note: Although common complaints uring menopause, I always recommend anyone suffering from dizziness, dysequilibrium have her blood pressure checked just to be on the safe side. However, women can experience these symptoms during perimenopause without having hypertension.

28. Changes in body odor. Note: I wouldn't be too concerned about this one. It can happen, but in 13 years of running Power Surge, I've heard of relatively few cases of developing body odor during menopause.

29. Electric shock sensation under the skin & in the head ("take the feeling of a rubber band snapping against the skin, multiply it (exponentially, sometimes) radiate it & put it in the layer of tissues between skin & muscle & sometimes a precursor to a hot flash.") Note: Those buzzing sensations, as though you've put your finger into a live electrical socket, can be frightening. They're all part of the hormones, nerve endings and electrical waves running through our bodies when our hormones are constantly fluctuating. Many women experience this during perimenopause, but it eventually passes.

30. Tingling in the extremities (can also be a symptom of B-12 deficiency, diabetes, or from an alteration in the flexibility of blood vessels in the extremities.)

31. Gum problems, increased bleeding.

32. Burning tongue

33. Osteoporosis (after several years)

34. Brittle fingernails, which peel & break easily.

Some additional signs from Dearest:

Dry skin / skin changes
Internal shaking / tremor-like feelings. Read the Internal Shaking Forum
Acne and other skin eruptions
Itching wildly and erratic rashes
Shoulder pain / joints / arthritis development or flare up in preexisting conditions
"Heart pain" - a feeling of pain in the area of the heart (if persistent, get checked by your health care practitioner)
Acid reflux / heartburn / difficulty digesting certain foods

Some of the 34 signs may also be symptoms of one of the following:

Hypothyroidism
Diabetes
Depression with another etiology
Other medical conditions (see The Educate Your Body Library)

If you have reason to believe you may have one of these conditions, see your healthcare practitioner for treatment.

Dearest Note: Remember that although these may be common complaints during menopause, they might also indicate some other health problem. Be sure to consult with your personal health care practitioner before attributing these symptoms to menopause.

JJ Tue 01-Jan-08 22:25:42

Pregnancy only lasts 9 months though.

It's the nuttiness I'm scared of. I told my husband about this thread and said "Y'know, it makes you crazy" to which he replied "..er". grin

Am not really terrified, just not looking forward to it. Although no periods and the end of PMT at some point will make it worth going through!

WideWebWitch Tue 01-Jan-08 22:27:40

Absolutely Twig re your post of 01-Jan-08 22:23:33

Tamum Tue 01-Jan-08 22:28:50

Me too, not terrified, just not looking forward to it. I think it's the idea of being a kind of cliched figure of fun with hot flushes that I find the most off-putting. Agree with Twiglett though, it's really good to think that we might be able to go through some of it together, with plenty of wit and flippancy

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl Tue 01-Jan-08 22:29:21

well i read that 34 pointers list and tbh it didnt seem too concerning to me..some of the worst things seem to be the mental ones and I have those anyway so once you take those out i have had sweaty nights from time to time but not so you would really class it as anything particualrly awful i just put a different t shirt on

i'm sure i must have practically finished with this stuff so maybe its not so bad

Tinker Tue 01-Jan-08 22:31:10

Thank you kindly Twig.

Am rubbing my hands in (temporary) smug glee since, of teh symptoms I do have, I've had them for years and years. Except forgetting words hmm

I am not frightened of the whole thing, it would just be good to be informed and have someone to share experiences with.

What gets me is that women have to find this kind of help and info from the internet and not from the supposed experts.

Tinker Tue 01-Jan-08 22:33:09

Mmm, yes, being the subject of the "well, she's having her hot flushes" comments at work any time you open a window is not something I'm looking forward to.

JJ Tue 01-Jan-08 22:35:59

Does anyone know about / remember her mother's experiences? Mine didn't notice shock but is a bit of a loon who carries on regardless as if nothing has happened for most things. ("Most things" could conceivably include loss of a limb, nuclear war, etc etc)

I can remember Mum being really bad tempered for a while and her friend saying, "oh, she is going through the change." I think she was about 40ish.

Mum denied it for ages though.

Tinker Tue 01-Jan-08 22:40:28

Don't remember my mum's and can't ask anyone now.

WideWebWitch Tue 01-Jan-08 22:41:20

Oh that's sad Tinks. I hope you're ok or as ok as can be expected x

JJ Tue 01-Jan-08 22:50:49

I'm sorry about your mum, Tinker.

Tamum Tue 01-Jan-08 22:56:22

I'm sorry Tinks xx

Twiglett Tue 01-Jan-08 23:05:26

one thing that does worry me about having had my children in my 30's is that by the time they are in the worst throes of the hormonal excesses of irrational puberty I may well be going through my own hormonal excesses shock eek

LittleBellasRingingInTheNew Tue 01-Jan-08 23:05:36

This thread made me watch Jam and Jerusalem <glum>

LittleBellasRingingInTheNew Tue 01-Jan-08 23:06:45

Twig - agree

My five year old is already a tweenie. Cannot imagine what it's going to be like when we're both mad.

JackieNo Tue 01-Jan-08 23:08:22

Twiglett - I agree re the having children in your 30s thing - on more traditional timescales, women would have had children earlier, I guess, and the menopause would somehow see them morph into serene grandmother figures. But it won't be like that for us - we'll still be in the throes of bringing up our children.

Tinker Tue 01-Jan-08 23:10:02

<Didn't mean to put a downer on this thread. Was just thinking factually out loud.>

MrsSchadenfreude Tue 01-Jan-08 23:42:34

I don't have any many of the symptoms, but am 42, so I think that qualifies me to join in.

I don't look forward to it but have two friends in their late 50s (one early 60s) who have both gone through it and come out smiling. Both look fab for their age and one regularly pulls much younger men. (Her current shag is 20 years younger than her and thinks they are the same age.)

HuwEdwards Wed 02-Jan-08 09:20:09

The scary thing for me is that when my mum died (in her 40s), all the symptoms she had been having months prior to her death, were put down to the menopause....palpitations, anxiety etc. but they were just masking a progressive heart problem which was what killed her.

I already get some of the symptoms mentioned...do I run with it or get everything checked out by the Dr, Just In Case?

JJ Wed 02-Jan-08 09:37:03

Huw - oh, I hadn't thought of that. And women have such different symptoms than men with heart disease, don't they? And HRT can (in some cases) increase the risk I've just read. Arrgggh.

heart disease in women

One of the questions for me is: at what point am I going to do anything about it medically if and when it gets rough? I think it'll have to get pretty bad for me to consider it - had very bad experiences with birth control pills when I was younger and already have to take thyroxine every day for hypothyroidism.

MrsSchadenFreude - that's so reassuring! My youngest is 6 and I'm 36, so hopefully he'll be over the worst of teenage angst by the time I go through it.

I have talked to my aunt about it - she had sweats and hot flashes, I think. She's the most sane person I know, so not sure of the emotional stuff. Will ask her when she's over next.

fortyplus Wed 02-Jan-08 09:38:09

I do know a few people (including mum) who have gone through it. Apparently the hot flushes are the worst thing, which is why that's what everyone talks about. But how bad they are seems to vary a lot from person to person. One friend had them several times each day for about 18 months - so badly that if it was at night she would have to change the bed!

But I think that's quite extreme. Most people seem to reprt an occasional dripping sweat at night and uncomfortable heat from time to time during the day.

It's only a problem for a relatively short time.

One thing I'd be interested to know is... Is it worth starting Calcium supplements in your late 40s? My mum (73) broke her hip this year and had been told that she has osteoporosis - despite the fact that she had a bone density scan in her late 50s and was told that her bones were fine.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Wed 02-Jan-08 09:40:13

Oh gosh HuW. I'm sorry about your mum. Did you ever have any heart tests?

Good to see some experienced MNers here. I think I could cope with the physical stuff but as someone else said it's the more mental side that bothers me. I generally don't do anxiety and doom and I'm anxious <arf!> about it. Or maybe that's a symptom, panicking about panicking hmm

Did we decide on the KY Klub then? We could have T-shirts.

LittleBellasRingingInTheNew Wed 02-Jan-08 10:08:09

I'm curious to know how someone gets through a day at work if they have 2 or 3 hot flushes. If you're in a meeting for example, and suddenly get covered in sweat - how do you deal with that? Do you take changes of clothes to work? Do you take a shower (what if your workplace doesn't have a shower)?

fortyplus Wed 02-Jan-08 10:11:05

I think you just have to loosen your shirt, flap some papers and say 'Excuse me, I'm just having a hot flush - I'll be all right in a moment.' You'll get a bit of sympathy and no one will dare make comments for fear of breaching the Sex Discrimination Act and getting the sack wink

pinetreedog Wed 02-Jan-08 10:12:50

What tehy do, bella, is pick up anything flat beside them and start flapping at their faces wildly to get a breeze. Or they snap at someone to open a window as it's so hot (while everyone else exchanges quizzical looks as the snow blows in). I've seen 'em

pinetreedog Wed 02-Jan-08 10:13:27

They quickly peel off all extra layers as well

Tiggiwinkle Wed 02-Jan-08 10:17:21

My (older) sister had the exreme version of hot flushes-she used to get dozens each day -one day she counted over a hundred!
She was on HRT for some years as a result, which dealt the problem.
I am 51 and just going into the menopause, I think. (Sister and Mum both did so in early fifties). I am dreading the hot flushes, as I have been told I will not be ablt to take HRT (I had cancer 7 years ago and also have a condition which affects blood clotting).
My main symptoms at the moment are sudden flashes of anger; also have feelings of panic in situations that would normally not bother me.
Am relieved to read about the "word slips" on the websites as I have been doing this a lot and wondered what on earth was wrong with me!

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl Wed 02-Jan-08 10:23:05

i have a tendency to think that if you dont think about it then it is less liekley to be a big deal

this is my philosophy generally with medical stuff..in fact is menopasue medical or is it like pregnancy an natural thing ...just carry on regardless and hope it will go away if you dont look at it

pinetreedog Wed 02-Jan-08 10:25:23

I don't want the panic and nager, I don't want the panic and anger, I don't want the panic anc anger

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Wed 02-Jan-08 10:25:31

Ah Santa I'm the opposite. Think about it, imagine the worst, then anything less will be a bonus smile

pinetreedog Wed 02-Jan-08 10:26:01

I agree with santa. It's better if I don't think about things

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Wed 02-Jan-08 10:26:25

Me neither pinetree. I'm deffo panicking about panic. Tis not good.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Wed 02-Jan-08 10:27:32

x-posts are making me look like I'm confused and don't know what I'm thinking.

Tiggiwinkle Wed 02-Jan-08 10:28:53

No-it's not good! Has anyone who is going through/been though it find any natural treatments I would be able to take?

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl Wed 02-Jan-08 10:34:03

im more confused since this thread started than i ever was never thinking about it lol

but i still think if you take out the mental symptoms..then the rest doesnt sound too bad

if you already have mental health problems then not sure they can double themselves up can they so

that only leaves dry vaginas as my thing to feel worried about

FioFio Wed 02-Jan-08 10:36:49

my mum made me laugh

she went through the menopause with 'no symptoms'hmm

she went to the dr as she said she felt her hormone blance wasnt right and he did some blood tests which showed she was post menopasal

she rang me up' oh fio I have been through the menopause with no symptoms at all'

err apart from her mood swings that lasted almost a decade

we get on MUCH better now

iheartdusty Wed 02-Jan-08 10:45:03

As always, MN comes up with the answers, just when I was starting to wonder about all this.

I have been getting quietly very worried about my mental 'fogging', inability to concentrate, word slips, and bursts of anger..and very relieved to think there is an explanation.

On the subject of alternative remedies, can I highlight Black Cohosh and mention a warning against it.
This is often promoted as an HRT alternative. However my mum told me about a major medical study which came out against it. Apparently, rats in the study suffered fewer tumours than those who didn't have it, but the ones they got were much more malignant and fast growing.

Wags Wed 02-Jan-08 11:28:48

My, this thread has taken off.. there must be a lot of us about! Not sure how far I am into the menopause - my specialist said how long is a piece of string (how helpful). I wanted to rage back at him 'TOO BLOODY LONG' but thought that inappropriate and would probably make me sweat... even more. My FSH levels were 12 when I concieved DD 5 years ago. Then concieved DS when DD was just over a year. Last test was when DS was 10 months and the FSH was 54. I really suffer from hot flushes, always been a hot body but apart from the heat that seems to rise through my whole body, I also find it really hard to cool down quickly. If I have walked somewhere it will take a good 20 mins after to stop sweating if I enter a warmish room. Lovely, I do get quite self contious of it as well. I also get much more anger than perviously and the anxiety is horrible. Real feelings of dark gloom and anxiety that I have never experienced before. I have always been a bit of a health worrier but this is worse I hate to say. Have armed myself with rescue remedy to see if that helps. Also, TMI alert, thrush - bloody thrush. Never had it before. Now always get it if run down, it I take AB's will get it within 2 days of starting tablets. Horrible.

Wags Wed 02-Jan-08 11:30:18

and obviously it affects my ability to spell... conscious!!

fortyplus Wed 02-Jan-08 11:52:15

It's the forgetting words that I find most annoying. This extends to not being able to remember the names of my friends' children, sometimes.

My inability to learn new things also grieves me - especially anything related to 'new' technology. If I go on a course about anything computer-related then I've forgotten it all the following week.

Meanwhile the 20-somethings are giving me long-suffering looks and treating me as though I'm thick when I have to ask them how to do it, because of course they were brought up with computers so it all comes naturally to them!

Mercy Wed 02-Jan-08 11:54:54

Right, this is my experience of the menopause so far.

I am 44, had my first period at 14 and my children wwere born when I was 37.7 and 40.5.

I experienced my first symptom just after I turned 42 in the form of a panic attack which I put down to stress as I had the inlaws staying, dd had just started full-time school and an 8 month old ds. However, soon after this I had 2 periods in one month and a horribly spotty face.

This pattern has continued with periods getting heavier, a sudden onset of PMT (which I'd never experienced before), a few night sweats, weird heart beats, greasy hair (another lovely new experience)and more recently, waking up in the night for no obvious reason. And the brain fog of course. I've got to grips (sort of) with the panic attacks now I know the probable cause. I haven't really had any hot flushes so far.

I will speak to my mum later this week and post her experience (she has always been very open about it) but I'm sure her symptoms were exacerbated by being widowed at 45 and being diagnosed with Hashimoto's disease (underactive thryoid).

Mercy Wed 02-Jan-08 11:57:02

Just read your post, fortyplus. I have been an SAHM for several years now - I have no ideas how I'm going to cope with going back to work tbh, I can't learn anything new either.

Tiggiwinkle Wed 02-Jan-08 12:07:59

No. nothing new sinks in with me either! I used to be so quick to pick things up, but now it just goes in one ear and out the other!

fortyplus Wed 02-Jan-08 12:11:09

Take heart! I was sahm for 12 years and just occasionally helped out at friends' businesses.

Then 2 years ago I got a part time job at my local council. They're great and appreciate my skills whilst being reasonably understanding of my failure to learn how to master the intricasies of the computer systems!

Just as long as you can use Word and send e-mails (which obviously you can if you're on here!) there's bound to be something out there for you!

The Public Sector is great for returners - very family friendly. The only problem is that the money isn't fantastic, but at least it's way more than other jobs that fit in with families, such as Classroom Assistants or working in supermarkets.

Mercy Wed 02-Jan-08 12:14:18

Nearly all my work experience has been in the public sector! I think I'll need to ease myself back in by doing some form of voluntary work first.

fortyplus Wed 02-Jan-08 12:16:11

Oops! Can't spell today, either... intricacies

fortyplus Wed 02-Jan-08 12:18:14

Ah... well there you are, Mercy, you'll be laughing! I did all the usual things like run the PTA, set up a local Residents' association, help with the local Scout Group etc, which was all for my own selfish reasons. I hadn't got as far as working out that it was going to help me get a job afterwards!

merlotmama Thu 03-Jan-08 22:08:15

Don't know why I hadn't noticed this thread.

I am past the menopause. It was a skoosh... a few night sweats but I HAVE NEVER HAD A HOT FLUSH IN MY LIFE. [smug emoticon]. They are obviously not compulsory.

Of the list of 34 symptoms, I am not sleeping so well these days (but have a lot on my mind at present), my nails are more brittle and I do have dizzy spells, as did my mother, I remember. I do have low blood pressure, tho, which could account for that. So all in all, nothing to complain about.

One word of warning...my pelvic floor is now trailing along the floor! What was a slight sagging of the vaginal wall after Dcs were born (and which disappeared with time)has reappeared as a cystocele and a prolapse. Apparently lack of hormones affects collagen/ligaments. My GP informed me my elastics have gone!

soapbox Thu 03-Jan-08 22:22:24

I am well on the other side now

I had an early menopause and I have been menopausal for 4 or 5 years now. I never really had any significant symptoms other than Tachycardia (racing of the heart), which was my bodies version of a hot flush I think.

I used HRT for the first year or so, but really really hated it - it made me feel like I wasn't myself at all and I got horrendous spots! The GP tried to convince me that it would make my skin better (thicker - LOL) if I kept taking them but if that was the extent of the good they were doing me then I couldn't see the point of shoving hormones into a body that clearly had no use of them any more!

It isn;t always all doom and gloom, although I think there is a huge range of possible outcomes and I think that is what unnerves people most - the unpredictability of it all!

Lazycow Fri 04-Jan-08 09:59:25

Good grief I've had a good number of those symoptoms all my life (except the irregular or phantom periods).

If anything most of them are a lot better recently (less crying and mood swings etc)and I'm definitley perimenopausal (age 42) as I've had about 4 periods in 2 years.

That is after 30 years of periods that were regular as clockwork and I never missed even one.

So for me the perimenopause stage is no really any different to what I remember of my 20's and 30's.

Lazycow Fri 04-Jan-08 10:01:47

Ah actually there is one symptom that is worse - the memory loss and forgetting the word for things.

That is really annoying but I just assumed that was age rather than the menopause specifically. Having said that, I noticed the memory loss, vagueness etc for the first time in pregnancy (had ds at 40) so maybe it is hormonal.

YeahBut Fri 04-Jan-08 10:19:56

OK, I'm 33 and I have 26 of those symptoms of perimenopause. Including the night sweats and funny periods. Can that be right? My mum went through "official" menopause in her mid 40's which is pretty early isn't it?

JackieNo Fri 04-Jan-08 10:27:29

Well I've just received my (second hand) copy of Gail Sheehy's 'The Silent Passage' which I'm looking forward to reading. It says on the back that it's 'updated for the UK edition including interviews with Fay Weldon, Kate O'Mara, Barbara Taylor Bradford, Antonia Fraser, Eve Pollard, Edwina Currie and others' - so we're in illustrious companyhmm.

Cam Fri 04-Jan-08 10:39:46

Happy New Year ladies/girls !!

I haven't found any of the sypmtoms to be constant, just occasional

I have been "going through" the meonpause for about the last 2 - 3 years, the thing is you're probably most of the way through by the time you recognise that's what's going on

My first syptom was irregular periods when previously had been like clockwork and I am still having them approx every 3 months

I guess one day they will stop completely - who knows when (my mothers did at 55, I'm 51)

I don't get any of the bad moods, in fact pmt symptoms have practically disapperaed and feel calmer than when I had regular peiods

WideWebWitch Fri 04-Jan-08 19:46:41

Oh thanks Soapox and Cam v reassuring

Neverenoughmistletoe Fri 04-Jan-08 21:11:36

To anyone who is interested in reading more about the Menopause, can I recommend a website?
www.menopausematters.co.uk
Run by a Scottish Community Gynaecologist who specialises in the menopause.
I use it as a resource but it is primarily set up for women to access themselves.
And just to clarify-menopause is a restrospective diagnosis.

Cam Fri 04-Jan-08 21:51:48

Yes, it is, necessarily.

But its a process and women are generally aware that they are moving towards it

Mercy Fri 04-Jan-08 22:01:48

yeahbut, you are very young to be experiencing the (peri)menopause. You really should see your GP.

Premature menopause normally requires medication (to alleviate symptoms and to delay the further process iirc)

emsiewill Sat 05-Jan-08 20:55:46

I saw this and thought of you all on this thread...of course I am far too young at 38 to have any interest in the subject.

<<pretends she hasn't added it to her watch list>>

WideWebWitch Sat 05-Jan-08 21:00:28

Oh god emsiewill, that made me cry. My daughter will be 14 as I turn 51.

WideWebWitch Sat 05-Jan-08 21:01:03

And my son will be 20 and may have left home.

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl Sat 05-Jan-08 21:02:55

i've had nigth sweats on and off for 20 years..some of the symptoms are also typical of hormonal imbalance..or maybe just being a woman I've also had a hot water bottle most of the year for most of my life lol

my period has just gone awol..so i'm either pregnant hmm or menopausal

emsiewill Sat 05-Jan-08 21:05:12

Oooh, sorry, didn't mean to upset you...

My dd's will be 23 and 21 when I turn 51...so dh will probably have me all to himself...hmm.

My mum died when she was 52, and her sister had breast cancer before she was 50, and I think had an artificial menopause, so I have no idea what is in store for me - my mum's mum is still alive (aged 93), but would find any question about the menopause very unseemly.

sophable Sat 05-Jan-08 21:08:10

that's such a beautiful article.

WideWebWitch Sun 06-Jan-08 16:24:41

Oh no worries emsiewill. I think I probably need to just stop thinking about this. After all it could be 10 yrs before it happens (or it could be soon, I realise this)

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Sun 06-Jan-08 16:35:22

Www - left home at 20 - you're hopeful aren't you? My neighbour's ds2 has just moved out - he's 32!

That's a fab article - I like the line 'a significant life, significantly lived'. smile[showing wrinkles]

WigWamBam Sun 06-Jan-08 17:51:43

OK, I haven't been anywhere near this thread before; I'm only 45 next month, so it obviously contains very little that would be of any interest to me.

<removes head from sand, shakes sand out of ears>

I'm here partly because the lovely WWW told me that someone here has had uterine ablation, and I'm meant to be having one done in a couple of weeks. Fortyplus (for it is she who has had the ablation) - can I pick your brains about it please?

And I guess as I'm here I might as well make myself comfortable, because denial isn't helping anything grin

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Sun 06-Jan-08 20:18:35

Hello WWB - I'm a 63er too.

WigWamBam Sun 06-Jan-08 21:33:33

A very good year, Saggers grin

MrsSchadenfreude Sun 06-Jan-08 22:07:11

WWB, have you got fibroids?

WigWamBam Sun 06-Jan-08 22:39:31

Apparently I have a couple of small fibroids. Plus I suspect perimenopause too.

Have been having horribly long (like six weeks long) periods, gradually getting worse over nine months or so. Have been taking Norethisterone but it turns me into some mad psycho bitch that I don't like very much! Gynae suggested a choice between carrying on with the Norethisterone, having a Mirena coil, or a Novasure ablation - he was keen on the Mirena (I'm not!) but thinks that I'll end up having the ablation at a later date anyway, even if I had the Mirena.

Have been booked in for a couple of weeks but the gynae didn't give me a lot of information.

WideWebWitch Mon 07-Jan-08 21:05:26

Thought of us all today as I saw The Book People have a book on eating to help you through the menopause, hang on

WideWebWitch Mon 07-Jan-08 21:06:27

here you go well, here WE go, I should say.

Twiglett Mon 07-Jan-08 21:17:09

My amazon order came today with the book I was recommended

Have only read first few pages and it seems absolutely fab

for your delectation and delight:

The Wisdom of Menopause: Dr Christiane Northrup

"As my cylic nature rewired iteslef, I put all my significant relationships under a microscope, began to heal the unfinished business from my past, experienced the first pangs of empty nest, and established an entirely new and exciting relationship with my creativity and vocation"

"in additoin to the hormonal shift that means an end to childbearing, our bodies - and, specifically, our nervous systems - are being, quite literally rewired. It's as simple as this: our brains are changing. A woman's thoughts, her ability to focus and the amount fo fuel going to the intuitive centres in the temporal lobes of her brainall are plugged into, and affected by, the circuits being rewired. After working with thousands of woman who have gone through this process, as well as experiencing it myself, I can say with great assurance that menopause is an exciting developmental stage - one that, when participated in consciously, holds enormous promise for tranforming and healing our bodies, minds and spirits at the deepest level"

grin

great thread.
reminds me of a funny joke, well funny cos i am 8 years off 50.

why don't 50 year old women have babies.
cos they can't remember where they put them!

ha ha.

i think hitting 40 and things do start to go wrong in your body. never thought about the perimenopause though. i think the menopause is a big enough milestone without anything peri about it

JackieNo Tue 08-Jan-08 12:32:47

Ooh Twiglett - that does sound wonderfully positive.

Squiffy Tue 08-Jan-08 15:58:34

Oh shit.

I spent half of last year traipsing (exhaustedly of course) round Bupa specialists before having bunfight and giving up when they tried to diagnose me with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. That was bad enough.... I have 28 of the 34 symptoms and I'm only 41.

And as for "enormous promise for tranforming and healing our bodies, minds and spirits at the deepest level"?...my arse. How the hell am I going to seduce Alan Rickman with a fanjo as dry as a Jacob's cracker?

My name is Oxymandias. Gaze at my shrinking labia and despair.

Wags Tue 08-Jan-08 19:03:33

LOL Squiffy. I am not feeling very positive reading that Twiglett. Not sure how I am meant to cope with a 2 year old and 4 year old whilst my brain re-wires itself. I am frightened!! Was going to finish up the Christmas cheese and biscuits tonight, not sure I can look the Jacobs crackers in the face now Squiffy.

Squiffy Wed 09-Jan-08 09:22:11

So anyway, there I was, last night, unable to sleep (symptom number 16 or whatever) and I couldn't get this ruddy thread out of my head, especially the suggestion that Jamie Oliver is the man to guide us out of this crisis. Was so bored I spent a wee while trying to imagine a menopause guide as written by Jamie Oliver......

"...So then you just chunk up some mushrooms and bung in a blender. And - if you're feeling flush (arf, arf) - you can toss in some fresh truffle as well, 'cos we're all aiming for a nice musty fragrance, ladies, to mask those little accidents. Chuck in some olive oil - not virgin of course (arf, arf) - and wazz it all together. And there you go, a beaut of a lubricant for you, girls. Just spread it all over what's left of your lady garden and up your nookie. Keeps you fresh and fragrant. And him indoors will be chomping his laughing gear round your bits in no time"....

JackieNo Wed 09-Jan-08 12:32:01

pmsl (symptom no. 34) squiffy. Sounds far too interesting to use for that - can we not just use it as pasta sauce?

ZippiBabesBeenAnAwfulBadGirl Wed 09-Jan-08 12:35:24

I am slightly put out I posted on this thread now..as someone picked it up on another thread and accused me of being in a menopausal rage hmm

I haven't found rage at all something that I have experienced in fact

Bink Wed 09-Jan-08 21:32:22

[Squiff dear, word in your ear - Alan Rickman, not a tree worth barking up. If you're a lady that is, as you quite clearly are]

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Wed 09-Jan-08 21:34:56

Ooo Bink. Is he 'on the other bus' as my mum would say? I never knew that.

PMSL at Squiffy.

WideWebWitch Wed 09-Jan-08 22:46:35

lol at Squiffy and Wags (did you used to be someone else on here? )

I don't want my brian rewired either, sob

Squiffy Thu 10-Jan-08 08:37:17

Bink, for Alan Rickman, I am prepared to tolerate certain levels of questionable behaviour... to a point (Lord Copper)...I guess it would depend upon whether - in his particular case of wrong buses - we are talking about Mr Rickman being a postman, or a letterbox? I think we should be told....

Earthymama Sat 12-Jan-08 09:28:57

First re Alan Rickman; I bumped into him in the street in Stratford, wearing the MOST dashing army greatcoat, and being an ACTOR, when he was there with, if memory serves, Harriet Walter, Juliet Stevenson, Fiona Shaw...another year Kenneth Branagh and Brian Blessed were having a chat when I stopped and said to BB, Oh Hi! How are you? I've not seen you for ages!...he agreed....asked I was doing......I thought I knew him in RL, suddenly realised, went purple and rushed off!!

Now, why can I remember all that as though it was yesterday? When it WAS yesterday, ie Friday 11/01/08, I spent the entire day having to retrace my steps, back to the kitchen or upstairs, to work out what the hell I was doing?

And last night DNeice was in crisis re essay on Marxism and the law and rang to ask for help! HELP! I can barely string two sentences together!

Anyway, why did I want this thread; goes to kitchen...bathroom...looks in mirror AAARGH!

Any recommendations for a skin cream that does 'lifting and tightening'? After shingles and stress, my ability to bounce back has hit my face?

I can treat myself so would appreciate any advice?

Bink Sat 12-Jan-08 13:03:12

Squiff, I do not at all want detail on preferences ... imagine if you got the wrong answer. Just imagine. No, don't.

motherinferior Sat 12-Jan-08 13:06:58

But one does gather that he yes not unacquainted with Dorothy. Or indeed Kylie.

Must definitely do something on this. Menopause, not Mr Rickman.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Sat 12-Jan-08 15:02:54

Is that do something about it work-wise MI?Or do something about the actual menopause because if it's the actual menopause then I doubt there's much you can do. Bar top yourself when you hit 45. <saggar counts the days>

God my hip is giving me jip today. I am fallin apart. Seriously.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Sat 12-Jan-08 15:03:48

Falling apart. Bugger finishing sentences I can't even cope with words.

motherinferior Sat 12-Jan-08 15:10:42

Work-wise. In the hope this will constitute Preparation.

I am going to be 45 in June, you know. Although actually I don't agree that Everything Falls Apart After 40. My eyes are definitely doing fally-aparty things, but the rest seems to be holding out OK.

Bink Sat 12-Jan-08 15:52:17

Hey guys (or, no doubt, that should be CRONES)

I am 45.

So there. Funnily enough, it's my eyes that are doing fall-aparty things too. Otherwise, dh brightly remarked, without engaging his brain (well, he's 46, you have to make allowances) the other day that my hands were looking old. (Luckily this does not bother me.)

motherinferior Sat 12-Jan-08 15:59:12

Bink, all eyes do fally-aparty things after 40. Interesting and depressing things, eyes.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker Sat 12-Jan-08 16:05:52

I'm 45 in September. My eyesight went pear-shaped at 16 which coincidentally was another hormone laden period in life. hmm

I'm not liking crones Bink.

Bink Sat 12-Jan-08 16:17:46

can't we reclaim crones?
might be a tough one

well, cronies then. Which is always a term I've liked.

Beetroot Sat 12-Jan-08 16:31:17

as I am 45 on Friday perhaps I ought to start thinking about this - although after reading the dearest article I now want to hide my head under a pillow and cry

Beetroot Sat 12-Jan-08 16:37:33

Twig - what book have you bought - are they on this thread??

sophable Sat 12-Jan-08 16:39:07

beet, i'm 35 and i feel like i should start thinknig about this now!

webcrone Sat 12-Jan-08 16:41:15

I'm loving crones! 'tis the mythological cycle - maiden, mother, crone or bud, blossom, fruit grin

Beetroot Sat 12-Jan-08 16:44:26

Soph - really don't bother - enjoy being 35!

JackieNo Sat 12-Jan-08 19:25:18

Mmm - Cronesnetgrin. Has a certain ring about it, doesn't it.

Twiglett Sat 12-Jan-08 19:30:22

The Wisdom of Menopause

you can look inside it on Amazon and read the introductin as well as see the table of contents

have to admit haven't got beyond first couple of pages yet though

pointydog Sat 12-Jan-08 19:45:53

my mum gave me a huge bundle of mags yesterday and in woman and home was an article on this!

By heather currie whose website someone on here mentioned.

Threw me into a blue funk again

ZippiBabes Sat 12-Jan-08 19:50:41

lol at thinking about it at 35 that's like thinking about being a teenager at 2

Beetroot Sat 12-Jan-08 20:35:31

Have ordered it and a book on eating for the menopause.

OH fuck - I don't think I am perimenopausal - not even thought about it until today!!

Squiffy Sun 13-Jan-08 11:51:31

35? Ah, the foolishness of youth.

The combination of the menaopause thread and pucka's post-partum poo post means that I can't look at a prune today.

WideWebWitch Sun 13-Jan-08 11:58:36

lol at Cronesnet. I read the W&H article too, it needed a longer piece imo. So MI, get on it, do

webcrone Sun 13-Jan-08 12:02:20

Article in The Guardian, 5th January, 'Family' section. Here:

I am beginning again

motherinferior Sun 13-Jan-08 12:43:10

Will purchase W&H termorrer, honest guv.

am just reviving this thread as I hit 50 this week and have so far had no signs of impending menopause - everything as normal, the only thing I noted this week is some breast tenderness/ache (almost 2 wks after period)on one side,has lessened today..perhaps it means that next period is coming sooner than usual /

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